


Secrets, Secrets are No Fun (Octaven)

by TheworldneedsmoreOctaven



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Clexa, Drama, F/F, F/M, Fluff, G!P, G!P Raven, High School, Multi, Octaven, Smut, Threesome - F/F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-01-04 05:58:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 89,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12162903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheworldneedsmoreOctaven/pseuds/TheworldneedsmoreOctaven
Summary: When Raven’s secret came out, her life was destroyed. She did everything she could to escape her past life: she moved to a different state, started a different school, she even changed her name so no one would know who she truly was. When she finally thinks she’s in the clear, the one person who still knows her secret shows up.G!P Raven





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this an Octaven Highschool AU, with G!P Raven. It might take a while for Octavia and Raven to actually get together, but the journey there will be a wild ride...

Raven woke with a start to an alarm going off.  Groaning, she rolled over to bury her face in her pillow. The alarm continued to blare. Still under her blanket she felt around the bed for her phone. 6:30 _Who the fuck is up right now?_ Sliding open her phone, Raven realized she hadn’t even set an alarm. _Who’s alarm is it then?_ Just as she was about to get up, the alarm stopped.

Burrowing deeper into her pillow Raven tried to fall back asleep, but was jarred awake by a slamming door. Rolling over slightly, she saw her cousin. 

“Raven come on. Get up.” Raven tried to say no, but her reply was muffled by her pillow so it just came out as a groan. “Come ooooooon. We have to leave in 45 minutes.”

With that she pulled off the blanket making Raven shoot upright. “What the hell Lexa!?”

“Oh good you’re up.”

Raven glared at the older girl and slumped back down onto the bed. “I’m not going.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Lexa frowned.  “You can’t miss the first day of school.”

“I can. And I will.”

Sighing, Lexa sat at the edge of the bed.“No you can’t. I know your mom did things a little differently, but my mom will definitely not be okay with it. As long as you're living under her roof, you ARE going to school.” Realizing that sounded a little harsh, she tried to be comforting. “You might not like it, but that’s just how it is. It’s not that bad, I promise.”

Raven pushed Lexa’s hand away and sat up. “I don’t give a crap about you and your perfect family. I’m not going to  a new school just to have it start all over again. Leave. Me. Alone.”

“Raven…”

“I said fuck off!”

“RAVEN!” Lexa tried being sympathetic, but this girl was just so aggravating.

“Don’t call me that!” Raven screamed burying her face in her hands.

Lexa rolled her eyes. “What your name?”

“You promised you’d call me Marie.” Raven whined.

Lexa could see the hurt in her tired eyes, but she was too worked up to care. “I don’t see why it matters. It’s not like anyone is gonna like track you down an-”

“Just do it! Please.” Raven sounded so desperate that Lexa couldn’t stay angry at her.

“Fine, _Marie_. But we’re leaving in 40 minutes whether you’re ready or not.” With a huff she left the room, leaving Raven by herself.

Raven laid back down curling up into a ball. She waited until she heard the shower turn on before she let herself go. Tears slipped down her cheeks as tried to find the strength to get up. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t face a whole new school. Being the new girl sucked. Everyone always stared, and then there were rumors. God. The rumors were the worst. She hadn’t wanted to start her senior at a new school with strangers, but anything was better than staying at her old school. She had convinced her mom to let her live with her Aunt and Uncle and attend the most prestigious private school in the country, Polis High, just to get away from her old life.

As she heard the shower turn off, she somehow found the motivation to stand up and shuffle over to her closet. She didn’t have much from her old house since she tried to forget about her time there, so the only thing she brought were clothes. And she had a lot of them.

On the first day of school people dressed to impress, but Raven couldn’t care less about impressing anyone. She just wanted to get through the year, get into a good engineering program, and get the hell away from her old life.

Pulling on a pair of ripped black skinny jeans and a gray tank top she looked in the mirror. She looked like she hadn’t had a good night's sleep in weeks, and well, she hadn’t. But she didn’t care enough to put on any makeup, so she just splashed water onto her face and tied her hair into a ponytail. Before leaving the room, she put on her signature red leather jacket and a pair of black combat boots. Even though she didn’t care what other people thought of her, she still found herself looking at her outfit in the mirror. Pleased with what she saw, she grabbed her backpack and stomped downstairs to be met with her Aunt Indra making pancakes. That was new. Her mom never made pancakes.

“Good morning Marie.”

Raven gave a half hearted smile to the older woman as she sat down at the table. The moment Indra set down a plate, she began scarfing it down, wanting to finish before they had to leave for school.

Just as she was about to finish, Lexa came running down the stairs. “Crap I’m late.” Grabbing the keys, and giving her mom a hug, she ran out the door. “Raven LET’S GOOOOOO!”

Raven took her time walking to the car, grumbling all the way. “I said to call me Marie.”

“Oh my god, get over yourself.” Lexa pulled out of the driveway and began speeding down the street.

“Fine, Alexandria.”

Lexa scoffed. “You know I hate it when you call me that.”

“Exactly, so call me Marie or I’ll call you Alexandria.” Raven smiled to herself. 

“Ughhh now I see why you left your old school. They probably couldn’t stand you.” Lexa immediately regretted saying that when she saw Raven’s face fall. She knew she shouldn’t push her about her old school. Raven never talked about why she left, but Lexa was pretty sure it was bullying. “Hey I didn’t mean that. It was a joke.”

Raven gave a small nod. “I’m just worried this school won’t be any different.” She said in a small voice. Ever since she came to live with them, Lexa noticed that her cousin wasn’t her normal sarcastic, confident, cocky self, she was like a whole new person.

“Hey don’t say that! You’ll love it!” Lexa tried to sound sincere, but even she could sense the fakeness behind her love of school.

“But no one will like me.” Raven sighed.

“I like you! And Clarke likes you! You’re awesome! Who wouldn’t like you?”

“Everyone.” she whispered not quite quiet enough that Lexa wouldn’t be able to hear it.

“Raven Marie Reyes! You are an amazing individual, and everyone will love you. So snap out of it, and be the cocky girl that I know and love!” Lexa grinned when she Raven crack a small smile. “Now get your butt out of the car, and go have a great day.”

Raven rolled her eyes. “You said you’d take me to get my schedule.”

“And I will, but first we have to go find Clarke. I haven’t seen her in forever.”

“She was over last night.”

“Well that’s to-” Lexa was cut off by someone jumping into your arms.

“Lexa! I missed you!”

Before she could respond, Clarke connected their lips, making Raven gag. They continued to kiss until Raven cleared her throat. Both girls looked away from each other to meet Raven’s arched eyebrow. “Hey Clarke.”

“Hi Marie.” Clarke winked. She was the only person beside Lexa and her family that knew her real name.  “Ready for your first day?”

“I’m ready for it to be over.” Raven mumbled, staring at the daunting building in front of them.

“Well then let’s go!” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s hand and started dragging her towards the main office.

 

OoOoOoO

 

Once they had gotten their schedules and made their way through the complicated halls to get to their lockers, the trio stopped.

“Marie, your locker is right next mine.” Clarke squealed.

Raven gave a small smile as she tried to unstick her locker. Suddenly a boy appeared next to her and slammed his fist into the metal, making Raven jump.

“Sometimes they stick so you gotta give’em a punch.” Raven took in the wild haired boy who was wearing what looked like goggles. _Who wears goggles?_ Giving a goofy grin, he stuck out his hand. “The names Jasper. You must be the new girl.”

“Yep that’s me.” Raven stared at the ground. “I’m Marie.”

“Marie… That’s a pretty name.”

Raven raised an eyebrow as he awkwardly smiled at her. “Thanks. Ummm you too?”

“Cool cool.” When he noticed Lexa glaring at him over Raven’s shoulder Jasper stiffened and rubbed his neck while slowly backing away. “Well if you ever need anything… Homework help, a tour of the school, life advice... I’ll be around. ”

“Thanks. I must just take you up on that.” Raven gave a genuine smile as he continued to disappear down the hallway. Turning back to Clarke and Lexa she shrugged. “He seemed nice.”

“Oh he is.” Clarke assured. “He’s kinda nerdy, but a nice guy. Right Lex?”

“Yeah definitely. He’s in like all advanced classes. Very smart.”

“Oh good. Maybe he’ll be in some of mine then. It’ll be good to have friendly face.”

“Well let me see your schedule!” Clarke snatched it out of her hand, before she could even respond. “Oh my god! You’re in AP Physics C, Engineering, and Multivariable Calculus? Who are you!?”

Raven blushed. “I like math and science.”

“Well you’re in my World History Class.” Lexa chimed in, glancing at the schedule. “I heard it’s supposed to be easy.”

“And you’re in my Literature class.” Clarke added.

Raven let out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank god, at least I’ll know some people.”

“And in AP Spanish!” Clarke’s smile turned into a slight frown. She furrowed her eyebrows. “Why are you taking spanish. Don’t you already speak it?”

Playing with her hands, Raven grinned mischievously.  “Well yeah, but I’m not that good at the grammar so they’re still letting me take it.”

“Lucky! I’ve been taking it for years and I’m still pretty bad at it. But now you can help me!” Clarke bounced around in excitement .

“Hey! Don’t use my cousin as your personal tutor!” Lexa joked, nudging Clarke’s shoulder with her own.

“I can’t help it if she’s a genius!” Clarke exclaimed. “Now come one we have to go. Can’t be late for our first Spanish Class! Bye Lexa.”

Raven followed behind as Clarke pulled her through the halls. She couldn’t help but feel like everyone’s eyes were on her, and was relieved when they finally made it to the classroom. The bell rang just as they stepped inside, so the rest of the class was already seated.

Raven wanted to sit at the back, but Clarke pushed her into a seat in the second row. Before she could even look around to see who else was in the class, the teacher started speaking.

“Bienvenidos a AP Spanish. I’m Señora Cartwig. I know it’s the first day and you probably don’t feel like doing much so I thought we could just introduce ourselves, in spanish of course, and then spend the rest of the period going over our syllabus. Sound good?”

A chorus of sís and yesses came from the class, so she began to introduce herself. Raven took this time to look around the room. A group of jocks sat towards the back, and to their right were a group of girls looking like they’d rather be anywhere than there. Most of them were wearing coal on their face or something like that, with goth clothes, looking very intimidating. In front of the them, three girls were talking quietly. Raven couldn’t help but stare as she locked eyes with a brown eyed girls with wild curly hair. When the girl winked, Raven whipped back around. Feeling a blush creep up her cheeks, she returned her attention to the teacher.

“Alright so that’s me. Now does anyone volunteer to go first?”

Getting no response, she began walking between the desks. Raven was praying that she wouldn’t get called on, when she felt a presence stop beside her.

“You’re a new face. Do you want to go?” Mrs. Cartwig, smiled down at her reassuringly, so Raven shrugged.

“I guess.”

Raven stood and walked to the front of the classroom. Looking around worriedly, she was met with every single pair of eyes in the classroom staring directly at her.

Mrs. Cartwig sat at her desk, and pulled out a notebook and pen. “You can just say anything you want. A couple sentences is fine.”

“Okay.” Raven gulped. Taking a deep breath, she spoke. “Hola, Me llamo Marie, acabo de mudarme aquí. Esta es mi primer año en Polis High. Vivo con mi prima Lexa. Me gusta comer pizza. Y mi clase favorito es… bueno es todas las ciencias.”

Raven wanted nothing more than to sit down, but the teacher seemed intent on getting more out of her.

“Muy bien, Marie. Gracias! Can anybody tell me what she said. Señor Murphy?”

A boy with longish hair looked up confused. “Ummm what?”

Mrs. Cartwig looked slightly impatient. “What did Marie just say?”

“Uhhhhh yo no sé?”

Everyone laughed at his response, making him more confused than ever, but a girl in the front simply rolled her eyes and raised her hand.

“Yes Maya?”

“She said that this is her first year because she moved in with Lexa, her cousin. She likes science and eating pizza. But girl who doesn’t.” She turned around at the last part and smiled kindly at Raven.

“Good. Thank you Maya. And thank you Raven for going first. You have a very good accent!”

Raven smiled a thanks, but her eyes widened when she heard a soft voice from the back of the class speak up. “Yeah a very sexy accent.”

Jerking her head up she met the brown eyed girl’s gaze once more. She was biting her lip and staring at Raven intently, until the girl next to her, smacked her out of her daze. Raven was blushing hard. Now she _really_  wanted to sit down. The teacher seemed oblivious to the comment and finally motioned for her to go back to her seat.

For the rest of class Raven couldn’t concentrate. She was too preoccupied thinking about the gorgeous girl staring at her. Every time she so much as glanced over her shoulder their eyes would lock, making Raven even redder.

 

OoOoOoO

 

By the time class let out, the only thing Raven had learned was that the wild haired brunette was named Luna, and that she may or may not be developing a crush on her. Clarke sensed her tension, but was completely unaware to its cause.

“Hey are you okay?” She asked as they walked out of class.

“Yeah I’m fine. Just tired.”

Clarke laughed. “It’s only the first day! How can you be tired?”

“I’m always tired.” Raven shrugged.“Do you know where room 308 is?”

“Yeah of course. I’ll walk you there.”

Clarke was a genuinely nice person, but Raven couldn’t help but wonder if Lexa told her to keep an eye out for her little cousin. Either way it was still nice to not have to walk to classes alone.

When Clarke had to leave to go to her own class, Raven felt a little nervous. She was really excited about taking and Engineering class, but not knowing anyone in the class was going to be hard. Summoning up all her courage she walked inside. Instantly she was relieved when she saw the goggled boy. His face lit up when he saw her. With the same old goofy grin he waved at her to come over.

Weaving between the tables she stopped next to boy. “Hey goggles.”

“Wow a nickname already? Or did you forget my name?” He challenged.

Raven let out a small laugh. “How could I forget the name of the person who saved my locker?”

He raised an eyebrow. “So what’s my name then?”

“Jasper.”

Seeming relieved that she didn’t forget, he pulled a chair up to the table where he was already sitting with another boy. “This is Monty. Monty, Marie. Marie, Monty.”

“Nice to meet you.” Raven smiled, but he just waved back too busy tinkering with some walkie talkie looking device.

“Ignore his rudeness. He’s been trying to hack into Sinclair’s walkie talkie so we can make announcements on the loudspeaker.” Jasper explained.

Genuinely excited, Raven leaned over to look at it. “Oh cool!”

Monty let out a huff and dropped it onto the table. “Well it will be cool if I can actually get it to work.”

Raven picked it up, turning it over in her hands. “Can I?” She asked, gesturing towards Monty’s tools.

“Be my guest.”

After a minute of changing wires, Raven began turning the dial of the walkie to a specific frequency. “Try this.”

Monty and Jasper exchanged a look before tentatively picking it up. “Testing, testing,  1,2,3.”

As Jasper’s voice came over the loudspeaker, both boys whooped. “Yes we did it!!!”

The rest of the class turned to stare at them. Raven looked down while Monty gave a weak chuckle. “Um we just beat our high score on candy crush.”

A couple of students gave congratulatory looks and understanding nods, but the majority of them seemed completely unfazed.

Jasper however, could not contain his excitement. “Oh my god you’re the coolest person I know! I think I love you!”

Raven beamed as Monty began cracking up. The three of them were making quite a commotion until a teacher came in.

“Jasper, Monty, I trust you’re not being a bad influence on our newest student.”

“Of course not Sinclair.” They smiled in unison.

Narrowing his eyes at them for a moment, he shook his head and turned to Raven. “Hi there. I’m Professor Sinclair, even though everyone seems to forget the Professor part. Welcome to Polis High.”

Raven met his outstretched hand and gave a firm shake. “Thanks. I’m Marie.”

“Glad to have you in the class. We don’t really get a lot of girls, so it’s always good when we have some that are interested and talented. I’ve seen some of the work you did at your old school. Color me impressed.”

Raven blushed. While she wasn’t exactly beneath bragging about her accomplishments, she always felt embarrassed when other people acknowledged them. As he made his way to the front of the class and took attendance, Raven realized that she was the only girl in the class. All the boys had already noticed and were staring at her like she was a unicorn. Raven shifted uncomfortably on her stool, and leaned in to Jasper.

“Why are they acting like they’ve never seen a girl before.”

“Because they probably haven’t.” He whispered. “At least not as pretty as you.” Raven was sure he hadn’t meant to say the second part aloud when his eyes widened and he quickly shut his mouth.

Monty rolled his eyes. “Smooth move.”

For the rest of class, Raven, Monty and Jasper fooled around and by the time class ended, Raven left with a smile, knowing she had made two friends.

 

OoOoOoO

 

During the break between class, Raven headed back to her locker hoping that Clarke and Lexa would be there. Once again she felt all eyes on her as she walked through the crowded hall. She even heard a few whispers about the new girl. Keeping her head down, she weaved between everyone, getting jostled occasionally. _These halls are like a highway!_

“Coming through!”

Raven barely had time to jump out of the way of someone skateboarding down the hallway, but in her attempt to not get hit she ran into someone and fell back on her butt. An angry football player stood above her.

“Watch where you-” When he saw who he had bumped into his face softened. “Oh I’m sorry. My bad. Are you okay?”

Raven winced as he pulled her to her feet. She had landed roughly. “I’m fine. Sorry for bumping into you.”

“No that was my fault. You’re new right? I’m Lincoln.”

“Marie.”

“Hmm. Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

Raven laughed at his attempt at flirting then tried to walk past him. But before she could, he grabbed her arm. “Are you sure you’re okay.”

“Yep I’m fine.”

As she walked away she looked back to see him turn to his friend. “Well that’s good. It would be a shame to hurt a piece of ass like that.”

Raven rolled her eyes, and continued walking. She was glad to see Clarke and Lexa already at their lockers, even if they were making out.

Lexa was the first to notice her, and pulled away from Clarke. “How was engineering?”

She shrugged. “Okay. I’m the only girl in it though.”

“Ooooh any cute guys?” Clarke smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not really. Jasper is in it. You guys were right, he is really nice. And so is his friend Monty.”

Lexa threw her arm over Raven’s shoulder. “Awww! Look at my little cousin making friends.”

Raven blushed and pushed her arm away. “It’s not like it's some miracle. I’m a likable person. You said so yourself!”

“What I can’t be a proud mama!” Lexa cooed pinching her cheek.

Raven rolled her eyes and turned to Clarke. “You really _chose_ to date this?”

Lexa smacked her shoulder. “HEYYYY!”

Before Lexa could do any damage, Raven pranced away, smiling. “I got to go to class. See you at lunch!”

Clarke waved, but Lexa flipped her off, making Raven laugh. She was still laughing when she walked into her classroom for math. Two girls in the front row sent her questioning glares, so she opted to sit in the second to last row.

Just as she was taking out her notebooks, a familiar voice spoke up. “So I see you like math too.”

Raven looked up to see the girl from her Spanish Class. “You got me! Nerd alert.”

Maya smiled at her. “It’s Marie right?”

“Yep Marie that’s me.” Raven cursed herself for sounding so stupid. First “nerd alert” and know this?

“Well I’m Maya, Can I sit here?” She gestured at the desk next to her.

Raven smiled. “Of course.”

Aside from the fact that the teacher spilled coffee on the quizzes he was going to pass out, class was pretty boring, so Raven was glad when lunch rolled around.

As she stood to get up she turned to Maya. “Are you going to lunch?”

“Yeah. Gotta eat something, even if it is gross cafeteria food.”

“True that!” Raven laughed.

When they made it to the lunchroom, Raven immediately saw Clarke and Lexa and invited Maya to come sit with them. She eagerly accepted, and followed Raven in setting her tray down across from Lexa.

“Hi guys!”

“Hi Marie” Clarke raised her eyebrows. “And Marie’s friend.”

Maya blushed slightly. “I’m Maya, and you must be Marie’s cousin.”

“That’s me!” Lexa waved, directing attention away from Clarke.  “I’m Lexa.”

“And I’m her girlfriend Clarke.” Maya snickered a little making Clarke frown. “What?”

“Oh I figured you were dating all right.” She said focusing on her food.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Guys come on.” Raven interjected. “You’re literally sitting on each other and sharing one plate of food.”

Clarke scoffed. “Well I’m sorry if our love bothers you.”

“It doesn’t bother me.” Lexa said, kissing her girlfriend’s cheek.

Raven faked throwing up and covered her eyes. “Ahhhhh! The cuteness is killing me!” Lexa’s face turned scarlet as she shifted Clarke off of her lap. “Oh don’t stop on our behalf.” Raven said mockingly.

The three of them minus Lexa started laughing until Jasper and Monty walked up. “Hey Marie! Can we sit with you guys?”

“Of course goggles!” Raven smiled. “Clarke, Lexa, this is Jasper and Monty.”

Giving polite nods, both girls tried to hide their surprise. They were used to eating by themselves, but now that Raven was here, they assumed that was going to change.

Raven looked over at Lexa who was smiling back at her. For the first time in a year she felt happy. But then, across the room her eyes locked with familiar steel blue ones. Steel blue eyes that cut her heart out of her chest, stomped on it, and then left. Feeling tears form in her eyes, she jumped up and started walking away.

Clarke looked up at her confused. “Marie? Where are you going?”

Ignoring her, Raven continued walking, and left the cafeteria.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven's day was going pretty well until she sees someone from her past. After their reunion, her day just goes downhill from there.

Octavia’s entire morning had consisted of her best friend ranting to her. Ever since she switched schools halfway through last year, she was a popular girl, and didn’t want to mess that up. So if listening to the queen bee rant, kept her on her good side, she was going to do it. Even if it got old after the first five minutes.

Now at lunch she had started her rant all over again. “It’s just so annoying! Everyone was supposed be talking about how tan and hot I got over this summer. But noooooooo. All I’ve heard is people talking about some new girl.”

“Get over it Echo. You’re just not the hottest girl in the school anymore.”

The table was silent for a moment. No one could believe someone would dare say that to her. Echo gave the boy a death glare. “Puhlease Finn. Have you seen me? She can’t be that hot.”

“No no it’s true. I saw her earlier when Lincoln knocked her over.” Finn said with a mouthful of food.

Ontari scrunched up her nose. “Okay that is just gross.”

“Soooooo gross!” Becca and Alie agreed in unison.

Finn smirked. “No what’s gross is the things I want to do to her.”

Octavia rolled her eyes when he and Lincoln high fived across the table _Boys._ “He’s right though she is like smokin’ hot. And her ass is wow.”

Octavia was about to say something, when a tray was placed next to hers and Luna sat down. “First day of school and we’re already objectifying women? Real classy. Who is it this time?”

“Hot new girl.” Lincoln said, waggling his eyebrows.

Echo scoffed. “Dumb and Dumber over here think she’s prettier than me.”

“Which is soooo not possible!” Becca assured.

“It’s IMpossible.” Alie added.

“Oh shut up!” Echo snapped. “Just cause you’re twins doesn’t mean you have to say the same things. What do you share _one_ brain?”

Both girls flinched. When Echo was mad at something she could be kind of a bitch to everyone who even slightly annoyed her, so it was best to just avoid her completely. Even Octavia knew that.

“Oh she seems nice. Her name is Marie, she’s in my Spanish class.” Luna said before beginning to eat.

“Marie? Bleuch!  What kind of name is Marie? That sounds like a 40 year old soccer mom’s name.”

Becca and Alie immediately laughed at the joke like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard, earning a glare from Echo. Octavia snorted at the exchange.

Shifting her glare from twins to Octavia, Echo narrowed her eyes. “What’s so funny?”  

“Oh ummmm.” Octavia was quiet for a second, trying to think of something that sounded bitchy but wasn’t too mean.  “That we’re even paying attention to some new girl at all. She’s irrelevant. Who cares what her name is.” Echo nodded approvingly.

Finn looked up at them with a malicious grin.“I don’t care what _her_ name is. She’s going to be screaming _my_ name by the time we’re done.”

Echo smacked his arm. “Ewww Finn don’t be disgusting!”

“I can’t help it! She’s that hot!” Finn protested.

“Like seriously Echo.” Lincoln started. “It wouldn’t surprise me if she becomes more popular than you.”

“WHAT!” Echo screeched. “I think not! Is she head cheerleader? Is she dating the quarterback? Is she the prettiest girl in school? NO!”

“I’m just saying. You better keep an eye on Roan.” Finn shrugged. “I mean _I_   would do anything to get with her. I would like… Give up porn.” Everyone stared questioningly at him, but Lincoln just nodded in agreement.

Octavia shook her head in disbelief. “Okay she can’t be _that_ hot guys. That’s just crazy.”

“Have you seen her?” Lincoln asked with wide eyes.

“No. I mean I haven’t seen any models walking around. So I don’t think so.”

Luna finally re entered the conversation. “Oh god. She’s like beyond model. Like seriously she’s sooooo gorgeous. Like really hot. Hot with two t’s hot. Hott. I seriously think she might be a goddess. Or at least descended from one. She has these beautiful brown eyes. _And_ she’s got style. She’s just… wow!"

“Careful Lu, your gay is showing.” Echo sneered.

Luna brushed her off. “Okay first of all: for the millionth time I’m Biiiii. And second of all: for her, I would turn completely gay.”

“Okay well that’s not happening. She’s our mortal enemy now. That means off limits.” Echo glared around the table. “For everyone.”

“You can tell me to stay away.  But I can’t promise that she’ll be able to resist all this.”  Finn smirked.

Nudging Octavia, Luna laughed. “Trust me if she has any standards she’ll be able to.”

Echo huffed and crossed her arms. “I still don’t believe she’s that hot.”

“Well see for yourself.” Luna pointed across the cafeteria. “She’s sitting with Clarke and Lexa… and people.”

All eight sets of eyes turned towards the table. Octavia’s jaw dropped. She would recognize that face anywhere. She was beautiful. She knew that girl. She could never forget those eyes, that smile. But her name wasn’t Marie.

Staring in disbelief, Octavia studied the new girl. Everything about her seemed so similar, but it couldn’t be.  It just couldn’t.

The girl seemed uncomfortable, as if she knew she was being watched. Then she looked up, and for a moment, brown met blue. It was her. It had to be. Octavia’s heart broke when she saw the fear flash across her face. In an instant the girl was up from the table nearly running towards the door. She knew she shouldn’t, but Octavia stood up and followed her.

By the time she reached the hallway the girl was already out of sight. Desperate, Octavia ran as fast she could. Rounding a corner, she glimpsed a red streak disappear behind a door. _Red had  always been her color._

Jogging after her, Octavia threw open the door to the bathroom and ran in. She stared at the girl she once knew. Her hands were gripping the edge of the sink, face almost as red as her jacket, unshed tears threatening to spill at any second.

“Raven?”

Turning around, with fire in her eyes,  Raven pushed Octavia against the wall. “What the HELL do you want?”

Now it was Octavia’s turn to tear up. “Raven is it really you?”

“Who the fuck do you think I am? Don’t even try to pretend like you could forget what you did to me!” Tears replaced by sheer anger, Raven slammed her fist into the wall.

“I- I -I”

Pulling away, Raven walked back to the sink. “Don’t even fucking talk to me.”

Confused, Octavia tried to follow her. “Raven I-”

“YOU RUINED MY LIFE!”

“I know and I-”

“I fucking hate you! Just leave me alone!”  Raven pushed past her only to be stopped by Octavia grabbing her shoulder, spinning her around.

“I wanted to apolo-” she was cut off with a sharp slap.

“You don’t get to do that! I’m not going to forgive you just so you can feel less guilty!”

Octavia clutched the side of her face, suddenly growing angry. “You really did NOT want to do that.”

Raven stumbled backwards from Octavia’s push, before shoving her back into the wall. “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do!”

Anticipating the second slap, Octavia grabbed Raven’s wrist before it could make contact. “I am TRYING to apologize! You don’t have to be such a BITCH!” As her last word lingered in the air Octavia felt a wave of guilt was over her. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it like that Rae.”

Raven pulled her wrist away tears streaming down her face. “You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

All of the sudden the door opened and Echo walked in followed by Becca and Alie. Smirking when she saw Raven’s tears she sent Octavia a thumbs up. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing.” Raven muttered, wiping the tears off her cheeks. “I was just leaving.”

She moved to walk out the door but Becca and Alie stood shoulder to shoulder blocking it.

“Don’t leave so soon cry baby.” Becca sneered.

Rolling her eyes Raven pushed past them. Looking back over her shoulder she locked teary eyes with Octavia. “Just leave me alone.”

“No we’re not done here!” Octavia cringed as she realized how aggressive that sounded. “We still need to talk.”

Raven just shook her head and left.

Echo raised an eyebrow. “What was that all about?”

Running her fingers through her hair, Octavia hung her head.  “Nothing. I just- she used- I used to go to school with her.”        

With no more explanation Octavia left the bathroom.

 

OoOoOoO

 

Throughout all of physics Raven didn’t say a word. She usually loved Physics, and was excited to take it, but her whole day was just ruined after her run in with Octavia.

When the bell rang she nearly ran to her locker, hoping not to run into _her_ again. Lexa noticed her sudden change in mood, and was immediately concerned.   
  
“Hey is everything okay? You kinda ran out of lunch pretty fast.”

“Everything's just great.” Raven huffed. “Can we go to class now?”

“Yeah sure.”

Clarke and Lexa shared a quizzical look before following Raven down the hall. Lexa could practically see the steam coming out of Raven’s ears, but thought it would be best to let her talk when she was ready.

For the first time all day, Raven didn’t notice all the stares focused on her as they walked to class, but Lexa did. Every boy they passed had a predatory look in his eyes, that made Lexa’s toes curl. No one was going to mess with her cousin. Not when she was so vulnerable after changing schools.

When they reached the classroom, someone’s arm blocked the doorway. Raven looked up to meet a floppy haired boy with a sinister smirk.

“Sexy Lexy… who’s your friend?”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Fuck off Finn.”

Ignoring her, he turned to Raven. “Your name’s Marie right?” Met with a bored stare he cleared his throat and continued. “Well I’m Finn. You’re new right?” Still nothing. “Well if you ever need someone to help you around… Show you the janitor’s closets… under the bleachers...”

Before he could continue, Octavia pushed past his arm and stormed into the room. Raven’s eyes widened at the brunette's appearance. _Great now I have to deal with her every day_ _._

Walking past the confused Finn, Raven stalked to the back of the class and sat down in the last row. Lexa followed.

“Why do you want to sit in the very back?”

Raven sighed, and leaned into in her chair. “Why would I want to sit in the front?”

“Fair point.” Lexa shrugged.

The chatter of the class instantly stopped when an authoritative voice boomed through the air. “Settle down class. I’m Professor Jaha, welcome to World History. Now I know it’s the first day but that’s no excuse not to learn. To kick off the year we’re going to start with a group project.” The entire class groaned. “Now, now, calm down. This is going to be a project spread out over the entire semester.” More groans. “Consisting of a 5,000 word  research paper, a half hour presentation, and a movie you’ll share with the class and explain.”

“WHY DO YOU HATE US?”   A chorus of agreement chimed around the classroom, but Jaha just ignored them.

“This is why I tell you on the first day. So you’ll have as much time as possible to work on it. It’s vital to your success in this class that you do well, since it’s worth 25% of your overall all grade.”

“WHAT?” Why are you doing this to us?!”

“Alright that’s enough!” Jaha snapped. “This isn’t going to be some easy A for all you seniors, despite what you may have heard. Now I don’t want to hear any more complaints. I’ll assign you to your groups and topics now.”

Raven and Lexa shared a hopeful glance. _Please, please, please, let me be with Lexa._

“Group one is Becca, Lexa, Finn, Gaia, and Ontari. You’ve got World War 1” Lexa gave a small frown before moving to sit with her group.  “Group two is Octavia, Atom, Maya,  John, and Marie.”

Raven stopped listening after she heard her name called. Had she actually been put in a group with Octavia. This was going to be terrible. Snapped out of her daze by Maya, she grabbed her backpack and stood up.

Octavia was already sitting next to two boys when the duo waked up. One with curly black hair, gave a friendly smile, but the boy who was in her Spanish class only smirked.

“Alright guys! Who’s excited for this project?” Maya started.

“Not me, that’s for sure.” The long haired boy sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Shut up Murphy we have to do this.”

Confused, Raven stared at the curly haired boy. “Murphy?”

“Oh yeah, you’re new here. We all call John here by his last name, but the teachers haven’t picked up on it.” He explained. “And I’m Atom by the way.”

Raven returned his smile and couldn’t help but notice Octavia scowling. “Marie.”

“Well now that we all now each other, let’s just get this stupid thing over with.” Octavia whined, picking up her phone.

“What’s our topic again?” Murphy asked.

Maya looked up from her computer, and gave an _are you kidding me_ look _._ “World War 2. I’m sending you all a link to a google doc so we can collaborate on it.” When no one else spoke up, she continued. “So I think the best thing to do would be to start as soon as possible, sound good?”

“Whatever. I’m out.” Murphy stood and walked towards the door.

Atom looked shocked. “Murphy you can’t leave! It’s a GROUP project.”

“I’m sure none of you actually expected me to do any work. Just tell me what to say for the presentation.”

Before anyone could respond, he left. Raven stared wide eyed at the door. “Wow. Did he really just do that?.”

Octavia let out a wry chuckle, still not looking up from her phone. “Yeah well that’s Murphy for you.”

“Well anyway.” Maya continued. “Now that all the _serious_ people are here. We can start. So first thing’s first: Research. I’ll go to the library this weekend and see if I can find some primary sources, and you three can do some research online. Then we can compile our information and start the paper. But I think we can have like 3 or 4 weeks of research first. And also before we start the paper we should find a movie. So how’s a movie night at my house sound sometime?”

“Sounds good.” Atom and Raven replied in unison, making them both laugh.

Octavia looked up at the sudden outburst and rolled her eyes. “Fine. Whatever.”

Looking pleased with herself, Maya clapped her hands. “Great! I love history! I have a really good feeling about this project.”

“Me too.” Atom smiled. _Why does he smile so much. No one is that happy._ Raven thought to herself. “I’m going to go tell Professor Jaha about our Murphy situation.”

“Alrighty.” Once he was gone, Maya turned to Raven. “I’m so excited for this project. Do you want to come over next weekend to do some work?”

“Ummmmmm maybe.”

“Great! Just let me know.”

While her eyes were still glued to the phone, Octavia heard the whole thing and felt slightly left out. “What did you just say?”

Being her friendly self, Maya immediately extended the invitation. “Just how Marie is gonna come over to work next weekend. You could too if you wanted.”

“I’m not positive I can eve-” Raven was cut off before she could finish her thought.

“Yeah sure sounds like fun.” Octavia locked eyes with Raven who stared at her quizzically. _We need to talk_ she mouthed.

Trying to ignore her, Raven aimlessly scrolled through her phone. Not buying her excuse, Octavia opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by the bell ringing.

The moment she heard the bell, Raven darted from the room. Lexa barely had time to  catch up to her before she reached the library.

“Okay _what_ is going on with you?”

“Nothing!”

Getting concerned, Lexa grabbed her shoulders. “ _Clearly_ something is wrong. Raven talk to me!”

“I can’t.” she shook her head. “I just- I just want to- I just need to be alone.”

“Rae… please. You don’t seem okay.”

“It’s cause I’m not Lexa!” Pulling away, Raven buried her face in her hands.  “My life sucks and it’ll never get better! I might as well just move to Alaska…”

“Come on don’t say that. It’s only the first day.” Lexa started.

Raven scoffed. “Yeah the first day of the rest of my life.”

With a frown, Lexa grabbed her hand. “Okay we’re definitely talking about this later, but right now we’re late for class.”

Raven reluctantly allowed herself to be dragged down the hall, but stopped outside her classroom, slightly nervous to go in. With one final push from Lexa before she ran off to her class, Raven stumbled into the room.

All eyes were on her as the teacher spoke up. “Oh hello there, you must be Marie.”

Giving a small wave, she began to walk towards Clarke at the back of the room. “Yeah that’s me.”

“Not so fast, _Marie._ Since you’re late, you have the privilege of sitting right in front of my desk.”

Raven tried to her hide her disappointment, but based on the smile on his face, he saw exactly what his punishment was doing. Raven sat down with a sigh, maintaining eye contact with Mr. Kane, or so it says on his desk.

“Now as I was saying before we were interrupted. I’d like to do a little getting to know you activity, to learn more about you as people, and readers.”

Tuning out the rest of what Mr. Kane was saying, Raven began looking around the room. It seemed like a nice enough looking group of people, until she saw Octavia. Sitting in the back row, she was talking to the same dirty blonde who walked in on them in the bathroom. When their eyes met, Raven whipped her head back around, ignoring the burning feeling of someone staring at her.

Class continued on boring as ever, with the only new information Raven learned being that 95% of their class had never even read _To Kill a Mockingbird._

 

OoOoOoO

 

When class ended, for the first time that day Raven wished it hadn’t. Because if it was over, that meant she had P.E. next. Her worst class of the day. Most people really didn’t mind P.E. since it was an easy A and you barely had to do anything, but when you have a secret like Raven’s it can be quite a hassle. Locker rooms were her worst nightmare.

Raven had been dreading it all day, but now that it was here, she was down right terrified. Clarke _and_ Lexa had to literally drag her to the gym, and when she got there, she went straight for the bathroom. Confused, Clarke and Lexa went ahead and changed with the rest of the girls and checked on her on their way out.

Clarke knocked on the stall. “Hey Marie are you okay?”

“Uhhhhh I’m fine.” Raven said, trying to sound calm. “ Just ummmm cramps you know.”

“Girl I feel you.”Clarke nodded sympathetically. “Feel better.”

She started to leave but Lexa was still standing outside the stall.  “You’re still coming to class right?”

“Yeah of course. I’ll be out in a sec.”

Once she was sure they had both left. Raven ran over to her locker and quickly got changed. Worried that her “little friend” might show, she slipped on a second pair of compression shorts before putting on some baggy basketball shorts. The double compression shorts were pretty uncomfortable, but Raven would rather suffer through that, than let _anyone_ see _any_ part of her extra appendage.

She made it to gym just as a burly looking man was separating everyone into two groups. Noticing that Octavia was in the class, Raven immediately prayed that she wouldn’t be on her team.

“You! Basketball shorts!” Raven looked up to see the coach’s hand pointing to the other side of the gym. “You’re on that team.”

Raven nodded, and awkwardly jogged over to Clarke. She was glad to not be on Octavia’s team, but even gladder to have Clarke with her.

“Alright listen up!” The coach’s voice boomed throughout the room, silencing everyone. “The game is dodgeball. The rules are… there are none. Except no head shots. Once you get hit you’re out for good. Losing team has to run 5 laps. Got it? Good.”

No one even had the chance to respond before he blew his whistle signalling the start of the game. People from both team ran to the center line to grab a rubber ball, but Clarke and Raven stayed towards the back. From across the room Lexa had grabbed a ball and stared back at her girlfriend making a slicing motion across her throat.

“Oh god.” Clarke groaned. “Lexa always gets way too into this.”

The moment she said that, a ball whizzed through the air and hit her directly in the stomach. As Clarke walked off, Raven noticed a smirking Lexa high fiving a dirty blonde. A really attractive dirty blonde. Raven couldn’t help but stare at her really amazing cheek bones, until a ball flew by her head. Snapping back into reality, she quickly ran over to the corner, hiding behind all the other people on her team.

On the other side of the gym, Octavia had been focused on the brunette since the minute the game began. Even in baggy shorts she looked really good.

“Oh my god I can’t believe this.” Echo sneered.  “Can you believe  it O?”

Octavia broke her eyes away from Raven to turn back to her friends. “Hmmm? Sorry, what?”

“That Marie girl. Look at what she’s wearing. Does she think she’s cool or something?”

“Oh I don’t know.”

“Like who wears basketball shorts? They’re for guys.” Echo continued.

Becca nodded aggressively.  “She looks sooo stupid.”

“Everyone knows guys like tight, short, shorts. Duh.” Alie added.

Finn had just run by to dodge a ball, but when he heard Alie he decided to stop. “Well actually I like when we’re not wearing any shorts at all.”

“FINN!!! Go away!” Echo nearly screamed.

Laughing, he scampered off, but not before ducking and letting Becca get hit by a dodgeball.

“Guys, stop making fun of Marie!” Luna cut in. “She’s really nice. Plus you guys need to focus on not getting hit.”

“There’s no way I’m going to get hi-”

Echo was silenced by a ball hitting her in the shoulder. Glaring across the room, she narrowed in on a wide eyed Raven, who had just thrown something.

“UGGGGGGGGGGGH!” Echo screeched. “Ontari! Hit that little bitch in the face!”

As she stormed off the court she flipped of Raven, mouthing _Fuck you._ Raven was utterly confused, she hadn’t even been the person to hit her. She had thrown her ball at Lexa, who was nowhere near Echo.

Shrugging it off, Raven turned her attention back to the game. She instantly regretted it when she saw a threatening looking brunette wind up to throw at her. Her life flashed before her eyes as she watched the ball hurtle directly at her face but just before it made contact it stopped.

Eyes squeezed tightly shut Raven had dropped to the floor in an attempt to dodge it. When she finally opened her eyes, she saw Atom smiling down at her.

“Don’t worry I got you.”

Taking the hand he offered, Raven stood back up. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Just being a good teammate.” Eyes periodically scanning around the room, Atom swiftly blocked a second ball that was coming their way. “That probably would have really hurt if it hit you.”

Raven laughed. “Yeah my face would have been destroyed.”

“And we definitely can’t have that.”

Raven blushed as he winked and ran away. _Was he just flirting?_ Caught up in her train of thought, she missed the second ball that came her way. With no one there to stop it, it hit her directly in the face, knocking her to the floor.

As the world around her started spinning, Lexa rushed to her side. “Oh my god Raven! Are you okay?” Raven mumbled something in response, and tried to sit up, only to fall back down. “Okay we have _got_ to take you to the nurse!”

Not waiting for the coach, Lexa dipped her shoulder under Raven’s arm and hoisted her up to her feet. With Clarke’s help they stumbled down the hallway to the nurse’s office. Lexa started to explain what happened, but the moment she was laid down on a bed, Raven was out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! Let me know what you think.  
> So I'm going to try and update twice a week, but if that doesn't end up happening it will definitely be once a week.  
> Thanks for the kudos and comments! Enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

As Raven came too under harsh fluorescent lights, she groaned. Looking around, she figured she was at the nurse’s office, but didn’t remember how she got there. 

Hearing movement, a gruff looking man walked over.“Oh you’re up! How do you feel sweetie?”

Taken aback by the softness of his voice, Raven was silent for a minute before answering. “I’m fine. My head hurts a little.” 

“Do you feel lightheaded or dizzy.” 

“No.” 

“Any nausea?”

“Not really.” 

“Are you in any other pain at all?” 

“Besides my head no.” 

Giving her a once over, the nurse nodded approvingly and turned back to his desk. “Alright you should be fine. You’re free to go, but I’d take it easy tonight. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Before she fully left the room, Raven turned around. “Hey one question. The girl who brought me in… Tall? Brown hair? Followed by a blonde?” 

The nurse chuckled lightly and shook his head. “You mean Lexa?” 

“Yeah her! Do you know where she might be?” 

“Volleyball practice ends in 15 minutes so I’d look in the gym.” He offered. 

“Great! Thank you so much!” Realizing she sounded just a tad bit too cheery, Raven quickly left the room, and began walking towards the gym. 

Still in her gym clothes, Raven decided against changing, and just sat down in the bleachers to watch. Lexa seemed relieved by her presence, sending a small wave her way. Settling down she leaned against the wall, and scanned the room. Like they do at the end of every practice, the team was scrimmaging each other. Raven watched animatedly. She had always like volleyball, and not just because it involved athletic girls wearing nothing but spandex. 

Slightly hypnotized by a particular girl with crazy hair, Raven didn’t even notice when Clarke sat down next to her. 

“Hey Ra- I mean Marie.”

Raven smiled slightly, at least Clarke tried to call her Marie unlike Lexa. “Hey Clarke. What are you doing here?”

“Oh I’m just here to watch my amazing girlfriend dominate at volleyball.”

“Wow that’s really sweet of yo-”

“Plus her ass looks  _ amazing  _ in that  uniform.” 

Raven burst out laughing. “And there’s the Clarke I know.”

Clarke dramatically rolled her eyes. “Oh don’t act like you haven’t noticed.” 

“What that my cousin’s butt looks good?  No I hadn’t.”

“Not Lexa’s!” Clarke whisper yelled. “You’ve been drooling over Luna.”

“I HAVE NOT!” 

The sudden noise from the bleachers caught the attention of nearly the entire team. Raven blushed as they stared at her quizzically. Octavia glared up at them, but Raven was too busy looking away after Luna winked at her to notice. 

Once they went back to their game, Raven buried her face in her hands. “I hate you so much.”

“Oh you love me.” Clarke smirked. “And I mean I see why you’re staring…”

“What?” Raven’s head snapped up. 

“She’s got dat booty!”

“Clarke! Oh my god!” Raven groaned. “Why are you like this?”

Trying to avoid any more comments from Clarke, Raven turned back to the scrimmage. That was a mistake. At that moment, Lexa spiked the ball making Luna dive to the floor to hit it. Raven swore that the next ten seconds went by in slow motion. As she hit the floor Luna’s spandex rode up and Raven couldn’t help but notice just how much her butt jiggled. 

“Oh god.”

Clarke turned slightly, still focused on Lexa. “What was that?”

“Uhhhh nothing.” Raven mumbled, eyes locked on Luna. 

The more she watched, the more she realized that Clarke was right. Luna really did have a nice butt. Her next mistake was continuing to stare at it. Raven wasn’t as bad as most of the guys her age, but she did get aroused easily. As she felt her shorts start to get a little tighter, she was glad to be wearing double the protection. Trying to avoid an awkward situation, she mumbled an excuse to Clarke and got up to leave. 

Just as she reached the door to the gym, it was pulled open from the other side, revealing a boy. No not a boy, this guy was definitely a man. His long brown hair was pulled up into a man bun, and a light layer of hair accentuated his jaw line. He smiled when he saw her.

“Where are you running off to?”

“Umm well I was just- I just was- Waiting for practice to be over.” Raven stuttered. She never used to stutter before, but now at this new school, she had zero confidence, and was completely unsure of what to do or say.

“Oh cool me too. I’m Roan.”

“I’m-”

“I know who you are Marie.” He smirked. “Everyone’s been talking about you.”

Raven chuckled weakly. “Only good things I hope.” 

“Well yeah. I mean you’re kind of a mystery. But nothing bad.” He quickly explained. “I mean what could be bad about you?”

“Oh well you know…” Raven desperately wanted to get to the bathroom to take care of her little friend, but Roan seemed persistent. 

“What? Do you have a deep dark secret?” He laughed.

Raven stiffened. “Whaaaaat no!” Realizing that sounded suspicious, she tried to brush it off. “I mean who doesn’t have a secret?”

“True.” Roan nodded with a mischievous grin. “So what’s yours?’” 

Before he could make her elaborate a shrill whistle signaled the end of the match. Raven shifted anxiously on her feet, noticing that Echo was giving her a death glare. Octavia was standing next to her also frowning. 

Not wanting Octavia to notice her  _ situation _ , Raven brushed past Roan. Turning back, she yelled, “Lexa I’ll be in the car!”

As she ran down the hallway, Roan called out. “Bye Marie! I’ll  see you around!”

Storming over, Echo grabbed her boyfriend’s arm. “What do you think you’re doing?” She hissed. 

Oblivious to her anger, Roan pulled his arm away. “I was talking to Marie, the new girl.”

“Uggghhhh. Wait for me out front.” She ordered, walking back to Octavia. “Now she’s trying to steal my boyfriend? I’ve had enough of that little slut.”

“What now?” Ontari asked walking over to them.

“Marie.” Octavia explained, letting Echo continue to rant. 

“She’s just so…. So… so… AGGRAVATING! I mean who does she think she is?! It’s her first day and she has the  _ audacity  _ to try and mess with me?”

“Echo calm down.” Luna started. “I don’t think tha-”

“Who’s side are you on Luna?” She growled. “I am going to DESTROY her!”

Even Octavia got a little scared at that. When Echo set her mind to it, she could make people break. Last year she made seven people cry just with her words, including  a teacher. And she was known for humiliating her enemies or just people who bothered her, and even getting them expelled. 

Slightly worried, she spoke up. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t even know yet! But she is going to regret this!”

“Regret what? She didn’t do anything.” Luna added hesitantly. 

Fuming, Echos screeched. “LUNA I SWEAR TO GOD! If you don’t shut up I’m telling the entire school you have herpes!”

Jaw dropping in horror, Luna put her head down. They all knew Echo wasn’t beneath doing something like that. As she continued to rant Luna muttered you’re such a bitch under her breath. 

“OH!” Ontari exclaimed. “You could tell everyone that  _ Marie  _ has herpes.”

“What are you stupid?” Echo drawled. “That’s nowhere near bad enough.” Becca silently raised her hand, waiting for Echo to let her speak. “What is it?” She snapped.

“Well I was thinking. You could come up with a reason for why she got kicked out of her old school and had to transfer here.” Becca said in a small voice.

Echo paused for a minute, considering it. “I like it. But why?”

“Ummmmm drugs?” Ontari offered.

Echo shook her head. “Not bad enough.”

“She got into a fight?” Luna piped up. 

“Are you telling me or asking me?” Echo sneered, growing impatient. “Octavia what do  _ you  _ think?”

Octavia didn’t want to say anything bad, but she really didn’t want Echo to say something worse about  her. “She had an affair with a teacher?”

“Ohhhhh that’s good!” Becca and Ontari agreed. 

“No! Good thinking, but that will just make boys like her more! We want everyone in the entire school to avoid her like the plague! Especially the guys!” The five of them were silent for a moment, waiting in anticipation of whatever Echo was about to come up with.

“That’s it.” Echo clapped, looking quite pleased with herself.  “Starting tomorrow, we’re telling everyone she’s gay.“ 

 

OoOoOoO

 

Raven was silent the entire ride home. Despite Lexa’s many attempts at conversation, Raven completely ignored her, and stared out the window. 

When they got home she went straight to her room, passing her Aunt. 

“Marie! What’s the report for the first day?”

Getting no response, Indra tried to follow her up the stairs, until Lexa stopped her. “She’s had a long day. Don’t worry though, I’ll talk to her.”

Already face planted on her bed, Raven didn’t even try to respond when Lexa knocked on the door. 

“Rae are you okay?”

Raven flinched at the nickname. The nickname that Octavia used to call her. The nickname that she called her today for the first time in forever. 

Lexa let herself in, and cautiously sat down at the edge of her bed. “You can at least say  _ something _ .”

Staying silent, Raven rolled over and put her head on Lexa’s lap. Immediately getting the message, Lexa began running her fingers through her hair, knowing how much it calmed her. 

Letting out a deep breath, Raven looked up with sad eyes. “Can you just- Can we just not talk?”

Lexa nodded understandingly and started rubbing her back until Raven laid back down. They sat in silence for a while, Raven thinking about Octavia. After seeing her once best friend for the first time in nearly a year, she couldn’t help the memories that came flooding back. 

The two used to be best friends. The kind of best friends that shared everything with each other. Even their most secretive secrets. Raven’s mind wandered to the day she told Octavia her biggest secret. One of the best days of her life. 

 

_ Raven had spent the night at the Blake’s like she did every Saturday, Cuddling with Octavia was her favorite part of the week, but being rudely awoken by the same girl was the worst.  _

_ “Raven get up!”  _

_ Groaning in response, Raven kept her eyes shut tight, and rolled over.  _

_ “Raeeeeeeeeee! It’s past noon! Let’s go do something!” Octavia whined. _

_ Raven opened one eye to see her best friend standing right next to her.  “Noooo. Let’s just stay in and cuddle.” _

_ Reaching out for Octavia’s hand, Raven opened both eyes when she couldn’t find it. Octavia was standing with her arms crossed, glaring down at her. “You always do this! I let you sleep in sooo much! Let’s go to the beach!”  _

_ Giving her best puppy dog eyes, Raven held out her arms. “Pweeeeeaaase?” _

_ Octavia rolled her eyes. “Fine. But only for five minutes. And only cause I like you.”  _

_ Pleased with her answer, Raven scooted over to let Octavia lie down. When she finally got under the blankets Raven enveloped her in a hug. Humming happily, she inhaled the sweet scent of Octavia’s shampoo as her hair fell over her face. Raven nuzzled further into the pillow, and pulled her closer.  _

_ Octavia chuckled. “Somebody’s extra cuddly this morning.” _

_ “Mmmm no talking. Just sleeping.”  Raven muttered, voice still thick with sleep. _

_ “Okay.” Octavia agreed. “Just because you give good cuddles though.” _

_ Raven beamed at the compliment.  _

_ Just as she was starting to lull back to sleep, Octavia shifted to sit up. “Come on. It’s been five minutes.” _

_ Raven whined unhappily. “Just five more.” _

_ “No! I don’t care how good your cuddles are. We need to get up.”  _

_ “I don’t want toooooooo.” _

_ “Well you have to.” Getting off the bed, Octavia pulled off the covers, making Raven curl up into a ball at the cold air. “Come on Babe, let’s go.” _

_ Raven stiffened at the nickname. Babe. That’s what people in relationships called each other. Did Octavia want a relationship? Did she finally feel the same way?  _

_ Before she could say anything, Octavia had grabbed the sleeve of her sweatshirt and started pulling her off the bed. Reflexively, Raven jerked her arm back, but since Octavia was holding on to her, she came with it.  _

_ Completely unexpecting Raven’s action, Octavia fell back onto the bed. Directly on top of Raven. With her legs straddling Raven’s waist, all of her weight was directly on Raven’s special friend. Feeling the added pressure, Raven knew this wasn’t going to end well. _

_ “Octavia get off!” Raven tried to remain calm, but she felt herself start to get hard.  _

_ “Not until you get up!”  _

_ Ohhhhh she was up all right.  _

_ “O! Please!” Raven knew it wasn’t long until she was fully hard, and then Octavia would definitely feel it.  _

_ Getting desperate, she used all her strength to flip them over. Octavia’s eyes widened when she felt something hard press against her thigh; at the same time Raven realized what she had done and quickly got off of her, throwing herself face first onto the other side of the bed.  _

_ Stunned, Octavia couldn't speak, but after sitting in silence for several minutes she broke out of her daze. “Raven. What was that?” _

_ “I’m so sorry O! I should have told you.” Raven started.  _

_ “What. Was. That?” _

_ Raven took a deep breath, and struggled to look directly in her eyes. “Iwasbornwithapenisandiknowhthatmakesmeafreakbutpleasedonthateme,” _

_ Octavia looked down in confusion. “What?” _

_ Raven sighed. “I uhh. I- I well- I have a dick.” _

_ Octavia raised her eyebrows. “Oh.” _

_ Now it was Raven’s turn to be confused. “Oh? That’s all you have to say?” _

_ Octavia shrugged. “Can I see it?” _

_ “C-c- can you see it?” _

_ “Yeah. Can I?” _

_ Raven was beyond shocked. Her best friend, her crush, her everything, not only knew she had a penis, but didn’t run away when she found out, and wanted to see it,  _

_ Sensing Raven’s hesitation, Octavia put her hand on her shoulder. “I mean you don’t have to. I just- I’ve just never seen a dick before. I’m kind of curious.” _

_ This was not how she planned this  going. “I- I - I don’t think that’s a good idea.” _

_ Octavia nodded in agreement. “Yeah you’re probably right. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” _

_ “ _ **_You_ ** _ make  _ **_me_ ** _ uncomfortable? I thought you were going to be disgusted when you found out.” _

_ “No. I mean so you’re intersex, it’s just the way you were born. It’s a part of you.” _

_ Raven looked up at her in awe. “Wow if I had known you’d have reacted like this, I would have told you earlier.” _

_ “Yeah why didn’t you? Did you think I was going to run away or something.” Octavia laughed, trying to ease Raven’s worries.  _

_ “Well kinda.” Raven admitted, blushing slightly. “I thought you’d hate me. Or think I was some freak or something.” _

_ Octavia cupped Raven’s face with her hands, and stared deep into your eyes. “I could never hate you. I love you. I love you so much Rae. I’d never stop loving you.”  _

 

Raven hummed happily, making Lexa smile. With the combination of playing with her hair, being snuggled up under a blanket, and happy memories, she drifted off to sleep, getting caught up in her dreams. Well… nightmare. 

 

_ “Raven come on you look amazing.” _

_ “I don’t know....” Raven pulled at the hem of her dress, trying make sure it covered enough in the front.  _

_ Octavia rolled her eyes dramatically. “I promise no one will see your dick. Now can we please go? We’re gonna be late.” _

_ “Alright alright let’s go.” Raven grabbed, her coat smiling.  _

_ Ever since Octavia had found out about her extra appendage, Raven had been much more relaxed. Nothing had changed between the two of them, (Much to Raven’s relief) in fact they were even closer, and Raven couldn’t be happier.  _

_ Raven had always hated school dances. They usually involved wearing dresses, which was difficult to do if you were trying to hide something between your legs. But because Octavia really wanted to go, and Raven would do anything for Octavia, she was in a dress, and going to Homecoming.  _

_ As they walked into the dimly lit gym, Raven admired the way Octavia looked under the glow from the fairy lights on the walls. She always looked beautiful, but tonight she was gorgeous. Her tight black dress, hugged her curves perfectly, and her hair effortlessly cascaded over her shoulders. She looked hot and she knew it. Both of them had been asked to the dance by multiple boys, but Raven knew they wouldn’t have asked her if they knew about her condition, and Octavia didn’t want her to go alone, so they went together.  _

_ “Look at us. It’s only right that the two hottest people here came together.” Octavia laughed, pulling Raven forward.  _

_ “You really do look amazing O.” Raven added bashfully.  _

_ “Well so do you! You look really good in dresses. You should wear them more.” _

_ Raven blushed. “I’m nowhere near as pretty as you.” _

_ “Don’t say that!” _

_ “Ow!” Raven flinched as Octavia slapped her arm.  _

_ “You are gorgeous!” _

_ “Okay okay I believe you!” Raven laughed, holding up her arms in fake surrender. _

_ “Good! Now get your butt on the dancefloor. Because we are dancing like there’s no tomorrow!” _

_ Raven followed eagerly with a wide grin as Octavia walked to the middle of the gym, weaving between other couples. Some pop song was playing, and Octavia immediately started singing along. She jumped all around, belting the lyrics, while Raven just watched, still smiling.  _

_ After a while, both of them were breathless, and about to go get a drink when a slow song came on. Raven held out a hand, which Octavia eagerly accepted. Raven wrapped her arms around Octavia’s waist and pulled her close while Octavia’s hands rested on her shoulders.  _

_ They swayed in silence with their foreheads touching as Raven built up the courage to say something. When the second slow song started, she pulled back and looked into her favorite blue eyes.  _

_ “O, I need to tell you something.” _

_ Sensing her seriousness, Octavia loosened her grip and stepped back a bit, creating more space between them. “What is it?” _

_ “Ithinkihavefeelingsforyou.” _

_ “Rae you have to stop doing that!” Octavia laughed. “I can never understand what you’re saying.” _

_ Raven stopped swaying. “I have feelings for you.” _

_ Dropping her hands completely, Octavia frowned. “You what?” _

_“I love you.” A beat passed. “I think I have for a while now.  And not like a best friend love, an I’m_ **_in_** _love with you love. Head over heels, would do anything for you love. You’re the most important person in my life. You’re my best friend, and you’ve always been there for me.  I’ve never trusted anyone more than you. Because you’re my everything. My life doesn’t make sense without you. You’re the reason I get up in the morning, and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. And god I know this is cheesy as hell, and you always make fun of me for being a hopeless romantic but that’s just another reason that I love you. Crap. I’m not very good at this and I’m really rambling now, so you can you please say something before I do something I’ll regret.”_

_ Raven let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Staring hopefully at Octavia, her heart broke when she saw the look on her face.  _

_ “Raven… I can’t.” Slowly backing away, she shook her head.  _

_ Raven’s voice cracked as she held back tears. “What do you mean you can’t.”  _

_ “I can’t date you.” Octavia gave a sorrowful glance and started to leave. _

_ “Wait… Octavia.” Raven grabbed Octavia’s wrist trying to stop her from leaving.  _

_ “JUST GET AWAY FROM ME! I DON’T WANT TO DATE YOU!” _

_ Everyone had stopped dancing and was now staring at them. Raven was near tears. “Octavia please.” _

_ Octavia grew frantic. “GET AWAY YOU FREAK!” _

_ Raven felt hot tears streak down her face. She wanted to run away but her feet wouldn’t carry her. She was frozen. Suddenly a boy from behind her walked up, standing between the two of them.  _

_ “Hey hey hey. Hold up that’s not cool. Just because she’s gay doesn’t mean she’s a  freak. You don’t have to go out with her, but you don’t have to be rude about it. You need to apologize.” _

_ Octavia looked mortified. “I’m not homophobic!”  _

_ “Sure. Says the person who's being mean to the one gay person in this school.” _

_ Locking eyes with Octavia, Raven knew that’s not why she was calling her a freak.  _

_ “I am NOT homophobic! My brother is gay!”  _

_ “So what? You get special privileges to call people freaks?” _

_ “NO! Of course not! That’s not why she’s a freak.”  _

_ Everyone stared expectantly at her. Waiting for her to finish. Raven gave her a pleading look, but Octavia ignored it.  _

_ “SHE HAS A DICK! SHE’S A FREAK OF NATURE!”  _

_ The entire room went silent. All eyes turned toward Raven who was still frozen. Octavia cringed at the look of hurt on her face. After a moment of people of whispering and staring at her, Raven jumped to life. Tears streaming down her face she pushed through the crowd and ran into the hallway. Not stopping to catch her breath she sprinted out the main entrance and ran down the street.  _

_ Finally stopping when her body couldn’t run anymore, she collapsed onto the ground as sobs wracked her body. _

 

OoOoOoO

 

“RAVEN!”

Raven was jolted out of her dream by Lexa shaking her. As she sat up she felt a warm wetness on her face. She didn’t even realize she had been crying. 

Lexa pulled her into a tight hug, and let her cry. “Raven I know you’re upset. But clearly something is really wrong, and I  _ need  _ you to tell me so I can help you.”

Raven nodded in between sobs and started to explain. It took a while since she had to stop every sentence to cry, but eventually she told Lexa the whole story. When she made it past the dance, she had to take a moment before she could go on. All the while, Lexa kept a comforting hold on her. 

“Then that Monday at school everyone was horrible. They were so mean *sobs* Octavia tried to help, but she just made it worse. I was so mad at her. *sobs* Then people started making fun of her too, and the next week *sobs* she wasn’t at school. She left me a note saying how sorry she was, and that she didn’t mean to *sobs* but it didn’t matter. *sobs* She did it. She told everyone *sobs* Everything got worse after she left. *sobs* I couldn’t go a day without being harassed or physically hurt. *sobs* My depression got so bad that my mom eventually caved and let me come live with you to switch schools.”

Lexa had been quiet for the entire story, but she couldn’t help the “Oh my god.” that escaped her lips after that.

“And the worst part is that it’s not over.” Raven broke down again, burying her face in Lexa’s neck. “She’s here too, and she could tell everyone my secret again. Just ruin my life all over again.”

Lexa couldn’t help but cry at Raven’s words. Seeing her cousin who used to be so happy and confident, look so vulnerable broke her heart. “Raven.... I had no idea. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I will always be here for you.” 

Raven wailed harder at that. “I just can’t anymore. Every time I look at her...” 

Lexa cut her off. “She is not going to do anything to you. I won’t let her.” Raven used to stand up for Lexa and beat up people who made fun of her when they were little, but now the tables had turned. “No one is going to mess with you. You hear me?”

Nodding slightly, Raven seemed to calm down. “Thanks Lex.”

Lexa hugged her tighter. “You don’t have to thank me. You’d do the same for me.”

“I love you so much.”  

“I love you too Rae. I love all of you including your magical dick that you’ve apparently been hiding from me for years.”

Lexa burst out laughing, making Raven smile a little. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you that part.” She pouted, scooting away.

“I’m kidding!” Lexa said, still laughing.  “I just can’t believe I didn’t notice!”

Raven shrugged. “Well I’m a grower not a shower, so that helps.”

“OH MY GOD! EWWWW!” Lexa faked gagging, and covered her ears. “Don’t tell me that! I’m your cousin!”

“You brought it up!” Raven protested.

“I didn’t think you’d say THAT! You’re my sweet innocent baby cousin!”

Raven rolled her eyes, and laughed. It had been a while since she laughed genuinely like that, and it felt good.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's chapter 3. Hope you liked it! Thanks for all the kudos and comments!  
> The next chapter will probably be a little shorter so it should be out soon


	4. Chapter 4

**** The next day, Raven woke up relieved. She had told Lexa everything, and the older girl was nothing but supportive. She knew that unlike some people, Lexa would stick around. For the first time in awhile, Raven wasn’t dreading going to school. But all that went away the second they walked into the building. 

Raven couldn’t help but notice how much attention she was getting. As she walked the halls, all eyes were on her. Worried that she was just being paranoid, she tried to ignore it. But when she heard whispers of “that new girl” she knew it wasn’t just her imagination. 

Unable to take the stares, Raven speed walked to the nearest bathroom, and locked herself in a stall. Class was going to start soon, but she was willing to be late if it meant walking down empty halls. After a few minutes, she was about to leave when two girls walked in. 

Raven couldn’t quite make out their faces through the crack in the door, but decided she should make her presence known. Just as she was about to unlock the door, one of the girls spoke up. “Oh my god you’re never going to believe what I just heard.”

“Was it about the new girl?” Curious as to what they might say, Raven stayed silent. 

“Yes how’d you know?”

“Because I just heard about it from Echo. Do you think it’s true?”

The girl scoffed. “Of course it’s true. Why would you make up something like  _ that?”  _

“I don’t know. I just totally didn’t expect it.”

“Yeah I know what you mean. She seemed soooo… normal.”

Raven’s heart started racing. She couldn’t believe it. It was only the second day and everyone already knew. How was she supposed to get through another year of this. 

“I know! She seemed pretty cool.”

“Oh my god!” The girl dropped whatever was in her hand, making a loud clatter into the sink. “You don’t think…. I bet that’s why she transferred here.”

“No you’re right! She probably got bullied!”

Stiffening at how casually she said that, Raven held in a breath. 

“I mean I’m progressive and all. But it’s a little weird. And totally unexpected.”

“Totally!”

“But at least now all the boys will stay away from her. So that’s good for us!”

Both of them burst out laughing before finally finishing up whatever they were doing and leaving. 

Raven was panicked. Octavia was friends with Echo, so if Echo was spreading rumors there was a good chance it wasn’t about her charming personality. Quickly wiping her tears, Raven took a moment to collect herself before running to her classroom. 

Having been in the bathroom for so long, she was very late when she finally walked in, so her appearance drew the attention of the entire class. Señora Cartwig said something to her, but Raven was too focused on the whispers coming from her classmates to notice. 

With her head down, she walked past Clarke to sit in the farthest row. All eyes followed her. Raven pulled up the hood of her jacket and tried to ignore their stares, but when an entire classroom is watching you, it’s hard not to notice. The teacher eventually got their attention back, but for the rest of class, everyone periodically looked back to sneak a glance at her. 

After class Clarke tried to talk to her, but Raven snuck out the door and made a beeline for Engineering. Walking the halls was brutal, but no one actually confronted her, so at least that was better than the last time everyone found out. 

Expecting Jasper and Monty to shun her, Raven was surprised when they sat down next to her. Seeing the confused look on her face, Jasper cocked his head. “What’s up with you? Get some engine oil in your coffee this morning?”

Raven gave a half smile at his attempted joke. “No I just figured you guys wouldn’t want to be seen with me.”

Monty noticed that the rest of the class  _ was  _ giving them strange looks. “Why wouldn’t we want to sit with our friend?”

“I don’t know….” Raven started, with her head down. “You might have heard something about me this morning and decided I wasn’t worth being friends with... “

Jasper and Monty shared a glance. They had no idea what she was talking about. “Ummm… What would people be saying about you?”

Raven perked up at that. “You haven’t heard anything?”

“If you hadn’t noticed…. We’re kind of outcast nerds.” Jasper laughed. “No one really tells us anything.”

“Yep. I mean it’s not like you killed someone right?” Monty asked jokingly. 

A smile crept up Raven’s face as she realized she was in the clear. “No.” 

Monty held out his fist for a fist bump. “Then good, we can still be friends.” 

“Yeah.” Jasper added. “Our standards are pretty low. We just don’t allow murderers, clowns, or anyone who doesn’t know who Tony Stark is.”

“Actually?” Jasper nodded seriously. “Who doesn’t know who Tony Stark is.”

“You’d be surprised.” Monty said disapprovingly. 

“ _ Everyone _ has seen Iron Man.” Raven nearly yelled, gesturing wildly. 

“Pretty much.” Jasper shrugged. “But like I said, we have low standards.”

Raven laughed and crossed her arms on the table. “When I first saw it I loved it so much that I’ve always wanted to make my own iron man suit.” 

Both boys’ jaws dropped. “I didn’t think it was possible but I love you even more.”

“Thanks goggles. Love you too.” Raven winked leaving their station to go find something to work on. 

Raven always loved tinkering. Ever since she was a little kid she loved working with her hands, it became her one escape from reality when shit hit the fan last year. So spending an entire class working Polis High’s high tech tools, calmed Raven down immensely. Before she knew it, class was ending and Sinclair had to kick her out of the room to make her leave. 

Still on her high from Engineering, Raven didn’t notice the whispers in the halls as much, but when she got back to her locker, Lexa and Clarke were seething. 

“There you are!” Lexa exclaimed, hugging her cousin. “We were so worried. Are you okay?” Pulling back she studied Raven’s face until the shorter girl pushed her away. 

“I’m fine.”

“Have you heard what they’ve been saying about you?” Clarke asked concerned. 

“No, but I have a pretty good idea.”  Raven answered dejectedly.

Just as she shut her locker and turned around, some jock that was walking by knocked the books out of her hand. “Hey GAYes!”

Raven looked up confused. “What did he call me.”

“FUCK OFF!” Lexa yelled flipping off the retreating bully. “He called you Gayes. Someone started a rumor that you were gay. I’m so sorry Rae.”

Clarke tried to comfortingly pat her shoulder, but Raven just started laughing. Now it was their turn to be confused. “What’s so funny?”

Unable to answer because she was doubled over laughing, Raven picked up her books. Suddenly the conversation she heard earlier made a lot more sense. All eyes were watching the scene, confused as to what was happening. After a minute she calmed down. “I’m relieved that’s why.”

Still confused, Clarke pushed for more. “Why are you relieved?”

“I thought they were saying... something else. They tried to spread a nasty rumor about me but they really just told everyone the truth.” Raven explained, wiping away a tear. “So the jokes on them.”

Lexa and Clarke stared at her completely shocked. “YOU’RE GAY?” They said in unison.

“Yeah…” Raven narrowed her eyes. “Did you seriously not know? I mean Clarke I was literally drooling over Luna  yesterday.”

Clarke stared at the ground. “I was just trying to make you uncomfortable, I didn’t know you were… serious.”

“And Lex… You really didn’t figure that out after everything I told you yesterday?”

Lexa thought for a moment. “Woooow. I feel like an idiot. Yeah that makes sense now.”

“Wait how long have you known?” Clarke asked, feeling like she was missing something.

“Basically my whole life. Guys think they like me, but when they get to know the whole me… They don’t like what they see.”

Still confused, Clarke furrowed her eyebrows, but a second later her whole face lit up. “Oh my god! Do you know what this means?”

“Ummmm no?”

Clarke looked excitedly from Lexa to Raven. “We can help you get a girlfriend! We can go on double dates now!”

“Clarke I don’t think tha-” Raven started before Lexa threw an arm around her shoulder.

“She doesn’t need help getting a girlfriend! She’s related to me! She’s got charm!”

“Yeah.” Clarke rolled her eyes. “I see where she gets her cockiness from too.”

 

OoOoOoO

 

Utterly relieved that her secret was still safe, Raven almost skipped to her next class. People were still whispering and staring, but since it was true, she didn’t really mind. Sure it was a dick move to out someone to an entire school, but Raven was confident in her sexuality. It was her gender she struggled to accept. 

After math was over, Maya timidly waited for her to leave the classroom. “Hey Marie. How are you?”

Raven took a deep breath. “Yes the rumor is true. I’m gay. I like girls. Allllll about the ladies. Chicks before dicks. Hoes  _ before  _ bros. Sisters before misters. Box before cocks. Holes before poles. Betwixt the thighs, before kissing guys. 100% GAYYYYYY. And I’m good how are you?”

Maya was stunned for a minute before cracking up. “Oh my god! That was the funniest thing I heard all day. You seem to have some confidence in yourself.”

“Well you kind of have to.” Raven shrugged. “Especially when people just randomly decide to out you at a new school.”

Maya frowned and rubbed the back of her neck. “About that. I know who started the rumor.”

Raven’s eyes widened. “WHO?”

“It was Echo.”

“Well shit.” Raven mumbled. “I knew she didn’t like me, but that’s just low.”

“I know. But I wouldn’t do anything to make her even madder, this is isn’t even the worst she’ll do.” Maya muttered, not wanting anyone else to here.

“Yeah don’t worry I plan on avoiding her.” Raven agreed. “Now come on let’s go to lunch.”

Happy that all the people she had told, responded positively, Raven smiled as they walked to the cafeteria. But when they walked in, her smile was replaced by a frown. The entire room went silent and all eyes were on her. Feeling awkward, Maya bolted to go sit down with Clarke and Lexa, but Raven just crossed her arms and furrowed her eyebrows.

“Can I help you with something?”

Instantly everyone looked away and started having conversations, or at least pretending to. Smirking, Raven waved at Clarke and Lexa and went off to get her food. 

Echo rolled her eyes. “Does she think she’s scary or something. Commanding everyone like that? Why isn’t she crying or wallowing in shame?”

“What if she’s actually gay?” Luna offered hopefully. “Or not ashamed to be called it.” 

“That actually would explain a lot.” Finn considered, deep in thought.“She wasn’t not into me, she’s not into guys as a whole.”

“Oh shut up!” Echo snapped. “Roan do something!”

Looking around confused, Roan noticed that Raven was about to walk by with her lunch. Not knowing what to do he said the first thing that came into his head. “Hey GAYes!”

The room went silent again as Raven turned around. She knew she shouldn’t confront them, but she couldn’t deal with this girl anymore. Raising her eyebrow she stared at Echo. “You called?”

Surprised that she even responded, Echo took a moment to think of a comeback. “How’s being gay?” She sneered. 

“Pretty nice actually.” Raven shrugged. “Girls are much better kissers. How’s being a conniving bitch?”

Everyone gasped as Echo was rendered speechless. Raven had directed her comment at Echo, but was glaring at Octavia making her squirm under the harsh stare. 

Echo was snapped out of her daze when someone muttered. “Oh no she didn’t.”

Glaring back at Raven, she spat, “So you really are gay? Makes sense since you have a dyke cousin.”

Everyone knew that Clarke and Lexa were girlfriends and 98% of the school shipped them, so they watched, silently glaring  as Echo dug her own grave. 

Raven was getting pissed. People could say whatever they wanted to her face, but bringing her family into it… Heeellll no.“Wow… do you have a problem with being gay Echo? I thought this was the 21st century and that people weren’t homophobic assholes anymore.”

“Uhh uhhh I- I’m not homophobic I-” Echo stuttered until Raven cut her off. 

“Oh of course not, you’re just a regular asshole. You think being gay is something to make fun of so you tried to insult me by spreading a rumor. Well joke’s on you! I AM gay! And proud of it! And I’m single.” Raven winked at the rest of the room before turning back to Echo. “But don’t worry I won’t try to turn you gay, you’re not my type. I don’t like preppy little bitches who think they’re better than everyone.”

Echo opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out, only making Raven smirk more. 

“I guess I really should thank you for outing me to everyone... Now I don’t have to have the same conversation a million times and run into any more homophobic dicks like you. So thank you sooooooo much Echo  Now unless you have something to say I’m going to leave now and go eat with my awesome non homophobic friends. Yes friends, you know people who genuinely like you and don’t just pretend to so they’re on your good side. You should try finding some.” Turning around with a flip  of her hair Raven could feel Echo still glaring at her. “I know you probably love having the privilege of watching me walk away, but you shouldn’t stare so hard or you’ll go against your own beliefs and have to hate yourself has much everyone else does.” Blowing a kiss before she continued walking, she smirked as she heard Echo scream. 

When she finally walked back to a beaming Lexa, the entire room erupted in cheers. Raven grinned when she heard it. Quite pleased with herself for making Echo turn so red, she didn’t stop smiling for the rest of lunch. 

Lexa pulled her into a hug the second she sat down. “I am so fucking proud you.”

“ _ You _ are my hero!” Maya gushed.

Clarke nodded in agreement. “It was about time someone put her in her place.”

A few minutes later, an angry Luna walked up. Pissed that her supposed friend was so blatantly awful to a fellow queer person, Luna couldn’t stand to be by her. On her way out of the cafeteria, she had to walk by Raven’s table, but instead of just storming out, she  stopped for a minute. 

“Hey Marie.” Raven froze as she heard the familiar silky voice. “I’m sorry that Echo is so…. awful. Nobody deserves to be outed like that, but I like your confidence. If you ever need someone to talk to… Just let me know.”

As quickly as she appeared, Luna left, leaving a speechless Raven completely shocked. 

“D-d-d-did Luna just talk to me?”

“Well somebody has a crush.” Clarke laughed, making Raven blush. 

Slightly overwhelmed by everything she had just done, Raven just quietly ate her food and zoned out. Jolting to when she felt a tap on her shoulder, Raven was immediately worried that it was Echo, or worse, Octavia. She slowly turned around. Relieved to see it was a smiling blonde, Raven’s face softened. 

“Umm hello?”

“Hi.” 

Neither one of them spoke for a minute until Clarke kicked Raven  under the table. Sending her a glare, Raven clutched her leg, before smiling up at the blonde. “You look kind of familiar… Do I know you?”

“Yeah! Sorry for not introducing myself! I’m Niylah, I’m in your World History Class.”

“Well hello Niylah from my World History class. Do you need something?”

“Actually yeah. Can I talk to you for a second?”

Looking back at Clarke and Lexa who just shrugged, Raven stood. “Yeah what’s up?”

Niylah looked around the room cautiously, and took a step back motioning for Raven to follow.  “I just wanted to say that I think you’re amazing. Echo has bullied me for the past four years here just because I’m gay. And what you did just made my life.”

Raven chuckled. “Oh come on. That was nothing.”

“No it was something. You stood up to her. But not only for yourself. I’ve been out for years to my family but I was never comfortable having people know here… because of Echo. But you just changed that and you’ve only been here two days. So I’ve decided you’re my favorite person in the world.”

Blushing, Raven tried to avoid looking at the smiling girl in front of her. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know all I need to. So I have to ask if you’ll help me.”

Raven cocked her head to the side and raised her eyebrows. “Help you with what?” 

Niylah smiled, and stared at the ground. “Coming out.” Before Raven could even understand what was happening, Niylah’s lips were on her own, moving slowly. Shocked, her eyes were still open, but after a moment she put her hands around Niylah’s waist and reciprocated the kiss.

A few people around them noticed what was going on and  gasped, but when Lexa yelled, “AYYYY That’s my cousin! GET SOME REYES!” the rest of the room started watching. 

Pulling back, Niylah looked up bashfully at Raven. “Sorry if that was too much. I just wanted people to know without having to tell them.”

“I’d definitely say you’re out know.” Raven laughed, brushing a piece of hair behind Niylah’s ear. “Need help with anything else?” She winked.

Niylah laughed slightly but then grew silent. “Actually there is something… You could say yes to going on a date with me?”

Raven grinned. “I’d love to.” Pulling her back into another kiss, Raven put her hand into the air and stuck up her middle finger. Everyone knew who it was meant for. As Echo gasped, the rest of the room started to clap. Raven had never gotten a slow clap before, but now that she had, she decided it was the second best feeling in the world. She still wasn’t sure what the best feeling in the world was, but she was positive that there was something better out there.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raven badass Reyes is back ladies and gentleman! I loved writing this chapter! I hate seeing Raven hurt so making her win for once is nice, plus writing Raven as the BAMF she truly is, is always fun.   
> I hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for the kudos and comments!


	5. Chapter 5

After Raven’s outburst, the entire school couldn’t stop talking about her. Most of them applauded her for knocking Echo down a peg, but the rest of them had crushes on her. Not used to any kind of positive attention, Raven just kept to herself, so after a few days the whole thing had blown over and everyone went back to their own boring lives.

Everyone except Echo.

Echo had been the queen bee of Polis High from the second she stepped foot on campus as a freshman, and she didn’t get that way by letting nobodies insult her in front of the entire school. Not one to let go of a grudge, Echo had been plotting her revenge from the moment she was left humiliated in the cafeteria.

No one had ever messed with her like that before. The people who tried… well… they always ended up regretting it. But Marie was different. She hadn’t been trying to dethrone her, she  just wanted her to leave her alone. And for some reason that made Echo even madder. People didn’t get to just ignore her.

What made it worse, was that Marie seemed happy. She and her stupid girlfriend walked the halls hand in hand, with dumb smiles on their faces, which drove Echo mad.

But the thing that made her the most angry was that people didn’t run away in fear like they normally did when she walked down the halls. Usually everyone parted like the red seas when Echo and her crew walked to class, but now she had to walk like a normal student, weaving between  her classmates. Just the other day a freshman, _a freshman,_ had the audacity to bump into her.

And now, sitting at lunch, watching Marie be happy, Echo lost it. With a huff she grabbed her backpack and stood up. When no one followed her, she angrily turned around.

“What are you waiting for? We’re done. Let’s go.”

Becca and Alie immediately followed, but Octavia and Ontari remained seated. Luna didn’t even acknowledge that Echo had said something. Octavia didn’t really want to go with them, and Ontari was more concerned with the pile of food in front of her than getting up, so none of them moved.  Looking between her tray and Echo, Ontari pouted.

“But I’m still eating.” Not missing the glare Echo sent her, she immediately defended herself.  “I skipped breakfast. I’m starving!”

“Do I look like I care? I said we’re leaving.” Echo snapped.

Octavia quickly got up, while Ontari following behind like a sad puppy, but Luna didn’t budge. Echo felt slightly guilty (like that was even possible) about sounding so homophobic and had been giving Luna her space.

“What about you Lu? Are you still coming over after school.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Maybe. If I feel like it.”

“Okay great! Well I hope you have a good rest of the day.” Octavia had never seen Echo be so nice to someone. It was strange. But after they left the cafeteria she was back to her normal self. “I don’t see why she’s so mad at me. I _said_ I was sorry.”

“Maybe it’s because you’re always like that.” Octavia muttered under her breath.

Echo spun around. “What was that?”

Becca stared wide eyed back at her. “I didn’t say anything.” Alie shook her head and gulped.

Before Octavia could say anything, Ontari spoke up. “Maybe because you always minimize her sexuality and practically told the whole school you think people who aren’t straight are weird. It was a low blow Echo.”

Frowning, Echo hung her head. “God I know. Why do I do this?”

“You’re not a bad person! You were just stressed.” Alie assured her.

Sniffling slightly, she looked back up. “You’re right. I’m not a bad person. It was that awful Marie who taunted me into saying it!”

“Echo you can’t be seri-” Octavia started before Echo continued ranting.

“It was her fault. God she ruins everything. If Luna stops being friends with us because of her… she is so DEAD!”

As if on cue, Raven walked out of the cafeteria. All alone. Noticing the group of mean girls in front of her, she put on a brave face. Clarke and Lexa were behind her putting away their trays, and she didn’t want to leave them, but she really didn’t want to have stand here in the presence of her  worst enemies by herself.

Without giving her time to decide what to do, Echo stalked over. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Polis High’s favorite new girl. Where are all your friends? Oh wait… You don’t have any.”

Rolling her eyes, Raven scoffed. “If it isn’t Polis High’s biggest idiot. Did you come up with that insult all by yourself? Your mom must be so proud.”

“I knoooow you didn’t just bring my mother into this.” Echo scowled, stepping forward to push Raven’s shoulder.  “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

Utterly confused, Raven cocked her head. “What are you even say-”

“YO MAMA is SOOOOO ugly that One Direction went the other way when they saw her.”

Trying to hold back her laughter, Raven bit her lip. “Oh are we doing this? What are we twelve?”

“We’re doing this all right!” Echo growled. “Unless you’re too scared.”

“Bring it on.”

“Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!” Alie and Becca started laughing, but immediately stopped when they saw how Raven was looking at them.

“Is that the best you got?” She taunted. “Yo mama’s so stupid she stared at a glass of orange juice for twelve hours because it said “concentrate.”

Octavia couldn’t help but chuckle until she saw both Echo and Raven glaring at her. Putting her hands up in surrender she took a step back, letting Echo try again.

“Yo mama so lazy her patronus is a sloth!”

“Wow Echo I’m impressed.”Raven laughed. “Was that a Harry Potter reference? I didn’t know you could read.” Echo turned bright red, steam nearly coming out of her ears, but before she could say anything Raven piped up. “Yo mama’s so stupid she gave birth to you on I-75 because she heard that’s where accidents happen.”

Hearing muffled laughter behind them, everyone turned to see Clarke and Lexa standing with their arms crossed.

“Everything good here?” Lexa asked between her laughter.

Echo was seething now. “Everything’s great!”

“Really?”Clarke interrupted. “Because it looks like you were just losing a yo mama off. That’s embarrassing.”

“Well I’m not done yet!” She huffed. “Yo mama is so fat. No! She’s so stupid that… that”

“Save yourself a little dignity Echo.” Raven smirked. “Just give up.”

“Never!”

“Fine, you asked for it.” Raven shrugged.  “Yo mama is so unfunny that the only joke she made in her entire life was you!”

For the second time in her entire life, Echo was rendered speechless, and by the same person no less. Trembling with rage, she wanted nothing more than to smack that smug look of Marie’s face. So she did.

In an instant her open palm flew through the air directly aimed at Marie’s cheek, but before it could make contact, her wrist was pulled away. Met with piercing emerald eyes that looked ready to kill, Echo gulped.

Lexa tightened her grip on Echo’s wrist as she stepped between her and Raven. Still glaring, she leaned in, hovering inches away from Echo’s quivering face. “I _know_ that you didn’t mean to do that. Right?” Echo nodded. “Because if you purposefully tried to hurt my cousin, I’d have to hurt  you. Ya got that?” Echo nodded again. “So I suggest you stay far, _far_ away from her. And if I hear about you doing _anything,_ so much as breathing at her, you and me are gonna have a problem. And we really don’t want that, now do we?” Pleased with the fear in Echo’s eyes as she frantically shook her head, Lexa smiled and released her hand. “Good! Now why don’t you run along and do whatever it is stuck up assholes do all day.”

Echo stumbled backwards until Becca and Alie caught her. Completely terrified from the looks that Clarke and Lexa were sending her way she nearly sprinted down the hallway followed by three equally frightened girls.

Octavia however, didn’t move. She stared at longingly at Raven, desperately wanting to say something. But before she could, Clarke and Lexa walked up to her.

“ _You_ are the _last_ person she wants to talk to right now.” Lexa growled.

Clarke wasn’t exactly sure what she meant by that, but she knew she didn’t want anyone messing with Raven. “So stay away from her! If you hurt her…”

“We’ll hurt you!” Lexa finished for her.

Sharing a smile at their cute coupleyness, Clarke and Lexa missed the part where Octavia ran away. But Raven didn’t.

Some part of her wanted nothing more than to see her suffer like she did. Worse than she did. But another part of her still loved her and never wanted to see her get hurt. Torn, Raven slumped to the floor.

 

OoOoOoO

 

When Octavia rounded the corner she swore her heart was going to beat out of her chest. Overwhelmed by emotions, she didn’t know what to think. She was terrified of what Lexa might to do her, but even more afraid to lose Raven. She was distraught, confused, hurt, and above all, a guilt like a giant boulder pressed against her chest making it hard to breathe.  As the guilt flooded through her she wanted nothing more than to fall to the ground and beg for forgiveness. But that guilt was soon replaced by anger as a familiar voice echoed throughout the hallway.

“I HATE THAT FUCKING BITCH!”

Echo’s scream snapped her away from  her wallowing. Pissed, Octavia let out an even louder screech.

Her sudden outburst took everyone, even Echo, by surprise. Feeling eyes on her, Octavia’s face reddened and she dropped her head. She was mad, but she couldn’t let the rest of them know the real root of her anger.

“I know O!” Echo agreed, gently patting her shoulder. “Marie makes me want to scream too. If Lexa hadn’t been there I would have beaten the crap out of her.”

Echo was trying to be nice, but her attempt only made Octavia more furious. “I just can’t stand this!”

Assuming they were still talking about Marie, Becca chimed in. “I don’t know who she thinks she is insulting you like that.”

“She has _no_ class.” Alie agreed.

“Ok come on guys. I know you don’t like her but maybe we should try being nice. Every time you try to be mean to her it doesn’t end well in your favor.” Ontari gently suggested not trying to seem Pro-Marie. “Like we don’t have to be awful to her. It might be easier if we just tolerate her… Make her think we don’t really care about her either way.”

For some reason, Ontari slightly defending Raven, made Octavia even more mad than if she had said something bad about her. She was tired of talking about her. Raven was the last person she wanted to be thinking about, but everywhere she turned Raven seemed to be there.

“Oh don’t tell me you like her now too! Why is everyone so obsessed with her?” Echo huffed.  “All I hear is Marie this! Marie that! Marie’s so pretty! Marie is hot! Marie is so nice! I wish I were Marie!“

“STOP TALKING ABOUT MARIE! GOD!” Octavia shouted grabbing the sides of her head.

“Well I can’t help it if  Marie’s a little as-”

“THAT’S NOT EVEN HER NAME!”

A beat passed. The only sound created by the by the five of them was the loud thumping of Octavia’s heart and her labored breathing, until  Ontari hesitantly spoke up.

“What did you just say?”

If Octavia had noticed the silence that followed, she probably would have recognized the shocked looks on their faces and thought about what she had said. But she was too worked up to think, and continued yelling. “HER STUPID NAME ISN’T MARIE!”

“What do you mean?” Echo pressed for more when she saw that Octavia was to wrapped up in her anger to hold anything back.

“HER NAME’S RAVEN!” Realizing what she just said, Octavia immediately tried to take it back. “Wait. That’s not true. I’m ki-”

“Oh my god Octavia are you being serious right now?.” Ontari interrupted, staring wide eyed at her frenzied friend.

“Didn’t you say you used to go to school with her?”

Avoiding Alie’s inquisitive gaze, Octavia stared at the floor. “No I uh…”

“No I’m 100% sure you said that.” Echo mused, crossing her arms. “What do you know?”

“N-nothing!” Octavia stuttered. “Honestly! I didn’t even know her! She was weird! I avoided her!”

“Mhhhm.” Echo glared at her, studying her face. Octavia shifted uncomfortably under her stare, feeling as though she could see straight into her soul. “What aren’t you telling us O.”

“I’m not lying!”

Echo raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. “Then why did you say her name was Raven?”

“I- I - I didn’t.” Cursing herself for stuttering, Octavia frantically rubbed her hand on her thigh.  

“Sure Jan.” Echo scoffed, narrowing her eyes. “I know you’re lying. What are you so afraid of us knowing? Why are you trying to protect her? She’s our enemy!”

“She’s just had a hard time and I don-” Octavia started before being cut off by Echo per usual.

“Alright stop right there. See what do you mean by that? ‘She’s had a hard time’ You know something! Tell us!” Opening her mouth to speak, Octavia quickly shut it again and shook her head. “O! I swear to god! Do you hate me? Is that it? Do you want me to spend the rest of the school year a laughingstock? Tell us NOW!”

“Okay okay!” Octavia took in a deep breath, bracing herself for yet again telling a secret that wasn’t hers to share. “When I used to go to school with her, her name was Raven. But I think Marie is her middle name. Before I left last year she was getting bullied a lot, so she probably switched schools to get away from it. And I guess she changed her name too.”

Octavia slowly trailed off, not wanting to tell more than she had to, but Echo was having none of it.

“Go on.”

“That’s it.”

“It can’t be. Tell us the rest.”

“That’s the whole story! I swear!” Octavia insisted desperately.

“Bull.” Sneered Echo, growing impatient. “Why was she bullied?”

“I honestly  don’t know!”

“Okay Octavia. This is how it’s going to go down. You clearly know more than you’re telling us.” Echo said with a fake smile. “So you need to tell us. I need blackmail to keep Marie or Raven or whatever the hell her name is in line, and you have some. So you’re gonna tell me. Unless you’d rather be kicked out of the group to go be friends with your old BFF.” Octavia looked up pleadingly, but Echo’s face remained cold. “And I _really_ don’t think you want that. Now SPILL!”

And she did.

 

OoOoOoO

 

“No, actually! You’re my hero!”

After they had told Niylah what happened between Raven and Echo in the hallway, she couldn’t stop gushing about her girlfriend.

“You’re so cool! You’re so badass! MY GIRLFRIENDS A BADASS!”

Several people turned when they heard shouting, making Raven blush, but Niylah continued beaming. Peppering her cheeks with kisses she continued congratulating her until even Clarke got tired of it.

“Okay disgustingly cute is our category. You guys need to find your own!”

Raven smirked. “What? Worried we’ll steal your crown for cutest couple?”

“Impossible!” Lexa fake gasped. “We have loyal subjects! Clexa shippers would unite to take you down.”

“Trouché.” Raven laughed, pulling Niylah closer as they continued walking.

Raven loved this feeling. Walking down the halls laughing with her two best friends and amazing girlfriend, was something completely new to her. And she couldn’t get enough of it.

But alas, it always ended whenever they got to their classes. Raven was in mostly advanced subjects and only had World History with Niylah, so they didn't get to see each other as much as they wanted, but they tried to make the most of every second they had together, and every goodbye.

Finally reaching the door, Raven  pulled her in for a chaste kiss. “I’ll miss you.”

Clarke and Lexa rolled their eyes, but they were both secretly thrilled that Raven seemed so happy.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow.” Niylah cooed, before blowing a kiss and disappearing into the sea of bodies flowing down the hallway.

Luckily, class flew by which meant they could see eachother again. Raven nearly skipped out of the classroom, eager to get to World History. But unbeknownst to her, Octavia had been waiting outside the classroom. Once she saw a familiar  ponytail exit the room, Octavia quickly followed her.

“Raven!”

Hearing her name, Raven turned around only to scowl at the sight of Octavia. “What do you want?”

Octavia was slightly hurt by the harshness of her tone, but didn’t forget what she came to say. “Listen I just wanted to say I-”

“No.” Raven spat stepping away to put space between them. “I don’t care what you have to say. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this. Leave. Me. Alone!”

Before she could respond, Raven had turned and was barreling down the hallway. Still wanting to warn her, Octavia called out as loud as she could. “I’m sorry!”

Raven heard her, but chose to ignore it and kept walking. The next period started in a few minutes, but since Octavia would be in that class, Raven decided to take a detour at her locker to get away from her.

It was out of her way and took a little while to get there, but once she did, Raven was glad she decided to stop by. Her textbooks were getting heavy and she desperately needed to take them out of her backpack.

After struggling with her combination for a minute she flung open the locker. Preoccupied with getting her books out, she missed a piece of paper fluttering to the ground. Once her books were safely put away she went to leave, but as she turned around, a flash of pink caught her eye. Noticing the paper sitting on the ground at her feet, Raven furrowed her eyebrows. Tentatively she reached down to pick it up, turning it over twice before opening the seal. As  her eyes darted across the page following words written in disgustingly cute handwriting, Raven’s heart stopped. She read it over, twice, three times. Each time the words sank in even more.

Breathing rapidly, Raven stared down in horror. Crumpling the note into a ball, she let it drop to the ground before sliding down against the lockers and burying her face in her hands, the words burned into her memory.

 

_We know your_ **_real_ ** _secret…_

_Meet us behind the cafeteria after school, or else..._

_See you there Marie... or should we call you_ **_Raven_ **

_XOXO_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here's chapter 5...  
> So Octavia has a bad habit of letting Raven's secrets get out when she's overwhelmed...  
> Yeah I know the yo mama thing is kind of weird, but I wanted Raven to stick it to Echo one last time before shit hits the fan  
> I didn't really have time to edit it since I wanted to upload it before I go on a trip this weekend, so sorry for any errors!  
> I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the comments and kudos!


	6. Chapter 6

Raven couldn’t concentrate. For the second time in less than a year, she felt her whole world start to crumble. Everything was changing so fast. She just wanted a normal year. A normal life. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently.

As the halls started to empty and everything quieted down, the only sound remaining was Raven’s ragged breathing. Her mind was racing, her heart pounding, and she just wanted everything to stop. Just for one moment for there to be quiet, calm. Just one moment where she could forget everything that happened.

Raven didn’t even realize she was crying until someone stopped in front of her, voice thick with concern.

“Oh shit…. Are you okay?”

Not looking up, Raven shook her head. “I’m fine. Just fine.”

“Well you don’t look fine.”

About to snap at the strange voice,  Raven wiped her eyes scowling. But her face instantly softened when she saw the goddess in front of her. Long dirty blonde hair framed her amazing cheekbones, and even though her face was furrowed with concern, Raven could tell she was gorgeous. Plus she looked like a bonafide badass. Black leather jacket, tight _tight_ black jeans, and a backwards snapback.

Realizing she had been staring longer than a normal person would, Raven put her head down again. “Well I am. And shouldn’t you be in class?”

The blonde chuckled softly before sliding down the locker and sitting next to her. “Shouldn’t you?”

Something about this girl made Raven really nervous all of the sudden. Blushing furiously, she buried her face in her hands. “I don’t feel like going.”

“Why not?”

Looking up briefly,  Raven furrowed her eyebrows. “Ummmm no offense, but I don’t really know you. Why would I tell you?”

“Well…” she smiled offering her hand. “I’m Anya.”

Reluctantly accepting, Raven gave a small smile. “Marie.”

“So Marie, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing really, just drama. So much drama.” Raven sighed, tilting her head back against the locker.

“I feel that.” Anya agreed. “High school’s tough, but it gets better. Trust me I know. Plus it doesn’t hurt that I’ll be out of here for good in the spring.”

“Wait are you a senior?”

“Yeah? Why?” Anya chuckled. “You didn’t really think I was a freshman did you?”

Quick to explain, Raven felt her cheeks begin to flush. “No! You’re definitely not a freshman! I mean just look at you… You’re… you’re...”

“Gorgeous? Amazing? Sexy as hell?” Laughing at Raven’s blush, Anya put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “I’m kidding.”

“No no I got that.” Raven mumbled, her face still reddening. “I just.. You aren’t in any of my classes. So I didn’t really know.”

“Well I’m not that into school. I already have a scholarship to play soccer at Stanford.”

“Stanford? Are you kidding?” Raven stared wide eyed at the girl next to her.  “I would die if I got in there!”

“Well you could…”

Hanging her head once again, Raven sighed. “That would never happen. I’m not good enough.”

Suddenly remembering the state she found the girl in, Anya frowned. “Hey don’t say that! They’d be lucky to have you!”

“They wouldn’t want me. No one wants me.”

Hearing the hurt in her voice, Anya wanted nothing more than to give this girl a hug. “I-is that why you’re so upset?”

“Something like that.”

Before she could elaborate, a classroom door swung open. Out stepped a teacher who looked like she had somewhere to be, and set off speed walking down the hall. When she saw the two girls sitting on the floor, she frowned.  “Why aren’t you in class?”

“Ummm… we…” Anya started, desperately willing her mind to come up with a lie.

But when the teacher saw Raven’s red eyes, her face softened. “Well I’m late to a meeting so it’s your lucky day. No detention for you. But get to class!”

Utterly relieved, Anya and Raven shared a look before calling out at the retreating figure. “We’re on our way! Thank you!”

Anya was the first to stand, quickly offering a hand to Raven and pulling her up. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

She still wasn’t fine, but Raven wasn’t about to let anyone know why. Shrugging, she picked up her backpack, making sure to stuff the note into a pocket before Anya could see it. “Yeah I’ll be fine.”

“Are you positive? You look like you need a hug?”

Raven looked up to see Anya studying her with her head cocked. A hug sounded amazing right now. But she couldn’t… Could she?

“Come ooooon. You know you want to.” Opening her arms Anya stepped forward slightly. “Let me give you a hug. I give really good hugs.”

Shaking her head with a small smile, Raven relented. The moment Anya’s arms wrapped around her, she melted into the embrace. Anya was right, she did give really good hugs. Raven had never felt so safe. She was just the right size to be held in Anya’s strong arms. With her head resting on Anya’s shoulder, Raven had to fight the urge to break down.

Too soon, Anya pulled back to look into Raven’s eyes. “Better?”

Blinking back tears, Raven sniffled. “Better.”

Anya smiled back and pulled her in for another quick hug. “If you ever need another hug, or just want to talk, I’m here. But now we gotta go to class.”

As Raven watched the tall blonde walk away, a small smiled formed on her lips. “Hey Anya?”

“Yeah?” Anya instantly spun around, she seemed ready to run back and tackle her with a hug if she asked for it.

“Thanks.”

Anya grinned. “Anytime.”

 

OoOoOoO

 

All throughout Physics, Raven couldn’t concentrate. In World History, she was asked to leave until she stopped bouncing her knee. And in Literature, the last class of the day, the waiting became unbearable.

The moment class ended she bolted for the door, Clarke hot on her heels.

“Marie where are you going?”

“Nowhere.”

“Marie stop!” Slightly annoyed that Raven had the habit of storming out without telling anyone anything, Clarke grabbed her hand pulling her back. “What is going on with you?”

“I said NOTHING!” Raven snapped.

“Come on. Nobody’s buying that. Talk to me!” Clarke pleaded, growing concerned. “You can tell me.”

Breathing in to calm herself down, Raven brushed her hand through her hair. “Clarke I’m fine. I promise. I am A-okay. But even if I wasn’t it’s none of your business. So please just leave me alone.”

Not waiting to hear whatever it was Clarke would try to do to help, Raven stormed off down the hallway. Rather than follow her, Clarke ran off to find her girlfriend.  If anyone could talk some sense into the stubborn Latina, it was Lexa.

The closer she got to the cafeteria the more Raven considered just running away and changing schools again. With one final burst of courage she found the back exit and marched outside.

Expecting to see Echo and her minions, she was surprised to find nothing. But that only made her more nervous. After 10 minutes of waiting, Raven started pacing back and forth. _What if they decided to tell everyone anyway? What if they were going to show up with the entire school and expose her?_ Getting more and more anxious, she was about to call it quits and go home when the door opened with a bang.

Almost for dramatic effect, Echo stood in the doorway with her arms crossed, flanked by Becca and Alie with Ontari and Finn behind them. But not Octavia. She was nowhere to be seen.

Raven found that both a relief and unsettling at the same time. _If Octavia didn’t tell them,_ _maybe they don’t actually know anything._ But then again, maybe she just couldn’t bare to look her ex-best friend in they eye after betraying her for the second time in less than a year.

They stood in silence for a moment, neither side saying anything. Raven was beginning to wish she was in a different place. The back hallway was secluded and no one  would even be able to hear if she had to scream for help. Noticing her panic, Echo smirked, and stepped forward.

“What do you want from me?” Raven spat trying to seem unintimidated.

Holding up a finger, Echo shook her head with a sinister smile. “Uh uh uh… I don’t think you get how this works. See the people who know the secrets get to talk. So that means you have to listen.  ¿Comprendes?”

Gritting her teeth, Raven nodded.  

“Good.”

Raven rolled her eyes at the smug look on Echo’s face, but decided against responding with a snarky comeback. If Echo really did know something, angering her probably wasn’t a good idea.

“Now we can get down to business. So you see, we know some things about you… Raven. Things that I’m guessing you probably don’t want the whole school to know.” Smiling as Raven’s face paled, Echo continued. “Now I _could_ just tell everyone right now... You _have_ been quite rude to me... But what’s the fun in that? It’d be over to quick.”

Unable to hold it back anymore Raven nearly screamed. “You’re a psychopath! Who does that! I didn’t even do anything remotely like this to you!”

“Well you know what they say.” Echo chuckled maliciously. “I put the hot in psychotic.”

“I don’t think you should be proud of that.” Raven muttered under her breath.

“Well anyway.” Echo continued choosing to ignore her comment. “Today is your lucky day. I’m feeling kind, so I’ve come up with a compromise. If you do us a favor… we’ll do you a favor and not tell anyone your little secret.”

“And if I say no?” Raven challenged.

“Then we’ll tell everyone. The entire school. Are you really not getting this?” Echo asked genuinely shocked.

“And people say she’s smart.” Becca tried to whisper, but even Raven could hear her across the room.

The responding chuckes only angered her even more. Exasperated, Raven started pacing again. “That’s not a compromise! That’s blackmail!”

Echo shrugged. “Call it what you want, but it’s a win - win situation. We both get something out of it.”

“What do you want?” Raven asked through clenched teeth.

Finn smirked and took off his backpack. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“So rumor has it you’re a genius or something. Is that true?” Rolling her eyes, Raven shrugged. Not pleased with her response, Echo grew impatient. “Answer me!” She demanded.

“I do okay.”

“Someone’s being modest.” Echo tutted flashing her creepy smile again. “You’re in all honors classes. Which is only going to make this easier for you.”

“Make what easier?” Raven asked hesitantly, afraid to hear the answer.

Holding out her hand to Finn, who put a large stack of papers in it, Echo stepped forward and threw them at Raven. “You’re gonna want to pick those up .” She sneered. “As much as we love school. We hate doing homework. But since you owe us a favor you’re going to take care of that for us. For the rest of the year. Any homework we don’t feel like doing… we’ll just give it to you. And since you’re so smart it’ll be easy for you. So we expect A’s.”

Hunched over the floor picking up the papers, Raven muttered to herself.  “Like that’ll work.”

“What did you just say?” Echo asked, face frozen in a permanent scowl.

“I _said_ that no one will believe pretty boy over here could get an A on anything.” Raven growled standing back up.

Seeing the glare she was receiving, Raven suddenly wished she hadn’t said that, but a moment later Echo was sneering again. “See you _are_ smart. This will work out fine. Now I have a paper due on Friday about the Russian revolution, 1,000 words so get to it. Alie has some physics thing. Finn has math homework. Becca and Ontari have a spanish project, but since you’re in the same class that shouldn’t be too hard. Oh! And I have Latin homework too.”

“I don’t even take Latin.” Raven protested.

“Well then you’d better learn.” Echo replied coldly. “Make sure you get each of us our assignments before the class starts or else we’ll introduce ‘Raven’ to the school.”

“Yeah I get it. “Raven huffed.

“Perfect! We’ll see you around _Raven_.”

It took all of her inner strength, but somehow she restrained herself from smacking the smug look off of Echo’s face. Collecting herself, Raven pushed through the threatening group and ran out the door. Not wanting to let them see her cry, she made a beeline for her locker.

 

OoOoOoO

 

Finally away from the horror that is Echo, Raven felt a wave of relief rush over her. A rush of relief, and tears. No not tears. She wasn’t going to let Echo make her cry. Blinking rapidly to clear her eyes, she quickly weaved between the tables and out the door, into the hallway.   

Since it was after school, barely anyone was still around  (luckily for Raven). By the time she reached her locker, all of her sadness and fear was gone. And in its place stood raw unbridled rage. In a mad haze she pulled the pink note that ruined her day out of her pocket and ripped it to shreds, throwing it in the general direction of a garbage can.

Letting out an exasperated scream, Raven slammed her fist into the wall. Wincing at the sudden pain that flowed through her wrist, she calmed down for a minute until a familiar voice hesitantly called her name. Turning to see tear brimmed blue eyes, Raven screamed again and began hammering her hands into her locker.

“Raven stop it!”

Slightly shocked at the concern in her voice, Raven let her arms fall to the side. “ Why? It’s not like you even care about me.”

“Of course I do!” Hurt that she would even think that, Octavia’s first reaction was to hug her best friend. _Ex Best friend._ “How could you say that? I care about you! I _do._ ”

“How could _I_ say that? Are you fucking kidding me?” Getting angry again, Raven clenched her fists in an effort to stop herself from lashing out. “When have you ever given me a reason to believe that you care about me?!”

“We were best friends for years! I’ll always care about you!”

“Key word there is _were.”_ Raven spat.

“Raven…”

“No! I don’t wanna hear it! You know what? You were a horrible best friend! Best friends don’t just tell everyone a secret because they get uncomfortable. You didn’t have to love me back! It’s not like I even expected you would.” Octavia’s heart sunk at that. “But you didn’t have to ruin my life! You didn’t have to tell everyone!”

“That’s not what hap-”

“And honestly I don’t know why I thought you’d be any better now. You didn’t even have to pretend to be my friend before outing me to the school again. But once again I got my hopes up.”

“Raven I can expl-”

“I only have one question though. What made you do it this time? Did Echo think you liked me? Because we all know how you react when people think you might be gay.”

“I didn-”

“Did you do it to get on Echo’s goodside? Are you really that desperate to be liked? You’d ruin someone else’s life just to get ahead in your own? Are you really that shallow!?”

“Rae…”

“Or do you just hate me? Is that it? You can’t stand seeing me be happy with my girlfriend? With my friends? Is that it?

“RAVEN!” Octavia didn’t mean to shout, it just happened. Raven stared back at her, shocked at her sudden change in demeanor.  “ Just listen!” Expecting her to fight back or say something, Octavia waited a moment. Finally sure she wouldn’t be interrupted, she took a deep breath. “I don’t know what they told you… But they don’t know about your secret. I would never do that to you!” Getting a glare from Raven, she realized her mistake. “I mean I wouldn’t do that to you again… I swear they don’t know anything! I- I- I  just got flustered… And I ended up telling them your real name. But I didn’t say anything else!”

Octavia felt terrible when she saw the look on Raven’s face. She had never seen her look so defeated. “They don’t know! I promise! You have to believe me!”

“Why on _earth_ would I believe anything you say anymore?”  

“Because… Because....”

“Because nothing! So now _once_ again thanks to _you_ everything’s gone to shit. They’re blackmailing me you know!” Raven huffed, waving the thick stack of papers in the air. “ They’re threatening to tell the whole school if I don’t do everything they say! Now I’m their personal homework slave! And there’s nothing I can do about it!”

Octavia was silenced for a moment. “Raven… I had no idea!”

“Sure you didn’t!” Raven sneered. “You probably gave them the idea!”

“I didn’t!” Octavia protested, grabbing a hold of the papers. “Look I don’t know how to convince you I didn’t tell them! But I’ll do the work for you!”

Raven tried to pull away, but Octavia held fast. “No! I don’t want another thing for you to hold over my head!”

“Raven come on…”

Octavia tried to hold on, but when Raven jerked back, she had to let go. Raven hadn’t been expecting her to give up, so the sudden force threw her off balance. Octavia reached out to grab her hand, but before she could, Raven and the papers fell to the floor.

Landing with a thump, Raven groaned. Ignoring the hand that Octavia offered, she began picking up the scattered papers. Octavia tried to help with that, but Raven just pushed her away again.

Growing slightly agitated, Octavia stood back up, crossing her arms. “I’m just trying to help!”

Before she could continue, Lexa turned around the corner carrying her volleyball bag. “Raven?” Stopping suddenly to take in the scene before her, Lexa frowned. “ What’s going on here?”

Remembering just how terrifying Lexa could be when she wanted to, Octavia stepped back. “Nothing. We just…. I just… it was an accident.”

Seeing Raven’s pissed off expression, Lexa knew something was up. Walking over Raven, she had Octavia pushed against the lockers in a flash. “No. The only accident you made was not running away when you had the chance. Don’t you remember what I told Echo. The same applies to you!” Looking back to Raven, she was confused to see her looking more upset. “Rae are you okay?”

Raven shook her head, brushing her hands over eyes. “I’m fine, Lex. Just… Just let her go.”

“Fine.” Leca growled, pushing Octavia harder, trapping her throat between her forearm and the locker. “But only when she agrees to leave you alone.”

Nodding frantically, Octavia clawed at Lexa’s arm, desperately needing to breathe. Lexa reluctantly let get, letting her drop to the floor to land on her knees Octavia wasted no time scrambling away from Lexa’s threatening stance, but before leaving, she turned back to Raven. “You have to believe me. They don’t know. I promise.”

Not waiting to see if they would do anything else, she took off down the hall, leaving a seething Lexa and sighing Raven.

“Alright what was that about? What’s up with you two?”

Raven stared back up at her blankly. How could she tell her cousin that she was a helpless mess who was still in love with the person who broke her heart. How could she explain to someone so sickeningly in love with someone else that love is a lie and only ends in heartbreak. How could she tell anyone that she couldn’t get over the one person who clearly didn’t love her back.

“It’s really nothing.”

“It’s clearly not nothing.” Lexa pushed, not letting it go.

Fighting back the urge to break down, Raven took a deep breath. “I’m just… I don’t get why she keeps doing this to me.”

“Who knows?” Lexa sighed, kneeling down next to her. “But the one thing I do know is that she doesn’t deserve you. Raven you’re fucking amazing you know that? She doesn’t deserve to have any time spent crying over her. You’re better than that. I know that. Clarke knows that. Niylah knows that. We all love you. Unlike her and her fake friends you have real people who love you. And we don’t like seeing you get hurt. So if she ever bothers you again you have to tell me. I’m not kidding. I will drag a bitch for you.”  

Tearing up a bit, Raven pulled Lexa down into a hug. “What did I do to deserve you guys?”

Lexa smiled. “Well I don’t know about them… But I was forced into this. Something about a family obligation contract. Remind me to read the fine print next time.”

“Wow thanks. Way to ruin the moment.” For someone who could be so supportive and loving, Lexa had also mastered a dry sense of humor, that Raven usually appreciated, but not today.

“That’s my job.”

Shaking her head, Raven suppressed a smile and started picking up the papers again. Eager to help, Lexa followed suit. Once they were all collected, Lexa helped her up before picking up her own backpack. “Come on let’s go home. It looks like you’ve got a lot of work to do.”

Not responding, Raven put her head down, and started walking to the car. With a sigh, she dumped all of her blackmail in the backseat trying to ignore the ache in her heart.

_Thanks a lot Octavia._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's chapter 6! Finally! Sorry it took so long but I had a lot of work to do at school, so I didn't really get to edit this so excuse any mistakes or if it's not that great. But I'll hopefully update twice next week though  
> So since there were two big confrontations I had to throw in some Ranya fluff to even it out... I hope you like it  
> I know things are looking down for my sweet baby Raven but I promise they will get better... eventually...
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for all the comments and kudos! You inspire me!  
> Also shameless self promotion: I made two new oneshot collections (one's Octaven but the other is Clextaven) ... so if you feel so inclined... check 'em out
> 
> I love you all! Happy Friday the 13th! Don't get murdered!


	7. Chapter 7

“RAVEEEEN! It’s dinner time!”

Choosing to ignore her Aunt, Raven got up to shut her door before returning to her desk. She was well aware of what time it was.  7:24. 4 hours and nine minutes since her life was almost ruined once again. And now, she’s spent the last 2 hours and 37 minutes being their personal homework slave. _At least there’s only 276 days until summer_.  Not that anyone’s counting.

The work wasn’t that difficult, like Echo said, it should be a breeze for her, but the fact that she was being forced into it, made Raven’s blood boil. No one could treat her like this and get away with it. Well… No one could treat the old Raven like this, but ever since Octavia told everyone her secret, anyone could walk all over her.

Trying to think about anything other than what she went through, Raven turned back to the assignments. She breezed through the first part of it all pretty quickly, but the Latin was impossible. _Who even speaks Latin anymore?_ She had spent the past hour trying to understand the basics of the dead language before even starting on the homework, which was even more confusing. And now, ready to give up, Raven threw herself onto her bed.

So caught up in her thoughts and thinking of any possible way she could get out of Echo’s clutches, Raven didn’t hear a soft knock on the door followed by Lexa calling her name. Hearing no response Lexa silently opened the door and peeked her head in. When she saw Raven sprawled out with her face buried in a pillow a frown formed on her face.

Wanting to make herself known she opened the door entirely, letting it hit the wall, before calling out again. “Rae?”

Not wanting to seem upset, Raven instantly sat up. “Yeah?”

“Dinners ready.” Lexa started, studying her cousin carefully as she got up. “Are you okay?”

“What? Yeah of course. Why wouldn't I be?” Raven responded just a little too quickly.

“I don’t know. You just seem a little upset.”

“I’m fine. What would I even have to be upset about?”

Lexa could almost hear the lies in her voice. And that’s saying something. When she wanted to, Raven could be a master of deception. She could make lies seem more real than the truth. But no one knew her better than Lexa, she could always tell when something wasn’t quite right (except for the fact that she had no idea about her “special friend” for nearly 18 years) Wanting to ease her suffering, she sat down next to her.  “Is this about what happened with Octavia today?”

Realizing that she had just been given a way to avoid the real problem, Raven relaxed slightly. “Ugghhh yeah. How’d you know?”

“You looked kinda sad. So I just assumed…” Trailing off, Lexa expected Raven to say something, but she just remained silent.  “What exactly happened before I showed up?”

“She’s just a jerk.” Raven sighed. “A jerk who can’t take a message. But I think she’ll leave me alone now that you probably scared her off.”

Feeling slightly proud, Lexa smiled. “Good. She should. I don’t want her to mess with you again. I’ll do more than just threaten her if she hurts you.”

“I know you will Lex. But you don’t have to. Really I’m fine. I’m already starting to get over her.” Raven insisted. “I AM!” she emphasized after seeing the look Lexa gave her.

“If you say so.” Lexa smirked knowingly. “I 100% support you being over her, but it honestly kind of seems like you’re not.”

Groaning, Raven slumped back onto the bed, legs still hanging off the side. “I know. It’s stupid. I _need_ to get over her. I _want_ to get over her. It’s just…. Just so hard. She was my best friend.”

Following in her footsteps, Lexa also laid down. “ _Ex_ -best friend. And there’s a reason you stopped being friends. You don’t have to hate her, even though I would totally understand if you did. But you don’t have to tolerate her either. It’s okay to move on.”

Rather than reassure her, Lexa’s advice only started to make all her unresolved feelings resurface. Turning her head away from Lexa’s view, Raven blinked away the tears that were ready to start streaming down her face. “I… I loved her.”

“I know you did.” Lexa said softly, reaching down to hold her hand. “And that’s why it hurts so much. But some people are just toxic in our lives and you don’t need any of that. It’s okay to cut them out.”

Knowing her voice would crack and show how near crying she truly was, Raven just nodded in response before getting up and walking to the bathroom. Lexa sat up, brow furrowed in confusion. “Are you gonna come to dinner?”

“Uhh yeah.” Raven nearly whispered trying to hide the hoarseness of her voice. “I just need to go to the bathroom first.”

“Oh okay. Good. I completed my mission. My mom will be proud.” “Lexa joked, standing with a smile.

Giving a soft chuckle in response, Raven turned back around and shut the door. Once she was alone, her back against the door, she slowly slid down to the floor, hugging her knees. She was exhausted. Life was exhausting. Being blackmailed? Exhausting. Harboring so much anger and pent up emotion because of Octavia? Exhausting. It was all exhausting.

Moving over to the mirror, she could see just how evident it was on her face. Dark bags were growing under eyes, and the usually sparkling bronzeish orbs just looked like dull brown blobs. Not wanting to even look at her own reflection, Raven quickly splashed water onto her face. The cold wave made her shiver but was quickly remedied by pushing a fluffy towel against her skin. Taking a minute to inhale the sweet lavender, Raven reminded herself to thank her aunt for getting her favorite fabric softener.

Face still enveloped by the warm cloth, Raven was suddenly jolted out of her day dream by the sound of something dropping and Lexa swearing under her breath. Quickly flushing the toilet to make it seem like she hadn’t just spent the last few minutes wallowing in her own sorrow, Raven opened the door to see Lexa on her knees picking up scattered books. Her Latin books.

Realizing what she might uncover, Raven quickly spoke up.  “What happened here?”

“What?” Lexa looked up in fear, cheeks tinted slightly pink. “Oh this? I just knocked your books over when I was spinning in your chair.”

“Wow Lexa.” Raven laughed kneeling down to help her. “What are you six?”

Lexa just mumbled in response, blushing a little more. But as she set the heavy stack of textbooks down on her desk, she frowned. “Since when do you take Latin?”

“Oh! Uummm I was thinking about taking it as an elective. Ya know? Get to learn the language for when I go to ummm… um Rome. “ Raven lied, hoping Lexa wouldn’t notice how much she was twiddling her thumbs.

Lexa narrowed her eyes. “You want to add _another_ course to your already super hard class load so you can learn how to speak a _dead language_ that no one even speaks in Rome?” Crossing her arms, Lexa gave her signature “I call bullshit” look.  

“Uhhhhhh. Yeah?” Raven tried once again before dropping her head in defeat.

“What’s the real reason?”

“Well…” Raven started, trying to buy more time to think of a lie. “Niylah takes Latin and she said she was really bad at it and asked if I understood it. And I lied because I wanted to help her even though I actually don’t know how to do it, so I’ve been studying all these textbooks so I can teach her. But I didn’t want to tell you because then you’d-”

“Realize how whipped you are?” Lexa finished for her with a grin.

“Yeah… that…” Raven was glad Lexa was to busy laughing to notice how relieved she looked.

“That is the saddest but cutest thing I’ve ever heard! You _liiiiiiike_ her! You _like_ like her!”

“Shut up.” Raven whined, throwing a pillow at her laughing cousin.

It’s not that she didn’t like Niylah, she really did. She just didn’t really see much of a future with her. She just didn’t love her. But that wasn’t Niylah’s fault. Raven had vowed not to let herself fall in love with anyone until they knew the real her. All of her. And she wasn’t about to tell Niylah that.

Once again, Lexa brought her out of her thoughts by pulling her onto the floor and putting her in a headlock. Struggling to escape, Raven grabbed the pillow again and swung wildly at her attacker. Not even a minute later the two of them were jumping around the room launching pillows at each other as if they were kids again, until Indra yelled up the stairs.

“LEXA! I sent you up to get her 10 minutes ago! We’re eating without you!”  

Sharing a look, Lexa put up her hands in surrender before falling onto the bed again. Laughing, Raven fell on top of her. They stayed like that for a minute to catch their breath, before Lexa finally pushed her off and headed for the door.

Raven followed behind her feeling slightly guilty. It had felt so good when she finally shared her secret with Lexa, and now here she was again hiding another one from her.

 

OoOoOoO

 

The next day at school, Raven couldn’t even bring herself to look Octavia in the eyes. When she went to find Echo behind the cafeteria before classes started, she wasn’t at all surprised to see Octavia back at her side. Even after she claimed she didn’t know about the whole ordeal, Raven didn’t believe her. And now here she was to reap in the benefits of blackmail just like the rest of them.

“It’s about time you showed up.” Echo snapped, clearly annoyed. “Class starts in five minutes and I don’t like to be kept waiting.”

“Yeah yeah whatever.” Raven sighed, swinging her backpack off her shoulder to take out the assignments. “Just be happy I did your stupid work.”

“I think you need an attitude adjustment _Marie_ .” Echo snarled walking closer. “We all know _Raven_ wouldn’t dare to talk to me like that.”

Glaring up at her, Raven bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from saying anything.

“Thank you!” Echo cooed in a disgustingly sweet voice as she plucked the papers from Raven’s hand. “And here are today’s assignments.”

Raven wanted to scream when Echo dropped a new stack of work into her arms before smirking and walking off. Following behind her, Finn, Ontari, Becca and Alie, all did the same, walking back to the school.

And then there was just Octavia.

“Raven you don’t have to do this. I’m telling you they know nothing.”

“Just give me your homework and get it over with.” Raven growled, glaring at her.

“No! I’m not blackmailing you Raven. I want to help! Let me do the work for you! You can’t do it alone! ” Octavia begged, stepping forward.  

“I don’t need your help!” Raven snapped, turning to walk out the door. “I can do it all  myself.”

And she did. For two whole weeks.

 

OoOoOoO

 

But after two weeks of doing the homework of six people, Raven began to crack.

Maya was the first to notice. She would have had to be blind to miss it. It started in math class when she nearly fell asleep during a quiz, but luckily Maya noticed and woke her up. After that she started to see dark circles under her eyes every day, and she spoke up in class less. Maya knew it was serious when Raven didn’t even correct the teacher when he said that the derivative of sin(x) was -cos(x). That’s when she told Clarke. She would have told Lexa, but she was still slightly scared of her and didn’t want to risk upsetting her.

And then Clarke started noticing things too. Raven never talked on their rides to and from school anymore. She was always doing homework whenever Clarke was visiting Lexa. And she even missed their traditional Friday Movie Nights. Not that anyone was complaining, Clarke definitely wouldn’t miss Raven’s snarky comments about how cliche the Rom-Coms were. But it was sad when she wasn’t there to beg to watch a Sci-Fi movie only to tear it apart for scientific inaccuracies. But it wasn’t until she declined pizza because she was too busy studying that Clarke got worried enough to tell Lexa.

When Clarke told Lexa, she immediately confronted her cousin only to be completely shut out. So all she could do was watch and try to make sure she took care of herself. And watch she did.

During lunch one Friday, Lexa noticed that she wasn’t eating anything. She didn’t even get a tray. Instead, she had her Latin textbook open and was scouring the pages while Niylah sat next to her talking about something.

Frowning, Lexa reached across the table and slammed the book shut, making Raven jump. “What the hell? I was reading that!”

“Why aren't you eating anything?” Lexa asked, holding the book away from Raven as she reached for it.

After a minute Raven gave up and shrugged. “I’m not hungry. Can I _please_ have my book back?”

“No, not until you eat. You need food.”

Letting out an exasperated breath, Raven glared at her. “I don’t have any money.”

“Well lucky you, I have extra.” Clarke added cheerily, wanting to help Lexa in whatever it was she was doing.

Receiving a “don’t test me” look from Lexa, and a warm smile from Clarke, Raven begrudgingly accepted the bill and got up.

Once she was out of earshot, Lexa turned to Niylah with a threatening glare. “Alright listen up Ni. You’ve got to lay off with asking Marie for help with Latin, she’s already under a lot of stress with school and she doesn’t need the added pressure of learning an entirely new language for you.”

Utterly confused, Niylah tilted her head. “What are you talking about?”

Trying to make it as clear as possible, Lexa sighed. “Look, Raven told me about how she’s learning Latin to help you since you’re not good at it. And Raven’s a sweet person who would do that kind of thing, but you can’t take advantage her like this.”  

“I honestly have no idea why she would say that. I don’t even take Latin. I take French.” Niylah said panickedly, not wanting to anger Lexa.

“Then why would she say  you did?” Lexa asked.

It was sort of an open question to the entire table, but more of a question for herself. Either way no one responded.

Meanwhile across the cafeteria, Raven was piling up a tray with spaghetti. It was the only food she trusted the cafeteria ladies to not mess up. Even Raven herself couldn’t mess up spaghetti. Once she had enough pasta and garlic bread as well a small salad to appease Lexa, she started walking back to the table.

Raven tells herself that she doesn’t get food because she has to spend lunch working on all the assignments she’s given. But if she was being completely honest, it’s also because getting up to get food involves walking by Echo’s table. And ever since Echo started blackmailing her, she couldn’t bear walking by their table. She couldn’t take the smug look on her face, and the knowing stares of the rest of them. She also couldn’t stand to look in the general direction of Octavia. So as she walked by, she averted her gaze, looking anywhere but at them.

That was her first mistake.

Just as she had almost walked past them completely, she heard Echo call her name, but chose to keep walking.

That was her second mistake.

The next she knew, Raven was tripping over an outstretched foot. No not tripping. She was kicked. A foot deliberately swept the back of her leg forward, making her fall back. As she fell to the floor, time seemed to move in slow motion. After she felt her head hit the hard concrete, her eyes snapped shut in pain. But when she opened them again she could see sauce covered spaghetti hurtling toward her face. It landed with a splat, completely covering her upper body and face, leaving her stunned.

For a moment she heard nothing, even though the entire room was talking, but Echo’s ear piercing screeching laugh soon brought her around again. Looking up she saw Echo standing over her, not even trying to control her laughter.

As Echo continued to laugh, Raven tried to stand up, only to feel a sharp pain in her head, and lie back down. Noticing this, Echo smirked. “Here let me help you up.”

Raven didn’t take her hand, but before she could even protest, she was pulled up so that she was sitting. Confused when Echo let go of her hand, Raven looked up, just in time to see two stream of chocolate milk aimed directly at her face. Still a little disoriented she didn’t have the time or energy to move out of the way or even just put her hands up to protect her face. Met with no resistance, Echo cackled as she continued to pour the milk all over Raven’s head. It wasn’t until hands shot out  and forcibly pushed her off that she stopped.

“Echo! What the HELL?”

Raven cracked open her eyes. Through drizzles of the chocolatey liquid dripping down her face she could make out the familiar form of Luna standing protectively between her and Echo. With another push she had Echo stumbling  backwards, further away from Raven. Turning around she squatted down, grabbed both of Raven’s hands, and gently pulled her to her feet.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

Raven nodded slightly, her head moving slowly, but before she could say anything a voice boomed out silencing the entire lunch room. “BACK THE FUCK OFF ECHO!”

Relieved to hear her cousin’s voice, Raven relaxed slightly, but due to her dizziness, that only made her start to fall over. Luckily, Luna was there to catch her. She threw her arm around the wobbling girl, gently squeezing it as she held her steady, which only made Raven lean into her further. Feeling secure in the taller girl’s embrace, Raven turned back to the scene in front of her only to be met by an angry look that Echo was sending her.

Lexa was by her side in a minute, not even noticing the tall brunette supporting her. Concerned, she took Raven’s face in her hands turning it side to side and looking for any bleeding. “Raven! Are you okay?”

Wincing at the sudden loudness in her face, Raven  remembered what Echo held over her, and immediately tried to calm Lexa down. Pulling her head away from Lexa’s prying hands, she groaned. “I’m fine Lexa. It was an accident. Really.”

“No fucking way.” Lexa growled pointing at Echo. “Did she trip you?”

Echo scoffed. “Why would I even do that?” But seeing the murderous look in Lexa’s eyes, she suddenly grew nervous. “Plus you heard her, it was an accident. Tell her Marie.”

“It _really_ was an accident Lex.” Raven insisted in a small voice, staring at the floor.

“I don’t believe you.” Lexa roared turning to Echo once again.

“Well you should.” Echo said matter of factly, looking quite smug at the effect she had over Raven.

That smug look was gone in an instant when Lexa stepped forward, standing inches away from her with a piercing glare. Echo backed up slowly. “Hey calm down now. It really was an accident.”

But Lexa was too angry to care. Fueled by rage she pulled back her arm and swung her fist at Echo’s face. It hit her directly on the side of the cheek, knocking her to the floor.  Lexa’s aim always was impeccable.  Echo groaned in pain, but her cries were drowned out by Raven.

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?” Breaking free from Luna, Raven dropped to her knees next to Echo. Looking up to Lexa with fear in her eyes, tears started streaming down her face. “No no NO! What did you do? She’s gonna kill me”

Coming too at the feeling of a presence next to her, Echo let go of her cheek. Raven winced. That was definitely going to be a black eye. Scowling she grabbed Raven’s collar, and hissed. “On Monday, everyone is gonna find out who you really are.”

Raven only started crying harder at that. Thinking that Echo had done something else to hurt her cousin, Lexa knelt down and grabbed Echo’s own collar, freeing Raven from her claws. Pulling her up to her eye level, Lexa growled in a low voice. “Stay. the FUCK away. From _my_. Family.”

Winding up once again, Lexa brought her fist down directly on Echo’s nose, knocking her out.

 

OoOoOoO

 

With Luna’s help they managed to get Raven out of the cafeteria and bring her to the car. The entire way she muttered “You don’t know what you’ve done.” Which only succeeded in making Lexa more concerned. Luna wanted to stay with them, but Lexa was a little too mad at her for being friends with Echo to let her, even if she did stand up for her. Monty and Jasper were following behind them, while Maya was talking to the principal explaining what happened. Eventually they decided (well Raven insisted) that they go home as soon as possible, so Clarke and Lexa got in the car, leaving the rest of them behind to cover for them.

When they finally got home, Raven went straight to her bedroom, but before she could slam the door like she usually would, Lexa burst into the room. Pulling her into a hug, Lexa tried to hold back her tears. “Are you okay?”

“No.” Raven sobbed, letting her tears fall freely now. “You ruined everything. EVERYTHING!”

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked, feeling incredibly guilty for causing her more distress.

“ECHO KNOWS!” Raven cried, sinking to the floor away from Lexa. “She knows and because you punched her she’s going to tell everyone on Monday!”

Lexa’s face fell. The thing she promised would never happen again,  was indeed happening again, and she was the reason why. Looking back and forth between the two upset girls, Clarke felt like she was missing something.

“Wait I’m confused. What does Echo know? And why is that going to ruin everything?”

Looking up with tears still streaming down her face, Raven cried harder. “I HAVE A PENIS!”

Taken aback, Clarke was speechless for a moment. “Like an actual… fully functioning… pee standing up penis?”

“Yes.” Raven sobbed. “I’m a freak!”

“You’re not a freak!” Lexa assured, putting her hand on Raven’s heaving shoulders.

“Yes I am! And thanks to you everyone will know!” Raven screamed jerking away from Lexa’s touch.

Seeing the hurt in her girlfriend’s eyes, Clarke realized something. “Wait a second! Is that why you were doing Latin homework? Did Echo make you do her homework so she wouldn’t tell?”

Nodding, Raven wiped away her tears. “Y-yeah. Her entire group was blackmailing me.”

Now crying herself, Lexa hugged Raven once more. “I- I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

Slightly calmer than before, Raven hugged her back, now being the one doing the comforting. “It’s not your fault.”

“But now everyone will know, and it’s because of me.”” Lexa sniffled.

Hearing that made Raven tear up again, but Clarke looked on confused. “I’m sorry why is this a problem?”

“Everyone will laugh at me.” Raven whispered, voice hoarse from crying.

“Ummm why would they do that?” Clarke asked. “Is it like really tiny?”

“N-no. I don’t think so.”

“Well how big is it?”

“H-hard? Or soft?”

Lexa grimaced at the idea of talking about her cousin’s penis, but Clarke was too intrigued. “Hard obviously.”

Raven thought for a moment before responding. “T-ten inches?”

Lexa’s jaw dropped while Clarke gasped. “Holy fuck.”

Raven’s face furrowed with concern. “What? What’s wrong? Is that bad?”

“NO!” Clarke furiously shook her head. “That’s really big. Like huge. I have no idea why you think anyone would ever laugh at you. That’s hot!”

“Clarke!” Lexa gasped, looking betrayed.  “Don’t say that she’s my cousin.”

“Well your cousin is seriously hung and has nothing to be ashamed of.” Clarke said with a serious face, adding the last part for Raven.

“Grosssss don’t say that.” Lexa whined, covering her ears.

“Listen Lex.” Clarke laughed. “Just because you are grossed out by dicks doesn’t mean that other people can’t appreciate them.”

Raven, incredibly embarrassed by this entire conversation,  only blushed harder. “But I still don’t want anyone to know.”

“Well if what you said is true, then everyone is going to find out anyways. So you only have two options.” Raven looked at Clarke confusedly, she couldn’t even think of one option, but Clarke seemed sure. “You can wait for Echo to tell everyone and get them to make fun of you. Or you can tell everyone yourself and show them all how proud you are.”

Taking a moment to consider it, Raven realized she might have a point. “But how? I can’t just get up in the lunchroom and announce it to the world.”

“Oh no of course not. You’d just have to leak your nudes.”

Lexa chose that moment to open her eyes, but seeing the look of horror on her cousin’s face, she quickly closed them and started rocking herself back and forth, not wanting anything to do with this.

“There’s no _way_ I’m doing that!”

“You don’t have much of a choice.” Clarke argued.  “At least if you do it yourself, you can shape how people view it. Plus lots of famous people’s nudes have been leaked and it doesn’t always end up badly.”

Raven was speechless.

“Listen, why don’t you go take a shower and get all that spaghetti out of your hair. You can decide after.” Clarke suggested.

Raven simply nodded and walked to the bathroom. Turning on the shower, she started considering her options, but just  before she got in, Clarke knocked on the door. “Hey Raven. Ummm if you do decide that you want to tell everyone yourself you might want to um clean up.”

“Yeah I know Clarke that’s why I’m taking a shower. To get all this food off.” Raven responded, unsure of why Clarke sounded so nervous.

“Oh jeez.” Clarke gulped. “I mean clean up ummm down there. Like manscaping?”

“Oh. OH!” Raven jumped at the realization. She was very glad that Clarke wasn’t in the room to see how much she blushed at the thought of that. But just before she got in the shower, she picked up a can of shaving cream and a razor.

Half an hour later, she reappeared dressed in only a pair of black boxers and a tank top. Clarke and Lexa were in the middle of discussing something, so she cleared her throat to get their attention.

And get their attention she did.

Both of them couldn’t help but stare at the space between her legs. It was so obvious now that neither of them could believe they never noticed it before. It was kind of hard to miss.

Raven squirmed under their gaze, until she couldn’t take it any longer and had to speak up.  “So I’ve decided that _I_ need to tell everyone. I even thought of what to say when I post it.”

“Well that’s great.” Clarke smiled reassuringly.

“Yeah we’ll support you no matter what.” Lexa agreed, doing her best to not look uncomfortable.

“Okay good.” Raven said in a small voice. “But umm could you help me take the picture? I’ve never done it before.”

Lexa looked absolutely mortified. “Ohh heeeeeell no! Nope! I love you Raven, but this is where I draw the line. I can’t help you.”

“But I can!” Clarke chimed in, a little too enthusiastically for Lexa’s taste. “Whip it out! Show me what I’m working with!”

Raven blushed hard while Lexa rolled her eyes. “Can you even act like your girlfriend is sitting right here?”   

“Hey! It’s not my fault there’s a bi girl’s dream sitting right in front of me! But don’t worry I only have eyes for you.” Completing her thoughts with a kiss seemed to appease Lexa enough into letting Clarke help.

So 2 hours, 30 angles, 5 lighting and 2 costume changes later they had done it. They took the perfect dick pic.

Clarke looked quite proud of her work, Raven was slightly less embarrassed, but Lexa refused to even make eye contact with either of them.

“Now you just have to post it.” Clarke said confidently, handing Raven the phone.

Raven gulped. Quickly typing out her explanation she hesitantly pressed post. Looking up to see Clarke with two thumbs up, she sighed.

“And now we wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the action packed Chapter 7! I meant to post it yesterday but I decided I didn't want it to end after the cafeteria scene so I added the new part with a new cliffhanger!  
> Yes, yes I know that it's probably unrealistic to make her 10 inches but after all the shit poor Raven had been through, I had to make her fucking huge to make up for everything. So don't question it  
> Will people fall in love with her? Or run away in fear? I don't know but you can find out next Friday 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for all the comments and kudos!


	8. Chapter 8

**** By the next Monday, Raven’s picture had blown up. The entire school knew, and even people beyond that. She had gained nearly 5,000 followers, and had thousands of messages but she was too scared to even look at any of the comments. The only messages that she actually read were sent minutes after her posting, but not soon enough. 

**From Octavia (12:37): RAVEN WHAT DID YOU DO? No one knew anything! I swear!**

**From Octavia (12:38): I’m serious! Take it down!**

**From Octavia (12:39): People are going to see this! Please don’t do this!**

**From Octavia (12:41): Raven hurry!**

**From Octavia (12:46): RAVEN DON’T DO THIS**

**From Octavia (12:52): TAKE IT DOWN WHILE YOU STILL CAN**

**From Octavia (12:55): RAVEN PLEASE! I DIDN’T TELL ANYONE!!!**

**From Octavia (1:01): YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME**

Eventually she just blocked her number, but not before seriously considering if she was telling the truth. Part of her wanted to believe that Octavia really was trying to help, but she knew, she  _ knew _ , that Octavia didn’t care about her anymore. No one would care about her anymore. Why would they? She’s a freak. 

After Octavia’s bombardment of messages, Raven couldn’t bring herself to look at her phone. For the entire weekend her phone buzzed every few seconds, driving all three of them insane, but Raven refused to let any of them even so much as look at their phone. The only time Lexa managed to sneak a glance at a phone, it was to see Niylah’s break up text. Not that Raven could really blame her.

Clarke ended up staying over for the weekend, so on Monday morning the trio all walked into school together. Raven with her head hung low, trying to avoid all the stares, and Clarke and Lexa proudly standing nexting to her, ready to beat the shit out of anyone who said something to hurt her. 

But no one did. 

No one said anything. But that was almost worse. The entire hallway was silent as they made their way to their lockers, but no one’s eyes left Raven for a second. Growing uncomfortable, she felt like running away. She changed schools once before and she could easily do it again. But just when she was about to make a break for it, Lexa nudged her arm, drawing her attention to the person approaching them. 

With each click of her black heels, people moved to the side of the hallway to give her more space. Walking as if she owned the school (which she did) she flipped her hair over her shoulder as she sauntered down the hall. Raven’s eyes trailed up from her toned legs, to her incredibly short skirt, all the way up to her grey-blue eyes that seemed to have a predatory glint. 

As she got closer and closer, Raven leaned back slightly to whisper to Lexa. “Is that…?”

“Costia? Yep.”

Costia  was one of the hottest girls as school, and now seeing her up close, Raven could see why. “Why is she…?”

Before Lexa could answer, Costia was standing right in front of them. As she licked her lips to draw attention to them, Raven’s eyes widened. Suddenly overcome with nervousness, she audibly gulped. 

Sensing her hesitance, Costia stepped forward. Looking her up and down with a smirk, she ran her hand along Raven’s arm. “Raven! Hey! I saw your pictures last night. Can I just say…” Leaning forward so that her lips were just inches away from Raven’s ear, Costia smirked even more when Raven gasped. “Wow.” Raven shivered at the hot breath against her neck. Before she could even respond, Costia’s eyes were staring directly into her own, their lips nearly touching. “We should really hang out sometime. Just give me a call, and I’ll be there.” Putting a scrap of paper with her number on it in Raven’s hand she turned to leave with a wink, adding an extra sway of her hips with each step. 

Raven just stood speechless, completely shocked. But her eyes couldn’t help but follow her as she walked away. 

Baffled, Clarke broke the silence.  “Ummm.... What the hell just happened?” Noticing that Lexa was watching Costia too, she jabbed her in the ribs, making her jump to life. 

“Don’t look at me!” Lexa shrugged, clutching her side. 

“Well don’t look at Costia’s ass!” Clarke fumed, smacking Lexa’s shoulder. 

“I can’t help it! “I used to have the biggest crush on her.” Lexa gushed. “But I guess she’s into dicks. Who’d’ve thunk? At least she likes Raven. It means she’s got good taste.”

Raven still didn’t say anything. 

“Raven? Rae? Earth to Raven?”

Flinching at the waving hand in front of her face, Raven let out a wavering breath. “Did what I think  just happen… Really happen?”

“You can bet your sweet ass it did.” Clarke laughed, bumping into Raven’s shoulder with her own. “So what do you say?”

“What do I say about what?” Raven asked innocently. 

“Are you gonna tap that?”

“Clarke…” Lexa started, trying to stifle her chuckle.

Seeing Raven’s shocked expression only further egged her on, making Clarke go into detail. “Are you gonna take her to pound town? Give her the ride of her life? Make her scream her ow-”

“Clarke!” Raven gasped in pure horror. “Oh my god no!”

“I think you’re gonna have to get used to it Rae. It seems like the whole school knows about your special friend. But at least the girls are into it.” Lexa smirked eying all the people who were still staring at Raven. 

“How do you know they’re not just talking about how weird it is?” Raven questioned, still unsure about the whole ordeal. 

“If these comments show anything, I think you’ll be fine.” Clarke mused, staring intently at her screen. 

“What?! Let me see!” 

Grabbing the phone, Raven immediately started reading. But just as she began to get caught up in all the comments, a voice pulled her out of the phone. 

“Um, Raven?” Looking up, Raven couldn’t help but blush when she saw Luna. “I just wanted to tell you that I saw your post on Friday. And I’m really impressed by your confidence and your honesty. I think you’re really brave. And I heard you just broke up with Niylah, so I was wondering... if...” Noticing Raven’s unreadable expression Luna faltered for a minute. Suddenly growing nervous she rubbed her hand against the back of her neck and stared at the floor. “I was just thinking that maybe… you know if you want... we could… uh…” 

Raven furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Why would Luna- the star of the volleyball team, most gorgeous girl ever, be nervous around  _ her _ . 

“Oh my god! Spit it out! 

Raven whirled around to see Clarke anxiously staring at Luna, only making the taller girl blush. Taking a moment to muster up some courage, Luna gulped. “Well I was just thinking that if you ever had some free time you might want to go out with me?”

Raven’s jaw dropped. For a full minute she just stared at the anxiously awaiting Luna until Lexa nudged her shoulder in an effort to wake her up from her daze. But still nothing. Growing more and more nervous, Luna tried again. “Or just hang out or something? Or not.” Voice dropping in disappointment, Luna shifted her gaze away from the intimidating trio. “Nevermind it was a stupid idea.”

Desperately  wanting to say something, Raven opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was a small squeak. Luna looked up hopefully at the soft sound, hoping it was a good sign, but before she could ask what it meant, Clarke piped up. 

“She’d love to.” Luna grinned, as Raven blushed and tried to hide her mortal embarrassment of having her cousin’s girlfriend talk to girls for her. 

“Really? That’d be great!” Raven gave a small nod when she felt Luna staring at her. 

“Perfect! Here let me give you her number. She’s better at texting. I promise she can actually converse like a normal human. She’s just shy.” Clarke chuckled to herself. 

“I’m sure she can.” Luna smiled softly, catching Raven’s eye as she glanced up. 

“Gimme your hand.” More of an order than a question, Clarke grabbed Luna’s arm and started writing out Raven’s phone number in sharpie. 

Raven was slightly worried that Luna would get mad at the action, but based on the way she blushed slightly and cradled her hand, brushing over the freshly written ink, she realized that Luna was just as excited as she was. 

Admiring the numbers as if she was committing them to memory, Luna winked. “Well I guess I’ll have to call you now. I don’t think I’ll forget your number anytime soon.” 

“She’ll be waiting.” Clarke smirked, watching as Raven stared wide eyed up at Luna.

Leaning in slightly, Luna pressed a quick kiss to Raven’s cheek, leaving the brunette gawking . Giggling slightly, she gave a small wave as she walked away. “Well I guess I’ll see you later.”

Rendered speechless yet again, Raven sighed. Once Luns was out of earshot, she hoarsely whispered. “Bye.”

When she finally managed to look away from the retreating Luna, she was met by Lexa’s stare. “I cannot believe you. Girls are literally throwing themselves at you and you’re just standing there like an idiot.”

“I… I…”

“And it’s working! They still think you’re hot! It’s not fair!” Lexa whined. 

“I think she has a magical dick.” Clarke deadpanned. 

 

OoOoOoO

 

Octavia couldn’t take it. Raven had been ignoring her since Friday, and probably blamed her for everything, even though it wasn’t her fault. She actually hadn’t told anyone. She promised herself that she wouldn’t hurt Raven anymore. At least not on purpose. 

When she first posted her photos, Octavia was worried that everyone would lash out at her like they did back at their old school, but their response was almost worse. Everyone  _ liked  _ her? As she read through the comments, Octavia only became more and more frustrated. She was jealous. No. No she wasn’t. She was upset that everyone was objectifying her bes- ex-best friend like this. It wasn’t right. She was just trying to stand up for her. She wasn’t jealous. 

But then at school, as countless idiot girls threw themselves at her, she couldn’t even hide it. Octavia was definitely jealous. She couldn’t understand why Raven would even tolerate this. Letting stupid bimbos drool all over her… shamelessly flirting back. It was driving her mad.  _ Raven is supposed to flirt with me!  _ _ What! No.  _ She didn’t care what Raven did. She wasn’t jealous that Raven was getting attention from other attractive girls she just… well maybe she was. 

And now at lunch, watching a giddy group of sophomore girls surround Raven at Clarke and Lexa’s table, her jealousy began to boil over.  _ God! Stupid Raven!  _ Why did she have to be the center of attention? It made it impossible to avoid her, which was exactly what Octavia was trying to do. But everywhere she turned there was Raven. At first with Niylah and now with every other girl in school. 

_ God think of something else! Anything other than Raven. School. Yeah think of school. Literature is pretty boring. We’ve got that big paper due next week but it shouldn’t be too hard. Math. Now Math is hard. You know what else is hard?  Raven’s dicWHAT NO! BAD OCTAVIA! STOP THINKING ABOUT RAVEN! _

Shaking herself out of her daydream, Octavia looked up to see Raven smiling giddily at the crowd of blushing fangirls. Desperate to distract herself, she turned back to whatever conversation was happening at her table. 

“Did you know about it O?”

Having been ignoring them before, Octavia didn’t hear the question. “What?”

“Did you know she had a dick?” Echo asked again.

“What! No of course not!” Feeling herself start to blush slightly at the mention of Raven’s not so little friend, Octavia took a bite of food as an excuse not to talk. 

“That’s what I thought. But I just can’t figure out why she posted those  _ disgusting  _ pictures. Did she think we knew?” Echo mused. “Cause I wish I did. I would have destroyed her if I had known.” Hearing a snort, Echo looked towards Luna, who had recently started tolerating her again. “What?”

“How would you have destroyed her? If we all saw the same pictures I think we can agree that the only thing destroying anything else is her.” 

“I’ve gotta agree with Lu, Echo.” Ontari added. “She seemed really proud of it all, and she has a right to be. I mean I’m not gonna lie, it’s pretty hot.”

Sharing a look, they both smirked a little, making Octavia more jealous, and Echo roll her eyes. 

“Are you serious it’s freakish!?  Back me up O!” 

“Oh I know right. When I saw that photo of her big... thick…” Slowly getting wrapped up in remembering when she first saw the picture, Octavia couldn’t deny that she find it  really,  _ really  _ hot. But she couldn’t say that. “Umm weird dick. I thought it was gross!”

“Well maybe you’re gay.” Becca offered. “Because you’ve got to admit that is one good looking dick.”

“No it’s not!” Echo rolled her eyes. 

“I said it once, and I’ll say it again.” Finn smirked, having just sat down. “That girl is gonna be more popular than you.”

“As if.” Echo huffed. 

 

OoOoOoO

 

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Really Big Reyes.”

Raven jumped at the sudden voice next to her. Quickly shutting her locker she was surprised to see the same dirty blonde who comforted her in the hall weeks before. The girl who everything about her screamed sex. The girl who at the same time was incredibly intimidating and incredibly gorgeous. _ But what was she doing here?  _  Frowning slightly, Raven cocked her head to the side, and stared back at her.  _ And what did she just call me?  _

Worried that she had forgotten her, Anya gave a nervous chuckle. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me already. It’s me Anya.”

“No, no, I remember you.”

“Oh good.” Anya sighed, relaxing a bit. “You just looked confused and I thought that maybe-”

Getting straight to the point, Raven cut her off. “What did you call me? 

“What?”

Lexa rolled her eyes at the interaction. Raven tried to seem badass, but after today, it became clear that Raven was a sweet angel baby. A really oblivious sweet angel baby that had no idea how to flirt. She wasn’t used to people flirting with her, and apparently is horrible at picking up on cues. 

“When you first walked up… What did you call me?” Raven pushed, looking just as confused as Anya.

Realizing what she was asking, Anya felt a little guilty. “Really Big Reyes?”

“Yeah what do you mean by that?”

“Well… You’re really big.” she murmured, genuinely confused as to why Raven wasn’t picking up on it. 

Furrowing her brows, Raven stared intently at her. “What are you talking about? I’m not big.” 

“Trust me.” Anya chuckled, eyes slowly drifting downward away from her face. “You’re  _ really  _ big.”

“But... I’m not…” Raven mumbled, still confused. “You’re like a lot taller than me. Most people are.  _ You’re  _ really big. I’m just… normal. Average really.”

Anya blushed. Hard. Stuttering, she tried to explain, but was too embarrassed. “Well I mean… You know.. you’re… you’re really big… and I.”

Clarke couldn’t stand  Raven being so oblivious while girls were trying to get into her pants anymore. “Oh my god again? Really Raven? It’s your dick. She’s talking about your dick. You’re dick is giant. That’s why you’re really big.”

At the sudden realization, Raven’s eyes widened. “oh. OH!” 

“Yeah….” Anya started, clearly embarrassed. “Sorry I just… people were calling you that… and… Just sorry. I know it’s kind of rude. I just wanted to say hi, and well… Ask if you wanted to hang out sometime. So do you?”

“Want to hang out?” Raven clarified. 

“Yeah.”

Unsure of what to do now that  _ another  _ girl had propositioned her, Raven just shrugged. “Ummm maybe.”

“Well here let me give you my number, and when you decide you can call me.”

Raven held out her phone, which Anya eagerly accepted and began typing. Once her number was safe and sound and saved under Anya <3 ;) she stepped forward, making Raven back herself into the locker. Gently pushing the phone into her chest, Anya smirked as she leaned closer. “You better call me.” 

“Oh I will.” Raven nodded eagerly as the taller blonde pulled back. 

“Good. Don’t keep me waiting.” Spinning on her heels, Anya walked away, but not before sending a wink over her shoulder. 

“How? Just how?” Lexa cried falling back into the locker next to Raven. 

“The captain of the soccer team? You have got mad game. Teach me your ways!” Clarke praised, holding up her hand for a high five. 

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Okay 1. I’m standing right here. And 2. She has a dick. It’s an unfair advantage.” 

“Shut up.” Raven grumbled, hiding her smile. 

She couldn’t help it. She had never in a million years expected people to react this way. All the guys wanted to be her, and all the girls wanted to be with her. That was new. Maybe this year wasn’t going to be so bad. 

“Oh god don’t look now.” Clarke muttered, quickly turning around and distracting Raven from herself.

“Don’t look at what?”

Trying to not seem suspicious Clarke pointed with her head over her shoulder. “Octavia is giving you a serious death glare.”

Following the general direction of Clarke’s terribly aimed gesture, Raven locked eyes with Octavia. But she didn’t see a death glare. She saw…  _ jealousy _ ? After all the girls that had tried to convince her to sleep with them,  Raven hadn’t even thought about the blue eyed devil. She had almost forgotten the girl she was still hopelessly in love with. 

Octavia had pushed her away, broken her heart, exposed her biggest secret… twice, and now here she was staring at Raven, clearly jealous and even hurt, as Raven talked to other girls. Now Raven isn’t a mean person, but seeing her jealous felt good. 

Noticing that Raven looked deep in thought Lexa also looked to Octavia. “I don’t think that’s a death stare. I think that’s a jealous stare.”

“Oh my god you’re right!” Clarke whisper yelled. “She’s jealous of you Raven!”

“Good.” Raven huffed. “She deserves it.”

“Good? She deserves it?” Clarke and Lexa asked in unison, surprised to see Raven acting so coldly.

“I’m done. I loved her so much. I  _ love  _ her so much. But she humiliated me. She told everyone the secret that took me years of trust and love to build up the courage to tell her about. She has caused me so much pain… Made me feel like such shit… She can deal with feeling jealous.”

With that, Raven sent a glare at the fuming Octavia, and headed for the main entrance. All the while, the rest of the eyes in the hallway followed her every move. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I give you... Chapter 8!  
> So Raven's secret is out... What do you think?   
> I know it's a little short but the next chapter should be longer as more things unravel
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos! I hope you enjoy!


	9. Chapter 9

 “You didn’t call.”

For the second time in two days, Raven was surprised to find an unamused looking Anya leaning on the locker next to hers.

“H-hey Anya.” She stuttered.

Crossing her arms, Anya simply repeated herself. “You didn’t call.”

Raven blushed. She really had wanted to call her, but she just couldn’t bring herself to pick up the phone. And she knew exactly why. When she was in her element, Raven was a confident, sassy, good humored person, who could talk for hours. But over the phone, when she couldn’t watch people’s reactions, she was a mess. A stuttering, stressed out mess. Texting she could do. She was a master of texting. Nothing captured her sense of humor, wit, and subtle flirting like texting could. But Anya had wanted a phone call, and Raven was too nervous. Well that and she had stayed up half the night texting Luna.

“Yeah well… I was busy… ya know… homework?”

“Mhhm.” Anya hummed in disbelief.

“But I really wanted to. It’s not that I didn’t want to. I really did. I mean who wouldn’t want to call you.” Lexa and Clarke tried to hide it, but watching Raven ramble always made them laugh. “Stupid people that’s who. I mean you’re probably great to talk to. You’re smart… interesting… beautiful. Not that that’s important! You could be a good conversationalist and be ugly.” Eyes widening at what she just said, Raven paled. “Not that you’re ugly! Like I said! You’re gorgeous. And nice! Did I mention nice?”

Eventually Anya couldn’t take it anymore, and cut her off with a chuckle. “Raven it’s okay. I get why you might not have wanted to talk to me.”

Raven blushed furiously. “Sorry I just get nervous…”

“Around pretty girls?” Anya winked, making Raven even redder. “Yeah I know the feeling. It happens to the best of us.”

Part of Raven wanted to be a little sad that Anya was so confident. She wasn’t even slightly nervous. And Raven is pretty. _Right?_ Laughing nervously, she tried to shake it off. “You can say that again.”

Returning her smile, Anya nervously ran her hand through her hair.  “So about that phone call...”

Raven didn’t notice the vulnerable motion, but Lexa sure did. Talking to pretty girls could be stressful. “I’m really a lot better at texting. Would that be-”

“It would. But I was going to ask you if you just wanted to hang out in person.”

Shocked for a moment, Raven’s  eyes widened, but were quickly replaced by a smile. “I’d love to.”

“Great.” Anya grinned back at her.  “Are you free tomorrow night?”

Frowning slightly, Raven felt a little guilty. “I ummm… I can’t.”

“Oh come on. I know it’s a school night, but we could just hang out a little while right after school. You could be home before dinner.” Anya suggested.

“No that’s not why I can’t.”

“Well then why not?” Anya demanded, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Because she’s hanging out with me.”

They all turned to see a smiling Luna, looking a little smug. “We have plans.”

Raven smiled, when she saw the friendly  brunette. “Hey Luna.”

“Hi Raven.” Luna smirked, before turning to face a scowling Anya.“Anya.”

“Luna.” Anya responded, not even trying to hide the annoyance in her voice.

“So what’s going on over here?” Luna prodded, shifting her focus to Raven.

“Well we were-”

“Just trying to find a day for our _date_.” Anya interjected, emphasizing the last word while staring down Luna.

“DATE?” Luna and Raven nearly yelled in unison.

“Yep.” Anya smiled, locking eyes with Raven. “But apparently today’s no good for you. So how does Friday work?”

Luna frowned slightly, but Raven couldn’t believe her ears. “Uhh… y-yeah that works for me.”

Clarke and Lexa were beaming behind all of them, watching the scene unfold, but Luna only continued scowling.

Quite pleased with herself, Anya couldn’t help but smirk. “Perfect. I’ll pick you up at 7.”

Without waiting for Raven to confirm, Anya winked and walked away, leaving the four of them in varying degrees of shock. Luna opened her mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. Raven was a little dazed, taking a moment to process what happened. They stood in silence for a moment, until a defeated Luna sighed.

“I guess I’ll just see you later.”

But before she could sulk away, Raven grabbed her arm. “No don’t go. I.. we…” Seeing the hopeful glint in Luna’s eyes suddenly made her grow nervous. Raven really liked her, but things never went well when she told people that in the past. Taking in a deep breath, she tried her hardest to not stare at the floor.  “Do you wan- I was wondering if.... Well.. Doyouwanttogooutwithme?”

Lexa couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her lips. Luna and Clarke were utterly confused but having known Raven for so long, Lexa was fluent in Ravenese, and she was so proud of her little cousin.

Luna just furrowed her eyebrows. “What was that?”

“Ummmm….” Raven tried to respond, but all that came out was some unhearable mumbling. “Doyouwanttogooutwithme?”

“I… I don’t know what that means.”

Trying to prevent any further embarrassment for Raven, Lexa stepped in. “If I heard her correctly the first time, I think she wants to go out with you sometime.”

“Oh. Really?” Raven nodded rapidly, staring wide eyed at her crush. “Well yeah of course I’ll go out with you.” Luna smiled, blushing slightly.

“G-great.” Raven grinned, regaining her normal speech capabilities. “Do you um want to do something on Saturday?”

“That would be really really great.”

“Yeah I think so too.” Raven hummed. “We should defini-”

The sudden ringing of the bell, signalling class starting, cut her off before she could finish. Once it stopped, Raven tried to finish her thought, but Luna was already hurrying off down the hall, shouting goodbye as she ran to class.

“I honestly don’t get it.” Clarke mused, watching Raven with narrowed eyes. “How are you going on two dates in two days with two gorgeous girls?”

Blushing slightly, Raven shrugged. “What? You don’t think I’ve got game?”

Clarke laughed. “I didn’t say that. We know you have _all the game_.”

Sensing her sarcastic tone, Raven gave her a playful shove. But since it was unexpected, she ended up knocking her into Lexa. “Hey!”

“Sorry cousikins.” Raven cooed, blowing a kiss at Lexa’s glare. “I’m just on an adrenaline rush from having all my wildest dreams come true.”  

Lexa rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay calm down. We get it you’re cool. But I just don’t think this is going to turn out well.”

Clarke and Raven shared a look. “What could possibly go wrong?”   

 

OoOoOoO

 

“This is just unacceptable. You’ll never believe what just happened.”

Octavia sighed. She wished they could get through just one lunch without Echo complaining about something. _Is that too much to ask?_ Not even pretending to be interested, she tuned them out and stared into oblivion. But oblivion happened to look a lot like a certain lovestruck Latina.

She couldn’t help it. Ever since she saw Raven again on that first day of school, Octavia couldn’t stop thinking about her. About them. What they once were. What they maybe could b- _No._ They could never be anything. And it was all her fault. Raven hadn’t spoken to her since the morning before she came out with her secret. Sure they only ever seemed to speak when one of them was in a fit of rage, but to Octavia, that was better than being ignored. There used to be a time when they couldn’t go more than three hours without talking, but things were different now. Everything had changed. And it was all her fault.

Continuing to stare wistfully at the brunette, Octavia felt a wave of regret. There was nothing she wouldn’t do, to just-

“Hook up with Raven.”

Octavia snapped back to the conversation. _What did he just say._ For a minute the group was silent, only making Octavia more confused. And nervous.

Breaking the silence, Echo glared at him. “Finn don’t be gross. That wouldn’t help anything. Just eww. No.”

“What do you mean it wouldn’t help anything.”  Finn said through a mouthful of food. “It’s easy really. You don’t like that everyone thinks you’re not hot shit anymore. You _want_ to be popular. Raven _is_ popular. If you lock that down it’s automatic popularity again. It’s that simple.”

With a shrug he finished, leaving the rest of them to consider what he just said. Octavia was livid. The thought of random girls throwing themselves at Raven was disgusting. But the thought of _Echo_ trying to date her, manipulate her, use her… it just made her blood boil. It made her want to take a hundred showers. It… It pained her.

Just as she was about to speak up, Echo scoffed. “That would never happen in a thousand years. You couldn’t _pay_ me to willingly spend time with her.”

“Well then it’s a good thing we’ve already got that covered.”  Ontari chuckled, nudging Luna across the table.

Octavia frowned. “What do you mean you’ve got it covered.”

“Oh well Lu is goin-”

“I can tell them myself Ontari.” Luna interjected, smiling bashfully.  “It’s nothing really. Raven and I are just going on a date this Saturday.”

Finn nodded approvingly reaching for a fist bump, while Echo scowled as if she had been betrayed. But Octavia’s face fell.

“Come again?” She asked in a small voice.

“Well I don’t know what  we’re going to actually do, but we’ll probably figure that out tonight.”  Octavia bit her lip, deep in thought. If they were going to plan their date that would probably mean they were going to be together. Which probably meant that they were hanging out after school. That was something she and Raven used to do. Before, she ruined everything. Disheartened, she realized Luna was still talking. “It’s nothing serious. But I sort of hope it could be. She’s really nice. Well she’s nice to people who aren’t mean to her.”

That part had been directed at Echo, but Octavia couldn’t help but relate it to herself.

Echo opened her mouth, as if she was about to say something, but quickly shut it when she realized that Finn might actually be right. If Luna started dating Raven and had her hang out with the group, it would make them all a lot more popular. And that is something she just couldn’t pass up.

It seemed like it was almost painful for her, but eventually Echo gritted her teeth, and managed to say something nice. “That sounds just _great_ Lu. I’m happy for you.”

The rest of the group all added their encouragement, but when it came to Octavia she plastered on the fakest smile she could without having it seem too forced. “ I hope you two have fun. You’d be so cute together.”

 

OoOoOoO

 

By Monday morning, Raven had accomplished the impossible. Most people could go forever without talking to their crushes. They were okay with loving them from afar, dreaming of what could be someday, without ever doing something. Raven used to be like that. But who could blame her? The one time she confessed her feelings for a crush… well… she doesn’t like to think about it. But this time was different. This time she wasn’t going to let other people control her life. She was going to do what she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it, with whoever she wanted to do it with.

And if that involved dating both of her crushes at the same time… You know what they say: probably something disgustingly motivational. So Raven just took her own advice and went for it.

When she told Clarke and Lexa about her dates, it felt amazing to see how proud they looked. Sure Lexa wanted to leave the room when they talked about their not so PG goodbyes, but she was proud nonetheless. Seeing Raven so genuinely happy almost made up for the mentally scarring image of her cousin making out with people. Almost.

But despite that, when she saw Luna sneaking up behind an unsuspecting Raven, holding a finger to her lips as they made eye contact, Lexa grinned.

Raven jumped when she felt hands close around her eyes from behind as an unexpected presence pressed into her. “Guess who.”

Relaxing when she recognized the voice, Raven smiled. But rather than saying anything, she twisted away from Luna and spun around. Luna caught her hands, and by the time Raven had turned completely, they both realized how close together they were. Blushing slightly, they ignored Clarke’s “awws” and simply looked at each other for a moment. Well, Luna looked at Raven while Raven looked at the floor.

“Hi.”

Hearing the soft voice again, Raven looked back up. “Hi yourself.”

“So was how the rest of your weekend?”

“Oh it was pretty good. There was this one girl who distracted me all day. She kept me up all night on the phone.” Raven smirked, feigning annoyance.

Clarke was shocked. She knew how confident and clever Raven could be, but she never imagined she would be so open so soon. Lexa had seen Raven flirt before, so she wasn’t surprised. And Luna definitely wasn’t surprised. Their date had gone really well, and the more they got to know each other, the more started to like each other.

“God she sounds awful.” Luna smirked right back. “You should probably just let her down gently and get it over with.”

“You’re probably right.” Raven paused as if she was considering something before continuing.  “But then again. If I did that, I wouldn’t be able to do this.” Standing up on her tippy toes, she gently kissed the surprised brunette.

It only lasted a few seconds, but when they broke apart, both of them were smiling ear to ear. Slightly breathless, Luna let out a soft laugh. “Yep definitely shouldn’t listen to me. I think you have plenty of good ideas on her own.”

“I know.” Raven grinned, staring into Luna’s eyes.

“Oh get a room.”  Lexa groaned. “Your cuteness is sickening, and I have a hardcore reputation to uphold.”

“Gladly.” Raven winked before taking Luna’s hand and leading her out to the courtyard.

Just as they sat down, Raven noticed Anya start to walk towards them. As she got closer, Raven jumped up to greet her, but Luna just stayed sitting on top of the table, arms crossed and jaw set.

“Hey Anya!”

With a smile, Anya leaned down for a hug. Raven wrapped her arms around her neck, which allowed Anya to lift her into the air and spin around. Caught off guard, Raven gasped before letting out a quiet giggle.

Luna just scowled at the entire scene.

Noticing Luna sitting at the table, Anya smirked. Arm still around Raven’s shoulder, she smiled at the glaring brunette. “Luna. Hey. How was your weekend.”

At this point, Anya was still unaware that Luna and Raven had gone on a date. Picking up on this, based on her demeanor, Luna smugly grinned. “It was great. I had a lot of fun. Wouldn’t you say so Raven?”

Suddenly feeling very guilty, Raven looked bashfully up at Anya. But she only frowned in return. “Wait did you guys do something together this weekend?”

“Oh did Raven not tell you? We went on a date”

“No she didn’t.”

Raven began to worry that they would get mad at her for going out with both of them in the same weekend, but they seemed too preoccupied with glaring at each other to even notice her. Staring back and forth between the two of them, Raven gulped. “Yeah we hung out on Saturday. I thought I could spend a day with each of you.”

“Of course.” Luna nodded, eyes not leaving Anya.

“You can do whatever you want.” Anya agreed.

“Okay good.” Raven sighed. “Because I mean they were just pretty casual first dates, and it’s not like people become exclusive after only one date. I mean I had a great tie with both of you, but we still don’t really know each other that well. I mean I’m new here! I barely know anyone! And I’ve never even really dated before so this whole thing is new to me!”

Usually by now someone would have stopped her. When she really got into her rambling, she could go on  and on. Lexa always seemed to be there to tell her to shut up when she got too lost in her own words, but without her, Raven just kept going while Luna and Anya stared at each other, having their own conversation.

Eventually Luna noticed Raven’s continual muttering to no one, and gave her her full attention. “Don’t worry we’re not mad at you.”

“Yeah not at all. We just…”

“We need you to pick one of us.” Luna said with a curt nod.

“What?” Shocked, Raven quickly looked between the two of them, trying to read their expressions.

“Well you’ve gone on dates with both of us.” Luna started. “So whichever one of us you like better you can keep dating.”

“I don’t know if I can just pick one of you.”  Raven muttered thinking to herself.

“Well we can help you decide.” Anya offered. “Obviously I think you should go out with me. I mean we have a ton in common. We both lov-”

“But _obviously_ you’ll want to pick me.” Luna interrupted, getting off the table still glaring at Anya.

“You’re crazy if you that she’d pick you!”

Raven couldn’t lie. It felt pretty good to have people fighting over her. That was new. Plus they both looked kind of hot when they got so worked up and protective. But they also looked like they wouldn’t be beneath fighting each other, so Raven quickly stepped in. “Look I don’t want to cause any trouble. Why don’t we jus-”

“We have more classes together!” Luna protested.

Anya scoffed. “So?”

“GUYS! I’m sorry… But I just can’t choose.” Raven said, shaking her head slightly and not meeting her eye.

“Fine.” Luna huffed, still glaring at Anya. “I guess she’ll just have to go out with both of us until she decides which one of us she likes better.”

Raven gulped. As captains of the two best teams at school, Anya and Luna were the most competitive people on campus. So having them pitted against each other was probably going to end badly. But either way it was a win win situation for her.

Not backing down, Anya growled. “Oh it is so on.”

And it was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter 9! This chapter is kind of just here to set up the next couple of chapter which are going to be mainly Anya/Luna/Raven and their dates and relationship but eventually we'll get to Octaven (yay!)  
> I apologize in advance if this isn't that great or if there are any errors, it's almost 3am and I decided to add to this rather than work on an actual paper for school because yay procrastination
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thanks for the comments and kudos!


	10. Chapter 10

Raven was in heaven in every way shape and form. That was new. It was a little overwhelming to be shown so much affection all the time. But Raven loved every second of it. Underneath her tough exterior, guarded by a red leather jacket, she was a gushy hopeless romantic. A hopeless romantic who never actually believed that she would find someone to treat her like the star of a romantic comedy. And she  _ really  _ didn’t expect to find two of them. From the outside their whole situation probably seemed a little strange. But all love triangles do from the outside. Everyone else only sees the competition and eventual heartbreak when their triangle inevitably becomes a line, but when you’re the Bella being fought over by Edward and Jacob, it can feel pretty damn good. 

And for Raven, it felt pretty damn amazing. 

Every morning when she walked into school, Anya and Luna were waiting for her. Sure they secretly loathed each other, but for Raven they were willing to be civil. And it meant the world to her. In her life she’s seen so much fighting, so much negativity, that to be able to be consistently greeted by her two biggest fans was more than she could ever ask for.  Just to feel so loved, almost made up for everything she’d been through. Because even if they wouldn’t admit to themselves, Anya and Luna really did love  her. 

They both had their own ways of showing it, but they never let Raven go a day without doing something to make her smile. Luna was a master baker, and loved food almost more than Raven did, and Anya was such a softie that she would do anything for Raven. And don’t even get her started on their hugs. Raven wasn’t short per se, but compared to the two amazonian goddesses, she was tiny. And she loved nothing more than just being enveloped in their arms. Time really seemed to stop then. 

So for the first time in a long while, Raven was happy. Truly happy. 

Well… almost.

There was just one thing missing. Something wasn’t right. But since she was so enthralled with being wanted, she just pushed it out of her mind. That was a problem for future Raven. Right now she was just going to laugh at the sweet note and box of pizza she found in her locker. 

_ Roses are red _

_ Pizza sauce is too _

_ I got a large _

_ And all of it is for you…. _

_ (well almost all of it, I couldn’t help myself) _

_ XOXO _

_ Luna _

Puzzled, Raven opened the box to find a pizza missing one slice. Chuckling to herself, she smiled.  _ Typical Luna.  _ But before she could even reach for her phone to send a quick thank you text, a husky voice appeared to her right. 

“Hey babe.” 

Turning around, Raven grinned to see Anya hovering above her. With one hand one hand at the side of Raven’s head against the locker, leaning in slightly with her head cocked, she just looked so… kissable?

“Anya he-” 

Not letting her finish, Anya leaned in the rest of the way to cut her off with a kiss. Taken by surprise, her eyes stayed open, but as Anya’s lips began moving against her own, Raven melted into the kiss. When Anya pushed forward, making them gently fall into the locker, Raven couldn’t help but wrap her arms around Anya’s neck for support. Letting her arm that wasn’t holding them up fall to Raven’s waist, Anya deepened the kiss. Usually Raven wasn’t a big fan of PDA, but feeling Anya be so strong yet so soft at the same time, made her not even care. People could say whatever they wanted. People could shout and sa-

“God Anya! Stop groping her. We’re gonna be late for class.” 

Anya rolled her eyes at the all too familiar voice, but didn’t make a move to stop. Not one to ever miss school if she could help it, Raven dropped her hands slightly, gently pushing at Anya’s shoulders. But rather than pull back, Anya only pushed forward more, trapping Raven against the locker, and continuing to assault her neck with a barrage of kisses. Raven had to hold back a moan at that. But hearing someone clear their throat, Raven suddenly remembered where they were, and how much trouble they could get in if a teacher saw them. Eyes shooting open, she blushed to see Luna watching them with her arms crossed.  

“Really Anya? Here? In the hallway?” Luna scoffed. In response, Anya removed her hand from the wall, and flipped Luna off, still not pulling back. Now it was Luna’s turn to roll her eyes. Taking another step closer she pushed Anya’s shoulder, making her stumble back. “I’m not kidding, class starts in like 5 minutes.” Before Anya could protest, or try and kiss her again, Luna had grabbed Raven’s hand and was pulling her down the hallway. 

Only a little annoyed that they hadn’t properly been able to say (kiss) goodbye, Anya called out after them. “Bye Raven!”

Still a little dazed, Raven turned to respond, but Luna just kept walking, forcing Raven to awkwardly stumble backwards as she waved with her free hand. “By Ahn! See you at lunch!” 

Finally turning around once Anya was out of her sightline, Raven heard Luna grumble something as they rounded a corner.  “What’d you just say?” Rather than respond Luna kept walking… even after they past their classroom. “Wait where are we going? Our room was back there…” Raven trailed off when Luna finally stopped. But she only grew more confused when the taller brunette opened a door and pushed her inside. Blinking to adjust her eyes to the darkened room, Raven realized they were in a janitor’s closet. “What are we doing here?”

Luna chuckled softly as she closed the door behind her. Raven couldn’t get a signal if it was staring in the face. And here she was, staring her directly in the face. “Do you always ask this many questions?” Luna smirked, walking closer.

“What? No. Only when I’m missing class. Well I do ask a lot of questions when I’m in class too. I usually jus-”

Cut off by Luna’s sigh and a soft chuckle against her ear, Raven realized just how close they were now. “How about we do something that involves  _ not _  talking.”

Raven’s stared at her with wide eyes. She watched breathlessly as Luna leaned in painfully slowly until their lips were centimeters apart. Not able to take it anymore, she surged forward, surprising Luna. But the older girl quickly regained control and walked them backwards until they were leaning against a shelf. Raven gasped at the sudden movement, giving Luna the chance to slip her tongue into Raven’s mouth, taking even further control of the kiss. Since they were alone, Raven didn’t even try to hold back her small moan as she pulled the taller girl closer by her hips. Luna moaned as well, weaving her hands into Raven’s hair. 

The faster and more heated things got, the more they both lost track of time. But eventually they were interrupted by a knock on the door, and a timid sounding Clarke. 

“Ummmm guys. I know you’re in there. Class started five minutes ago, and Señora Cartwig is getting impatient. So…. finish up whatever it is you’re doing... And get back to class!” Waiting a moment to see if they would respond, Clarke just stood there awkwardly. “Are you coming?”

_ Well now we’re not.  _

Luna pulled back with a sigh, and rolled her eyes. “We’ll be out in a minute, just tell her we were in the bathroom.”

But once they heard Clarke scurry off, they immediately returned to their kiss. It wasn’t until both of their phones started going off, presumably from texts from Clarke that they finally stopped. 

Leaning so that their foreheads were still touching, they took a moment to catch their breath. “I guess we should go to class.”

Raven whined.“Do we have to?”

Faking shock Luna gasped. “Did I just hear  _ the  _ Raven Reyes say she wanted to skip class?” Stepping closer again she put her hand to Raven’s forehead. “Are you sick?”

“Oh shut up.” Raven mumbled, hiding her smile. “I can be a rebel. I’m not just some goody two shoes ya know. I’m a badass.”

“Of course you are.”

“I AM!” Raven protested. “I’m skipping class right now.”

“That’s true. And to make out it a janitor’s closet like a horny hooligan no less. Ferris Bueller would be proud.” Luna laughed. 

Raven rolled her eyes, and brushed past the taller girl. “I know you’re only trying to appease me,  but I’ll take what I can get.” 

“Ms. Badass wait!” Luna smirked, grabbing her wrist before she could turn the handle. “You might want to fix your hair first.”

 

OoOoOoO

 

When lunch rolled around, Raven was looking forward to sitting with her girlfriends after such an eventful morning. But after a few minutes of waiting, both of them were yet to show up. Slightly defeated, she got a tray and headed for the lunch line. After piling a plate high with tacos, Raven started back to Lexa and Clarke only to be intercepted by Luna.

“Rae! There you are! I was looking for you.”

Slightly relieved, Raven grinned. “So I was I. But I didn’t see you.”

“Oh that was probably because I was already sitting down.” Looking over Raven’s shoulder, she seemed to relax when she noticed she was alone. “So lunch with Anya?”

Raven shook her head. “I couldn’t find her either.”

“Oh. Well do you want to come sit with me?”

Raven knew it was a harmless offer, that she really did want to sit with her. But if it involved sitting where she usually sat, with Echo, it wasn’t worth it. 

“Would you want to come sit with Clarke and Lexa with me?” she counter offered. 

“Yeah of course!” Luna smiled. But after a moment, it quickly reverted to a small frown. “Umm where are they?”

Turning around to point to where they had just been, Raven also frowned. “I guess they must have left.”

“So is that a yes to sitting with me?” Luna asked hopefully. Instead of responding, Raven paused for a minute, weighing her options. Seeing her struggle Luna gently laid her hand on her shoulder, drawing her back to reality. “Or we could sit alone. Just the two of us.”

While that did sound a lot better, Raven didn’t want to take Luna away from her friends. Even if they were assholes. But she didn’t really blame Luna for that, there was no way she could have known about everything that Echo did. And Luna was never mean to her, she stood up for her. So Raven agreed to sit with them. 

Octavia frowned as she watched the duo approach the table. Luna led the way, while Raven timidly followed. Luna had been talking about Raven basically non stop since they started dating, but Octavia never thought in a million years that she would want to sit with them. Not after how downright terrible Echo had been to her. Not after how badly her own best friend betrayed her. But here she was. When they finally sat down, Octavia couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact with either of them. Especially not after she felt Raven’s eyes staring at her. 

“So everyone you know Raven.” Luna started. “And Raven I think you know them, but this is everyone. Becca, Alie, Lincoln, Finn, Ontari, Octavia and Echo, who  _ promised  _ to be nice.” Luna was aware that Raven and Echo weren’t on the best terms, but since she didn’t really know why, she assumed it wasn’t that bad and could be fixed if they just got over it. If only she knew how wrong she was.

Raven gave a small hello, and the rest of them reciprocated. But Echo was the first to say something. “Well we’re all so happy you came to sit with us. I know we started off on the wrong foot, but I really do hope we can be friends.”

Octavia wanted to groan at how fake that sounded, and Raven couldn’t help but narrow her eyes. But what they didn’t know was that Echo, for once in her life, was being completely genuine. Sure it was for a completely selfish reason, but she really  _ did  _ want to be her friend _.  _ How else was she supposed to become popular again? Finn was right. Nobody else really seemed to notice, but the entire lunch room was watching their interaction carefully. Everyone was curious. Was there going to be another fight? Was Raven going to drag Echo again? Were they going to make up? Were they going to make out?

Sadly, nothing  _ that  _ dramatic was going to happen. Their lunch went on pretty ordinarily. 

Finn and Lincoln were being their misogynistic selves, Becca and Alie were talking about something in the hopes of impressing Echo, and Ontari was telling Luna about a new volleyball strategy. But Raven and Octavia were completely silent. Luna and Ontari tried to bring both of them into their conversation, but neither of them responded with more than one word answers. Seeing that Raven was just quietly eating her food and not looking distraught, Luna didn’t really think too much about it. 

She may have seemed fine, only a little withdrawn, but under the surface, Raven was panicking. She hadn’t been this close to Octavia without one of them blowing up at the other in a very long time. Not since they were best friends.

But before she could drive herself crazy thinking about Octavia, Finn’s voice caught her attention. 

“So what’s it like being a girl with a dick?”

“Umm excuse me?” Raven was a little surprised by the question, but Luna looked absolutely insulted.

“Finn you can’t just ask her that!”

“No it’s fine.” Raven said, trying to calm Luna down by holding her hand. The action didn’t go unnoticed by Octavia.

“Rae you don’t have to answer any of their stupid questions.” Luna insisted, glaring at the boys as they just grinned like idiots.

“No really it’s okay.” Raven assured her. “Well it’s weird I guess. But how is being a boy with a dick?” she retorted, turning towards Finn.

“Fair point.” Lincoln nodded.

“Well I think having a dick is awesome.” Finn shrugged. “And I mean based on the way all the girls here just drool all over you, you probably got tons of ass at your old school.”

Raven blushed a little. There was no way she was going to confess in front of Echo, in front of  _ Octavia  _ that she was still a virgin. But luckily Luna was too disgusted to even let her answer the question. “Finn what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you think that I would date someone who just slept around with anyone? And also some people have standards and don’t just hop on anything that even looks their way. She has class. She’s not a man whore like you.”

Octavia nearly spit out her water, as she tried to hide her laugh. Finn could be a real douche and she was glad Luna was calling him out on it. But she thought it was a lot less funny when the entire table turned to stare at her. And what made it worse was that Raven was looking at her too. With those big brown eyes that anyone would want to fall in love with. But right now they looked almost emotionless. And Octavia couldn’t help but think that she was the reason why. 

After their interruption, Finn went right back to his questioning pretending that Octavia didn’t even exist. But eventually Luna could see that Raven was looking pretty uncomfortable and told him to stop. 

“Okay okay fine. But can I just ask one more question?” He begged.

Luna started to say no until Raven cut her off. “Fine one more.”

“Okay good.” He grinned mischievously. “One more.” After thinking for a minute, his face lit up. “Is it really that big? Or did you photoshop it or something?”

Noticing that they were all staring intently at her, including Octavia, Raven started stuttering. They weren’t harsh or judgemental glares (well Echo’s was) they just seemed curious. But Raven was too embarrassed to answer. 

Just as she was about to make up something, Luna proudly spoke up for her. “It’s bigger.”

They all stared at her in shock. Their once curious looks, changed into dropped jaws, impressed wide eyes, and for Finn and Lincoln, a hint of jealousy. And with Octavia… was that a hint of desire? Raven was surprised too. Luna had never… she’d never even seen it. But before she even knew whether to proudly brag, or just give a shy smile, Finn was slamming his fist into the table. 

“Damn it! If I knew that girls were so into dick pics I would have leaked mine a while ago.”

All of the girls at the table cringed. Especially Octavia. Not wanting to subject anyone to the torture of witnessing that, she scoffed. “Oh shut up Finn. No one wants to see your tiny excuse of a dick.”

Finn looked as if she had just killed his puppy, but Raven burst out laughing. Octavia secretly beamed. She loved Raven’s laugh. It was so genuinely adorable. Octavia might have thought that was cute, but the rest of them just stared at her like she was insane. Making Raven feel very out of place.

But before anyone else could say something, a new figure appeared at the table, drawing all eyes to her. “Raven! There you are! I was waiting for you!” 

Upon seeing Anya, Raven was both relieved, and a little confused. She was even more surprised when Anya leaned down to give her a quick kiss. But this time there were two people who glared at them as they kissed. Not only Luna, but Octavia as well. Oblivious to the stares, Raven gave Anya her full attention. “Really? I couldn’t find you! I thought we were having lunch together!”

“I was in the library. I thought I told you we’d be working up there.”

“Working on what?” Luna asked, not wanting to be forgotten. 

“Oh just a project that we’re doing for some extra credit.” Anya winked at Raven, cluing her in, but not letting the rest of the table know. 

Realizing that she was just using that as an excuse to escape from a very awkward situation, Raven instantly stood up. “Oh yeah! Our project… that we really need to work on. We should ummm probably go do that.”

“That’s why I came to get you.” Anya smiled. 

“Wait hold on!” Luna nearly whined, getting up so that she was in between Anya and Raven. “You can’t just not say goodbye.”

Raven raised an eyebrow at her mischievous look, but didn’t complain when Luna’s hand wrapped around the base of her neck as she leaned down for a kiss. She had been expecting a quick peck, so she was quite surprised to find Luna licking at her bottom of her lip, asking for entrance. Not one to say no to beautiful girls, Raven just melted as Luna’s tongue explored her mouth for the second time that day. 

When she pulled back with a smug grin,  she licked her lips. “Mmm tacos. Were they good?”  

Raven faked a grimace. “God you’re so weird. Now we’re definitely leaving.”

With that she and Anya walked out of the room hand in hand, with Raven whispering a quiet thank you. Luna watched them go before sitting down with a smile on her face. 

And Octavia just rolled her eyes at the entire scene.

 

OoOoOoO

 

At first they were all fine with the deal. Raven went out with both Anya and Luna, and they did their best to make her like them better. But after two weeks they were getting a little impatient, and  _ very  _ jealous. And  _ very very  _ competitive.

Not that Raven noticed. She was too busy being normal and accepted for once. 

But as much as they wanted to make Raven happy, they knew they needed to do  _ something  _ about it. 

“We need to talk.”

Raven had gotten used to her girlfriends hiding behind her locker like in cheesy movies where she wouldn’t notice them until she closed it, so this was nothing new. But when she closed the door to see Anya leaning against her locker with one arm, and then turned to see Luna doing the same thing on the other side. Well that was new. 

Feeling slightly nervous, she leaned back into her own locker so she could see them both at the same time. “What’s up.”

The two shared a look, before Anya started talking. “Alright here’s the deal. We can’t take this anymore.” 

As if they had rehearsed it, Luna spoke up as well. “We both really want to date you. But I don’t think any of us can handle you dating the both of us at the same time.”

“So we really need you to pick one of us.” Anya finished for them. But when she saw the panic on Raven’s face, she immediately wanted to take it back. Turning to Luna, she realized that that was nothing compared to the serious stare the tall brunette was giving her, so she continued. “We understand that you might not want to, but we promise that there will be no hard feelings.”

“I-I-I I can’t.” Raven stuttered, completely caught off guard. 

“We get that it’s hard. But if you really care about either of us, you’ll make a decision.” Luna said, fighting the urge to just cave and wrap Raven in a hug. 

“But-but how am I supposed to choose?” Raven asked, working her way up to being completely distraught. 

Anya shrugged. “That’s up to you.”

“Yeah.” Luna agreed, rubbing her hand up and down Raven’s arm comfortingly. “Which one of us do you think is a better match for you? Who do you really get along with? Or who do you like talking to and being with.”

Taking a moment to think about it, Raven shook her head and sighed in defeat. Looking up she was only more confused to see a smirking Anya.

“Or… Who’s a better kisser?”

Before Raven could even respond, Anya grabbed her face with two hands, and pulled her forward into a quick kiss. When she pulled back, giving Raven a chance to breathe, Luna quickly took her place, replacing her lips with her own, and trying to put all of her passion and feelings into one kiss. 

Raven was surprised, but not complaining. 

After a minute, Anya grabbed Luna by the back of her shirt and pulled her off Raven. This time she smashed their lips together with a new force, making Raven moan. When Luna couldn’t wait anymore she gave Anya a shove and pulled Raven to her. As her tongue slipped into Raven’s mouth, there wasn’t even a battle for dominance, Luna just took control, and dropped her hands to Raven’s hips. Raven wasted no time in tangling her hands into Luna’s wild mane of hair. But just as it was getting intense, Anya body checked Luna, sending her sprawling to the floor. Raven raised an eyebrow at her, but Anya just ignored that and possessively grabbed her hips, nearly slamming her into the locker. With their bodies completely pressed together, Luna didn’t stand a chance at getting Anya off of her. Even with her attempt at a running start, Anya held fast, leaving the tall brunette huffing in defeat. 

When Anya finally pulled back  with a victorious smirk, Raven just stood dazed. Anya wiped off her lips with the back of her sleeves, and turned to Luna. “I’m sure she’ll have no problem choosing now.”

Luna just scoffed and turned to Raven with an expectant glance, but still disoriented, Raven just stood against the locker with her eyes closed, panting slightly. 

“Yeah Rae. Who’s it gonna be?” Luna pressed, running a hand through her thoroughly messed up hair. 

Even more confused, and definitely turned on, Raven really was distraught now. “I can’t pick based on that. You’re both too good.”

Turning to each other, Anya and Luna started whispering loudly. Not loud enough that Raven could hear their actual words, but loud enough that she knew they were heated. After a minute of deliberating, a very calm Luna turned to her with a smile, while Anya stood with a very serious face. 

“Alright Raven. Here’s the new deal. You get  _ one  _  more date with each of us. But then you  _ have  _ to choose. Got it?”

Raven knew there was no way that was going to happen. She really did have feelings for both of them, and she knew she would feel terrible if she picked just one of them. But reluctantly she agreed. Picking one of the two of them was a problem for future Raven, for now she’d just reap the benefits. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the competition begins.... well begins more   
> Their dates will be next chapter. I kind of already know what I want them to do, but nothing is set in stone so if you have any cute date ideas let me know and I might use them.   
> There will be lots of fluff but also jealousy next chapter (which I hope to write and have out for Tuesday but we'll see)
> 
> Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments!


	11. Chapter 11

 

“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LUCKY YOU ARE?!”

“Clarke you don’t have to sound so jealous.” Lexa huffed, trying to remain calm. 

“SHE’S BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME AND SHE’S WASTING IT!”

“Clarke shhhh! You’re embarrassing me!” Raven whined, her very apparent blush spreading even further. 

“I WILL NOT! NOT WHEN YOU’VE GOT TWO FINE ASS WOMEN FIGHTING OVER YOU! YOU CAN’T JUST SIT THERE MOPING!”

“I’m not moping!”

“THEN WHY ARE YOU HIDING IN THE CORNER!”

“I’m not hiding! I’m reading! Raven protested, sending Lexa a pleading look. 

“STOP LYING TO YOURSELF, GET OF YOUR ASS, AND GO-”

“CLARKE GRIFFIN!”

All three girls silenced instantly. That voice was not one to be reckoned with, and they all knew it. Clarke slowly turned around only to stumble backwards from the sheer volume of the glaring woman in front of her. 

“THIS IS A LIBRARY AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR VULGAR SHOUTING! IT’S DISRUPTING STUDENTS WHO ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO WORK!”

Summoning up strength from somewhere, Clarke managed to squeak out an apology. “I’m sorry Ms. Green. I didn’t realize I was being so loud.”

“I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! GET OUT OF MY LIBRARY BEFORE I SEND YOU TO DETENTION!”

“Yes of course! Right away ma’am! I’m so sorry! It will never happen again.”

Raven couldn’t help but laugh as she watched an even paler than usual Clarke sprint for the door followed by a red faced Lexa. But she quickly shut up when she realized the librarian’s piercing glare was now aimed at her. 

“And you Ms. Reyes.” She began, pointing a crooked finger directly at her. “I expect better from you. You know I don’t tolerate disruptions in my library.”

“I know, I know. They just showed up, I had no idea that was going to happen.” Raven explained, trying to seem innocent. 

But she simply raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms. “Mhhhhm.” 

Not wanting to anger the notoriously grouchy librarian any more, at risk of losing the one place she could go for privacy, Raven flashed her best smile. “Come on Ms. Green… you know me! I would  _ never  _ purposefully disturb other students. I promise that it won’t happen in the future.”

Giving her one last glare before she softened, the librarian sighed. “Just don’t bring that  _ riff raff _ in here again.”

“Trust me I don’t think they’ll come around anytime soon.” Raven said with a forced chuckle as she started toward the door. “Byeeeee. Have a good weekend.”

“Goodbye Ms. Reyes.”

As she walked down the stairs to the hallway, Raven made a mental note to get Ms. Green a nice present so she would keep letting her sneak food into the library. But any thoughts of the library were erased when she saw Clarke and Lexa waiting for her by their lockers. 

Looking very much back to her regular self, Clarke raised an eyebrow. “Just because Ms. Mean scared the crap out of me don’t expect to get away with not answering my question.”

Raven sighed. “Can you just drop it? It’s not that big a deal?”

“Not that big a deal!? Rae I never usually care about boring dating drama, but this is huge!” Lexa added, earning an approving look from Clarke.

“I really don’t think so guys. It’s just dating.” 

“Yeah dating two freaking  _ supermodels _ ” Clarke nearly screamed, drawing the attention of the entire hallway. “But  _ oh wait  _ that must happen  _ sooo _ much to Really Big Reyes.”

“Clarke!” Raven hissed, wanting to die of embarrassment from all the stares. “Stoooooop.”

“I’ll stop when you admit that you actually care.” Clarke retorted, crossing her arms. 

“Fine!” Raven admitted exasperatedly. “I care okay? I really really care, and I don’t want to mess this up! Are you happy now?”

“Delighted.” Clarke said smugly. 

Giving Clarke a shove, Lexa frowned. “Why do you think you’ll mess anything up?”

“Because I’m me!”

“Well ‘me’ managed to get two of the hottest girls at school to go on a date with her. And for some unfathomable reason they seem to really like you. So don’t worry about  _ messing anything up.  _ They’re already happy just being with you.”

Raven relaxed a little at Lexa’s advice, but shook her head after a moment. “That’s not it. They don’t want to be in a love triangle, which is totally understandable, but I don’t want to lose them.”

“So pick one of them.” Clarke deadpanned. 

“It’s not that easy.”

“Well you’re gonna have to do it eventually. It’s not fair to any of you to split your time and dates between two people.” 

Raven groaned at Lexa and her stupid logic. “I know… But  I just can’t pick! I mean who would you guys pick?”

“That’s easy.” Clarke scoffed.

“Yeah it’s obvious!” Agreed Lexa. 

Staring skeptically at the two, Raven relented after realizing she really did want their advice. “Well then who? I’m desperate!” 

Sharing a look, Lexa and Clarke both spoke at the same time. “Luna!” “Anya!” 

After a moment, they realized what the other had said, and both looked horrified. “Anya?” “Luna?” 

“What do you mean Anya?” Clarke demanded, backing away from Lexa as if she no longer trusted her judgement. 

“Well I could ask you the same question!” Lexa protested, putting her her hands on her hips. “What’s wrong with Anya. They’d be cute together.”

“No no no no no. Lunaven is  _ way  _ better than…” After taking a moment to make a face, Clarke continued. “Ranya.”

“Are you kidding me? Anya is perfect for her! She’s kind, sporty, funny and she’s  _ not  _ friends with people who are bitches!” 

“ _ Please _ .” Clarke scoffed, really getting into their argument. “Luna isn’t actually friends with Echo. She’s stood up to her  _ for  _ Raven before. She clearly really cares about her. And you’re on her volleyball team you know how athletic she is! Plus she’s super nice! And she’s gorgeous! And Raven has a huuuge crush on her!”

Worried that people could hear her, Raven whined. “Claaaarke! You can’t just tell people that.”

But the two just ignored her. They continued arguing for who knows how long with Raven trying to interject every little bit. But they weren’t getting anywhere. Clarke was clearly very very Pro Luna, and Lexa was on Anya’s side. And neither of them were going to change each other's minds, or help Raven’s decision. 

Finally Clarke just threw up her hands. “I don’t care what you say! I’m team Luna!”

“And I’m Team Anya!” 

“Well  _ I’m  _ certainly glad to hear that.”

Raven turned to see Anya and let out a sigh of relief. It was her date night, and after all this thinking, she wanted nothing more than to just go out and have fun.

“Anya hey!”

Giving her a hug and quick kiss on her cheek, Anya looked at Clarke and Luna. “So what did I just interrupt?”

Raven tried to get in the first word, but Clarke beat her to it “Nothi-” “Raven told us about her dilemma and we were trying to help out.”

“Oh.” Anya nodded, seemingly not freaked out by the exchange. “So I take it Lexa’s on my side?”

“Yep!” Lexa smiled proudly popping p, which earned a look from Clarke. 

“Yeah  _ she  _ is, but sadly for you, I vote for Luna.”

“Okay, fair enough.” Anya chuckled. “I guess I’ll have to hope I can sway Raven’s mind after our date tonight.”

Clarke’s eyebrows raised. “You have a date tonight?”

“Yeah.” Raven smiled, not taking her eyes off of Anya, who reciprocated the gesture. 

“Well where a you going?” Lexa pushed. 

“Hmmm? Oh it’s a surprise.” Anya mused, finally looking up. 

“Awwwww how romantic.” Lexa smirked, sending Clarke a triumphant glance.

“You know it.” Anya smiled, before looking at her phone. “We should actually get going.”

“Well you two kids have fun. And be safe!” Lexa exclaimed as they turned to leave. 

“Lexa oh my god.” Raven blushed, pulling Anya away from her embarrassing cousin. 

“Hey you treat her well!” Lexa continued to shout down the hall. 

“I wouldn’t do anything but!” Anya called back. 

“I’m talking to Raven!”

Clarke laughed as Raven flipped them off and walked out the door. “I mean they are cute together. But Luna is still going to be her choice.”

Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”

“Of course.” Clarke responded confidently.

“Wanna bet on it?”

Turning to face her, Clarke smiled a devious smile. “Definitely.”

“Okay good. Loser buys dinner?” Lexa offered. 

“Well actually… I was thinking something else...” Clarke started with a smirk. 

Lexa’s eyes widened after Clarke leaned forward to whisper into her ear. 

“Deal.”

 

OoOoOoO

 

“Pizza?”

Anya smiled proudly. “Yep. I know it’s your favorite, and I can’t believe you still haven’t been here. It’s the best place in town!”

“Yessss! I’ve been craving pizza all week!” Raven exclaimed, trying to stop herself from jumping with joy as they walked toward a very traditional looking Italian joint.

“I know I read your mind.” Anya deadpanned, not breaking eye contact with Raven as they walked side by side. 

“Uh huh. I’m sure you did.” Raven teased, as she poked at the taller girl's side. 

“What! I am!” Anya protested, reaching in front of them to open the door.

“Suuuure.” 

“I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you.” She shrugged, walking up to the hostess stand. 

A smiling blonde waitress greeted them.  “Table for two?” 

As she laid them to a small table, Raven made sure to get there first so she could pull out the chair for Anya. The taller girl was surprised by the act, and couldn't help but grin. “Why thank you. You’re such a gentlewoman.”

The waitress smiled at the exchange, and then went to put down the menus. “So can I get you some drinks to start?”

“Water is fine for me.” Raven said, beginning to look through the menu. 

“And I’ll have a lemonade.”

“Alrighty then. Do you want a few minutes to look at your menus?” 

“No actually we’re good. We’d like a medium Margherita Pizza, and a Medium Sausage Pepperoni too. Thanks.” Luna said with a smile, handing back her menu. 

Raven sent her a confused glance, before following her lead and giving up her menu as well. When the waitress left, she furrowed her eyebrows. “Already ordering for me?”

Anya blushed slightly. “Oh yeah sorry about that. But their Margherita Pizza is to die for and you just have to try it. Trust me you’ll love it.” 

“Alright I do. You’re the psychic pizza master. Who wouldn’t trust you?” Raven smirked. 

“Well non believers like yourself might not. “ Anya countered. 

“Then make me believe.” Raven challenged, leaning in to rest her forearms on the table as Anya did the same. “Tell me what I’m thinking.”

“You are thinking that this is totally fake and I’ll never be able to read your mind.”

Raven faked a gasp. “How did you do that? Do it again.”

Closing her eyes to put on a spectacle, Anya grabbed Raven’s hands and held them face up in her own. “I’m seeing…. I’m seeing…. Ewwww! gross ! Ya nasty! This is a family restaurant! Get your head out of the gutter!”

Raven burst out laughing. 

Their conversation just continued to flow naturally until their pizza showed up. And then Raven  couldn’t focus on doing anything but stuffing her face with the wonderful doughy goodness. Luckily for her, Anya found that cute. 

But right when Anya was smiling at Raven who was scarfing down her third piece, they heard a familiar voice. 

“Oh my god! Fancy seeing you here!” 

Raven grew concerned when Anya scowled at the voice behind her. Turning around, around, she was surprised to see Luna. 

“What are you doing here?” Anya snapped. 

“Oh you know… I just came to pick up some dinner. And here you are. I mean what are the chances?” Luna smiled innocently. 

Completely oblivious to the clear intent of her restaurant choice, Raven smiled. “Well since you’re here, do you want to join us?”

“What? Raven no! This is our da-”

“I would  _ love  _ to!” Luna beamed, setting down her purse. 

“Well that’s just great.” Anya forced out through clenched teeth. “Let me get you a chair.”

“Oh don’t worry about. I can just sit here.” Before either of them could protest, Luna sat down on Raven’s lap and wrapped her arms around her neck. “Raven doesn’t mind. Do you Rae?”

Raven gulped. Focusing all her effort into not having a certain little friend make an appearance at the sudden contact, she decided not to speak, and just slowly nodded. 

“See? She’s fine with it.” Luna smiled to the very pissed looking Anya across the table.  

“Wonderful.” She said back with a fake smile. 

Ignoring Anya’s glare, Luna turned her attention to the pizza in front of her. “Well this looks good!” As she reached out to grab a piece the sudden shift made Raven let out a little squeak. Luckily it went unnoticed as Anya was too busy telling Luna off for stealing their food. 

Luna that’s not for you!”

“Oh come one… You two can’t eat two whole pizzas by yourself.” Luna protested trying to take a piece. 

“No!” Anya growled smacking away her hand. 

“Ow! Anya you don’t have to be so rude!” Luna huffed before dropping back into Raven’s lap.

Letting out a wavering breath as Luna settled down against her, Raven prayed that Luna couldn’t feel anything through her jeans. But based on the look she had on her face moments later as she looked over her shoulder, she definitely could. 

Anya noticed the look on Raven’s face, and furrowed her brow. “Is everything okay Rae? Is Luna  _ bothering  _ you?”

Before she could respond, Luna shifted again to turn around and look her in the eyes. “Yeah Rae? Am I bothering you?”

“What? No I’m fine. Just a little hungry.” Raven mumbled. 

“Oh don’t worry babe, I can get you a piece.” Luna offered, reaching out again knowing that Anya couldn’t stop her this time. 

But as she triumphantly sat back down again, Raven let out a tiny moan at the new contact, knowing she couldn’t hold back anymore. Anya noticed that both  of their eyes had widened once Luna sat down, but didn’t realize what exactly was going on. Luna, however, did. Not wanting to make the girl uncomfortable, Luna sent her a look in an offer to get off, but Raven knew that anymore movement would only make a bad situation worse, so she simply wrapped her arms around Luna’s waist to keep her in place. 

Anya glared at the seemingly sweet gesture and gritted her teeth to stop herself from saying anything. But as she watched Luna alternate between giving Raven a bite of pizza and taking one herself, she couldn’t take it anymore and called the waitress over to distract herself for a moment. 

The cheery blonde instantly appeared next to the table ready to give Anya her attention, but when she saw Luna and Raven sitting on each other she frowned. “Um I’m sorry ladies, but we usually only have one guest per seat. So I’m going to have to ask you to sit separately. I’ll go get you a chair if you’d like.”

Anya grinned smugly at the sudden change of events. But her moment of victory quickly passed when she saw Raven’s panicked look. 

Luna had started to move to get up, but Raven grabbed her hips keeping her in place, she really didn’t need the waitress to see anything if the girl got up. “Are you sure you can’t just make an exception? I mean the table’s isn’t really big enough for three chairs, and we don’t mind.” She asked, pleading with her eyes. 

The waitress stared at them skeptically for a moment, but shrugged it off. “Alright, but if my boss asks, I’m telling him it was your fault.”

“That’s fine by me!” Luna laughed, not wanting to let Raven take all the heat. 

“Alrighty then. Do you guys need anything else? Dessert?  The check?” 

“A dessert menu would be great, thanks.” Anya smiled, trying not to think about how Raven  _ wanted  _ to sit with Luna. But once the waitress was gone, so was her sweet charade. “Luna I need to talk to you  _ right  _ now.” She hissed, standing up and stalking off to the door of the restaurant. 

Before getting up, Luna looked back at Raven to make sure she was okay. Given a small nod in response, she slowly got up and scampered after Anya, leaving Raven breathing deeply and pushing in her chair so she was closer to the table. 

After a few minutes, she started to get nervous that they hadn’t returned, but her mind was quickly distracted from that, when a shy voice spoke up. 

“Raven?”

Snapping out of her thoughts, Raven looked up to see Octavia staring at her. “Octavia, hey.”

“Yeah hi. How are you?” 

“I’m fine.” Raven shrugged, keeping her responses short. “You?”

“Good, good… So what are you doing here?” Octavia asked, shifting uncomfortably on her feet.   

“Ummm well….” Clearing her throat, Raven glanced up, wanting to see how she would react. “I’m on a date.”

“A date?” Octavia’s face fell slightly, but Raven didn’t notice. “That’s nice. With Luna?” The curly haired girl hadn’t mentioned anything, but Octavia hadn’t asked, so it was a possibility. 

“Actually no. With Anya.”

“Oh.”

Octavia had been thinking about Raven a lot lately, but not about her with other girls. Especially not multiple girls. It wasn’t such a crazy idea that Raven would go on lots of dates with lots of girls, but Octavia didn’t like to think about it. 

“Yeah…”

Realizing that the girl at the table only spoke up because of the awkward silence that happened when she had been thinking, Octavia sighed. “Well I hope you have fun. I’ll see you around.”           

“Okay, bye O.” Raven called out softly as the brunette started to walk away. 

Octavia froze. Raven hadn’t called her O in a long time. A very long time. She missed it. She didn’t want to push her luck, but she also didn’t want to pass up an opportunity. Looking back over her shoulder, she gave a little wave. “By Rae.” Quickly turning to leave, she missed the small smile that creeped up Raven’s cheeks.

Just as she walked out, Anya walked in. As they passed, they gave a small nod of acknowledgement, but Octavia knew Anya had someone important waiting for her and didn’t try to stop her. 

When Anya got back to the table, she sat down and let out a deep breath.  “Hey babe, sorry I took so long.”

“Oh it’s no problem.”

Noticing that Raven was smiling about something, Anya stared at her questioningly. “Why do you look so happy?”

“No reason.” Raven answered quickly, hoping her cheeks weren’t turning pink (they were). “Ummm where’s Luna?”

“She had to go.” Anya said shortly, furrowing her brow. “Speaking of… Do you want to?”

“Want to what?” Raven asked, confused. 

“Get out of here?” 

Raven smiled up happily at Anya.“Oh yeah sure.” 

“Well then let’s go.” Anya grinned, taking Raven’s hand in her own and pulling her to her feet.

Despite Raven’s protests, Anya payed for their meal, and they headed out to find her car. They walked in silence, but it wasn’t a  _ completely  _ uncomfortable kind of silence. Their date had started on such a high, but right now, they were both a little less than enthused. 

The silence endured for most of the car ride, replaced only by the soft lull of the radio. But by the time they reached Raven’s house, both of them were singing along to some 90’s throw back song. Even though the car had stopped moving they stayed put for the rest of the song. When it finally ended they both laughed, their awkward silence long gone.

Once the song finished, Raven moved to get unbuckled, and Anya knew she only had a limited window to make a move.“Sooo…..” she started, drumming her fingers against the steering wheel. “Do you want me to walk you to your door?”

Raven smirked at the very obvious attempt.  “You know if you wanted a goodnight kiss you could have just asked for it.”

“Well consider this me asking.” Anya smirked back, leaning over to capture Raven’s lips with her own.  

 

OoOoOoO

 

After crashing Anya and Raven’s date, Luna knew she had to make  _ her  _ date with Raven even better. So when she found out that Wonder Woman was showing again at the tiny theater near the school, she knew exactly where she would take Raven.

But as she was driving over to pick her up to go to the movies, Luna was nervous. And Luna didn’t do nervous. She never had a reason to in the past. All the guys who wanted to date her would fall to her feet begging for her attention, and most of the girls weren’t very experienced and viewed her as a confident sex goddess. Which she was. But something about Raven Marie Reyes made her stomach do somersaults. And the thought that after this one date she could get kicked off the island, sent home with no rose, chopped, made her incredibly nervous. 

So now here she was, white knuckling her steering wheel, trying not to throw up, and desperately hoping she didn’t look nervous as she watched Raven walk up to her car with a dazzling smile. 

“Hey Luna!”

“Raven! H-hey! How are you!” Cursing herself, for stuttering, Luna was so relieved that Raven didn’t seem to notice, and instead opted to lean across the console for a hug. 

“I’m great! Very excited for whatever we’re going to do today. And you?” 

“I am doing just dandy.”  _ Dandy? Who says dandy? _

Raven did notice it that time, and chuckled softly. “Well jiminy cricket that’s good!”

Not wanting to risk saying something else stupid, Luna blushed and put the car into gear. But Raven was feeling quite nervous herself, and didn’t want anymore awkwardly silent car rides. 

“So where are we going today?”

“You’ll have to wait and see.” Luna smirked, feeling slightly more comfortable just spending time with Raven and remembering that she was the nicest person ever. 

“Oh is that so?” Raven questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Yep.” Luna said, making a point to keep her eyes on the road. “My lips are sealed.”

A beat passed before Raven smirked. “Well hopefully not for long.” At that, Luna’s jaw dropped open and Raven laughed. “See I told you. You kept your mouth shut for like a full five seconds.”

Luna just blushed and started stuttering. “W-well I... You tricked me. I- I.. I wasn’t trying.”

“But what did you think I was talking about that made your mouth drop open like that.” Raven pretended to ponder as she tapped a finger to her chin. But after a moment of watching Luna get more and more flustered, she laughed again. “I’m just messing with you… But I mean hopefully our date  _ will  _ involve some of that.”

Noticing that Raven didn’t sound like she was joking, Luna turned to look at her. “Yeah I think I’d like that.”

With that, Raven reached over to hold Luna’s hand. Sure her driver’s ed instructor had always said to use two hands, and never make the driver take their hands of the steering wheel, but he probably hadn’t been laid in fifty years, so what did he know. 

They drove for another fifteen minutes before pulling up to a very large looking mall. 

“Alright give me my hand back. I have to try and parallel park this.” Luna declared, pulling her hand away with a flourish. 

After a minute of concentration, and a  _ very  _ close call, the car stopped moving, and Luna visibly relaxed.

Raven on the other hand, just got more excited. “Ooooh babe. You don’t know what you’re doing to me.  I love a girl who can parallel park!”

“I’ll have you know I am a very good driver. I passed my driver’s test with flying colors two years ago.” Luna huffed. 

“I’m sure you are.” Raven grinned as she leaned in for a gentle kiss. “Am I not allowed to be astounded by your skills.”

“Oh.” Luna said, realizing she had meant it as a compliment. “Well then by all means continue. You flatter me.”

“I do try.” Raven grinned as they got out of the car. “So a mall… what are we doing here? Buying a better date idea since we’re not in middle school?”

“I am insulted!” Luna exclaimed, hand flying to her chest. “How dare you? I put so much thought and effort into this. And you… you.. Just throw it all away!” Dramatically feigning tears, she threw her hand over her forehead and fainted back into Raven’s arms. 

Still playing along, Raven let out a cry, and switched to a thick southern accent. “Oh heavens no! Whatever shall I do. The sheriff’ll come lookin’ for me. I gotta leave town. I gotta get rid of this body!”

In one swift motion, Raven lifted the taller girl up and threw her over shoulder, eliciting a surprised screech. “Raven! Oh my god! Put me down!”

“Not today li’l darlin’!” Raven drawled, as she started to walk toward the mall. “Not till you tell me what we’re doing!”

“Okay! Okay, I’ll tell you!” Luna cried really not wanting to be dropped. 

Very gently, Raven put her down, leaving Luna to stare at her in shock. Even though she was a few inches shorter, she appeared to be pretty strong. 

“So where are we going?” Raven asked innocently, as if she hadn’t just picked Luna up like it was nothing. 

“Well… I wasn’t going to tell you till later.” Luna mused, moving to get the movie tickets out of her pocket. “But we’re going to see Wonder Woman!”

“Oh my god really!” Raven cheered, not even trying to hide her excitement. “Are we actually? Please tell me you’re not kidding!”

“I’m not!” Luna smiled, brandishing the tickets.

“YESSSSSSS!”

Luna couldn’t help but laugh as Raven jumped up and down. They got a couple of stares from strangers, but Raven didn’t care, so neither did Luna. When she finally calmed down, Luna was glad that her idea had gone over so well. But before she could even say anything Raven was giving her a bear hug.

“Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I have wanted to see this since forever! But I never could since I was busy moving when it was in theaters. How did you find a theater that is still showing it?”

Luna was a little taken aback by how excited she was, but was still smiling nonetheless. “I don’t know. This theater just usually shows Box Office Hits a little bit after they leave the theaters.”

“Well you couldn’t have picked a better date idea.” Raven said, finally back to her normal, calm self. “This is like my three favorite things of all time all in one!”

“And what would that be?”

Raven grinned. “Movies, superheroes, and amazingly gorgeous badass women.”

“Well I can’t disagree with you there.” Luna laughed. “Gal Gadot is pretty much perfection.”

“Well come ooooon then! Let’s go! I don’t want to miss anything” Raven nearly whined pulling Luna to get there faster. 

When Luna and Raven finally made it into the theater, the back row was taken, much to Luna’s dismay. But what neither of them noticed was that it was Echo and friends who were sitting there. Octavia, however, did notice. And she was not very happy about it. Raven was with two girls in two days, and she had the misfortune of running into both of them. And much to  _ Octavia’s  _ dismay, the couple decided to sit only ten rows in front of them. (Yes she counted) Now there was no way she’d be able to focus on the movie. Not when Raven was just sitting there being so distracting. But before she could dwell on it anymore, the movie started.

The second the movie started, Raven was at the edge of her seat. With each super badass fight scene and move that Diana did, she felt like she was on top of the world and that nothing could stop her. It wasn’t until Raven booed, actually booed, when her male love interest came on that Luna suggested maybe she relax a little. So even though she was seething, Raven sat back, but she didn’t relax. No. She couldn’t relax. She was working on a very important, incredibly high risk mission of her own. She was going to try and pull off: the arm around the shoulder move. 

Now for most people this move is nothing. Middle schoolers do it when they go on dates, but Raven had never done it before, so she was nervous. Very nervous. Like  _ why are my palms so sweaty  _ nervous. But she was also very determined. And if there was one thing Raven Reyes was not, it’s a quitter. So summoning up all her courage, she stretched, letting out a yawn as her arm reached around Luna’s shoulder. Surprisingly, Luna was caught somewhat off guard at this. She hadn’t expected Raven to make a move like that, but now that she had, she melted into the embrace. But as they both sighed contently, Octavia rolled her eyes at the entire thing. 

After that the movie continued on pretty uneventfully until Luna decided to make a move of her own. She knew Raven wouldn’t want to miss any good part of the movie, so she timed it until Diana and “Ugly McDumbass” as Raven called him, had a gushy scene, before she acted. And once she did things went pretty quickly. The moment she heard Raven groan and roll her eyes at the screen, Luna got out of her seat and moved to straddle Raven’s lap. Raven’s eyes widened at the sudden movement. 

“Lu? What are you doing?” She squeaked out in a hushed whisper. 

“Oh nothing good’s happening. Just kiss me.”

And before she could respond, Luna connected their lips. Octavia, who, like she predicted, hadn’t been able to watch the movie, instead watched this unfold, internally gagging the entire time. But just as their kiss deepened, and Raven let out soft moan, a sound that Octavia really wouldn’t mind hearing in any other situation, someone behind them got fed up with it. 

Raven’s hands had just fallen to Luna’s hips, pulling her closer, when the familiar scent of buttered popcorn overtook them. Literally overtook them, as in they were covered in it. They both looked at each other, confused, since they hadn’t even bought popcorn, but a voice behind them soon cleared all that up.

“Oops, my bad it slipped.”

Luna looked up with fire in her eyes. “I should have known it was you, you little shit.”

“What do you  _ not  _ like being interrupted on a date?  I wonder what that’s like?” The angry voice of Anya retorted. 

Suddenly they were both standing, looking ready to fight each other until Raven pulled Luna down by her arm and looked pleadingly at Anya. “Can we please not do this here? The movie is almost over and I really want to see it.”

Still mumbling curses at each other, they both say down defeatedly. But the moment the movie ended they were at each other’s throats again. 

“I can’t believe you would do this Anya! Trying to sabotage me!” Luna growled. 

“ _ Me  _ sabotage  _ you?  _ That’s rich coming from  _ Ms. Fancy Seeing You Here. _ ” Anya snarled back. 

“That was a coincidence! I was just going to get dinner!”

Anya threw her arms up in the air. “Suuuuuure you were!”

“Are you calling me a liar?” Luna asked, taking an angry step forward.

“Well what else do you call people who lie?” 

“I’m not lying!” Luna protested. 

Anya simply rolled her eyes. “Riiight _.  _ And I’m  _ not  _ captain of the soccer team _. _ ” 

Luna gave a slow clap at that. “Theeeeere it is! Making everything about you! Got anything else you’d like to brag about.”

“Oh fuck you!” Anya shouted. 

“Fuck  _ you!” _

Even though she desperately wanted to scream “ _ No you’re supposed to fuck me”  _ to interrupt them, Raven just stepped between them. “Guys, please, at least let’s leave the theater. We’re disturbing people.”

With a huff, Anya turned to leave with Luna quickly following her. Raven sighed, and quickly grabbed all their food and coats and scurried after them. But what she was not expecting was to see Anya holding Luna in a headlock.

“Anya! Let go!” 

Seeing Raven standing in front of them, Anya immediately released Luna’s head, leaving her hair even wilder than normal. 

“Okay I think we all need to go and calm down.” Raven said, trying to soothe the two fuming girls. “Here Lu take your coat, and let’s go take a walk, and Anya you can wait here and we can all talk when we get back. Sound good?”

“Fine.” Luna and Anya mumbled in unison. 

Raven, let out a breath. “Good. Now let’s go.” 

But neither Anya nor Luna was ready to let it go, so when Raven turned to throw out the now empty popcorn bucket, Anya purposefully bumped into Luna’s shoulder. Still mad about being put in a headlock, Luna shoved her right back. Only Anya wasn’t expecting it to be so hard and she lost her balance. Flailing backwards, she knocked into Raven, who in turn fell forward into someone about to go into the theater. Unluckily for her, the person had just bought an ice cold slushee which was now covering from head to toe. 

Luna and Anya immediately rushed over to help her, wincing for her when they saw just how much sticky blue ice was covering her. 

“Ummm I think we should go to the bathroom.” Luna suggested, noticing that Raven was dripping on the carpeted floor. 

When she didn’t protest they slowly helped her waddle over to the bathroom, feeling incredibly guilty as she sucked in a breath with each step as the ice moved, making her even colder.

The second they stepped into the bathroom, Luna grabbed some paper towels, and started wiping madly, trying to get as much of the ice off of her as possible. But they quickly realised that the majority of the drink had landed right on her lower stomach and the crotch of her pants, some of it even getting into her underwear, which resulted in a very uncomfortable Raven. 

Before she even knew what was happening, both Luna and Anya were crouching down and dabbing at her crotch. They all seemed to have a moment of clarity when they realized exactly  _ where  _ they were trying to dry, and both girls stopped immediately, slowly pulling back. 

“You know maybe so we’re not just all up in your business you could just take of your pants.” Anya thought out loud. 

“That actually could be a good idea.” Luna agreed. “We could rinse them out in the sink if we do that.”

Raven shrugged. “Yeah that’s fine.” 

Taking in a deep breath, she slowly pushed down her sweatpants so that they were bunched up at her ankles, but rather than help her take them off to go rinse them, Luna just stared. 

“Your y-your underwear is wet too.”

“Uh huh.” Raven said through gritted teeth. “Good observation. It’s very  _ fucking  _ cold.”

“Well here, let’s dry them.” Anya added a little eagerly, as she moved to wipe away some of the ice.

Raven shivered at the sensation, but was grateful that some of the cold was going away. 

Moment later the the bathroom door opened, and Octavia walked in, but she stopped short at the scene in front of her. “Oh.” 

Raven looked up to see her watching confusedly as Luna and Anya were on their knees while Raven’s pants were down. “Oh my god! Octavia. This is- this is um.. Not what it looks like.” She stuttered. 

But Octavia didn’t really care. In fact she had barely noticed Anya or Luna at all. She was a little preoccupied with Raven’s pants hanging around her ankles. Sure they had changed in front of each other before, but Octavia had never seen her from the front with her pants down. And she was liking the view. 

Suddenly growing self conscious under what she thought was a judgemental stare, Raven tried to cover herself. At the movement, Octavia snapped out of her little daze, and realized all three of the girls were staring questioningly at her. Blushing profusely she quickly turned and ran out the door, leaving an equally flustered Raven. 

They continued drying off in silence. 

Once Raven’s pants had been dried   _ enough  _  by the hand dryer, and she was no longer a sticky mess, she got dressed and the three stood in awkward silence. 

Raven was the first to break it. “Sooo…”

“Raven I’m so sorry!” Luna said, reaching out touch her shoulder. 

“No  _ I’m  _ sorry. I shouldn’t have crashed your date.” Anya admitted defeatedly, hanging her head.

“We were both just being idiots.”

“Yeah, so don’t you see why we need you to just pick one of us.” Anya pressed, hoping that maybe she could make a decision right then. 

“Yeah. I get it. I wish I didn’t have to, but I get it.” Raven nodded in understanding. “But I need some time to think about it.”

Luna looked a little disappointed, but smiled nonetheless. “That’s totally understandable.” 

“Can you tell us on Monday?” Anya asked hopefully. 

“Yeah I guess so. I’ll see you Monday.”

 

OoOoOoO

 

When Raven heard the sound of two hands making contact with the lockers next to her, she knew just what to expect. Shutting her locker, she turned with a smile to see Luna and Anya hovering next to her. “What a surprise! You guys  _ do _ know you don’t have to always do the  _ oh so stereotypical _ ‘high school movie cool guy lean’ when you want to talk to me at my locker, right?”

Noticing that Anya quickly retracted her arm to cross it over her chest, Raven smirked slightly, but Luna didn’t budge. “Wow insulting us before even saying hello.” She shook her head smiling. “It’s great to see you too Raven.” 

Raven just stared up lovingly at her before dramatically exclaiming. “Fine I missed you. I don’t know  _ how  _  I survived fourteen whole hours without you.”

“And to think we came over here to be nice to you.” Anya huffed rolling her eyes. 

As she turned to leave, Raven grabbed her arm. “Anya wait. I’m sorry I really did miss you guys.”

Luna groaned as she watched Anya start to fall for Raven’s puppy dog eyes. And she groaned even louder when the small brunette got up on her tiptoes for a quick kiss. “Can we please stick with the real reason we came here Anya?”

Slightly confused, Raven cocked her head when she turned back to Luna. “What’s the real reason?”

“You have a decision to make.”

When the realization finally hit her, Raven’s face fell. After having such a nice weekend with both girls, she couldn’t bare even the thought of picking just one of them. Sure things hadn’t gone exactly as planned, but there were nice moments in each date. But her biggest problem was that she hadn’t even been trying to decide who was better on the dates. She was just having fun. Genuine fun... for the most part. So now she had two expectant people waiting for her to make a spur of the moment decision that could greatly change her entire life. Well maybe not her entire life, but it was a big deal. 

Trying to buy time until the bell rang and she would be able to run away to class, Raven mustered up her best innocent look. “What decision?”

Anya narrowed her eyes. “Who you’re going to date. Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“What? No! Of course not! How could I forget something like that? I’ve definitely put a lot of thought into this decision. I mean it’s not like I just completely forgot and didn’t even consider picking one of you. I mean that would be crazy! Who do you-”

Sensing that Raven was trying to use her rambling as an excuse to not answer, Luna joined Anya in crossing her arms and cut her off. “Okay so who’s it going to be?”

“Uhhhh. Well you see… I… I” Raven hung her head in defeat. She didn’t want to see the disappointment on their faces when she told them the truth. “Look I’m sorry but I don’t think that I-”

“We know, we know. You can’t just pick one of us.”

Raven looked up to stare at Anya. Was that anger in her voice? She didn’t  _ look  _ mad. Unsure, she turned to Luna to see her reaction as well. “Y-yeah. Is that a problem? Because I understand if it is. I mean I wouldn’t expec-”

“Not at all.” Anya shrugged. 

“What?” Raven was completely shocked. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying. Do you really want to b-

Suddenly Luna was right in front of her, a single finger pressing into Raven’s lips. Getting the message, she instantly shut up and gave all her attention to the girl staring intensely into her eyes. 

“We figured you wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or anything. So…” Breaking their gaze for a moment, Luna turned to lock eyes with Anya. “Anya and I decided that we would be okay with the both of us sharing you.”

“Y-you would?”

Luna chuckled softly, and raised an eyebrow instantly making Raven’s breath hitch. “Yeah. We’ve put everything behind us, but if we’re gonna do this, we’re doing this by our rules. Think you can handle that?” Raven nodded vigorously. “Perfect. First of all, whenever possible all three of us have to go on dates together,  _ but  _ if it is a one on one date, you have to tell everyone in advance. Number two, no picking favorites. And number three is just have fun.” Luna finished with a wink that made Raven want to just melt to the floor. 

Nearly a minute passed before Raven realized that Luna was still standing in front of her looking down expectantly. “So does that work you?”

“Oh absolutely! 

“Good.” Luna purred, leaning in so that Raven could feel the warmth of her breath tickle her neck. “There’s just one more thing…” 

Raven’s heart stopped. What was she going to say? Was this all a joke? Of course this was too good to be true. Sensing her panic, Anya stepped closer and leaned against the locker, waiting to see Raven’s reaction to what Luna was about to say. 

“When we  _ do  _ have sex… It has to be with all of us at the same time.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter 11... finally. It's a little bit longer than what I normally write so I hope that makes up for it.   
> So here were their very dramatic dates, what did you think? Octavia is pretty jealous now, but that is just getting started  
> I do have a question: I have an idea for a sex scene and how it would go down between Luna Anya and Raven, but would you guys want that?
> 
> Thanks for reading and all the kudos and comments. I hope you enjoy!


	12. Chapter 12

 

Just a week after their ultimatum, Raven decided she was ready, and by that Friday, they had already booked a hotel room for the weekend, and almost the entire school knew about it. 

 

OoOoOoO

 

“You’re what?!” 

“SHHHHHHH!” Luna hushed, looking around to make sure no one could hear them. “Can you keep it down!? I don’t want the  _ entire  _ school to know about this!” 

“But this is huge!” Ontari cried gleefully, shaking Luna by her shoulders. “And that’s what she said! Ha! And that’s what  _ you’ll  _ say! DOUBLE HA!” Noticing the not amused look on Luna’s face, Ontari tried to stop her fit of laughter, but just couldn’t. 

Unlike, Becca, Alie, and Ontari, Octavia was definitely not laughing. Instead she was glaring at Luna, as the taller girl shook her head. 

“Can you not be like this? If I had known you’d react this way I never would have told you in the first place!”

“I can’t be excited that you’re about to get the ride of your life?” Ontari questioned, waggling her eyebrows. 

“OH MY GOD!” Luna cringed.  “Can you not say it like that?”

“What are you telling me you’re  _ not  _ going to ride the hell out of that monster dick?” Ontari deadpanned, not breaking eye contact with a blushing Luna. “Oh! Wait! Are you nervous?”

“What! Why would I be nervous?” Luna blushed furiously, quickly averting her eyes.

“Because she might give it to you good that you can’t walk for a week? Because she might ruin regular dick for you?  Because she might be so big tha-”

“Okay we get it!” Octavia cut in, sounding a lot harsher than she intended. All eyes turned to her, making her realize how jealous that sounded. And she definitely was  _ not  _ jealous. “I mean you don’t want to like psych her out Ontari.” she offered, trying to seem sincere. 

“No it’s not that.” Luna started. “I just… She’s really sweet and I think I really like her, and I don’t want to mess anything up.”

Octavia rolled her eyes.  _ Of course she has a disgustingly sweet reason.  _

“Mhhhhm. Sure.” Ontari smirked. “I’m sure that’s the  _ ooonly  _ reason.”

“Oh my god!” Luna groaned, getting up to walk away. “I’m never talking to you about this again.”

“But you are telling us all the details!” Ontari called out, chasing after her. “You better tell us every disgustingly sexy detail you lucky lucky girl!”

It took every ounce of self control Octavia possessed, to put on a fake smile and just walk away. But when she saw Raven talking to Anya as she walked past them, she lost it. Not able to watch her anymore, she dashed into the nearest room she could find, which happened to be a girls bathroom (thankfully). 

The minute the door closed behind her, Octavia darted to the last stall. If she  _ did  _ cry, which she  _ wasn’t  _ going to do, she at least wanted some privacy. But she definitely wasn’t going to cry. She didn’t even have a reason to. It was her fault that Raven’s life was turning out like this, and now she didn’t have the courage to tell her  _ why  _ she did what she did. 

Unfortunately, her thoughts were interrupted when the laughter of a cohort of girls burst into the room. Octavia tried to tune them out, preferring to wallow in her own misery, but when she heard Raven’s name she perked up.

But she wished she hadn’t when she heard the horrendously high pitched voice that spoke next. “I just can’t believe they’re going through with it.”

Someone incredibly excited was the first to respond. “Ugh! I know right! #Jealous!”

“Did you really just say the word hashtag out loud and mean it?” 

“Oh shut up! You’re just #Jealous that she didn’t pick you!”

Octavia rolled her eyes. Whatever it was they were talking about sounded incredibly stupid. 

“Oh whatever.  _ You  _ are just jealous that she picked Anya over you!”

Octavia frowned as she started to piece everything together. Moving to look out the crack in the stall she could just make out a blonde that looked rather smug. 

“I am not!”

Hashtag girl pouted as blondie continued. “Oh come on we all are. I mean sure Luna… I can definitely see. One day at a volleyball practice Raven was literally drooling over her. But Anya just came out of left field.”

Suddenly another girl moved in front of the mirror as she began applying lipstick and  _ of course  _ she had to say something too. “I know! I mean sure she’s like pretty, but who thought she’d pull ahead to win the whole bet.”

“Well actually it’s a tie.” Hashtag corrected. 

The more she heard, the more Octavia actually felt disgusted. Seething, she wanted to burst out and yell at them, but another part of her wanted to understand what exactly was happening, no one had bothered to tell her about this ‘bet’ in the first place. 

“What do you mean?” Lips asked, clearly confused 

“Well all three of them are gonna.. You know…  _ do it _ together.” Squeaky McGee explained, making some gesture that made the other three girls gasp.  

“WHAT!” OMG NO!”

“Stop saying ‘OMG’ out loud, no one does that.” Blondie scoffed, clearly annoyed with everything that Hashtag said. 

“I’m sorry! I’m just surprised. I really thought I had a chance.” Octavia couldn’t see her face, but could practically hear her pout at that. 

“Puhlease! You actually thought she’d sleep with  _ your  _ ugly ass over me?” Lipstick scoffed, pushing passed the rest of them to get to her purse.

“Well  _ I  _ heard that she’ll sleep with anything. Rumor has it she’s still a virgin.” Hashtag giggled, feeling important for adding something else. 

“Are you kidding me? She’s hung! How could anyone resist her?”

“I don’t believe it! I just heard it! God!”

“Don’t be an idiot!” Squeaky squeaked. 

Blondie nodded in agreement. “Just shut up! And stop being jealous!” 

“I’m not jealous! It’s just… the next time someone makes a bet can somebody at least tell me about it while I still have a chance?” Hashtag begged, moving from her seat on the sink. 

“You still wouldn’t win!”

“I could too!”

“Well prove it!”

“Oh my gooood!  For once can we not talk about whatever stupid bet about sleeping with whoever and just be normal? I’m sick of it.” 

With that, the new voice stormed out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. After a moment of silence, the others followed, chattering about something new. 

Octavia just stood there dumbfounded, she didn’t know what to think, she didn’t know what to feel. But she did know that she had to warn Raven. 

 

ooo

 

After school Octavia waited by the south entrance for hours. Don’t ask how how, but she knew that Raven would be working in the engineering lab until 5, but nearly two hours later, the girl still hadn’t shown.  Too determined to leave now, Octavia started pacing back and forth until she heard a familiar laugh from down the hall. Not wanting to be spotted too early, giving Raven a chance to avoid her, Octavia hid behind a corner to wait. 

Just a minute later, a cheery looking Raven, sauntered by. And if anything she heard today was true, she really did have a reason to be happy. But Octavia wasn’t trying to take away her happiness, she had vowed to never do that again, she was trying to help her avoid the pain that might come in the future, if she let her continue on with her plans for the evening. 

Deciding it was her moment to act, Octavia jumped out from behind the locker, thoroughly startling Raven. “Raven we nee-”

“Holy crap!” The brown haired girl’s eyes widened with fear before the realization that she wasn’t in any harm. “Shit O! What is wrong with you? You can’t just go around scaring people!”

“Oh sorry.” Octavia mumbled, already feeling guilty. “I just needed to talk to you… before.... Well before you  left school.”

Raven eyed her skeptically. “Well I have somewhere to be, so what is it?”

_ I’m sure you have somewhere veeery important to be.  _ “Well it’s actually about that.” Octavia started, trying to gauge Raven’s feelings by her expression. “I know about… umm… what you’re about to go do… god this is awkward. And I came to tell you that you shouldn’t go.”

Raven crossed her arms, “And why hell not?”

“Well… because. I don’t think it’s going to end well and I-”

Holding up a hand, Raven cut her off. “You know there  _ was  _ a time when I probably would have listened to your advice Octavia.” she looked like she was getting slightly angry, but Octavia couldn’t focus on that. All she was thinking about was how Raven had just called her Octavia again… no more O. “But you lost that  _ privilege  _ when you lost me.” Octavia’s jaw dropped, but Raven wasn’t done. “You may be in my life again, but that was completely by chance.”  _ Or maybe fate,  _ Octavia couldn’t help but think. “So since you decided you didn’t want to be my best friend anymore, I don’t have to follow any advice that you give, and I certainly don’t have to stand here and listen to you give it.”

Raven turned to leave, but Octavia grabbed her wrist. “Raven wait, you can’t go! It’s just a bet!”

For a split second, Raven’s face fell, but that was quickly replaced by rage. “What are you talking about?”

“I-in the bathroom earlier I heard a couple girls talking about how Luna and Anya were going to win some bet today after they slept with you.” Octavia quickly spat out, not wanting to pain Raven by dragging through it to slowly. 

“You’re lying!” Raven snapped, evident tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

“I swear I’m not.” Octavia insisted, trying to seem genuine.

Raven’s voice was a lot softer now, almost defeated. “They wouldn’t…” Octavia moved to put her hand on Raven’s shoulder, but the fuming Latina just pulled away, demeanor completely changing. “Don’t touch me! You’re just making this up to make me miserable! Since that seems to be your favorite thing to do!”

“Raven honestly I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You don’t want me to get hurt?” Raven let out a harsh chuckle that made Octavia shiver. “Well you should have thought about that before  _ YOU  _ FUCKING HURT ME!”

“Well I’m just trying to make sure you don’t get hurt again.”

“Well you don’t need to! After you made me come out again FOR THE SECOND TIME, I had to fight off tons of girls who just wanted to win your stupid bet. But Anya and Luna are different! They treat me like I’m normal! They actually care about me!”

Trying to get her point across Octavia nearly shouted.   “ _ I  _ care about you!”  

“Oh  _ you  _ care about me?” Raven snapped, crossing her arms. 

Octavia looked almost hurt that she didn’t believe her. “Of course!”

“THEN WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?”

“What?” Startled by the sudden volume of her voice, Octavia was dumbfounded.

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN I GOT BULLIED EVERY DAY? WHEN I GOT HARASSED EVERY SECOND OF EVERY MINUTE?”

“Raven I-”

“WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I CRIED EVERY DAY?” Tears were now streaming down her cheeks as she continued to scream. 

“Rae-”

“WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I DIDN’T LEAVE MY ROOM FOR A WEEK?”

“Pleas-”

“WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I JUST DIDN’T CARE ANYMORE AND WANTED TO DIE?”

Pulling up her sleeve to reveal scars along her wrist wrist and forearms, Raven’s face was now as red as her favorite jacket. 

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST?” Octavia could hear the crack in her voice as she finished. She had never seen Raven look so defeated, and when she looked up with tear stained cheeks, and red eyes, Octavia’s heart broke. With one final breath Raven screamed. “I FUCKING LOVED YOU YOU KNOW?” after a minute, in a much smaller voice, she managed to hoarsely whisper. “And you crushed me!” 

Both of them were crying now. “Raven I had no idea…”

“Oh wait! I remember!” Raven declared in mock surprise. You were here. Living it up with your new friends, completely forgetting I existed.”

Choking back her own sobs, Octavia struggled to meet Raven’s piercing eyes. “Raven I’m so sorry. I didn’t know about any of that. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never meant to hurt you. It kills me every day that I made you go through that. And if I could take away all of your pain I would. In an instant. You may hate me, but just know that I’m here for you. Just know that I care.”

For a moment Raven looked like she was going to forgive her, but that lasted all of two seconds before her face hardened again. “I might have needed you then… but I sure as  _ hell  _ don’t need you now.”

“Raven please…”

“So if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to go be with people who  _ actually  _ care about me.”

With that, Raven turned and started to walk away, but Octavia was too upset to move. Sobs wracking her chest she called out. “Raven wait!” But Raven just kept on walking. Falling to her knees, Octavia cried harder, her tears darkening the cold concrete beneath her. As she watched Raven retreat, not even bothering to look back at her, Octavia felt her throat tighten as she tried to choke back her wails. She tried calling out again, to no avail, and eventually settled for putting her face in her hands and sobbing. She only looked up once more, and by then Raven was out of earshot, but that didn’t stop her from one last attempt at a shout. Well it was meant to be a shout, but it really came out as a whisper

“I... love you”

 

OoOoOoO

 

Raven was on edge. No not on edge. She had just fallen off the entire fucking cliff and was slowly plummeting to the ground as her life flashed before her eyes. 

To say the least, she was terrified. 

And Octavia wasn’t helping. 

Everybody knows that when you make a dramatic exit, you’re not supposed to look back. You’re never supposed to  look back. It either makes you look weak and takes away from the badassery, or it makes you regret whatever you just left. But Raven looked anyway. And she really regretted it. 

Through tear blurred eyes, she could just make out a figure fallen to the floor on their knees. If she wasn’t so hysterical Raven would have sworn that Octavia was crying too. But why would she be? She didn’t care… right?  For one split second Raven was about to go back to her. She just wanted to wrap the girl up in a hug and tell her everything was going to be okay. Just like what she wanted more than anything else when she spent her nights crying herself to sleep. But she quickly shook away those thoughts. No matter how much she loved that girl, she was the cause of those many sleepless nights. She doesn’t deserve you.  _ She doesn’t deserve you.  _

With Lexa’s words playing on repeat, Raven somehow managed to stumble all the way to her car. But when she got inside, she couldn’t bring herself to start it. She didn’t want to leave Octavia all alone. Distraught, she just started crying harder as her head fell to the handle of the steering wheel. Unable to hold back any longer, her fists, seemingly with a mind of their own, began hammering down on anything they could reach. Unsurprisingly, when she hit the center of the steering wheel the horn went off. 

Startled by the loud noise, Raven’s head whipped up. But when she looked across the parking lot, she wished she hadn’t. Octavia had followed her and was now standing at the front door, obvious tears streaming down her face. The sight alone broke Raven’s heart. Well the pieces she had finally managed to put back together that is. 

As their eyes met across the lot, time seemed to freeze. Staring into the familiar blue orbs, made all their amazing memories come flooding back. All their happiness, joy, adventures...love. All that was missing was a storm to make their dramatic reunion picture perfect as they kissed in the rain. And being the hopeless romantic that she was, Raven wanted nothing more to run into Octavia’s arms. 

But just as she was about to get out of the car. Her phone went off. 

 

**Luna (7:22): You coming?**

Raven stared at the message. Then back at Octavia. Then back at her phone. But when she looked back to Octavia, the rest of her memories came back as well. All the hurt, betrayal, broken hearts.  _ Heart. Only one of us got hurt. She broke  _ **_your_ ** _ heart Raven. Snap out of it!  _  So with one last longing glance, Raven picked up her phone.

**Raven (7:23): I’m just leaving**

**Luna (7:23): Good… we’ll  be waiting ;)**

 

With that, Raven started the car, and pulled away from the school. And this time she didn’t look  back. But if she could have changed that decision, if she could have gone back to that moment and done it differently, if she could have stolen just one little look, she would have. A thousand times over. 

 

ooo

 

But while everything was happening between Octavia and Raven, Anya and Luna were having a standoff of their own. 

When Raven told them she was ready, they were ecstatic. They couldn’t hide how excited they were. But for Raven’s sake, they tried not to make it a big deal. In front of her at least. Now, alone, they were both very eager, and very  _ very  _ competitive. 

“Is that really what you’re going to wear?”

Luna scowled at a smirking Anya. “Do  _ you  _ really want to be asking that granny panties?”

Anya gasped. “Granny panties?! In what world- who do you think you- God you’re so annoying!”

Having successfully made Anya storm out of the room, Luna grinned triumphantly. Getting comfortable on the bed, she picked up her phone to send a text to Raven. They had agreed to meet at 7 o’clock, but now, nearly 20 minutes later, she was yet to show, so naturally both girls were getting a little nervous. But when Raven responded almost immediately, Luna relaxed immensely.

This night was about to get very fun. 

“Ahn! Raven’ll be here soon! Get your hot mess of a self out here!”

But when Anya stepped out of the bathroom, hot mess was far from how Luna would describe her. She looked… just hot? 

“Feast your eyes!” Anya said smugly as she gave a little twirl, showing off her bright red bra and matching panties. “Granny panties my ass!”

“Well you do have a nice ass.” Luna remarked, eyes not leaving the the dirty blonde.  _ Dirty blonde indeed.  _

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, Anya blushed. “Oh shut up. What were you just  saying about Raven?”

“She just left school, so she should be here soon.”

Anya breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh good. I thought she wasn’t going to show.” 

“I know me too. So I think we have to take it slow tonight.” Luna said, suddenly becoming serious. “Like I know we want to blow her mind, and make tonight amazing, but we have to remember that she’s… never done anything like this before.”

“Of course!” Anya immediately agreed. “Tonight’s about her… and speaking of.” running her eyes over Luna’s attire, she raised an eyebrow. “Is that really how you’re planning on blowing her mind? A short robe?”

“Please.” Luna scoffed, seeming almost insulted. “I always bring my A game. I just didn’t want to blow her mind the second she walked in the door.”

“Or maybe you just didn’t want to be outshone by me. I mean I know it  _ is  _ hard to top all this, but you shouldn’t be afraid.” Anya challenged, with a devilish smile.

“Oh I’m not afraid.”

Getting up off the bed, Luna dramatically threw her robe off her shoulders, revealing the matching navy blue lace lingerie she was wearing below. Anya’s jaw dropped. 

Noticing Anya’s flustered demeanor, and the deep crimson her cheeks were turning as she continued to stare, Luna smirked. “Like I said, I didn’t want to blow her mind too soon.”

But before Anya could respond, they heard a bag drop, and someone beginning to fiddle with the door knob. After sharing a quick look, Luna jumped onto the bed, followed by Anya. As they tried to look as seductive as possible, lounged out on the king bed the door finally opened. 

But they both sat upright when they noticed Raven’s distressed appearance. Tears still cascading down her cheeks, she made her way over to the bed where she fell face first with a sob. Anya and Luna looked to each other in shock. Not knowing what to do as Raven’s shoulders heaved up and down violently, Luna simply started running her hand up and down her back in an effort to soothe her. 

“Raven are you okay?” she asked softly. 

Raven just shook her head, pushing her face further into the comforter. 

“Do you- do you want to talk about it?”

After a minute, a muffled no came from Raven as she cried even harder. 

Not wanting to push her any further, and risk making ber more upset, Luna simply lied next to her and continued rubbing her back. After a minute, Anya did the same. They sat in silence, apart from Raven’s muffled whimpering, until finally, her cries stopped. She waited another minute before turning over, nervous to face the her girlfriends with her love problems, but eventually she mustered up the courage.

Immediately she covered her face with her hands, but Anya took her movement as a good sign. “Rae... Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

Raven sighed. “It’s just- you guys probably don’t even want to hear it.”

“Of course we do!” Luna cut in. “We’re your girlfriends! We care about you!”

Looking up with still teary eyes, Raven started to mumble. “That’s the thing. You shouldn’t care about me. I’m damaged goods.”

Anya frowned. “Damaged goods? What are you talking about?”

“It’s a long story.” Raven sniffled, still not wanting to make eye contact. 

“Hey.” Luna cooed, hooking her finger under Raven’s chin, forcing her to look up. “Babe  we’ve got all night, and we really do care about you, so we want to know what’s wrong.” 

Raven took a deep breath. “It all started with Octavia…”

So for the better part of the next hour Raven told her story. And now that she was telling it for the second time it felt easier. But she also felt ten times worse. Because here she was sitting with her two amazing girlfriends talking about how she fell in love with her straight best friend, and how she then went on to ruin her life. It was a lot to take in, but Anya and Luna held their own, keeping their reactions somewhat minimal in an effort to not take away from Raven’s moment. Raven had relaxed significantly when the two assured her that they were in no part of any bet, but she was still upset. 

Finally coming to a close, Raven made a point of looking at both of them so she could see their faces when she gave her big finish. “I loved her... I really did. But the problem is… I still do... God ! I don’t even know why.... But I do.  I really fucking love her. I love her so much it hurts. And it really fucking hurts. It hurts to love someone who’s never going to love you back. It hurts to know that the one person you gave your heart, threw it away like it was nothing. And just… just… at the same time that I think I can never be happy without her… I remember how unhappy she’s made me in the past and it hurts all over again. And  _ then  _ you two… are just  _ so  _ good to me. And I know I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. Because you guys are so sweet and amazing, and I’m just broken. And if my own best friend, the person who knew me the best couldn’t even love me back… why would anyone?”

Raven couldn’t hold back any longer. She had been fine for most of her story, only crying a little. But now the floodgates reopened. Only this time, Luna didn’t even think before she pulled Raven into a hug.

“Don’t you even say that. You’re sweet, and amazing, and kind, and so  _ so  _ strong. And screw what Octavia  says because  _ I  _ love you.” 

Her words lingered in the air for a moment, as the room silenced. Even Raven’s crying stopped as her breath caught in her throat. After a moment she wanted to take it back, but before she could, Anya joined their embrace. 

“ _ I _ love you too.”

Raven’s tears started again, but squished between two girls giving her nothing but love, she felt so safe, so warm… so loved. But something felt like it was missing. And Raven knew that she should love them back, she  _ wanted  _ to love them back. But could you fully love someone new if you still loved someone old? As she felt Anya squeeze her tighter, Raven realized what a stupid question that was. She didn’t know anything about love. And why should there even  _ be  _ rules about love? Here she was with two people she wanted to love, that’s surely unusual. 

So why couldn’t she love Octavia too? Even if it hurt. But if it did hurt, she’d have these two amazing people to hold her like this, doing just the thing she wanted all those nights when she just couldn’t deal with life anymore. 

Feeling Raven tense under her arms, Luna started running her hand over the top of her head, smoothing out her wild hair. “It’s okay. I know it’s a lot, you don’t even have to say it back. Just know that we do love you. No matter what.”

That just made Raven cry harder. “But I do! I do love you!” Much quieter, she couldn’t help but whisper. “It’s just... I love  _ her  _ too.”

With that Luna and Anya started crying too. They were all just so emotional. Based off their reaction, it was safe to assume they hadn’t heard the second part of her declaration, so Raven didn’t say anything, just let them hold her.

But eventually, all three of them got a little tired and decided it was best to just go to sleep. Reluctantly, Raven got up and went to the bathroom. After washing her face, from all the tears she had cried that night, Raven felt much better and was finally ready to go to sleep. But when she walked back to the bed, she instantly blushed at the sight of two half naked girls just lounging on top of the blankets. 

Upon noticing Raven’s complexion, Luna sat up, worry creasing her face. “Babe? Are you okay? Is something wrong?”

“OH uh it’s nothing.” Raven stuttered, diverting her eyes to the ground. “It’s just… were you guys wearing that the whole time.”

Having nearly forgotten about their clothing situation, Anya smirked at the realization. “Yeah we wanted to surprise you… but then we got a little off topic.”

“Oh my god!” Raven groaned, falling to the bed. “I totally ruined the whole night. I’m so sorry!”

Seeing her get worked up again, Luna pulled her in for a hug again, but this time, Raven was acutely aware of her lack of clothes as they pressed together. Blushing furiously, she gave Luna an awkward pat on the back before pulling away.

“You didn’t ruin anything.” Luna assured, pulling back the comforter. “So why don’t we end this perfectly not ruined night with some cuddles?”

Raven gave a small nod, and crawled under the covers, settling in between the two taller girls. Anya turned out the light, and once darkness overtook them, the three moved closer together, both Luna and Anya holding Raven at the same time. 

Feeling overwhelmed with love, Raven couldn’t help but whisper again. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Luna whispered back, nuzzling against Raven’s head.

Raven could feel Anya’s smile as she tiredly spoke up too. “And I love you too.” 

She said it, like she meant it, and truthfully she did. But somehow it felt wrong. Somehow Raven felt like she wasn’t allowed to say it, like she wasn’t even allowed to feel it. Conflicted, she couldn’t fall asleep. Wanting  nothing more than to toss and turn, Raven suddenly disliked the feeling of having two people at her side. 

Finally giving up, Raven let out a loud sigh as she stared up at the ceiling, willing sleep to overtake her. But just as she was about to drift off into her much wanted slumber, she suddenly realized why she was so uncomfortable, what exactly was missing. 

Closing her eyes, she let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding in. Feeling much calmer, she looked out the window to gaze at the nearly full moon lighting up the night's sky before turning to look back at her two peacefully sleeping girlfriends. 

“But I love Octavia too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VOILA it's chapter 12! And can I just say THANK YOU! I never though that this story would get many views, and here we are at 6k. It just really means a lot to me so thank you, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know it's not great and a little dramatic and weird, so I hope you don't hate it. 
> 
> Will Octavia and Raven ever have a conversation where one of them doesn't walk away angry or leave before the other person is finished talking? Will Raven ever stop loving Octavia? Will Octaven ever actually happen? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW! But you probably will if you keep reading this story. 
> 
> IMPORTANT QUESTION THAT WILL CHANGE THE ENTIRE COURSE OF THE BOOK:  
> Okay so it might not change anything in the long term, but you might care in the short term if you're impatient. QUESTION IS: Do you want a Lanyaven (is that their ship name) sex scene in the next chapter? Because I could also just post it as a one shot. The reason I ask is not because it will prevent Raven and Octavia from getting together, it will just make their eventual getting together take like one chapter longer, and yes that's not very long, but I thought I'd ask for your opinions anyway. So let me know what you think. 
> 
> I know this is a long note, so I'm done, but Thank you for kudoses and comments, and I hope you enjoy!


	13. Chapter 13

Raven woke up feeling very cold.

Unusually so.

She vaguely remembered the conversation from the night before, and falling asleep cuddled between two warm bodies, but here she was, freezing cold in just her boxers and a tank top. Huffing slightly, she slowly opened her eyes to find the source of her curiously cold environment, only to realize that all the blankets had been pulled around a mess of dirty blonde hair on her left. Looking to her right, she saw Luna propped up on an elbow, facing her. But her eyes were locked on something else, and she seemed to not even realize Raven had woken up.

Following her eye line, Raven groaned when she realized the object of Luna's curious stare. _Fucking morning wood._ Too enthralled with scene in front of her, Luna again missed the signs of her movement, much to Raven’s relief. Mortified with the idea of trying to start a conversation while she was so exposed, Raven was happy to let her think that only one part of her was awake.

Letting her head fall to the side, Raven just stared at the entranced beauty beside her. Even though she just woke up, she looked flawless. Her normally crazily curled hair was even wilder with her bed head, and Raven couldn’t help but think of another scenario where she could mess up Luna’s hair like that. Slowly getting lost in her daydream, she didn’t even realize that her eyes were wandering, until she was staring directly at Luna’s chest. A very scantily clad chest covered with a lacy bra that left barely anything to the imagination. Trying to resist the urge to drool, Raven felt herself get harder.

And then Luna gasped.

Raven whipped her head back up only to see Luna’s widened eyes still staring at her throbbing member. When the brunette bit her lip, eyes full of lust, Raven knew she was done for. As her cock twitches under Luna’s hungry gaze, Raven can’t help the shiver that goes through her whole body, but this time Luna _does_ notice. A blush creeping up her cheeks, the older girl slowly turns to lock eyes with the petrified Raven.

“Well good morning.”

Having just gotten up herself, Luna’s voice was thick with sleep, and huskier and sexier than ever. Utterly embarrassed, Raven couldn’t bare to make eye contact. In an effort to escape she flopped over on her side, only to fall against a still sleeping Anya. Feeling the girl mutter and shift against her, Raven realized that  her erection was pressing directly into her thigh. Desperately hoping that she didn’t feel it, Raven jumped out of the bed and sprinted for the bathroom, completely ignoring Luna’s shouts of protest.

At the sudden commotion, Anya lazily sat up, rubbing her eyes. “What’s going on?”

Luna sighed and fell back. “I think I scared Raven away.”

“Already?” Anya yawned, trying to adjust to the light in the room. “What did you do? You couldn’t have even been up for that long.”

“Well…” Luna blushed at the memory. “She um… was aroused....”

Anya just stared at her, a little confused in her sleepy daze. “Aroused…?”

“She… had a boner.”

“Oh. OH!” Anya’s eyes widened at her sudden realization. “Wait a second… so when she was leaning on me earlier… that was her dick?”

“No I don’t think so.” Luna laughed, looking at the bathroom door before lowering her voice. “That was no dick… that was a _fucking fire hose.”_

“Wait, do you mean-”

“It’s even bigger in person.” Luna gushed, biting her lip.

“Are you- a-are you being serious?” Luna just nodded in response. “And I missed it.”

Ignoring the slightly disappointed tone of Anya’s voice, Luna shrugged. “I’m sure if we play our cards right you can see it later.”

Still pouting, Anya leaned back against the headboard. “Well that’s not likely if she stays in the bathroom all day.”

Meanwhile, in said bathroom, Raven was freaking out. It’s not like she hadn’t woken up like that before, but she had never, _never_ been seen by a girl like that. And she had never accidentally touched someone with it. She had never even touched someone with it purposefully. So she was really freaking out.

And to make matter worse, she was still hard. Painfully so. But with her two girlfriends just a door away she really didn’t want to be caught dealing with her _situation._ But she also knew she couldn’t just do nothing and expect it to go away. That would take too long. So she decided to try and take care of it herself. Turning on the sink to mask any noises, she quickly pulled down her boxers and tried to relieve some of the pressure that was building rapidly.

But just as she had reached into her boxers, slowly stroking herself, a knock on the door startled her. “Rae? Are you okay?”

“y-yeah ! I’m fine!” Raven squeaked in response, kicking herself for stuttering.

“Okay. do you want to come out and talk to us?”

Raven panicked, she really didn’t want to go out there like this, but she also didn’t want them to  be suspicious. “Ummm… I’m a little busy right now.”

“We know... That’s what we want to talk to you about.”

Raven froze. Knowing she couldn’t hide forever. She hung her head to try and hide her blush and opened the door. Luckily Anya and Luna weren’t standing right next to it like she expected, so she was able to run and dive headfirst onto the bed, hiding her embarrassment.

“Good morning.”

Raven turned to face Anya, who had a small smirk on her face. Blushing harder she buried her face back in the bed.

“Raven…” Luna started. “We know you’re having a little situation right now, so we want you to know that we’re happy to help.”

Looking up in complete shock, Raven furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

“Well we saw your… umm…” Anya trailed off, looking almost as embarrassed as Raven. Hoping that they all new what she was talking about, she just continued on. “So do you want us to take care of it?”

“And by take care of it you mean…

“Sex. Do you want to have sex?”” Luna blurted out, as if she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Oh… I didn’t know if you guys would still want to.” Raven said, in a quiet voice. “Ya know after last night.”

“Well we all planned to have some fun yesterday, so that means that we all think we’re ready.” Luna explained, silently urging her to say yes. “So if you’re still up for it…”

“I am! I definitely am!” Raven assured, maybe slightly too eagerly. “It’s just that… I’ve never done it before. Like with my dick. I’ve been with girls before. But no one has ever… you know… touched _it._ So I don’t really know what I’m doing with it. _”_

Anya and Luna both knew that Raven  was still a virgin, and they didn’t have a problem with it. Did it make this entire experience slightly more stressful? Yes? But they just wanted to make it special.

Luna put a comforting hand on Raven’s shoulder. “Hey don’t worry about it. We’ll take care of you.”

“Yeah.” Anya agreed, mimicking Luna’s gesture. “We’ll just take it slow.”

“Okay.” Raven sighed rolling over. “I can do slow.”

“Good. “ Luna smiled, locking eyes with Raven, then Luna.

“So how do we start…”

“Well first of all…” Anya cooed, grabbing the hem of Raven’s shirt. “We gotta make it even.”

Before Raven could even blink her shirt was pulled over her head and thrown somewhere across the room. Now they were all just in their underwear. And once again the realization made her cheeks flush, but it also sent blood somewhere else.

Luna’s eyes widened when she saw her dick twitch through her boxers. Not wanting to wait much longer, she straddled Raven against the bed, pushing their lips together hungrily. Raven’s hands naturally fell to the swell of her hips, and pulled her closer, making her moan as she ground against her bulge.

Just as her hands were getting tangled in Luna’s hair, the taller girl sighed and pulled back to let Anya have a turn. It was very clear that the dirty blonde had taken of her bra when Raven felt stiff nipples brush against her own, making her whine with need. But rather than completely straddle her like Luna did, Anya remained on just one side, one of her legs in between Raven’s thighs pressing oh so close to the throbbing bulge in her pants.

Distracted by Anya’s kisses, Raven didn’t even notice that Luna had moved to straddle her other leg. She didn’t notice until she felt her squeeze her over her boxers. It was soft but unrelenting and made Raven whimper. It felt so good. She needed more.  But after another, harder squeeze, her hand moved to cup her cheek and pull her in for another kiss, leaving her painfully hard and in dire need of release.

Once they felt satisfied that Raven was ready, they slowly began to move down her body, stopping when they were level with a prominent bulge, Luna slipped her hand under the waistband. Hearing a gulp, they looked up to see Raven with her eyes screwed shut, her hands at her sides clutching at the sheets, and her bottom lip clenched so firmly between her teeth, it looked like she might draw blood.

Luna smirked. They hadn’t even touched her yet and this was how she was reacting. This was going be fun.

Not wanting to wait any longer, they pulled down the boxers in one swift move, letting her cock spring free. Raven wasn’t sure what to expect next, but grew nervous when nothing happened. Opening her eyes, she was surprised to see Anya and Luna just staring in awe at her thick appendage. Twitching slightly it was just inches away from their face, drawing their eyes to bulging veins, and drops of precum dripping out of a bulbous head.

Slightly worried, Raven cleared her throat, successfully drawing the attention of two pairs of lust filled eyes. “I-it’s big.” Anya said in a small voice, suddenly nervous.

“No. It’s fucking huge.” Luna corrected licking her lips. “Can I- can- c-can I touch it?”

“Y-you can do whatever you want.” Raven panted, desperate for any kind of relief.

Very uncharacteristically, Luna timidly reached out to squeeze her pulsing flesh. Taking Raven’s shudder as a good sign, she slowly began to stroke up and down her shaft. Raven let out a low moan at the contact. Only spurred on further by her reaction, Luna increased her pace making Raven buck her hips into her hand.

Raven had almost completely forgotten about the presence of two people, until a warm wet mouth encompassed her head at the same time that a tongue licked up from the bottom of her shaft.

“O-o-oh s-shit!”

Raven nearly fainted when she felt a hand come down to grip her balls, taking one of them into their mouth and sucking softly. Anya’s hot mouth continued working it’s way, taking more and more of her 10 inches, letting out little gags that only turned her on more. Not able to restrain herself, she thrust up gently, making Anya gag more before pulling away coughing.

Luna rolled her eyes. “Move over and let a pro show you how it’s done.”

Not waiting for a response, she simply pushed Anya out of the way to take Raven in her mouth, expertly flicking her tongue over her head. Raven groaned at that.

More experienced, Luna easily took half of Raven, using her hands to squeeze what she couldn’t reach. Wanting to still be useful Anya began rolling Raven’s balls in one hand while trailing the other up her torso to tweak her nipple.

Raven was a stuttering mess now, loving everything that was happening. “Oh my god. Oh my god. Holy _fucking_ fuck!”

A continuous stream of mumbling came out of Raven’s mouth as Luna continued to suck. But after a minute she pulled back completely, and looked up at the writhing  Raven with an arched eyebrow.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying this so much. But you’re being really loud and are kind of distracting me from literally blowing your mind.”

Nodding rapidly, Raven bit her lip to stop herself from moaning in pleasure, but that didn’t stop her from letting out whimpers. She couldn’t help it. But when Luna sucked particularly harshly on her head, she couldn’t help her moans.

“Ohmygod! _ohmygod! OhMyGod!_ OHMYGOD! Fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck!”

Luna stopped once again. “Raven, babe, I love you, but not so loud.” But once again only half a minute later she was a moaning mess again. “Okay this has got to stop. Ahn shut her up.”

Anya looked up confused. “How am _I_ supposed to shut her up?” Having returned to her previous job, Luna just raised an eyebrow until Anya got the message. “OH!”

Scrambling up from the foot of the bed, her panties were long gone by the time she reached Raven. Pushing down her shoulders that had been propped up on so she could see, Anya quickly straddled her face. Looking down to make sure it was okay she smirked to see that Raven was already mesmerized by her gleaming pussy, before slowly lowering herself down.

Raven wasted no time in diving face first into the heady scent of the girl above her. While she had never actually had sex with her penis, she had done other things with a girl before. _Thank you summer space camp!_ And she definitely knew what she was doing. Based on her gasp, that was clear from the first time she ran her tongue through Anya’s surprisingly wet folds. And when she started paying attention to her clit the usually badass bitch was whimpering like a kitten. Masterfully she weaved her tongue in a figure eight motion, teasing her relentlessly, before sucking her clit and making her scream. Desperately needing more contact, Anya began grinding down into Raven’s wanting mouth, only making the brunette grab onto her ass in response, pulling her closer. Her occasional moans from Luna’s attention, vibrated perfectly against Anya’s core, and combined with Raven’s eager licking, she soon came undone.

As Raven moaned, lapping up as much of her come as possible, Luna became jealous that she wasn’t getting any attention. Giving up on sucking her off, she moved to straddle her waist. Raven barely even noticed the missing contact, until she felt Luna slowly lowering herself onto her thick shaft. Since she was bigger than Luna originally anticipated, she sunk down agonizingly slow, giving herself time to adjust, spewing a soft line of curses and moans. When she felt like she couldn’t take anymore, she looked down to see there was still an inch two or left. The thought of taking it all simultaneously sounded like the opportunity for a mindblowing orgasm or a trip to the hospital.

Deciding to go for it, Luna thrust down harshly letting out a small scream as she was completely filled. Raven let out a low moan at the new warm sensation. Luna couldn’t help her smile as she watched Raven’s hand slip away from Anya’s hip and reach out blindly for her hand. Eagerly accepting it, she brought it up to her mouth to kiss it.

“MMmmmm… Baby you fill me up so good. ‘M so full.”

Raven bucked her hips in response, eliciting a gasp from Luna. Slowly starting to move her own hips, Luna moaned in pleasure. Putting her arms back to brace herself on Raven’s legs she began moving up and down, bouncing faster and faster.

After that a pretty constant stream of moans came from both Luna and Raven, sending Anya over the edge with more vibrations. Panting hard from her second orgasm she looked down to lock gleaming eyes with Raven. She was in heaven. They held eye contact until a particularly rough thrust from Luna made Raven’s eyes snap shut At that, Anya turned around so that she was facing the cowgirl whose head was thrown back in pleasure as she rode. Feeling bold, she fisted a hand into the wild curls and pulled her head forward into a kiss.

Luna paused for a moment, unsure what to do, but as Anya tried to deepen the kiss she eagerly reciprocated, moving to put her arms around her neck. Raven took this opportunity to drop her hands to Luna’s waist and start to thrust upward. As Luna continued to bounce Anya swallowed her many moans muffling them into sweet whimpers. Luna continued to get closer and closer, her hot walls clamping down on Raven’s throbbing cock, driving her crazy.

“ _Fuck!_ I-I-I’m gonna come!!!”

Getting only a whine in response, Raven continued her movements but let  her hand slide down Luna’s torso towards her soaking pussy. The brunette moaned uncontrollably at the building pressure in her core, but once Raven took her clit between two fingers, pinching roughly, she came like never before.

Raven had been holding off, but the second she felt Luna come around her pulsing member, she let go. Sending spurts of come deep within her fluttering walls. Luna continued rocking back and forth slowly coming down from her high, with Raven guiding her. Anya was now lying next to them running her hand over Raven’s chest smirking at Luna’s flushed appearance. After a minute the girl slowly lifted herself off of Raven, with some help, before collapsing next to her looking utterly satisfied.

“Oh my gooooooooooooooooood.”

Raven turned to look at her, trying to catch her breath. “Was that okay?”

“OKAY?!” Luna let out a breathy laugh between her. “You were fucking incredible.”

Blushing at the compliment, Raven leaned down to kiss her slightly sweaty forehead, before turning back to Anya.   “And you?”

But Anya didn’t hear her. She was too busy staring at Raven’s come coated, and still very erect dick. “You’re still hard.” she mused, seeming impressed.

“Yeah it kind of does that when I’m surrounded by incredibly hot women.”

Anya just rolled her eyes at the lame attempt at a compliment. “Calm down ya fuckgirl. Now don’t tell me you’re already tired, because I really need a turn to ride on that.”

Raven smirked. In one swift movement she had rolled over pinning Anya against the bed. The dirty blonde just smiled mischievously up at her. Given their size difference she could probably easily flip them back over, switching their positions, but seeing Raven take control turned her on in a away she didn’t even know was possible.

Leaving open mouth kisses on Anya’s neck Raven grinned when she heard a low moan start to rumble in her throat. Moving her hands up to roll the already hardening nipples between her fingers, Raven started to grind into her. Her dick teasing at Anya’s folds, nudging her wanting clit.

Pleased with the whimper that earned, Raven nipped at her earlobe. “Are you sure you want to ride this? Wouldn’t you rather I just pound that pretty little pussy all day? Or do you not think you could take me…?

Anya snapped open her eyes just to glare into Raven’s fully dilated pupils. “Just shut up and fuck me

“With pleasure.” Raven growled.

Leaning in to suck harshly on Anya’s pulse point, eliciting a deep moan, Raven then propped herself up and aligned her throbbing cock with Anya’s burning center. Gently pushing in, she kept her eyes locked on Anya’s face, searching for any signs of pain. From what people had been telling her she _was_ freakishly huge (not that she had even seen anything to compare it too) and she really didn’t want to hurt them. Anya’s face was scrunched up tight, her breathing shallow.

“Are you okay?” Raven’s voice was laced with concern. “Is it too much?”

Anya let out a wavering breath, and pulled her in for a kiss. “No, no, I’m fine. J-just go slow.”

Raven nodded in understanding and slowly started moving again. Not wanting her to be in any uncomfort, Raven spread her legs a little farther slowly rubbing circles on her clit as she continued to push in. The added stimulation seemed to be just what she needed, and soon Raven had a steady rhythm of pumping in and out. Eventually Raven’s grunts were overpowered by Anya’s moans as the taller girl wrapped her legs around Raven’s waist, forcing her to go deeper and harder.

As she felt her own impending orgasm grow, Raven dropped her head to Anya’s shoulder, putting her hands on the bed next to them for leverage. With each thrust she made sure to roll her hips, hitting every spot imaginable of the moaning girl beneath her.

By now she had worked up quite a sweat, and when she finally came, burying her face further into Anya’s neck while the older girl screamed her name, she was exhausted. Falling in a heap on her back, she stared at the ceiling, panting heavily. Anya was in a similar state, but Luna had just recovered and was ready to go again.

Crawling in between the two, she grabbed Raven’s face, bringing her in for a passionate kiss. But she was slightly disappointed when the brunette had to pull away too quickly, still trying to catch her breath. Luna huffed, moving to straddle her over her now limp cock, so she could look in her eyes.

“Wanna go again?”

Slowly moving her hips in a circle, she hoped to stir something up, but Raven just whined at her oversensitivity. “Give me…. Just give me a minute.”

Luna nodded, understanding her situation, but sighed nonetheless. After just one taste she was pretty sure Raven’s dick was her favorite thing now, and she wanted to have it as much as possible. But since Raven probably needed to rest for a little while, she turned her attention to the dirty blonde lying next to her.

“What about you?”

Anya raised an eyebrow at the horny girl, but didn’t say anything, so Luna took it as a go. Nearly throwing herself off of Raven she was sitting on Anya’s lap in a flash, crashing their lips together. Anya moaned in surprise, letting Luna try to slip her tongue into her mouth, but Anya quickly won their short battle for dominance, letting her own tongue explore her newly conquered territory.

Luna suddenly pulled back with a smirk. “How about you put that tongue to good use somewhere else?”

Not responding, Anya simply flipped them over and started to slip down in between her legs. For a moment she just stared at Luna’s glistening folds taking in the scent of her arousal, because she had never actually done this before. She hadn"t really been into girls before Raven and Luna. Timidly she inched forward and began licking long stroked up and down her slit, while still keeping her eyes on Luna, making sure she was enjoying it.

But Luna wasn’t really enjoying it all that much. Maybe it was because she kept thinking about being filled up by Raven, or because Anya’s inexperience was becoming apparent, but Luna was growing slightly frustrated. Grabbing a fistful of Anya’s hair, she pulled her up so she could look in her eyes.

“Okay, so I’m gonna show you what I want you to do, and then you’re going to do it to me got it?”

Anya gave a slight nod, embarrassed that she hadn’t been very good, and silently rolled onto her back. Now it was Luna’s turn to settle between her legs, but she didn’t waste a moment before diving in. Licking along her folds to gather up some of her arousal, she turned her attention to her clit. Taking it in between her teeth, nipping at it slightly, sucking it. Anya was a moaning mess. And when Luna started thrusting into her with two fingers, she was gone. But rather than let her come down, she only went harder, curling her fingers, and harshly sucking her clit.

Raven, who had been watching the entire thing unfold, was growing hard again at the heavenly sounds spilling from Anya’s mouth. Just that alone turned her on, but combined with her heaving chest, and Luna laying on her stomach ass exposed, she was fully erect once again.

Moving to get behind Luna, she lifted her up by her hips so that she was on her knees, face still buried in Anya’s pussy. When Raven started squeezing her ass, Luna wiggled it, putting on a show as she winked over her shoulder. Raven growled with desire at that. Nudging her knees farther apart with her thighs, she stared lustfully at the glistening wetness trailing down Luna’s thighs.

Pumping her cock twice in her hand, she positioned herself right behind her entrance, nudging her cock in. Luna pushed back a little as if to say she was good to go, but she was not expecting her to thrust in fully.

Raven winced at the throaty scream that came from Luna. She immediately stopped, rubbing her hand up and down  Luna’s quivering back. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry are you okay? I don’t know why I did that!”

Luna shuddered. “I’m fine. Just give me a second to adjust. I wasn’t expecting that.” Raven mumbled more apologies as she tried relax the wild haired girl, but Luna really  was fine. “Okay I’m good. You can move.”

Happy to oblige, Raven started to slowly thrust in, loving the feel of such a tight, warm pussy from this position. Slowly she started to build up her pace, but was still holding back, not wanting to over do it. But Luna was not having any of that.

“Fuck! Me! HARDER!”

Raven definitely didn’t need to be told twice. Immediately grabbing onto Luna’s hips she she started pounding into her with new vigor. By now Anya had rolled out from under Luna, since the girl looked close to collapsing into the bed from Raven’s thrusts.

Hearing her moans and cursing, begging, was music to Raven’s ears after she had told her to be quiet earlier. Oh how the tables had turned. She was in heaven, loving every single smack of skin that came from her thigh’s connecting with Luna’s. Smirking to herself, she felt hot walls clamp down around her cock as Luna came, crying out when she did. Raven continued thrusting as she felt her own release growing nearing. Speeding up to an unrelenting pace, she drilled Luna into the bed, the other girl’s arms having given out long ago. After a few more thrusts she stiffened, groaning as she unloaded once again.

Barely able to hold herself up, she leaned forward against Luna, peppering kisses on her back. Regaining a little strength she straightened out a little, slowly pulling out, mesmerized by the sight of her cum dripping down Luna’s quivering thighs.

Quite pleased with herself, Raven fell back in exhaustion, pulling a breathless Luna down with her. “That…”

Anya moved to lie next to them, resting her head against Raven’s other shoulder. “Was so…”

Holding each of her girls in her arms, Raven smiled like an idiot as she closed her eyes. “Fucking incredible”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¿So this is smut? I hope this is something remotely like what you guys might have had in mind... IDK I'm not very goof at smut  
> I'm not sure if this even good. I just had midterms at school and I'm coasting on like 40 hours of no sleep but I decided to stay up all night to write this anyway... I was out of it when I wrote it and i didn't proofread so if it sucks I'm sorry
> 
> Anyway...Thanks for the kudos and comments! I hope you enjoy  
> And Happy Thanksgiving! since I won't post before then


	14. Chapter 14

Eyes are the windows to the soul. 

Your words can lie. Your smile can lie. Your brain can make you lie to yourself. But your eyes are the windows to your soul, and they’ll betray you everytime. Sure you can try to learn to mask your emotions, but that takes years of practice. And 99 times out of 100, your eyes will tell the truth. Because your eyes show your truest self, and your truest self never lies. Your truest self knows all your secrets, all your faults, and all your desires. Even the ones you won’t admit to yourself. 

And if you know what to look for, eyes can reveal all of it.  

And Raven knows what to look for. Because when you’ve spent years of your life hiding from the world around you, doing everything you can to make sure your secret is safe: you know what lying looks like. They say the best detectives know what it’s like to be a criminal, and if that’s true, than Raven Marie Reyes could be the fucking Chief of Police. 

But everyone has a weakness. Someone or something that just leaves them stumped.  And now, sitting across the room, staring back at her with a pair of steel blue eyes, Raven was facing hers. 

All morning she had received different kinds of stares. Jealous glares, admirational gazes, and looks of just pure disbelief. And who could blame them after what they heard she did that weekend. When she started her massive rise to the pinnacle of high school popularity, Raven was overwhelmed by all the eyes on her. But after a while she was used to the treatment. After a while she had completely blocked them out.

Well, all but a certain set of blue orbs that she constantly felt burning into her when she wasn’t looking. All but a certain set of mysterious pools that she couldn’t help but get lost in. The one pair of eyes that actually mattered to her. The pair that belonged to the one person she desperately wanted to love her back. And the one person who she couldn’t read. 

It was driving her crazy. 

Octavia wasn’t an overly expressive person, but Raven was always able to know when she was jealous, or angry, or just needed to relax. Maybe it was a best friend thing. Maybe it was because she was so in love with her. But Raven always knew. 

Until now. Now she couldn’t read her. As blue eyes bore into her from across the cafeteria, Raven stared right back, not even blinking. For a moment she thought she saw a spark of joy at their eye contact, but it quickly vanished, only leaving Raven more confused. She watched as Octavia's lips tugged into a familiar hopeful smile, her eyes twinkling, before her gaze shifted slightly and a frown masked her face once again. Raven couldn’t make out what she was staring at, she was too busy staring into her eyes. That flash of kindness seemed to be completely erased and in its place remained, anger? Or maybe jealousy? A dash of curiosity? A twinge of… regret? 

Sighing in exasperation, Raven averted her eyes back to the table. She just couldn’t tell, and she was getting tired of trying. 

Noticing Raven’s sudden quiet demeanor, Luna immediately turned to her girlfriend. “Babe? You okay?” 

Raven’s head jerked up at the hand on her shoulder, to meet a pair of soft hazel eyes. “I’m fine.” Getting a look that she  _ could  _ read, she smiled at the concern in the older girls eyes. “Really. I’m just a little tired.” 

“Well who wouldn’t be after the weekend you three had!” 

Clarke managed to hold a straight face for all of five seconds before she burst out laughing at her own comment, only drawing more looks from the surrounding tables. 

Raven instantly blushed, completely mortified. She had gotten used to everyone knowing about her secret, but the fact that everyone seemed to know about their sexcapades from the past weekend, made her embarrassed beyond belief. 

“Clarke! People can hear you!” 

Anya and Luna had no idea why Raven was so shy about the whole ordeal, when she was the one to tell the entire school about her special gift. But nonetheless, they respected her wishes and didn’t tell anyone. Even if they wanted to shout from the rooftops and brag to everyone they met about how amazing she was. But they didn’t. They just let everyone stare jealously as they strutted the hallways on Raven’s arms. 

“Yeah Clarke.”  Anya added, patting Raven’s leg reassuringly. 

Clarke just huffed. “I don’t see why you won’t at least tell  _ us _ how it was. I mean I get not wanting everyone to know. But come on! I’m dying over here! Why won’t you tell us?” 

“Well for starters, _I_   have absolutely no desire to know  _ anything  _ about my cousin’s… activities.” Lexa cut in, desperately wanting to change the subject.

“Fine then just close your ears.” 

“Clarke come on.” Luna smirked winking at Raven. “ You don’t want all the dirty little details.” 

“What? I so do! Tell me everything! I’ll do anything!”

“Huh....”  Anya chuckled. “That’s what she said.” 

Raven couldn’t help but laugh at the look of disbelief on Clarke’s face as she sputtered. “Wh-what? Are you serious? Did…. did you…? Did she…? Oh my god what?” 

“Calm down Griffin.”  Raven smiled, finally relaxing a little. “That didn’t happen. And don’t worry we won’t tell you anything.” 

Clarke pouted. “Come oooooon. Why not?” 

“Well…”  Luna grinned mischievously. “I don’t think you could handle it.” 

At that, Clarke’s jaw dropped comically wide, as she stared in awe at the three smirking girls across from her. Next to her, Lexa had her hands over ears, and eyes squeezed tightly shut as she hummed to herself. After a moment, Clarke shook her head in disbelief. “Damn it Reyes. I always knew you were a kinky little shit, but this is too much.” 

Anya smirked even more. “Now that  _ actually  _ is what she said.” 

“I can’t take this anymore!” Clarke cried, standing up, and dragging a still humming Lexa along with her. “You’re killin me smalls!” 

“Love you too Princess!” 

Once again, Raven couldn’t help but smile as she started laughing, and for a moment she completely forgot how self conscious she had been just minutes earlier and was oblivious to the world around her. But when the bell rang, signalling that lunch was over, she became hyper aware of a certain pair of eyes boring into her back. But she didn’t turn around. She knew she couldn’t. Based on the jolt of excitement she felt at having Octavia staring at her, she knew turning around would only make it more intense, and she wasn’t sure if she could handle that. 

 

OoOoOoO

 

Throughout all of World History Raven couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was watching her. Yet every time she turned to look at Octavia, she seemed to be enthralled by Professor Jaha. 

Confused from the mixed signals she seemed to be getting from the withdrawn girl, Raven just sighed and tried to listen to the lecture. But by the time she actually managed to focus her attention on the board, the bell was ringing. As the mad dash to the door began, she looked for Octavia one more time, only to see her disappear out into the hallway.

“Come one we gotta go to P.E.”

Raven looked up to see an expecting Clarke standing above her, and for once she was kind of excited to go to P.E. She had a lot of frustration to work off that only some good ole’ physical activity could help. 

Ever since the entire school found out about her secret, the locker room had become a lot less stressful… but it had also became a little more challenging. Since she was still a girl it’s not like she could change in the boys locker room, but it was a little awkward changing in front of so many people. Especially when you’re as shy as Raven. 

Usually she would just go and change in a bathroom stall, but today for some reason they were all occupied. Not wanting to make a scene since it really didn’t bother her too much, Raven simply went over to her locker trying to draw as little attention to herself as possible. 

But that became nearly impossible when a shirtless Luna came up to her. “Hey babe. How’s your day been?”

As if had just received a secret alert, all attention was drawn to them as the couple interacted. “Oh you know. Same old same old.”

Continuing to talk Raven started getting undressed like anyone normally would, but when she pulled off her pants, leaving her in a pair of boxer briefs, the room fell silent. Noticing the impossible to miss change in atmosphere, Raven furrowed her eyebrows to see everyone staring at her. 

But before she could say anything, Luna angrily waved her arms in an effort to get their attention. “HEY! STOP LOOKING AT MY GIRLFRIEND! Anyone who keeps staring is gonna get a dodgeball to the face!”  

Raven smiled at how Luna reacted. Usually Anya was more of the possessive jealous type, but Luna could be just as protective. And it definitely worked. Instantly everyone averted their gaze, as much as they really didn’t want to stop  looking. 

Giving her girlfriend a quick kiss of gratitude, Raven went back to changing. But once again she felt a pair of eyes on her. And even before she looked up  she knew who it was. All day Octavia had been good about looking away before Raven could see her. But this time she wasn’t fast enough and Raven caught her blatantly checking her out. 

They shared eye contact for a moment longer, before both of them realized just how interesting the floor was.

Eventually they were done changing and Raven made her way into the gym with Anya and Luna by her side. The class seemed to be on the two sides of the gym so the trio went to go to a side together, but were quickly separated leaving Luna on the opposite end of the room from her girlfriends. 

After a few minutes of just talking, a  very unenthused coach, waved halfheartedly before blowing his whistle. “You know the rules. If anyone needs me I’ll be asleep in my office. Don’t wake me up unless someone is dying.”

If anyone had actually been paying attention to him they might have at least offered an awkward chuckle at his shocking callousness, but the moment that whistle blew, there was no going back. 

The one universal rule of dodgeball is to leave it all on the court. And today, this court would see a lot. You could cut the tension with a knife. And based off of Echo’s glares it seemed like the only thing she was planning to leave on the court was a bloodied Raven on the floor. 

If Raven had bothered to look her way she would have seen the murder in her eyes and avoided her for the rest of the game. But since she was distracted by a prancing Luna taunting her, she didn’t even notice. Luckily for her, Lexa was on her team this time, so there was a very low chance of anyone hurting her, but that didn’t stop Echo from trying. 

Pacing back and forth, the angry blonde couldn’t help but rant to the people forming her human shield. “Why is everybody so obsessed with her?  So she had sex! I mean I get that it’s a miracle for a freak like her, BUT WHY IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT IT!”

“Well technically you’re talking about it too.” Ontari shrugged as she blocked a ball.

“I’m allowed to talk about it!” She huffed. “It’s bothering me!”

Octavia rolled her eyes. For someone who was so sure of herself, Echo was a real idiot. Trying to hide her annoyance at everything that she was hearing, Octavia chucked a ball across the room, grinning triumphantly when it hit Anya, putting the athletic girl out of the game. 

Walking sort of stiffly, Anya made her way to the bleachers. But before she could sit down a relax for the rest of class, Murphy couldn’t help but taunt her. “What’s wrong Anya? Had too  _ rough  _ of a workout this weekend.”

Blushing furiously, Anya just ignored it and turned her back on them, but Raven was having none of it. Echo had been a pain in her ass too long, and she was done with it. 

Picking up a ball that was rolling her way, Raven surreptitiously inched closer to the laughing group. As quickly as possible she winded up and threw the ball as hard as she could at Echo. Unfortunately for her, Murphy had decided to walk in front of her and took the brunt of the hit. The ball still managed to hit Echo after it bounced off of Murphy and the floor, but that only served to anger her rather than get her out. 

Realizing what would be coming next, Raven quickly scampered back over to Lexa aka  the Dodgeball Machine, and hoped that Echo didn’t have a good arm. Again unfortunately for her, Raven misjudged the situation. 

Fuming, Echo let out a shrill screech. Becca and Alie immediately rushed to her side (still making sure to block her from any balls) and called Lincoln and Finn over. 

Octavia watched skeptically from afar. She couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but based on the malicious smirks the two boys sported as they walked toward the center of the gym, it couldn’t be good. 

Raven also noticed the duo approaching her, and flinched when she saw Finn winding up. But Finn released it to early sending it arcing into the air. Raven took that as an opportunity and ran out to catch it, making Octavia cringe. She wanted to scream “It’s a trap!” But helping the other team is kind of against the point of dodgeball so she stayed quiet. 

But as she saw Lincoln release his ball, she really wished she hadn't. 

Thoroughly distracted by getting Finn out, Raven didn’t even notice the ball hurtling toward her. When she did realize… it was too late. 

Almost in slow motion, the ball got closer and closer until it smashed into her crotch. Face scrunching up, and hands flying to protect her precious “secret”, Raven fell to the floor. 

As she watched Raven crumple in a ball onto the ground, Octavia’s heart broke. And something primal snapped deep within her. Turning back to Echo she was seething to see the blonde doubled over in laughter. 

“Well I guess that clarifies things. Gayes really does have a dick. Guess she really is a freak.”

Resisting the urge to just run over and strangle the smug girl, Octavia growled. “You did that on purpose?”

Well duh.”

“Why the hell would you do that!?”

“Well to test a theory about whether or not she was telling the truth.” Echo started, seemingly very excited to share her plan. “If it had hit her and she didn’t really feel anything that would mean she didn’t have a dick and has just lied about. And if she was telling the truth… like she did, then it would hurt a lot. A win-win scenario.”

Octavia couldn’t help but shake with rage. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Still too pleased with herself for her revenge, Echo didn’t notice Octavia’s agitated tone, and instead continued admiring her handiwork. 

Octavia followed her gaze. Well really everyone did. It was kind of impossible to miss the moaning, writhing mess, twenty feet away. By now Lexa and Clarke were kneeling by her side, but that did nothing to ameliorate Raven’s pain. Luna and Anya were there too but Octavia was too preoccupied worrying over Raven to be jealous of them. Hearing her groans was almost unbearable, but when she opened her eyes and Octavia could see the overwhelming pain pouring out of them, she couldn’t take it anymore. 

Just as she was about to walk over to offer her help, Echo decided to speak up again. “Well at least she got what she deserved. She should have known better than to mess with me. 

And that was the final straw.

“OH MY GOD ECHO JUST SHUT UP!” And for one of the few times in her life, Echo obeyed. “You are such a bitch! I don’t know why you have some sick need to break everybody down all the time but I am SICK of it! You’ve gone too far! If you do  _ one m _ ore thing to Raven you’re really gonna regret it.”

Echo just rolled her eyes. “O relax, no one cares what happens to her. She’s just a sad little freak that no one cares about.”

“I SWEAR TO GOD! The next time you feel the need to be a bitch or say something awful,  why don't you just stick a dick in your mouth instead.”

Echo’s mouth dropped open, but Octavia wasn’t done yet. “Perfect! Just like that. Only with a big fat dick right… there.” 

Horrified, Echo snapped her jaw shut, clenching it tightly. But as Octavia continued, she put all her mental energy into thinking of a comeback. She couldn’t be  left speechless again.  “Anyone will do, except Raven’s! Because never in a thousand years would you deserve someone like her!”

Finally running out of breath, Octavia stopped, sending Echo the meanest glare she could, but Echo simply smirked in response. “What and you think you do? Only a freak could like a freak. So I guess that makes you one too. You better run off to you little freak girlfriend.”

For a moment Echo seemed pleased with her comeback. But then… Octavia really snapped. 

Surging forward, she closed the feet between them and tackled Echo to the floor, angrily hovering over her. Unable to restrain them anymore, Octavia’s fists seemed to act with minds of their own. “DON’T! FUCKING! CALL! HER! A FREAK!” 

By the time she finished her sentence, Echo’s nose was spurting blood. 

Before she could do anymore damage, a pair of strong arms ripped her off the beaten girl holding her back in an effort to protect the Has Been Queen Bee sprawled out on the floor. Still furious, Octavia thrashed around splitting her attention between the two girls lying on the floor on opposite sides of the gym. She wanted nothing more than to run over to Raven, and try her hardest to take her pain away. But since that couldn’t happen, she had to settle with watching Echo limp off to the nurses office like a dog with its tail between its legs. 

There were many things Octavia regretted in her life, but beating up Echo wasn’t one of them. 

The next day Echo didn’t show up to school. She didn’t come in the next week either. In fact, she didn’t show up at all for the rest of the year. Finally Raven was free. But right now, that wasn’t important. Because for the first time in a long time brown met blue across the room sharing a look of nothing but love and admiration. And in that moment, that was all that mattered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 14 (finally)  
> Sorry it's taken so long, I've just been busy and kind of unmotivated to write, so this isn't that great. Its not exactly what I had planned (I honestly don't know what the first part about eyes is ¿you can never go wrong with cliches right? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ) but just go with it. There's one more chapter until the chapter that is full of drama and excitement and backstory and I'm actually really looking forward to writing, and will hopefully make up for whatever this chapter is.
> 
> I hope you enjoy anyway! Thanks for the comments and kudos!


	15. Chapter 15

 

Octavia wasn’t exactly sure what to expect after beating the crap out of Echo. But this.... definitely wasn’t it.

After a three day suspension for the assault of another student (it would have been much longer if it wasn’t for the entire class supporting her story that she was defending Raven) Octavia found herself unusually eager to go back to school. As much as she loved her overbearing brother, after spending so much time with him, she desperately needed to get out of the house. But now that she was back in school, she would have traded anything to go back home.

It’s not like she was expecting everyone to roll out a red carpet and treat her like a hero for getting rid of the friendly neighborhood bully, but she at least expected people to talk to her. While she was out, a rumor had spread that the reason Echo wouldn’t be returning for the rest of the year was  because she had been beaten into a coma. So naturally as the one who put her in said coma, Octavia was the number one public enemy. Some people really were grateful to be free from Echo’s brutal reign, but most were too afraid of being her next victim to even speak to her.

The worst part though, was that even the crappy stuck up friends she did have, had ditched her too. Alie and Becca wanted nothing to do with her after she brutally attacked their idol, Roan was pretty pissed that she hurt his girlfriend, and Ontari Finn and Lincoln were pretty indifferent about the whole ordeal, but didn’t want to risk their “popular status” or the wrath of Roan if they talked to her.

So now here she was, all alone in the cafeteria, with no friends, and a crappy sandwich.

Sighing to herself, Octavia found solace in the fact that things couldn’t get much worse. At least no one could tell how miserable she felt since they all refused to even look her way. Taking another bite of what could possibly be the worst sandwich ever created, she tried not to think about how much everything sucked right now. But that was easier said than done.

How could you not be miserable when the world was out to get you? And as hard as she tried not to think about it, Octavia couldn’t ignore the blatantly obvious mess that was her life. She had no friends, no food, but worst of all no-

“Raven?”

“Hold on I’ll be just a second.”

Hearing a voice right in front of her, Octavia’s head jerked up to see a familiar brunette offering a shy smile. “Oh good. I’ve been standing here for a solid minute, I thought you were never going to notice me.”

Blinking as if to make sure she  wasn’t just going crazy and picturing things. Octavia muttered, “Sorry I was just...”

“Lost in thought?  I know it happens to me a lot too.”

And there was that smile again. So dazzling, and genuinely caring that anyone looking at it couldn’t help but smile back. And smile back she did. “Yeah I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.”

“Really? I thought your whole problem was that you act first without thinking of the consequences?” Noticing the way that Octavia winced slightly at that, Raven offered a small chuckle. “Sorry. Too soon?”

Shrugging, Octavia mimicked her half hearted laugh. “Little bit.”

“Well shit, sorry. I didn’t mean too...” Raven trailed off, leaving the impression that she was going to say something more. But when Octavia looked back at her she was shyly looking at her tray.

Slightly unsettled at the awkward silence between the two, Octavia cleared her throat. “Well… Um shouldn’t you get back to your friends?”

Raven frowned at that. “I’m already with one of them.”

Octavia just stared at her dumbfounded. _Was she trying to say that they were friends?_  Based on the fact that the brunette was still standing in front of her, albeit hesitantly, was probably a good sign. _Right?_ Realizing that she hadn’t responded for an unusual amount of time, Octavia  quickly spoke up. “Are you saying tha-”

But before she could finish her thought, Raven cut her off. “O listen.” _Ugh that nickname. When it came from her favorite person it got her every time._ “I came over to thank you for what you did to Echo. I know she was your frien-”

Now it was Octavia’s turn to interrupt. “She _wasn’t_ my friend. I don’t know why I ever wanted to hang around a jerk  like that.”

“Anyway…” Raven continued. “I really appreciated you standing up for me.”

“Are you kidding me?  After all the times you stood up for me when we-”

They both knew what she was about to say. _When we were kids._ Back in the good old days. _When we were friends. When we could actually tolerate each other. When we actually cared about each other._

“I know what you mean…” Raven said in a soft voice, obviously nervous to say whatever she was about to say. “And that’s the other reason I came. I… I miss you O. I miss my best friend.”

“I miss you to Rae.” Octavia felt herself tear up but tried to push it down. “I’ve missed you so much and I’m _so_ sorry tha-”

As if on cue, Raven cut her off again. “No. Just no.”

“But I really am sorry.” Octavia offered making Raven roll her eyes.

“I’m sure you are. You should be. What you did really hurt me.”

“I know I’m so-”  catching Raven’s glare, Octavia quickly corrected herself. “But if I could just explai-”

“Octavia.” Raven sighed, getting a little tired of having to interrupt her.  “I didn’t come over here to ask for an apology that’s not going to fix anything. I know you’re sorry, but it’s a little late for that.”

“But Rae if I jus-”

“O I came over here to try and be nice but you’re making it really hard for me to do that.”

“Sorry.”Octavia mumbled, a hint of pink creeping up her cheeks as she hung her head clearly embarrassed.

“Ugh sorry I didn’t mean to sound so bitchy. It’s just… this is hard.” Taking a deep breath, Raven stopped to look longingly at Octavia for a moment. “It’s just really hard to forget about what happened… But I want to. If it means we can be friends again... I- I want to try to get over it.” Octavia’s breath hitched. Was this really _happening_? “And I know it could take a while for me to completely get over it and forgive you. But… I want to try. I want to be friends.”

“Friends?” Octavia asked, really not believing she heard that right.

“Yes friends.”

“Rae… You have no idea how much I want that.” Octavia started, voice breaking slightly. “If you’ll let me I’ll do anything to make it up for you. But I really want to explain why I di-”

“No. That’s my one condition. You can’t talk about it.” Based on Raven’s quick blinking and audible swallow, Octavia could only imagine how much it hurt when she brought it up. “I can’t get over it if you keep bringing it up. And I really want to. I need to try. So no talking about it, no mentioning it, and no looking at me like a guilty puppy,“

Nodding eagerly, Octavia had to resist the urge to jump up and hug the one person she cared about right now. “Of course. I won’t. But I still am gonna try to be the best friend in the world… if-if you’ll let me.”

Raven smiled. “Of course O. Friends?”

“Friends.” Octavia smiled back.

Octavia was sure she was grinning like an idiot by now.

_When they first met on the first day kindergarten, Octavia was sitting in a corner not talking to anyone, and Raven was the only kid to come up to her. When it came time to go home, and the two new friends walked out the front door hand in hand, Octavia had never been happier. But when it was time to go their separate ways, young Octavia didn’t want to leave her new found friend. Sensing her worries Raven gave her an adorable smile and said,_

_“Don’ worry O. I’s gonna be back tomorrow. We’s best friends now!”_

_With an unsure voice, Octavia responded with only one word. “Fwiends?”_

_To which Raven’s only possible answer could be: “Friends.”_

And now, Octavia just couldn’t believe she remembered it all these years later, but Raven’s voice soon brought her out of her reverie. “Yep. Just like how we used to be.”

 _How we used to be._ Octavia frowned at that. They had always been best friends, but over the years it really seemed like they had something more. Always being together, turned to never being apart, innocent hugs turned into lingering touches, but the love was always the same. Or was it?  Were best friends supposed to love eachother like that? Not that it mattered. They were Octavia and Raven, O and Rae Rae that’s just how they were.

And that’s all Octavia wanted to be now. Just like how they used to be.

Once again Raven’s voice brought her back to reality. “Well are you coming?”

And how could it not? Those dulcet tones seemingly always laced with a smirk never failed to catch Octavia’s attention. “Coming where?”

“To sit with us.”

Octavia stared at her like she was speaking another language. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea...”

Raven frowned. “Why not?”

“I highly doubt your friends like me.”

“Well if we’re gonna be friends they’re gonna have to get used to it. Now come on.”

Raven’s tone left no room for argument, and before she even knew what was happening a hand was wrapping around her wrist and Octavia was being dragged away from her table.

_Goodbye loneliness, meet your least favorite cousin: awkwardness._

As they got closer and closer to the last place Octavia wanted to be right now, she could literally feel the daggers Lexa and Anya were throwing at her with their eyes.

Raven casually sat down next to Luna as if nothing was wrong, but Octavia stiffly stood beside her, not wanting to sit across from Lexa. Shifting back and forth from foot to foot, her anxiousness grew until Raven put a hand on her forearm.

“Come on. Sit down.”

Lexa watched with a scowl as the brunette carefully set down her tray. “And what do you think you’re doing?”

Octavia gulped. “Sitting down.”

“Lex…” Raven hissed in a whisper. “Leave her alone.”

“Please.” Lexa scoffed. “What are you friends again?”

Once again Raven gave Octavia a comforting smile. “Yep. Just like how we used to be.” And while it greatly comforted Octavia, Lexa’s scowl only grew.

The table continued eating and talking as if nothing unusual had even happened, but Octavia could still feel the tension. She didn’t say much, she didn’t even eat much. She lost her appetite. Partially because of the death glares Lexa would send her every few minutes, but partially because this sandwich really was disgusting. But by the time lunch was coming to a close, her hunger made itself apparent again.

Everyone else was too preoccupied with pretending that Octavia didn’t exist to notice how little she was eating, except Raven. Raven always knew. Octavia could almost eat more than she could, and that’s saying something. But here she was not even touching her food, and longingly eyeing the vending machines.

Smirking to herself, Raven picked up a small package of cookies from her tray, and offered them to the sulking girl beside her. “Here.”

Octavia looked up, eyes widening when she saw her favorite snack. “What- what’s this?”

“Lorna Doones.” Raven grinned, waving it tauntingly in front of her face. “Don’t tell me they’re not your favorite anymore.”

Muttering in disbelief, Octavia gingerly accepted the gift. “No of course they are. I just- I can’t believe you still remembered.”

Blushing slightly, Raven looked down at her hands. “How could I forget?”

Octavia smiled. In just this one lunch period with Raven, Octavia had smiled more than she had for the past month. And if this was what being friends with Raven again entailed, she could really get used to it.

 

OoOoOoO

 

Now Octavia really didn’t mean to be clingy, she just couldn’t help it. Today was the first time since she got suspended that someone who wasn’t her brother was talking to her, and she couldn’t get enough of it. So if being clingy meant she could actually _be_ with people, she didn’t care

But everyone else did.

Raven of course was oblivious to the fact that Octavia was being particularly clingy because they had always been inseparable, and in truth, this was just how they were as friends. But Lexa noticed. Anya and Luna definitely noticed. Even Clarke who was the queen of clinginess thought it was a little too much. So when the last bell of the day rang, freeing them from the chains of school for an entire weekend, needless to say they were excited.

Not wanting to run into Octavia and let her guilt her way into doing something with them, Lexa quickly ushered Raven towards the parking lot once they got out of class. Clarke and Luna were hot on their heels and Anya was already pulling their car around. They didn’t want to be rude and outright say no to Octavia’s face (well Lexa did) but it wasn’t their fault if they left so quickly they never got the chance to see her.

But just as they were about to reach the car, an angry sounded voice made them all stop in their tracks.

“RAVEN MARIE REYES!”

Lexa groaned, really not wanting to deal with anyone right now, but when she turned around she was surprised to see a ticked off Maya, followed by Atom and an embarrassed Octavia.

Raven waved as the trio got closer. “Hey Maya. What’s up. Full name, huh?  Did I do something bad?”

“Did you check your phone?”

Fishing through her pocket, Raven frowned when she turned on her phone to see multiple messages. “Ummm no.”

“Well anyway, you’re coming over tonight to work on our project.” Maya stated matter of factly.

“Ummmm no she’s not.” Luna interjected, wrapping an arm around Raven’s shoulders. “We have plans.”

“Yeah… But babe this is school.” Raven insisted. “This project is worth like half our final grade for history.”

“Wait, but it’s not due till later right?” Lexa asked worriedly, suddenly realizing that she too had work to do.

“It’s not _technically_ due until like that end of the semester, but we have a lot of work to do and only four people to do it. Plus, _somebody_ decided to get themselves suspended for three days making us even further behind. So we really need to get some work done.”

Maya said it casually enough, but Luna frowned a little, not happy that Octavia was the reason her girlfriend would be missing their date.

“Okay I get that.” Clarke offered, understandingly. “But it’s Friday night. Who wants to do work on a Friday night?”

Maya sighed, slightly annoyed that these people clearly didn’t know her at all. “People who want to get a good grade that’s who.”

Giving her best puppy dog eyes, Raven looked up innocently at Anya. “And I really do guys. This is important.”

And that was all it took.

Luna could never say no to those eyes. “Alright. If this is important to you it’s important to me. Go. Have fun.”

“It’s working on a project babe,” Raven scoffed. “It definitely won’t be fun.”

“Well then what time should I come rescue you?”

“I think Octavia drove, so she could just drop me off when it’s time to leave.” Turning around to get a nod from the still silent brunette, Raven looked back at her girlfriend.  “Yeah so she can take me home, and then we can hang out later when I get back. Ok?”

Luna pouted. “But I’ll miss you. I don’t want to hang out with these losers by myself.”

“Ummm. Offense taken.” Clarke piped up, crossing her arms.

“Sorry not sorry.” Luna shrugged, earning a smile from Raven, before looking at Maya. “Alright but don’t keep her too late.”

“No promises. We have a lot to to. So _come on_ Raven!”

“Alright, alright, I‘m coming.”

With a quick kiss on Luna’s cheek, Raven turned to leave, only to be spun back around, so Luna could give her a proper goodbye. Octavia averted her eyes at the kiss. For some reason it made her stomach churn to see Raven with someone else, and she couldn’t even bare to look.

But soon enough Raven came bounding over to the trio ready to get to work.

 

ooo

 

For some reason the group wasn’t actually getting any work done, much to Maya’s disappointment. But it definitely wasn’t Raven’s fault.

It certainly wasn’t her fault when Atom handed her the aux cord (at her request) and got everyone hyped on the car ride to Maya’s house. And it wasn’t her fault when she got lost in Maya’s giant house and made them start a game of Sardines. And it most _definitely_ wasn’t her fault when she just _had_ to show Octavia a really good meme.

“Oh my god. What is it this time?” Maya groaned, getting tired of the constant laughter coming from the three crowded around Raven’s computer.

“Maya you have to see this! It’s a cat… but it’s saying hello!”

“Atom not you too.” Maya rolled her eyes but reluctantly got up to go see for herself. “No see it’s just meowing.”

“Listen harder.” Raven ordered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which only made Maya more annoyed.

But after a moment her eyes widened. “Oh my god it actually said hello!”

“That’s what we’ve been telling you!” Raven exclaimed triumphantly.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re always right. Now can we get back to work?” Rather than respond, Raven “accidentally” clicked another video that Maya couldn’t help but be interested in. “Okay… one more… but that’s it.”

Mocking her earlier tone, Raven smirked. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.”

Yet an hour later they were still trapped in the endless web that is the internet, with no signs of escaping any time soon. It wasn’t until Raven’s phone buzzed, drawing her attention away from the laptop that anyone could manage to stop watching.

“Oops.” Raven chuckled showing the shockingly late time of 8:15 and a message from Anya asking if they were done yet. “Not even close.”

Standing up Atom looked panicked. “Oh crap. Is it really that late already?”

“Yeah. What’s wrong?” Raven asked suddenly worried.

“I was supposed to pick up my little sister 15 minutes ago. Sorry but I have to go. I thought we’d be done.”

“No, no it’s totally fine.” Maya assured. “Go ahead we got this.”

Without a second glance, Atom was out the door leaving a whining Octavia. “Wait why does he get to leave?”

Maya raised an eyebrow. “Because he has an actual reason to. Unlike you two who are just _dying_ to watch me get a bad grade.”

“Okay. Message received.” Trying to seem innocent, Raven smiled. “We’ll get to work. Right O?”

Giving a serious look, Octavia saluted. “Aye Aye Captain!”

After sharing a smile, the two instantly collapsed into a fit of laughter, leaving Maya standing above them expectantly. “Whenever you’re done with whatever _this_ is, start working!”

“Okay, okay. We’re good.” Octavia said between breaths as she tried to calm down.

“But actually can we get some food. I’m starving.” Raven said, punctuating her point with a cheesy grin.

“Oh me too.” Octavia nodded in agreement.

Realizing that it was indeed getting late, and she herself was hungry too, Maya relented. “Fine what do you want?”

In unison the two girls eagerly yelled. “PIZZA!”

Maya shook her head, smiling slightly, as she walked out to place an order, but Raven and Octavia were too busy reveling in the fact that they read each other’s minds to notice or care.

Once they finally got over their moment, Raven got her laptop back out, and the two settled on the couch to really get to work.  

And work they did.

Octavia wasn’t a big fan of school, but she always at least tried. And Raven loved learning but sort of despised America’s education system (don’t even get her started on it). Overall they both worked hard. But while Raven had the grades to show for it, her natural ability to understand and apply concepts made this easy, Octavia often struggled in school. But after years of being best friends they had their system down pat. Raven was a fast learner, but a very patient teacher, and never failed to make sure Octavia understood everything to the best of her abilities. And in reality, this was just a win win scenario; helping Octavia only made Raven’s own understanding better.

So as Raven started her research, she made sure to explain every single detail to the confused brunette leaning into her side listening attentively.

Any onlooker, who didn’t know any better would automatically assume that there was at least something slightly beyond friendship occurring here, but Maya knew better as she came in from the kitchen pizza in hand. Or at least she thought she did. The last she heard Octavia and Raven were still at each other’s throats, and now they were acting like they had never even stopped being friends.

Suddenly feeling as if she was intruding on something, Maya cleared her throat. “Umm Pizza’s here.”

“Oh god yessssssssssss!” Raven groaned, sitting up and stretching her arms behind her head.

“It’s about time.” Octavia grumbled reaching for a slice. “I’m starving. What time is it anyway?”

“It’s uhhhhh.” Raven frowned. “Oh my phone’s dead. Does anyone have a charger?”

Maya just watched as Octavia made some grunting noise, her mouth full of pizza,  and Raven automatically reached into her bag to retrieve a charger.

“Thanks O.”

The blue eyed girl just smiled, clearly to busy eating her pizza to respond.

Not wanting them to forget that there was another person in the room, Maya decided now would be a good time to speak up. “It’s actually 9:13. So if we do want to watch _Schindler’s List_ we should probably start now.”

“Yeah that’s fine with me.” Raven mused moving to plug in her phone.

“Same here.” Octavia echoed.

“Great I’ll put it on.”

Octavia continued eating until multiple chimes blew up Raven’s phone as it turned back on.

 

  **GC: Queens**

**Luna: Are you coming back soon**

**Anya:  We miss you**

**Luna: It’s getting late**

**Anya: You said you’d be home not too late**

**Anya:  What’s taking so long?**

**Luna: Are you still working?**

**Anya: If you don’t respond we’re gonna spam you**

**Luna: Are you done?**

**Luna: Are you done?**

**Luna: Are you done?**

**Luna: Are you done?**

**Luna: Are you done?**

**Luna: Are you done?**

 Laughing slightly at how clingy her girlfriends were being, Raven smiled, quickly typing out her response.

**Raven: Oh my god.**

**Raven: My phone died for like half an hour and this happens?**

**Anya:  We thought you were dead**

**Luna:** **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Raven: You thought I was dead and all you can say is ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ?**

**Anya: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Luna: We just want to know when you’re getting back**

**Anya: Soon right?**

**Raven: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Luna: (-_-)**

**Anya: Whaaaaat? WHyyyyyyy?**

**Raven: Well we still have to watch Schindler’s list and it’s not gonna finish until late…**

**Raven: Soooooo…**

**Luna: So we don’t get to see you?**

**Raven: Probably not**

**Raven: Sorry ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**

**Anya: :( :( :(**

**Raven: Nooooo don’t be sad :(**

**Raven: xoxoxo**

**Anya :|**

**Raven: I loooove you**

**Luna: We love you too.**

**Anya: :) :) :)**

**Lun: Text us went you get home**

**Raven: I will :)**

 

Putting down her phone, Raven noticed that Octavia was frowning at her. “Is something wrong?”

Octavia just hummed in response, returning her attention to her pizza. But she couldn’t help but glance Raven’s way occasionally as the older girls began eating as well. The room was awkwardly silent until the movie came on, and even then they just listened to the voices drone on and on not really caring what was happening.

At first they all started watching the movie at different places in the room. Raven was lounged on the couch, Octavia sat on the floor, and Maya was in a recliner. But as the story continued to unfold, they all ended up on the couch. Raven was a little annoyed to have to share the couch that she was so comfortably lying on, but when Octavia started to cuddle into her, all her cares melted away. All she could focus on was the warm body next to her. And then leaning on her. And then practically on top of her.

By the time the movie finished, Octavia was dead asleep on Raven’s shoulder. Even when Maya got up to turn off the TV, Raven didn’t have the heart to move. She didn’t want to wake up the girls sleeping so peacefully on her. Octavia looked so sweet and tensefree, as she snored softly. And Raven found it completely adorable.

Maya couldn’t help but smile when she saw the sweet scene in front of her. Yawning she checked her watch and nearly gasped. “Woah. It’s a lot later than I thought.”

“What time is it?” Raven asked, clearly on the verge of sleep.

“A little after midnight.” Maya watched as Raven’s tired eyes opened wider in shock. “But neither of you look like you should be driving anywhere at this hour. So if you want you can stay over.”

“If you don’t mind I think that’s a good idea.” Raven pondered, shifting slightly to look at Octavia.

“Oh it’s no problem.” Maya assured, walking to the closet to grab a blanket. “I know that couch isn’t that big, so if you want, one of you can come sleep in my room.”

“Alright. I’ll wake Octavia up to see.”

“Of course. I’ll just be right upstairs. First door on the left. ” Maya turned to leave before remembering the situation. “Do you need something more comfortable to sleep in or anything like that? I doubt you’ll fit in anything of mine but I might have a pair of Jasper’s sweatpants you could borrow.”

Raven raised an eyebrow, smirking. “And why would you have a pair of Jasper’s sweatpants? Got something you’d like to share?”

Maya paled. “Oh my god you weren’t supposed to know that. Just pretend you didn’t hear that.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Raven smiled at the panicking Maya. “I won’t tell a soul. But I would like those sweatpants if you don’t mind.”

Still blushing, Maya nearly sprinted to the stairs. “Yep you got it. No problem.”

As her footsteps receded down the hall, Raven slowly eased herself out from under Octavia, trying not to disturb her. She had just successfully wiggled away when Maya reappeared, offering the sweatpants but refusing to meet her gaze. After offering a thanks to the once again retreating figure, Raven stood up to stretch before going to the bathroom to change.

After taking a minute to get dressed and wash her face, Raven headed back to the living room while putting her hair up in a messy bun. When she got back to the room she couldn’t help but smile at the sight before her.

Octavia was propped up on her elbow, rubbing the sleep out of her eye with an adorable pout on her face. “I thought you left.”

“No I was just in the bathroom.” Raven explained sitting back down. “So you fell asleep during the movie, and it’s a little late, but Maya’s cool with us sleeping over if you’re okay with that.”

Octavia hummed sleepily in agreement as she leaned back into Raven, nuzzling against her neck.

“She also said that one of us could sleep upstairs with her if we want.” But as she felt Octavia frown against her neck, she knew that wasn’t an option. “Or we could share the couch down here. Either way you’ll probably want to go upstairs to borrow something to sleep in.”

Sitting up Octavia looked at her with narrowed eyes, as if trying to see if she was okay with sharing the couch. Raven wasn’t quite sure what exactly she was doing, and offered a reassuring smile, which seemed to do the trick.

Standing up she started shuffling towards the stairs, but just as she reached the first step, she turned. “I’ll be back.”

Raven wasn’t sure why that made her so happy, but it really did, and she decided not to question it.

A few minutes later, Octavia returned in a tank top and shorts, making a beeline for the couch. She wanted to just throw herself on top of Raven and drift back to sleep, but not wanting to cross any boundaries, she sat at the opposite side of the couch curling into a ball.

Raven was surprised at the action, but didn’t say anything. Turning off the lights, she settled down herself, spreading out slightly but not fully in an effort to not kick Octavia.

For awhile they just sat in the darkness. Raven hyper aware of her feet, using all her energy to not push Octavia off the couch, while Octavia tried to get comfortable by constantly changing her position.

After what seemed like an eternity, Raven sat upright, Octavia soon following her.

“This isn’t working.” The brown eyed girl sighed, staring at the blue eyes that were sparkling in the darkness.

“I know.” Octavia mumbled. “But what are we gonna do.”

Thinking for a moment, Raven shifted and opened her arms. “Come here.”

In the darkness Octavia could just make out the arms reaching out for her. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah why wouldn’t I be? We used to do this all the time. It’s just like how we used to.”

Octavia pursed her lips. “Right.”

For some reason it just felt a little weird to be doing this, but Octavia quickly pushed that thought out of her mind, and crawled into Raven’s outstretched arms. Instantly she felt more comfortable as the soft, toned arms curled around her waist, and pulled her in close.

Pushed so close together the couch suddenly didn’t feel so small, and Octavia relaxed into the embrace. Raven was right. They used to cuddle like this all the time. And even if this _did_ feel different, Octavia didn’t mind. She just let Raven’s strong arms hold her,  her hot breath tickling her neck.

Eventually Octavia felt Raven’s breathing even out, meaning the older girl had finally fallen asleep. And because she felt so safe and so loved back in Raven’s arms for the first time in too long, Octavia soon drifted off as well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Year, new me, but same old story with New Octaven... friendship? ;)  
> Ugggghhh when will they just tell each other how they feel??? (yes I feel this way even though it's my own story)  
> So this next chapter will hopefully be really good and dramatic and exciting and a total game changer (it is in my head but I've gotta get it out on paper) and I'm really excited to write it! I'm starting school back up again this week but I should still have time to write it. 
> 
> As always thank you for all the kudos and comments! I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> And... I hope you have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! And hopefully it'll be a really great year since THE 100 SEASON 5 COMES OUT


	16. Chapter 16

Raven jolted awake to the sound of her phone going off. Slightly disoriented she tried to sit up only to have her arm be trapped under a sleeping Octavia. Now usually she wouldn’t care if moving made someone wake up, but for some reason she just couldn’t bring herself to wake Octavia from her slumber. 

She thought it would be hard to deal with the person who ruined her life, but with Octavia everything came so naturally. It was  obvious that the younger brunette cared about her, which only made Raven more confused as to why she had been so callous just a year ago. 

Perfectly content with just watching Octavia sleep, Raven completely forgot why she woke up in the first place, until her phone went off again. Slowly easing her arm out from underneath the dead asleep girl, she carefully slid off the couch to answer her phone before it woke anyone else up. 

But when she turned it on to see all the notifications she nearly cringed. 

 

**Lexa (12:34): Hey when are you coming home?**

**Lexa (1:18): Alright I’m going to bed. You know where the key is so don’t wake me up**

**Lexa (10:47): Why aren’t you in your room?**

**Lexa (10:48): Did you even come home last night?**

**Luna (11:11): Hey are you awake?**

**Anya (11:12): We’re coming over even if you’re not**

**Luna (11:31): Open the dooooooor**

**Luna (11:32): Come on sleeping beauty**

**Anya (11:33): Get your cute ass down here to let us in**

**Lexa (11:34): Why are your girlfriends here when you aren’t?**

**Lexa (11:35): Where are you?**

**Luna (11:36): Rae where are you?**

**Anya (11:37): Why doesn’t Lexa know where you are?**

**Luna (11:38): Babe are you okay?**

**Anya (11:39): Seriously Rae where are you?**

**Lexa (11:40):  Are you okay? Are you in trouble?  Are you hurt?**

**3 missed calls from Lexa**

**4 missed calls from Luna**

**Anya (11:44):  PICK UP YOUR PHONE!**

 

Feeling incredibly guilty, Raven immediately dialed Luna’s number. Not even a full ring later the worried girl picked up. 

_ “Oh my god Raven! Where are you?! Are you okay?! Do you know how worried you’ve made us?!”  _

In the background Raven could just make out Anya whispering “Let her answer!” 

And she did. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to not tell you, I just forgot… ” 

_ “Well where are you?”  _

“Maya’s.” 

_ “So you didn’t even go home last night?”  _

“No… It was getting late and Octavia had already fallen asleep, so I didn’t think she should be driving anywhere. And then Maya said it was fine if we stayed so we just crashed on her couch” 

Raven could almost hear how high Luna’s eyebrows shot at that. _ “We?”  _

“Yeah it was the only thing available so we both slept on it.” 

The second she said that, Raven could feel the tension through the phone.

_ "Yeah we’re definitely going to talk about that. But right now we’re coming to get you. Can you send us Maya’s address.”  _

“Oh you don’t have to do that. I’m pretty sure Octavia could still take me. I can go wake her up and ask.” 

_ “No don’t do that, we can get you.”  _

“Really it’s no problem, I’m sure she wou-”

_ “But if she’s not awake yet it’s gonna take a little while to get going and we have stuff to get done.”  _

Raven frowned in confusion. “What do we have to do? It’s Saturday.” 

_ “Exactly. Tonight Finn is throwing a big party. And we need to get ready.”  _

Whining, Raven walked into the kitchen so as not to wake up Octavia. “But I don’t want to go to a party.” 

_ “Come oooon. You’ll have fun.”  _

“Ughhhh fine but why do I have to leave now?” 

_ “Because it’s nearly twelve and we have a lot of shit to do.”  _

“So? Isn’t the part going to be tonight?” 

_ “Raven Marie! You nearly gave me a heart attack this morning when I thought you were like dead or something! And we didn’t even get to hang out yesterday. We just want to see you… okay?”  _

“Of course! I’m sorry! I’ll send you the address.” 

_ “Good we’re already on our way.”  _

Raven chuckled. “Of course you are. Well then I guess you’ll see me soon. Love you!” 

_ “Yeah, yeah. We love you too.”  _

Despite her tone, Raven could tell she was smiling, and she couldn’t help but smile herself as she opened her phone to text the address. Just as she sent it, a raspy voice caught her attention. 

“Good morning.” 

Looking up, Raven laughed at a groggy looking Octavia in the doorway. 

“Don’t be mean.”  Octavia whined, walking forward to hug Raven, burying her face in her neck. “I’m tired.” 

“Yeah well it’s almost noon. Time to get up sleeping beauty.” 

“I don’t wanna.”  Octavia mumbled into Raven’s neck. 

“Well you have to. I have to go.” 

Octavia pulled back confused, frowning. “What why?” 

Shrugging, Raven started heading back to the living room for her bag. “Luna and Anya want to go to something before we go to a party tonight.” 

Octavia perked up at that. “At Finn’s?” Raven nodded. “So I guess I’ll be seeing you later then!” 

“Oh are you going?” 

Rolling her eyes, Octavia scoffed. “Nooo Raven I was planning on just following you around all day.” 

“There’s the sarcastic Octavia I know. I guess it just took you a little while to wake up.” Raven teased, playfully. 

“Oh shut up.”  Octavia groaned falling face first onto the couch. “Just leave already.” 

Faking a pout, Raven sighed as she dramatically marched to the door. “Fine I know when I’m not wanted. Goodbye forever!” 

“See you later drama queen!” 

As she heard the door slam shut, Octavia completely relaxed. Part of her had wanted to talk to Raven about the night before, but she knew that it would probably be better if neither of them said anything. Either way at least now she had a reason to go to the party tonight. 

 

OoOoOoO

 

Raven groaned as she walked back into the room. “I literally look like a stereotype.” 

Looking up, Luna raised an eyebrow. “Is that a problem? I think lesbians looks pretty good.”    


“Yeah I think you look hot.” Anya agreed.

Rolling her eyes, Raven stared at herself in the mirror. “Okay but seriously? Jeans a flannel and combat boots? All I’m missing is a snapback.”    


“Well what would you rather be wearing?” Anya asked, crossing her arms. 

“I don’t know…” Raven shrugged. “My jacket… a shirt... Anything not picked out by you.” 

“Well too bad that doesn’t go with your flannel,” Luna grinned. “And oh! Look at the time! We gotta go, no time to change!” 

Tired from the night before, and not too excited to go to the party,  Raven was getting fed up of her girlfriend’s antics. She really just wanted to stay home and curl up on the couch watching Netflix. But when you’re dating two of the most popular girls in schools, parties are a must. She had never really been a party person, but last year after everyone found out about her she hadn’t been invited to a single one. And she wasn’t really looking forward to this one. 

Even if Octavia was going to be there.

But since she had no choice. Raven reluctantly went along and tried to have a good time. 

The night started off pretty normally. The moment they walked in the door, Luna and Anya headed straight to the kitchen to get drinks. They both opted to do shots, but Raven decided to just sip on some of the punch. Everyone knows that the punch is stronger than it seems, but Raven was smart enough to take it easy. 

Letting out a sharp breath after her shot, Anya grinned. “Let’s get this party staaaaarted!” 

Loosening up a little, Raven followed the small group of people who were heading to the basement to play pool. Since they had gotten there early, it wasn’t too crowded and they were able to get a few games in before it got crazy. 

When things did start getting a little more party like they all decided to go upstairs. Raven was a little reserved at all the people there, but when she saw Octavia she instantly lit up. Calling out, she started weaving her way towards the girl standing awkwardly by herself. “O!” 

Utterly relieved that she was no longer alone, Octavia clung to her. “Oh thank god! I thought no one was going to talk to me.” 

“Don’t be crazy.”  Raven laughed. “Who wouldn’t want to talk to you?”

Octavia smiled at her kind words, but felt on edge again when she saw Anya and Luna glaring at her. After a moment the two came over, wrapping themselves around Raven’s shoulders and waist, earning a blush from the smaller girl. 

“Who’s ready to get waaaaasted?!!!!!!!!” 

Raven scoffed at the dumb boy that interrupted them by running past with two bottles duct taped to his hands, but Luna seemed intrigued. Bumping into Raven’s hip with her own, she looked down. “Well what do you say babe. Are you ready to get  _ waaaaaasted?”  _

“Oh I’m good.”  Raven said hoisting up the same drink she had been nursing since they came in. “I don’t really feel like getting drunk tonight.” 

Anya grinned mischievously at that. “Well you know what that means!” 

Raven looked to Octavia for clarity, but the brunette just shrugged. “No I actually don’t… what does it mean.” 

Sharing a look Anya and Luna shouted in unison. “BODY SHOTS!” 

The moment their boisterous yell left their mouths a table was being cleared and someone was grabbing limes, but Raven was still confused. “But I said I’m not drinking…?” 

“Exactly. So we’ll just be drinking off of you.” Luna explained as if it was crazy that she didn’t understand.

Blushing, Raven’s jaw dropped “What? No! I- I can’t.” 

“Oh come on babe.”  Anya whined, pulling Raven closer by her shirt. “It’ll be so hot.” 

Unbeknownst to the trio, the same thought was running through Octavia’s mind. But she didn’t show it. 

After a little more encouraging Raven let Luna unbutton her flannel as Anya kissed up her neck. Left in just a tank top she climbed on top of the table, before slowly peeling it off her chest and throwing it to Octavia who eagerly caught it.

Caught up in all the commotion and people cheering them on, Raven smirked as she laid down on the empty table. Anya stepped forward, and winked as she sprinkled salt on the toned abs above Raven’s stomach. “I’m first.” 

Raven obediently opened her mouth for Anya to put a lime between her lips. She would have shivered as the cold tequila was poured into her belly button if she hadn’t felt so hot from Anya’s fiery gaze. 

Almost perfectly on cue the song changed to something slow and hot as Raven felt Anya’s tongue come down to lick up the salt. Raven held back a moaned as the pillowy lips then moved to her belly button sucking roughly before finally coming back up so they were face to face. For a moment Anya just stared down a her eyes black with lust, but then she ferociously pressed their lips together. Their kiss intensified as the small crowd around them cheered, only getting louder when Anya pulled back with the lime now in her mouth. 

Raven was slightly dazed,  but Octavia was dead on the floor. Sure she would have much rather been the one doing the kissing, but she couldn’t deny how ridiculously hot Raven looked. And just when she didn’t think it could get any better, Luna stepped forward ready for her turn.

With a smirk she poured some salt into the valley of Raven’s heaving chest and replaced the lime. 

Going painfully slow she licked up the salt taking a moment to nip at the soft skin. Raven moaned behind the lime at that, which only further inspired Luna to swirl her tongue around her stomach as she slurped up the tequila. As she climbed up onto the table for a searing kiss, the lime was long forgotten. Their lips moved together effortly as Luna slowly ground her hips into Raven, making her moan more. 

When they finally had to pull back for air, a very drunk Finn came up to the table. “My turn now?” 

“Fuck off Finn.”  Anya growled, and for the first time ever Octavia was glad that Anya was there. 

As Raven slid off the table, Octavia shyly offered her back her tanktop, trying not to stare at her in just a bra. But Raven didn’t seem to notice or mind. She was too busy getting her face sucked off by Luna. 

Octavia’s grip on her cup tightened when the trio started to make their way the living room. She quickly chugged it when they continued making out as they sat down. She grabbed another cup and swallowed it one gulp, and was preparing to finish off another when a deep voice made her turn around. 

“Hey Octavia, I thought that was you.” 

Seeing that it was only Lincoln, Octavia tipped back the drink in her hand before giving him her attention. 

“Looks like you could use a refill. Want me to-” 

Before he could finish,  Octavia had switched the cups in their hands and started to drink his. Getting the message Lincoln turned to get more drinks, leaving Octavia to frown at the three girls all over each other on the couch. 

But moments later Lincoln returned holding two shots. “I thought I’d mix it up a little.” 

He shrugged when he saw the scrutinizing look Octavia was sending his way. But hesitantly he held out his hand waiting to see her reaction. Octavia eagerly accepted the shot, and downed it with ease before snatching Lincoln’s and doing the same. 

Impressed, Lincoln’s eyes widened before he smirked. “Wow. I like girls who can drink.” 

Octavia scowled. “Just shut up and get me another.” 

 

OoOoOoO

 

Raven groaned as she looked at her phone.  _ 2:27.  _ In her opinion it was way too late to still be at a party, but based on the many sweaty and completely wasted people still going strong, no one seemed to agree with her. 

She had been looking around for Anya and Luna for the past 15 minutes, and was still yet to find them because Finn’s house was so big, but she was determined. After her third lap of the first floor, she had almost given up, until she saw Clarke and Lexa. Sure she wasn’t particularly enthused to see her cousin making out with someone but she was desperate. 

Weaving her way through the sweaty mob of people dancing, she tapped Clarke on the shoulder. “Have you seen Luna or Anya?” 

Lexa looked slightly annoyed at being interrupted, but Clarke was a happy drunk. “Raaaaaaaven! Oh my god I missed you!” 

Rolling her eyes at the blonde’s attempt to give her a hug, Raven looked back at Lexa. “Have you seen them?” 

Shrugging Lexa looked around the room. “No.” 

“I haaaaaaave!”  Clarke yelled in a sing songy voice that made Raven flinch at her volume. “They left a little while ago. Heeeeey weren’t you with them?” 

“No Clarke clearly I wasn’t. I’m right here.” 

“Ohhhh that’s riiiiight. The ummmmm ball kicky team had a game tomorrow so they went home early.” 

Raven frowned. “The soccer team left?” 

“Yep!” Clarke smiled popping the p. Eyes widening at the sound she made, she continued smacking her lips trying to make the perfect p until Lexa silenced her with a kiss.

“Can you at least wait till I leave.”  Raven groaned, getting slightly annoyed that no one bothered to tell her. “So where’s Luna?”

“Dunno.”  Clarke slurred, leaning into Lexa. “I think the bolleyball team is having a  _ slumber party.  _ Ooooh Lexy can  _ we  _  have a slumber party?” 

Answering for her, Raven sighed. “Yes you can. Because it’s time to go home. So let’s leave.” 

Clarke hummed, thinking to herself. “Can we get Wendy’s??!!!” 

“We can do whatever you want. I’m just gonna go to the bathroom and I’ll be  _ right  _ back, so  _ don’t leave _ .” Raven emphasized trying to make sure both girls understood. 

After getting two drunken nods, Raven shook her head and set off for the bathroom. But after aimlessly waiting in line for entirely too long, she decided to try and find one upstairs. Carefully she stepped around all the people making out on the staircase, and eventually made it to the second floor, but once she got there, she realized she had no idea where the bathroom would be.

Everyone knew that the second floor bedrooms were designated for hooking up, and she really didn’t want to see anything scarring, so after a foolproof decision of eenie meenie miney mo she hesitantly walked to the third door on the right. Grabbing the door knob she slowly opened it with her eyes closed. Hearing nothing she stepped inside and looked around only to be met with a guy pulling off his pants over a girl lying on the bed. 

“Dude! Get out!” 

Recognizing the voice as Lincoln, Raven was about to sprint out the door for fear of angering him more. But then she noticed the girl. Lying unmoving in her underwear, her head was turned away from the door, and based on the predatory way Lincoln was looking at her, Raven knew she couldn’t just leave whoever this was. 

“Hey is she okay?” 

Not even looking up, Lincoln snarled. “She’s fine. Just leave.” 

At that the girl stirred slightly and let out a low groan, making Raven frown. “She looks pretty drunk.” 

“I said she’s fine! Now leave us alone… Or you could join us…” 

Clearly Lincoln hadn’t registered who she was, otherwise he never would have suggested that. Which made Raven slightly more confident that he wouldn’t try and get revenge on her. “No thanks, I don’t like taking advantage of drunk girls.” 

Now getting annoyed at the presence of some strange girl getting in the way of him getting some, Lincoln stalked over to her.  “She’s 100% fine. She wants this. Now.  _ LEAVE _ !” 

But Raven held her ground, scowling up at the behemoth towering above her. “I’ll let  _ her  _ tell me how she is.”  Craning her neck to see around Lincoln, she tried to get the nearly passed out brunette’s attention. “HEY! Are you okay?” 

Stirring once again the girl rolled over so that Raven could just make out her face. But when she recognized who it was a wave of horror washed over her. “Octavia?” 

Sleepily Octavia’s eyes blinked open and she tried to remember where she was, but when she couldn’t she turned to the familiar voice. “Rae Rae?” 

Raven choked up at the realization that if she had just been a couple minutes later, who would’ve known what could have happened. Shifting her gaze from the bed, she gave Lincoln her best glare. “Get the fuck out.” 

The drunken beast looked like he was about to say something, but instead just threw up his hands and grabbed his pants. “Whatever. She wasn’t that hot anyway.” 

Blood boiling, Raven slammed the door as he left. The sudden sound made Octavia whine, but Raven quickly rushed to her side. “Octavia. O?  Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” 

Moaning, Octavia let her head loll to the side, too tired or drunk to keep it up. If her eyes  _ had  _ been open she probably would have blushed at the concerned look Raven was giving her, but right now she too out of it to focus on anything. 

Only getting more worried at her lack of response, Raven gently slapped Octavia’s cheeks trying to get her to wake up. “Octavia please. Get up.” 

Confused as to why there was someone tapping on her face, Octavia scrunched up her nose, peeking open an eye. “Raven? What are you doing?” 

Instantly relieved, Raven couldn’t help but pull her into a hug. “Oh thank god you’re okay!” 

Octavia hummed happily loving how tight Raven was holding her. And when far too soon for her liking the older girl pulled back, she pouted. “Noooo don’t go.“

“Oh I’m not going anywhere.” Raven assured, running her thumb over Octavia’s cheek, staring deep into her vulnerable eyes. “Now come on, let’s get you home.” 

Still not sure that she wasn’t leaving, Octavia propped herself up when Raven moved to go find her clothes. And then she suddenly realized she was only in her underwear. 

Raven noticed her frowning down at herself, and came back to the side of the bed. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah ‘f course.” Octavia slurred, slowly shaking her head. “ ‘Ts just… where are my pants?” 

“Right here.” Holding up a pair of jeans, Raven looked down at the floor. “Do you er…. need help with them?” 

Octavia nodded and laid back down. Hesitantly Raven started to pull the the pants up her leg, until the drunken girl peered down at her with hooded eyes. “Rae Rae?” 

“Yeah O?” 

Biting her lip, Octavia tried her hardest look in Raven’s eyes. “Did we ummmm… Did we…  _ do it?”  _

Raven’s eyes widened as she blushed furiously. “Oh my god O! No! Of course not!”  

For the smallest fraction of a second, Octavia frowned. “Oh.” A beat passed as the two just stared at each other. “Do you… do you want to?” 

Staring back at her doe eyed friend, Raven shook her head. “No O. You’re drunk. I’m just gonna take you home. Okay?” 

“M’kay.” 

After their very awkward moment, Raven managed to get the pants all the way up her legs and buttoned, without Octavia causing too much fuss. But she then realized she had no idea where her shirt was. Slowly helping the girl sit up, Raven continued looking around the room. “Do you know where your shirt is?” 

Only receiving a shrug, Raven frowned. They were probably going to have to walk home and she couldn’t just let her walk around shirtless. Thinking for a moment, she unbuttoned her flannel, leaving her in just a tank top.  Octavia smiled sleepily as Raven helped her into it and buttoned it up. 

Surrounded by Raven’s scent she felt so safe, and warm, and reaaaally sleepy. Raven stifled a laugh as the small girl rubbed the sleeve on her face and nearly purred. “Mmmmmm. I like this shirt. It’s like you’re giving me one  _ biiiig looong _ hug.” 

Raven hummed in acknowledgement trying to hide how cute she thought Octavia was being by not looking at her. But her attention was soon brought back to the drunken girl when she started giggling uncontrollably. “ What’s so funny?” 

Unable to stop laughing, Octavia tried to speak between her hiccups. “Do you know what else is big and long?” 

Raven froze. Staring skeptically at the giggling brunette she asked, “What?” 

“I’ll give you a hint… it has cum in it.” 

Blushing, Raven couldn’t bring herself to look anywhere remotely close to Octavia. “I don’t know.”

Octavia paused for a moment before taking a deep breath and bursting out laughing. “ A CUCUMBER!” 

Not able to hold back her laugh, Raven shook her head. “I forgot what a smart ass you can be when you’re drunk.” 

“But you still looooove me.” 

Smiling, Raven pulled her to her feet. “Always O.” 

 

ooo

 

As they made their way downstairs, Octavia completely leaning against Raven, the party was still going strong. Raven looked into the living room, but not seeing Clarke or Lexa, she decided to go outside. 

Once Octavia was safely sitting on the front porch, Raven stepped into the yard to call Lexa.

_ “Hello?”  _

“Lexa where the hell are you?” 

_ “Oooooh somebody called the party pooper police.”   _

Ignoring Clarke cracking up in the background, Raven got serious. “I’m not kidding. Where are you? Please tell me you’re not driving.” 

_ “Relaaax Captain Reyes. I’m not. We’re at Wendy’s. Do you want some?”  _

“No. You were supposed to wait for me.” 

_ “Sorry. You were just gone soooo long. We got an Uber though, we could come get you.”  _

“No we can’t wait. I guess we’ll just walk.” 

_ “Who is weeeee?” _

“I found Octavia and she’s pretty wasted so I’m taking her home.” 

Raven could practically hear Lexa’s frown. “ _ Why _ ?”

“Cause she can’t get home by herself.” 

_ “So?”  _

“I’m not just leaving her.” 

_ “Oh right cause she has never done that to you.”  _

That hurt. Raven knew it was true, but she didn’t care, and she certainly didn’t want to think about it. “I’m not doing this right now. I’m going home. If you need anything call.” 

Not even waiting for a response, Raven hung up. 

Walking back to Octavia, she wasn’t even surprised to find her asleep on the floor. Shaking her gently, Octavia jolted awake. “What’s happening?” 

Once again helping her to feet, Raven patiently waited for her to understand. “Come on get up. We’re going home.” 

“M’kay. Where’s your car?” 

“I don’t have one.” Intertwining their hands, Raven tried to lead Octavia off the porch only for her to pull back.

“But I live so far away. How are we getting home?” 

Raven hadn’t thought about that. Back when they were best friends they had lived on the same street, but now she had no idea where Octavia lived. After a moment, she just shrugged, and again tried to get her to follow. “We can just go to my house.” 

Seemingly pleased, Octavia followed along willingly until they reached the sidewalk. Stopping abruptly she whined. “Owwww.” 

Instantly worried, Raven stopped too. “What’s wrong?” 

“My feet hurt” Octavia pouted staring at her feet. 

Raven followed her gaze and frowned as well. “Where are your shoes?” 

“I dunno.” 

Sighing, Raven didn’t know what to do. “Well can you walk?” 

Octavia shook her head. “Just gimme your shoes.” 

“What? No!” Raven protested. “I’m already freezing cause you have my shirt!” 

“Pweeeease?” 

“No.” 

“Why don’t you loooove me?” Octavia whined making Raven feel even more guilty. 

“I do you’re just being a baby.” Raven admitted, getting slightly crabby that she still wasn’t home in bed. .

Crossing her arms and letting out a huff, Octavia looked pretty adorable in Raven’s opinion.“Rude!” 

“I’m sorry. You’re not a baby.”  Raven relented, offering her hand once more. “Now can we go? It’s getting late.” 

Octavia smirked drunkenly up at her. “Carry me.” 

Not sure if she heard that right, Raven furrowed her brow. “What?” 

“Carry meeee.” Octavia asked again, holding out her arms.

Shaking her head in disbelief, Raven ran a hand through her hair. “O I’m tired, there’s no way I can carry you all the way home.” 

“Well you can at least tryyyy.”  Octavia insisted with her best puppy dog eyes.

“You know what. If it means you’ll stop whining… Okay.” Turning around she bent over slightly. “Hop on.” 

“Yayyyyyyyy!” 

Almost too eagerly, Octavia jumped onto Raven’s back nearly knocking her over. But after a moment, Raven steadied herself and started their trek home. For a little while Octavia just laid her head on Raven’s shoulder while Raven tried to ignore the hot breath tickling her neck. But when she felt a nose nuzzle into her, right against her pulse point, she nearly dropped the girl on her back. 

“O-o-Octavia?”  Only receiving a hum in response, Raven continued. “Whatcha doing there?” 

Octavia inhaled deeply. “You smell good.” 

Chuckling in disbelief, Raven stopped to reposition so Octavia wouldn’t fall off. “Are you smelling me right now?” 

“I can’t help it…. You smell soooo good.” Raven could feel Octavia’s arms tighten around her neck as she sighed. “You’re… you’re so… toxic.” 

“I really hope you mean intoxicating not toxic.” 

“Probably.”  Octavia muttered against her neck.

“Good I wouldn’t want to have to drop you if you insulted me.” Raven joked, turning her head slightly to see Octavia with her eyes closed. 

Octavia gasped, and held on tighter. “You wouldn’t!” 

“You’re right.”  Raven chuckled. “I wouldn’t.” 

“That’s what I thought.”  Octavia hummed. “You’re too nice. It’s not fair that only Luna and Anya get you. They’re so lucky.” 

Raven raised an eyebrow, knowing that Octavia wouldn’t see it. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah they probably get to smell you all the time.” Taking another breath, she sighed. “I bet you taste good too.” 

If they could have, Raven’s eyes would have been popping out of her head. “What?” Before she could even think about why Octavia would have asked that, she felt a warm tongue run up her neck.  “Oh my god did you just lick me?”

Smacking her lips, Octavia nodded. “I was right. You do taste good.” 

Rolling her  eyes, Raven gave a light laugh. “You’re crazy you know that?” 

“Only about you.”  

A halfhearted grin twitched at the corner of Raven’s lips, but deep down she knew she didn’t really mean it. “Of course you are.” 

As if sensing her inner turmoil, Octavia frowned. “What? It’s true.”  She whined. “You’re amazing. Who wouldn’t love you?” 

“If you say so.” 

“No I mean it!” Octavia insisted, hugging her tighter.

Raven scoffed. “You weren’t saying that last year.” The moment she said it, Raven instantly regretted it. But when she heard Octavia start to sniffle, and then felt tears on her shoulder, she felt awful. Wait O… I didn’t mean that! Don’t cry.” 

“Put me down.” 

“O come on. Please.” Raven begged, trying not to lose her grip as Octavia wriggled away. 

Finally realizing that she couldn’t hold on much longer, she walked them over to a bench and let Octavia get off.  Immediately she stumbled to sit down, and pulled her knees into her chest, tears freely falling. 

Raven sat down as well, rubbing her hand on the quaking girl’s back. “Everything’s okay. Why are you crying?” 

When she saw Octavia look up with tear stained cheeks, Raven only felt worse. She had never seen Octavia look so defeated. 

In the smallest voice possible, Octavia whispered, “Cause I’m a bad person.” 

“No! O you’re not a bad person.” Raven said, trying to calm her down. 

“Yes I am! You know that most of all!” 

“O… Really you don’t have to go there.” 

“But I feel awful!” Octavia, cried, tears starting to roll off her cheeks. “You hate me!” 

“I don’t hate you!” Raven insisted, desperate to change the subject.

“How could you not? I hate me!” 

“Look… You did what you did. But the past is in the past. We just need to get over it.” 

Octavia shook her head. “But- But- I can’t! I can’t live knowing you hate me!” 

“O I don’t hate you!” Raven said again, starting to worry about where this is going.

“But I hurt you!” 

“Yes what you did hurt.  And I really resented you for a while.” Clearing her throat, Raven tried to choke down the feelings that were trying to bubble out.  “But you were just scared. I ruined everything when I said I love you and you were scared. I get it.” 

“No I wasn't! I wasn’t scared!” Looking her dead in the eye, Octavia wiped away her tears. “And you’re not a freak! And I didn’t mean it.” 

“Octavia…” 

“Pleeeease. Just listen to me. I have to explain myself.” Octavia begged, grabbing Raven’s hand and turning to sit facing her.

Completely emotionless, Raven relented, but pulled her hand away.  “Fine. But we’re never talking about it again.” 

“Okay.” Slightly surprised that she had gotten this far, Octavia took a deep breath.  “Raven first of all I need you to know I love you. I do. You know?” 

“Yeah okay.” 

“And I wasn’t weirded out by your dick, or the fact that you’re gay. I swear!” 

“I believe you.” Knowing that she was only saying all this because she was drunk out of her mind, Raven internally rolled her eyes. 

“It’s just… I couldn’t date you. I couldn’t have people thinking I was gay.” 

Raven scowled at that. She didn’t peg Octavia as homophobic, but she wasn’t always the best judge of character. “Why?” 

Octavia’s lip quivered. “M-my mom. She doesn’t like gay people.” 

“What do you mean you don’t like gay people? Bellamy’s gay.” Raven pressed, only getting more confused the more she explained. 

“She... she kicked him out.” 

“What?” The disbelief in Raven’s voice was apparent.

“When he came out, she kicked him out of the house. Said she wouldn’t tolerate a gay person living in her house.” Octavia explained, hanging her head.

Feeling so terrible for having been too caught up in her own problem to even care about her friend, Raven felt tears start to form in her eyes. “Oh my god O… I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” 

“And then when you asked me out, I knew if I said yes my mom wouldn’t let me live with her.” 

They were both crying now.

Raven ran a hand through her hair, shaking her head in disbelief. “You know I would have let you stay with us!” 

Octavia’s voice cracked. “I-I- I just couldn’t risk it. But then she found out anyway. Somehow she knew, and she told me to stay away from you. And- and I told her we were friends and I didn’t like you like that… But she didn’t care. So when I refused she pulled me out of school and sent me to live with my uncle.” 

“O…” 

Shaking her head, breath ragged, Octavia continued.“But he was never home, so I just moved in with Bellamy. And it’s just been the two of us ever since. And yeah it’s hard. And I feel so terrible that Bellamy has to work  his ass off to pay for me. But b-but we can’t go back. We’d have nowhere to go.” 

“O that’s terrible. Why didn’t you tell me.”

“Because you hated me!” Octavia wailed, burying her face in her hands. ”And you should have! I was terrible. I hurt you!” 

“I didn’t know everything that was going on with you. I would have understood.” 

“But I didn’t deserve you after what I did.” 

“Don’t even say that. You were my best friend.” Raven whispered, voice seconds from breaking.

“And I was supposed to protect you! Not leave you behind.” 

“Hey!” Grabbing Octavia by the shoulders, Raven stared into her eyes. “Look at me! I’m fine now. I’m okay. I’m not broken. Sure it might have felt like that sometimes, but I’m fine. I’m happy. AndI would be a lot happier if you were happy too. I’d be a lot happier if you were my friend, and didn’t feel guilty or  hung up on what you did.” 

Throwing herself into Raven’s arms, Octavia sobbed. “I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry!” 

Holding her as tight as she could, Raven swallowed back her own cries, trying to not completely fall apart. “I’m sorry too.” 

They stayed together, in each other’s arms, just appreciating the other’s closeness, for what seemed like eternity, until Raven broke the silence, but still not letting go.

“Okay, I think we need to go home. I’m freezing my ass off.” 

Octavia laughed weakly, just completely exhausted, from her crying, being drunk and their emotional conversation. “Sorry.” 

Pulling back, Raven tilted her chin up so she could look at her eyes. “What are you sorry for now? I said I forgive you.” 

“You’re cold cause I took your shirt.” She muttered.

Raven laughed. “Well you’d be even colder without it. Plus you look cute in it.” 

Trying not to blush, Octavia let Raven pull her to her feet. But when the Latina let go of her, she started wobbling, struggling to stay upright. Of course, Raven was there before she could even say anything, grabbing her hips to steady her. “Woah there. You’re still a little drunker than I thought you’d be. I forgot you were such a lightweight.” 

Pouting her adorable pout once more, Octavia rubbed her eyes. “I’m not a lightweight, I just drank a lot.” 

“Sure Jan.”  Raven laughed, helping her onto her back once more. “ Just don’t throw up on me.” 

Octavia mumbled something in response, but it was clear from the moment that she was back on Raven, she wasn’t going to be very talkative. With her head nestled into the crook of Raven’s neck, and Raven’s hands securely under her thighs, she felt safe. And as Raven’s slow and steady steps continued to lull her, it wasn’t long before she fell asleep.

Raven smiled as she felt Octavia’s breath even out against her neck, and she fell completely limp against her. Sure that made carrying her a lot more difficult, but she was just glad to know she was kay. 

It had been a long night. But if anything, it just brought the two friends closer together. 

Raven didn’t even notice the tears rolling off her cheeks as she continued walking. For as long as she had known Octavia, she had been her protector, and tonight she learned she had failed her once before, and almost failed her again. After hearing everything she went through with her mom, Raven was just that more grateful that she had stepped into the room when she did. She didn’t want to let anything happen to Octavia ever again. And she certainly couldn’t be mad at her. Of course she had to forgive her. 

But one thing just wasn’t sitting right with her. Octavia said she couldn’t say yes, but did that mean she  _ wouldn’t   _ have. 

 

ooo

 

As she continued her slow march home, Raven was exhausted. Her mind was swimming, her arms and legs were aching. She was dead tired, but she knew had to get Octavia home safely. At least she wasn’t drunk. That only would have made things 1000 times worse. 

It was well after 3 in the morning when she finally reached the house. With Octavia still on her back, Raven snuck in the back door and by Clarke and Lexa passed out on the couch. Getting upstairs was a bit of a challenge with so much dead weight, but somehow Raven managed to make it to her room. After gently placing Octavia down on her bed, she quickly followed suit, collapsing next to her.

Completely exhausted, Raven wanted nothing more than to fall asleep, but minutes after they had laid down, Octavia sprang upright and bolted for the bathroom. Groaning, Raven ran after her prepared to hold her hair. But luckily for the both of them, it was a false alarm.

Raven carefully led a wobbling Octavia back to the bed, and put her down once more despite the girls protests. “Noooooooo don’t leave meeeeee.” 

“Octavia I’m literally just getting pajamas.” 

“Oh… M’kay well come back soon. I need cuddles.” Octavia declared flinging herself into a pillow.

Chuckling to herself, Raven changed into a pair of sweatpants and grabbed a big shirt and pair of shorts for Octavia. Turning back around she wasn’t at all surprised to see Octavia completely sprawled out on the bed, leaving no room for anyone else. She stopped at the foot of the bed to cross her arms. 

“You know I can’t cuddle you if there’s no space for me on the bed.” 

Whining, Octavia rolled over to retort, only to be hit in the face with the clothes Raven brought her. But rather than further complain, she just lazily sat up and raised her arms. Understanding what she wanted, Raven rolled her eyes and quickly unbuttoned the flannel, replacing it with the t-shirt. She thought Octavia could at least handle taking off her own pants, but when the tired girl just fell back and raised her hips, that was definitely out of the question. 

Shaking her head while fighting a smile, Raven slipped the jeans down her legs. But when she tried to put the shorts on, Octavia rolled away. “Nooooo. No pants.” 

Too tired to argue, Raven relented and threw the shorts somewhere in her room before crawling into bed. The moment she pulled back the covers Octavia darted under them instantly snuggling into the middle of the bed. Raven was about to pull the blankets over the both of them when Octavia sat up again. “Do you still have Mr. Cuddles?” 

Raven was shocked. Why did Octavia care about the poorly named stuffed bunny she had given to Raven after winning him at the fair. “Uh yeah I do.” 

“Well where is he?” Octavia demanded, furrowing her brow.

Still confused, Raven shrugged. “I think he’s in the closet.” 

Octavia fell apart at that. Throwing herself into the bed she audibly gasped. ”No! Don’t keep him in the closet! He shouldn’t be in the closet! Make him come out! No one should be in the closet!” 

“O it’s fine just go to sleep.” 

Turning off the lights, Raven hoped she would just forget about the bunny, but when she lied down, she could just make out a small mumble. “It’s no fun being in the closet.” 

_ How would she know about that?  _

As much she would have loved to ask her what she meant by that, Raven decided that neither of them were in any mood to stay up later talking. Trying not to think about  itanymore she just sighed and rolled onto her back. But before she could get comfortable, Octavia rolled over as well, throwing her leg over Raven’s waist and nuzzling her head into her chest.

Humming contently, Octavia let out a deep exhale. “Night Rae Rae…” 

And then just when Raven thought she had fallen asleep again, Octavia whispered one last thing. 

“I love you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The square root of 16 is 4 and that's how long it took me to write this 4everrrrrrrr. This got kind of long.  
> Yeah so I kind of got carried away... there was sooo much that I wanted to happen so it's a little chaotic, but I think it turned out okay. I hope you enjoy!!!
> 
> Thank you for all the kudos and comments, and reading! (I can't believe this almost at 11K views!!!)
> 
> IMPORTANT QUESTION  
> So there’s two ways the story can go from here and they depend on how you want this to end. So my question is:  
> Would you rather Octaven finally getting together being the end? Or would you want them dating and stuff as part of the story?   
> Let me know what you think. Enjoy!


	17. Chapter 17

 

_ I love you.  _

3 words. 8 letters. Say it and I’ll be up half the night trying to figure out what you actually meant, while fighting off a heart attack.  

When the heart stops beating, the brain can survive for around 6 minutes without blood flow. But that night, Raven’s heart stopped for much longer than 6 minutes, yet rather than shut down, her brain jumped into overdrive. 

_ I love you.  _

_ Te amo.  _

_ Je t’aime.  _

_ Ich liebe dich.  _

_ S’agapo.  _

_ Ámote _ . 

How can these words all mean the same thing, but have so many different meanings? 

_ I love you.  _

Moms say it without question to their children.Couples whisper it as they lie next to each other under the stars. Drunk girls scream it to each other in a bathroom.   Everyone at least thinks it about their pizza delivery guy. And best friends say it all the time. Right? 

But each one is a different kind of love, so how is anyone supposed to tell which one you mean? 

Since the middle of the night is the best time to ponder life’s many mysteries, it’s only fair that Raven couldn’t seem to fall asleep. How could anyone sleep with so many questions unanswered? 

So now, here she was, lying in the dark, a steadily breathing Octavia completely sprawled across her, as she tried to stop her heart from racing. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time she had spent her night just like this. She had spent countless nights staring aimlessly into the darkness. Countless nights holding back tears. Countless nights trying to make herself believe she wasn’t in love with her best friend. Countless nights feeling lucky just to have someone so amazing in her life.. 

And after only three little words, Raven found herself back in 7th grade; feeling just as helpless, just as confused, just as in love with Octavia. 

The only difference now? The girl who could never ever even slightly love her back, might just feel the same way. 

Naturally, Raven couldn’t help but panic. She wanted to scream. She wanted to just climb a mountain and scream to the entire world. Let out all her pent up frustration and confusion. But with a peacefully sleeping Octavia depending on her for comfort and stability, there was nothing she could do. 

So like any normal human would do, she imploded; having a mental breakdown on the inside while remaining calm for everyone else to see. 

There was no doubt in her mind that she was in love with Octavia. That was a given. Raven had known that for years. But to have a random proclamation of love potentially change your entire life would make anyone go a little crazy. 

Raven felt her breathing start to pick up as her mind continued to race.  _ Did Octavia really feel the same way? Could she ever?  _ It wasn’t the first time the blue eyed girl had said I love you, but this somehow felt different. That wasn’t a normal best friend, ride or die, I’ll always love you kind of love. It seemed deeper. But Raven couldn’t be sure. 

It’s like when you have a crush, and over analyze every single action they do. Blowing even the smallest thing out of proportion. Raven had done that so many times in the past. Too many times. She told herself she wouldn’t do it anymore. But after the night they’d had, she couldn’t help but question every touch, every look, every unspoken word. 

Sadly, the idea that Octavia could actually feel the same way, quickly slipped away. There was just no way. No one could feel the same way. Why would anyone love a freak? Raven swallowed thickly, trying to make sure she didn’t cry. She couldn’t. She couldn’t wake Octavia up. Even if she’d never love her back, Raven would do anything in the world for her. 

Letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in, Raven closed her eyes. She just wanted sleep. She just wanted everything to stop. She wanted to stop thinking. She wanted to stop hurting. She wanted to stop being alone. But she wasn’t alone. She had Lexa. She had Clarke. Anya and Luna loved her for some reason. But without Octavia she felt so alone. 

Her breath was ragged now. She could feel her heart racing in comparison to the slow steady beats of Octavia. Raven tried to slow down, to match Octavia’s steadiness, but the more she became aware of the sleeping girl on top of her, the more she panicked. But just as she was about work herself up into a full on panic attack, Octavia was there to ground her. Just like she always was. 

Letting out a soft hum, Octavia curled  further into Raven’s chest as if she were trying to get as close as possible. As if she couldn’t bear having space between them. With her leg and arm thrown completely over Raven, it seemed like she was never going to let go. At least that’s what Raven hoped. 

There had been many a night in that same position where Octavia’s steady breath tickling her neck has somehow managed to lull her to sleep, but tonight, it only put Raven more on edge. Seeing Octavia look so innocent, so perfectly content with just being there in her arms, just like how they’d used to be, made Raven’s heart hurt. 

She couldn’t do it. Raven had missed Octavia so much, and for so long. She had just got her back as a friend, and she couldn’t risk that by being so in love with her. Letting her arm around Octavia tighten its hold to pull her tighter, Raven sighed. 

She loved Octavia. She always would, and she didn’t plan on stopping any time soon. But she also didn’t want to mess up what they had.  _ Would it really be messing anything up if Octavia felt the same way?  _ No.  _ But she doesn’t. _

Raven sighed again. This was the worst part about working herself up and letting herself believe that there was something more between them; she always had to come crashing back to reality. And no matter how many times it happened, it was always a crash. Like free falling through the atmosphere with no parachute and feeling the thrill only to be smashed into a million pieces when she reached the ground. 

Yet no matter how many times she crashed, there was always a sliver of hope. Just a chance that she loved her back. A smile that meant more than met the eye. A lingering hug that melted away any sadness. A cute nickname that would leave her blushing for hours. Every little thing that she did that only made Raven fall harder, but also made everything hurt so much more.

Trying to push away her thoughts, desperately willing the sweet release of sleep to save her, Raven buried her face into Octavia’s hair. And for just a moment everything seemed calm. Her heart slowed down as she matched her breathing to the steady movement of Octavia’s chest. Just feeling the familiar weight on top of her made everything seem less lonely. And as the sweet scent of Octavia’s shampoo washed over her, she simultaneously felt herself incredibly exhausted, but fighting off the urge to sleep.

People say you know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. But for Raven, she couldn’t sleep because waking up could mean losing moments like these. And she wasn’t ready for that.

 

OoOoOoO

 

Octavia woke with a splitting headache. Wincing at the bright light coming in from the window, her first reaction was to bury her face back into the pillow. Except it wasn’t a pillow. Concerned as to why her pillow was so warm, she tried to prop herself up, only to realize an arm was securely around her waist. Finally piecing together that she wasn’t alone in bed, Octavia frowned. 

The events from the night before were kind of a blur, but she did remember going to a party. And she definitely remembered Raven blowing her off to go make out with her girlfriends. So waking up practically on top of her, was kind of a shock. But not an unwelcome one. 

Stretching slightly, Octavia sat up. Raven stirred beneath her, making her freeze, but luckily the girl seemed to be out cold, and just tossed head to the side. Octavia couldn’t help but smile at that. Raven always looked like an angel when she slept. And to see her looking so relaxed was a nice change of scenery from what she’d seen in the past couple of weeks. 

Based on how light it was out, it must have been after noon, but based on the way her way head was throbbing, there was no way she was going to be getting up any time soon. Feeling slightly dizzy as she tried to lie back down, Octavia had never been more grateful to have Raven as a friend. Turning to the side she found a glass of water and two Tylenol, quickly downing them in one swig. No matter how drunk Raven was herself, she always made to sure to put them out for Octavia in the morning. 

Knowing that Raven still cared, made Octavia smile to herself as she cuddled back up to the sleeping girl. Lying on the pillow next to her, she stared lovingly at her perfect features. With her head tossed to the side, messy hair framing her face, lips slightly parted as she let out soft breaths, Octavia thought she had never looked more beautiful. And with the light from the window shining down, she really did look like an angel. 

She would have been perfectly content with just gazing at Raven for the entire morning, but  she was pulled out of her trance by someone clearing their throat. Alerted to a new presence in the room, Octavia slammed her eyes shut, trying to play it off as she had been asleep. 

“I know you’re awake.” 

Octavia flinched. That was the last voice she wanted to hear right now. Lexa barely put up with her at school, so she definitely wouldn’t like her sleeping in her house. Letting out a deep breath, she hoped it looked like she was sound asleep. 

“Octavia.” Lexa said a little sharper.

Lifting her head slightly, Octavia rubbed her eyes as she yawns. “Huh? Where am I?” 

Lexa scoffed. “Please. You think I don’t know you were already awake? Your eyes were  _ wide  _ open when you were staring at my cousin.” 

Too embarrassed to respond, Octavia turned her head to try and hide her blush. 

Stepping away from the doorway, Lexa came around to her side of the bed. “So what are you doing here anyway?” 

Lexa was always intimidating, but there was something about the way her arms were crossed as she towered over her, that made Octavia nervous. “I- uh, I don’t know. I don't really remember much.” 

“Well wanna tell me how you ended up in Raven’s bed?” 

“I can’t really answer that.” Octavia mumbled looking down at the still sleeping girl. 

Following her gaze, Lexa rolled her eyes. “Get up.” 

“What?” Octavia subconsciously moved closer to Raven, not wanting to leave.

“We have some talking to do and I don’t want to wake her. So come on. Get up” 

Octavia gulped as she looked back up at Lexa. Her tone left no room for discussion, so reluctantly she tried to slip out from under Raven’s arm. But as she moved, Raven rolled with her, wrapping her other arm around her. Any other time Octavia would have melted back into the embrace, but right now, with Lexa glaring at her, it was not the time for spooning. 

She tried to move Raven’s hand, but Lexa shook her head, expression softening slightly. “Don’t. Just...wait till she gets up.” 

Before Octavia could even respond, Lexa had left. Not that she was complaining. How could she complain about anything when she was in Raven’s arms? Turning around so she was facing the peacefully sleeping Raven, Octavia gave a small grin. She wished she could spend every morning like this. 

But since nothing good lasts forever, it was only a matter of time until it ended. At least this time she could ease out of it. 

Raven woke up slowly, lazily opening her bleary eyes. She jolted slightly after seeing a pair of striking blue ones staring back at her, but relaxed almost instantly when she remembered who it was. 

“Good morning.” 

“Well hello yourself sleeping beauty.” Octavia chuckled as Raven smiled into her pillow. 

“What time is it?” 

“I think like 12:30. We should get up soon.” 

Raven groaned as she rolled over onto her back, moving her arm in the process. “Just 5 more minutes.” 

Octavia couldn’t help but feel the emptiness from where her hand used to be, but she  still smiled down affectionately at the tired Raven. “Good to see you’re still just as lazy as always.” 

Whining, Raven rolled over again, essentially crushing Octavia in an effort to shut her up. “It’s too early.” 

“Yeah but don’t you smell the bacon?” 

Raven perked up at that. Lifting herself up she smelled the air and sighed happily when there was indeed the wonderful scent of bacon. But when she looked back down at Octavia she was confused as to why the girl was blushing and not meeting her eye. Raven furrowed her brow for a moment before realizing why. 

Octavia still wasn’t wearing any pants from the night before and the way Raven was holding herself up with her hands planted firmly next to her head was sending her mind into dangerous territory. She definitely had imagined them in this position before, but was way too embarrassed to even think about in Raven’s presence. 

Quickly shuffling away, Raven was blushing too. “Yep. I think it’s time to get up.”  

In silence she picked up the shorts Octavia had refused the night before, and blindly threw them to her as she walked into the bathroom. Octavia frowned slightly. She hadn’t wanted to make Raven run away, but it seems to be what she’s best at. 

Sighing heavily she fell back into the bed. Shimmying into the shorts, she was about to reach for her phone when Raven walked back in. Hair finally tamed into her signature ponytail, Octavia finally noticed that she wasn’t wearing a shirt. Shooting her a small smile, Raven walked over to her dresser, while Octavia stared at her with wide eyes. She had always known Raven was hot, but it had been a while since she’d seen her in just a sports bra and sweatpants, and it was definitely a sight she had missed. 

Octavia’s staring contest with Raven’s abs was rudely interrupted, as the older girl pulled on a shirt, seemingly oblivious to any leering. “So breakfast?” 

Nodding, Octavia sprang from the bed quickly heading for the stairs. But when she made it to the bottom, she realized she had never even been in this house and had no clue where to go. Raven laughed to herself at the girl’s apparent confusion, and brushed past her as she walked into the kitchen, Octavia following quietly behind her. 

“Well look who finally woke up!” 

Raven rolled her eyes. “It’s too early to be happy Princess.” 

“Oh really?” Clarke laughed, making her way to the table where the duo had just sat down. “Not even if there’s bacon involved?” 

Nearly drooling, Raven reached out to the plate in the blonde’s hand, only to have it pulled away. “Griffin I swear to god. I can’t deal with your games right now. I’m tired.” 

Smiling innocently, Clarke put down the plate and blew a kiss. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you already drank you haterade for the day.” 

Lexa let out a small chuckle at that, but Raven was to busy adding a handful of bacon to her plate of pancakes to even think of a comeback. She hadn’t managed to fall asleep until the sun started coming up, so despite her amazing wake up call from Octavia, Raven was exhausted. Too tired to even talk. 

Raven’s lack of enthusiasm paired with the tension between Octavia and Lexa, equated to a very silent breakfast. Despite Clarke’s many attempts to strike up conversation, no one said a word. 

There was hardly any sound at all until Octavia’s phone went off. Since the phone was right next to her, Raven couldn’t help but see the messages, even though she wished she hadn’t.  

 

**Finn: It was cool seeing you at my party… we should hang out sometime**

**Lincoln: Last night was pretty fun ;) let’s do it again without any interruption this time**

**Atom: Hey :) it’s do too bad I had to leave early on friday. Do you wanna work on our project just you and me sometime?**

 

Raven frowned. She couldn’t deny that it hurt to think about Octavia with other people. And it  straight up pissed her off that Lincoln had the audacity to text her the morning after. Octavia noticed her sudden shift in mood, and Clarke felt the newfound tension as well, but neither said anything; they just sat in a very noticeable, very awkward silence.  

Eventually they finished and Clarke and Lexa took the dishes to the kitchen to clean up, leaving Octavia and Raven by themselves. They sat in silence for a moment longer, before Raven looked up from her plate. 

“Hey O can we talk?” 

“Yeah of course! What’s up?” 

Octavia followed as Raven got up from the table and walked to the living room. Sitting opposite each other on the couch, Octavia noticed that Raven looked nervous. 

Rubbing her hands up and down her thighs, Raven stared back at her cautiously. “Ummm… I just thought we should talk about last night.” 

“Oh duh!” Relaxing immensely that Raven wasn’t going to tell her she was dying or something worse, Octavia smiled. “I never got to say thank you for helping me get here safely and letting me crash in your bed.” 

“What? That’s not what- “ Raven’s entire face contorted with confusion. “Of course I’d help you! Do you… Do you remember what happened last night?” 

“Well we were at Finn’s party, having a good time. Lot’s of drinking... dancing.  _ More  _ drinking. Probably too much. I wasn’t any trouble last night was I? 

“No, no, no! You were seriously wasted but it was no trouble.” Raven assured, hoping she sounded genuine. “Nowhere near as bad Miller’s Back to School Bash from last year. Remember?” 

Octavia grinned at the memory. “Yeah that was fun. But are you sure? I was probably a mess. I know how I get.” 

Raven shook her head, looking almost disappointed. “Do you really not remember anything?” 

“Nope.” 

Raven felt her heart drop into her stomach.  _ So it had all just been a drunken ramble.  _ If she couldn’t even remember what she said, there was no way it was the truth. 

“Why?” 

Snapping out of her thought, Raven cocked her head. “Why what?”

“Why are you asking what I remembered?” Octavia asked, raising an eyebrow as if she couldn’t believe Raven didn’t get it. “I did something didn’t I. What was it?”

“Don’t worry it was nothing.” 

Octavia rolled her eyes, brushing her off. “Yeah and I  _ wasn’t  _ drunk last night. What’d I do? Was it bad? Embarrassing?”   

“None of that. Honestly it was nothing.” 

“Rae you know you suck at lying.”  Raven frowned.  _ Only when it comes to you.  _ “Just tell me.” 

_ Houston prepare for landing.  _

Taking a deep breath, Raven stared at her hands. “Are you- umm… uh, do you like- _ ”  _

“Rae just spit it out.” 

_ All clear. Landing in T-minus: _

“Are you gay?!”                    

Octavia froze. 

_ 3 _

“What?” 

_ 2 _

“Why would you think that?” 

_ 1 _

“No!” 

_ Oh there goes gravity.  _

“I’m not gay!” 

_ Crash back to reality.  _

Because it was always a crash. But somehow this one hurt more. This was more concrete, more definitive, more painful. The way she seemed almost offended at the accusation hurt more. The way she slammed the proverbial door shut hurt the most. She could have gently shut it, or left it open a crack like she did in the past. But just like that, with only three little words, she had destroyed any shred of hope. 

Now if Octavia had been paying any attention to Raven rather than having a mental break down in her own world, she would have seen the devastated look on her face. And while she started to pace around the room, muttering nonsense a pair of saddened brown eyes followed her every movement. 

All their shouting had drawn Clarke and Lexa from the kitchen, but the duo could only stand at the edge of the room watching from afar. They watched as Octavia questioned her entire life. They watched as Raven’s heart was ripped out of her body. They watched as her reason for happiness seemed to punch her in the stomach leaving her gasping for air. They watched her get up and run past them, tears brimming her sad eyes, looking positively crestfallen. And they watched as Octavia didn’t even notice her lack of presence. 

But how could she when she was too consumed with the mess that was her emotions. _How could things go from so perfect not even an hour ago, to a chaotic downward spiral? It must have been last night._ _I must have done something. Said something. Why do I always screw everything up. I ruin every good in my life. I ruined Raven. Ruined her. Why would I ruin something I love? Love? Do I-_

Now Octavia had questioned her sexuality many times before and always came to the conclusion that she liked boys. But there was something about Raven that made her question everything. Something about her that made her willing to question everything. Because she knew Raven would be there to pick up the pieces of her heart. And isn’t that what love is? But she wasn’t gay. She didn’t like girls. She didn’t even like most people. But she liked Raven. No not liked. Loved. Loved? That didn’t matter. She just knew she wanted Raven. No not wanted. Needed.

She loved her. And she wasn’t waiting to tell her anymore.  She knew that if there was one thing she couldn’t live without, it was-

“Raven?” 

Turning with a smile on her face, Octavia scanned the room. But Raven was nowhere in sight. 

Lexa however, was there, and based on the way she was glaring, she would rather if Octavia wasn’t on the same planet as them. “She left. And I think you need to leave to.” 

Octavia shook her head, too worked up to think about what an Angry Lexa could do. “I can’t! I need to talk to Raven.” 

“You’ve said enough. I doubt she even wants to see you.” 

“But I need to tell her-” 

“No.” Lexa cut her off, crossing her arms. “What you  _ need  _ to do is leave?” 

“Well can you at least tell her something for me?” With Lexa’s response being nothing but silence, Octavia swallowed. “I need you to tell her that I don’t know what I am, but I want to be with her.”

Lexa just glared at her, while Clarke seemed soften. Taking that as a good sign, she looked up hopefully. “So is that a yes? Can you tell her?” 

“I’ll consider it.” 

Octavia nodded. She knew when Lexa made up her mind, you couldn’t change it. You just had to hope she would consider what you had to say. She also knew better than to stay around when Lexa was giving a death glare, so before she could let her change her mind, Octavia was out the door. 

Lexa nearly growled as she watched her go. “I swear to god, if she hurts Raven  _ one more time.” _

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to finally write this, but here's chapter 17!  
> I kind of had a shitty past two weeks, and was just too busy, and too done with everything to write. And yeah that kind of translated into this chapter so it's not the best.   
> I didn't really plan for things to happen like this but I promise it won't change the endgame, it will just (yes I know I've been saying that for like the past 5 chapters) I feel like I've moved beyond angst and drama and into just seeing how much torture this story can put up with. Oh well. But don't worry! Octaven is still happening! I just hope you guys can still put up with a liiiiiitle more drama. 
> 
> Anyways! Thanks for reading, and all the kudos and comments. I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!


	18. Chapter 18

Octavia had never been more confused.

Usually when you confessed your love to someone they at least reacted someway. Hopefully they would run across a beach in slow motion only to fling themselves into your arms when you finally reached each other. But at the very least they should at least give a nod of acknowledgement and say they’d hope you could still be friends.

Bur Raven hadn’t done either of those things. In fact, she hadn’t even talked at Octavia all week.

Whenever Octavia tried to approach to her, Raven would conveniently have a reason to leave the room. It got to a point where Octavia didn’t even bother trying to talk to her at lunch. Sure she’d still sit with them, but she’d end up being at the end of the table as far away from Raven as possible.

The tension between them was visible but no one really tried to do anything about it. Raven and Octavia were too stubborn to do anything about it themselves. Anya and Luna didn’t really mind that they had more time with their girlfriend. And Clarke and Lexa just didn’t want to get involved.

It got to the point where they would barely even look at each other. Raven couldn’t bare to look at the only person she loved so much who would never love her back. While Octavia just knew that her heart would break again if she so much as made eye contact with the girl who rejected her and now wouldn’t even speak to her.

If only they knew…

But despite any pride or hurt feelings, it was clear they still cared about each other. And that was made even more clear when Octavia received a text late Thursday night.

**Raven: We need to talk**

Had it been any other circumstances, Octavia probably would have freaked out. If they had been dating this would have been the looming break up text. Had they been mortal enemies, this would be a clear invitation for their final battle. But since Octavia actually had no clue what they were at the moment, anything would be better than being completely ignored.

**Octavia: Yeah we really do**

**Octavia: Tomorrow?**

**Raven: Meet me after school**

**Octavia: Bleachers?**

**Raven: Bleachers**

**Octavia: See you there**

**_Read 10:37_ **

 

Octavia frowned. It’s not that she was expecting a response… It’s just that not getting one hurt a little more than it should have.

It was one thing to have your best friend not want to talk to you, but it was a whole other world when that person was Raven.

With a sigh, Octavia threw her phone to a corner of the room. She knew it was no use to sit and muddle through all the reasons why Raven hadn’t responded, but part of her really wanted to. More often than not when she thought about Raven, they were happy memories. And right about now she could use some happy memories.

But that night as she lay in bed, thinking about all the good times they had had, new sense of pain washed over her when she realized that whatever happened the next day could determine whether or not they’d get to make more memories together.

And frankly, Octavia didn’t care if they were happy or sad, as long as they were with Raven.

 

ooo

 

Raven had never been more nervous.

Sure it was her idea for them to talk, but the longer they put it off, the longer they could live in blissful ignorance and pretend that they were still friends. Because until Octavia said a very particular set of words, Raven would always have a sliver of hope. Even if the door was slammed shut and locked, a sparkle of light will always sneak through the cracks. But if she went through with this, and finally confronted Octavia, the light might just go out altogether. And Raven wasn’t ready for that. She doubted she’d ever be ready for that.

But no one is ever ready for it. That’s why it hurts so much when it finally happens.

Nonetheless, Raven had given her word, and if there was one constant in her life, it was that she always kept her promises. Especially the ones that she made to Octavia. So instead of continuing to pace up and down the hallways, hoping that Octavia would eventually get bored and leave, Raven somehow mustered up the courage to head out to the football stadium.

The walk wasn’t terribly long, but long enough to make her question her reasoning, and almost turn back.

It wasn’t until she noticed who the petite brunette was talking to that she found the motivation to pick up her pace.

At first it just looked any guy hitting on Octavia, and to be honest, Raven couldn’t blame him, but the closer she got, the more his silhouette became defined. And when she finally realized who he was, she nearly broke into a sprint.

The duo seemed largely unaffected by any other presence, until Raven came hurtling towards them.

The boy turned at the last minute, only to see a flash, before he was thrown backwards. “What the fuck?”

Completely ignoring him once he was out of her sight line, Raven immediately turned to Octavia only to be met with a look of confusion. “What are you doing?”

Trying to reign in her temper, that could flare out of control at any second, Raven gritted her teeth. “What am _I_ doing? What are _you_ doing?”

“Well I _was_ having a conversation with Lincoln.”

“I know _what_ you were doing.” Raven scoffed. “I just don’t know why you felt the urge to do it. Don’t talk to him.”

Octavia scoffed right back, crossing her arms. “Why do you care?”

“Because I care about you! Unlike Asshole McDickhead over here!”

“What are you talking about? Lincoln’s fine.”

Unaware that Raven had been the one to walk in on them the week before, Lincoln cockily stepped back to Octavia. “Yeah we’re cool. What’s got your panties in a bunch?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Octavia he’s not a good guy!”

“He’s fine. Better than some of the other jerks around here.”

Starting to realize that she never actually got the chance to explain what he did, Raven shook her head sadly. “No he’s really not. Don’t you remember any of what happened last Saturday?”

“Yeah of course. Lincoln was there for me after _you_ ditched me.”

“Oh he was there for you all right.” Raven seethed, looking between Lincoln and a very confused Octavia.  “But he didn’t have your best interest at heart. O he tried to take advantage of you.”

Octavia frowned in disbelief. “No he didn’t. What do you mean?”

Raven swallowed hard before nearly whispering, “He-he tried to rape you!” as if the word itself was unspeakable.

Now was Lincoln’s turn to speak up. “Hey hey- woah, woah, woah. I don’t know where you heard that from, but that did _not_ happen. We just danced a little.”

“Oh so what did I interrupt upstairs?”

Octavia’s brow furrowed as she turned to Lincoln. “When did we go upstairs?”

Knowing that Lincoln wasn’t going to say anything remotely near the truth, Raven answered for him. “Why do you think you ended up at my house the next morning? I had to save you from him! You were passed out on a bed by the time I walked in! And if I hadn’t he probably would have- would have-”

“Hold up!” Putting up his hands in some lame ass attempt to show his “innocence”, Lincoln backed away slightly. “That is _not_ what happened. Sure we had a little bit too much to drink, but she was totally into it. She wanted me.”

Octavia looked absolutely mortified as she stared Lincoln. Her mouth dropped open as if she was about to say something, but with so much to process nothing came out.

“You can’t want something if you’re _fucking passed out_ asshole!” Raven snarled, stepping up to Lincoln trying and succeeding to intimidate him.

But her effect only lasted for a minute before he regained dominance. “Are you trying to accuse me of something?” Taking a step forward, he made Raven stumble back with a shove. “Because if I remember correctly, I never actually _did_ anything. Because _someone_ decided to cockblock me! _”_ Punctuating his thought with another push, Lincoln glared down at the girl in front of him.

Raven was fuming now. First he had the lack of human compassion to try and take advantage of a drunk girl, and now he was blaming _her_ for it.  That just wouldn’t stand. Regaining her composure, Raven glared right back at him. “Oh you’re gonna be wishing you had something to block your cock in a minute.”

“What do you mea-”

Before he could even finish his sentence, Raven had grabbed his shoulders to pull him down, and drove her knee into his groin in one swift motion.

Letting out a surprisingly feminine shriek, Lincoln fell to the ground, clutching his crotch.

The sudden noise drew Octavia out of her memories and back to the scene in front of her, where she gaped at the sight of Lincoln curled in the fetal position on the ground and Raven standing threateningly over him.

Sensing that Octavia was staring at them, Raven turned back around. The moment she was facing her once again, Octavia fell into her arms as if it was too much to even stand anymore. Raven reacted instantly, making sure Octavia was secure in her arms before she slowly lowered them both to the ground.

For a moment they sat in silence until Lincoln managed to get up and scurry away. It took every bit of Raven’s self control to not chase him down and beat the shit out of him, but she knew Octavia needed her there.

Still silent, the younger girl just stared at the grass, watching the petals of a flower fall to the ground after having been crushed by Lincoln’s thrashing on top of them. Following her gaze, Raven realized what she was looking at and spoke up. “We need to tell someone.”

Octavia shook her head. “Tell who? Tell them what?”

“I don’t know? The police!? The school? Someone!”

“But what is there to tell? Nothing happened right? You got there before anything happened. Right?”

Raven could hear the desperateness in her voice. She could tell just how much she needed those words to be true. And the way she repeated them, not as a question, but more as an affirmation for herself, only further proved that.

“Octavia…”

“You  didn’t let anything happen. You’d never let anything happen to me.”

“O, you know I wouldn’t.” Raven assured, holding her closer, even more protectively.  “And nothing did happen, but you still need to tell someone. He can’t get away with this.”

With that, Raven tried to get up, prepared to go find someone that could help, but Octavia just gripped her arm, not letting her move.

“No. Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t... I just… He can’t....” Too worked up to just let it go, Raven tried to fight her, but eventually sat back down with a sigh. But before she let Octavia lean back into her, she picked up her phone.

“Bell? It’s Raven. Yeah. I’m with her right now. She needs you. We’re at the school, by the football field. Just hurry.”

Octavia looked up at her confused at only hearing one side of the conversation, but before she could ask anything, Raven had wrapped her arms back around her.

Whenever she was in Raven’s arms, she lost track of time, and way too soon for her liking, Raven was standing up and walking away as Bellamy rushed to her side.

Putting his hands on her shoulders he tried to gauge what was wrong, but Octavia just pushed him away to shout to the retreating Raven.

“Raven what are you doing!? You can’t tell the school!”

But when she stopped to look back, the fire in her eyes was clear. “I’m not telling the school, I’m telling someone who can actually do something. I think Lincoln’s mom would just love to know how he likes to treat women.”

And with that, she started running back to the parking lot, leaving Octavia to collapse into Bellamy.

 

OoOoOoO

 

Bellamy had been fine with the silence for the entire car ride. And he had put up with it while they sat curled up on the couch watching High School Musical. But when they were about to start their second movie, without speaking,  he had had enough.

“O come on. You can talk to me. You’re clearly upset about something, and I can’t help unless you tell me.” Still getting no response, he tried one last time. “Please O…”

Realizing that she still didn’t want to talk, Bellamy sighed and got up, grabbing the empty bowl from the coffee table as he  walked to the kitchen.

When he returned with a fresh bowl of popcorn, Octavia had shifted her position on the couch to draw her knees into the chest. Seeing that he had come back, she glanced up with a somewhat hopeful look.

“Are you ready to talk now?”

Octavia gave a small nod, but after making no move to actually speak, Bellamy tried to nudge her along.

“Okay, so why don’t you start by telling me what Raven thinks is so important to tell whoever is this Lincolnn's mom.”

Clearing her throat, Octavia averted her gaze so as to not to have to look her brother in the eye when she explained what happened. “I uh- he- Remember that party I went to last week…? Well Lincoln was there, and I had a little too much to drink, and I don’t exactly remember what happened but he-”

Bellamy had been growing more and more concerned with each word, but now he didn’t even want to hear his baby sister have to finish her sentence. “Did he hurt you!? Did he touch you!? I swear to god I’ll kill him!”

“No Bell!” Octavia quickly assured, not wanting him to get too worked up, but also not really wanting to talk about this at all.  “No, it’s not like that! He didn’t do anything! He didn’t get the chance to…”

“Oh thank god! O don’t make me worry like that!”

A small tear slipped down her face as Bellamy pulled her into a hug. “That’s the thing, it would have been a lot worse if Raven hadn’t shown up.”

Bellamy’s face contorted from confusion into a halfhearted grin.  “I knew I liked her for something.”

“Yeah… me too.”

“But wait…” Noticing the sorrow still etched on her face, Bellamy frowned. “If you’re okay, and no one hurt you, and nothing happened to you. Then what’s wrong?”

Octavia sighed. “It’s… Raven.”

“Did _she_ hurt you?”

“Come on don’t be an idiot.” Rolling her eyes, Octavia let her legs fall back to the floor. “That’s the last thing she’d do. Literally everything she does is to make sure I don’t get hurt. She’s the one person in this entire galaxy that cares about me more than you do. And if she’s right about there being more planets with life out there, then that actually means a whole lot. And she’s usually always right. About everything. Like all the time. But that’s what makes her so… Raven. It’s what makes her so amazing. She’s been through so much, but underneath it all she’s still the kindest person I’ve ever met. At least for me she is. She likes everyone to think she’s tough on the outside and she is. She can kick anybody’s ass if she wants to. And for me she has. Because that’s the kind of person she is. She protects the people that are important to her. And that’s me. I’m important to her. But she’s important to me too, and I don’t think she knows that. She’d do anything for me, but I’d do anything for her too. She’s always been there for me, and I’ve been so terrible to her in the past, and there’s so much that I want to make up to her if she’d just let me. And when I try to picture a world without her I just can’t. Because she’s been my best friend forever, and she’s made my life this amazing mess of adventure after adventure. I- I just can’t even imagine a world without her. Because she means so much to me, and I just- It’s so- I wan- she- She just means everything to me. You know.”

For a moment neither of them said a word. Octavia felt like a huge weight had just been lifted off her shoulders, but when she looked up, she was confused to see Bellamy with a knowing look on his face.

“Ohhhh I get it.”

Frowning slightly, she stared at him quizzically.  “Get what?”

“You’re in love with her.”

Octavia bit her lip. “I- I think I am. But I don’t even think I’m gay." She protested weakly, almost willing him to knock aside her weak attempt at denial. 

“Who cares?” Nearly yelling now, Bellamy jumped up from the couch pulling Octavia with him.”If that’s not love I don’t know what is. That’s the kind of love they make movies about, and if I were you I would do something about it. That’s once in a lifetime kind of love and you can’t let that get away. So what are you waiting for?

“I- I don’t know?”

“Go get your girl!”

Enthusiastically shaking her shoulders, Bellamy wore the biggest grin Octavia had ever seen, and she was sure that she was wearing one to match.

There was something about Bellamy that inspired people to follow their dreams, and right now Octavia had never been more glad to have him as a brother.

For just a little longer she reveled in the euphoric high that everyone experiences when they finally find that true love they’ve been looking for. But not wanting to ever lose the feeling, Octavia decided to finally act on it.

Pulling Bellamy in for a quick hug, she grabbed her phone, slipped on a jacket, and ran to the door, leaving her brother standing by himself in confusion.

“Um O?”

Already halfway to the door, Octavia spun around with a grin on her face. “Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

Eyes gleaming, Octavia snatched a set of keys and clutched them tightly in a fist that she pulled into her chest. “I’m going to get my girl!”

Bellamy smiled. He knew his sister better than anyone, and it was safe to say that Octavia had never been more in love.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter like 18? I meant to post this yesterday, and it was supposed to be a little different and a little bit longer, but one of my best friend's mom just died and I've spent the last two days travelling and being at her funeral. This isn't exactly how I wanted this to go, but I don't really feel like writing right now, and I don't know when I will again, so I thought I should just post now to get it out there in case i don't update for a little bit.
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy


	19. Chapter 19

 Chuckling to himself, Bellamy sat back down. He’d always had a hunch that Octavia was a little bit too close to Raven. And Raven was so helplessly, and blatantly in love with Octavia that he almost felt sorry for the poor girl. But now that it was all working out, he could tell all his embarrassing stories about them at their wedding.

But before he could start writing his toast, the door slammed back open, a hurried Octavia rushing back in.

Slightly confused, Bellamy walked over to where she was frantically searching through a drawer, “Back so soon? I mean I know you’ve got Blake genes and could get any girl you want in a second flat, but you weren’t even gone a minute, that’s gotta be a record even for me.”

Too busy to even roll her eyes, Octavia just ignored him.

“What no witty comeback? Now I know something’s wrong. What are you looking for?”

Realizing that she couldn’t find what she was needed, Octavia let out an exasperated sigh, “UGH! I’m looking for money.”

“What do you need money for?” Bellamy asked out of sheer curiosity. Octavia simply mumbled something under her breath in response as she stormed into her room, which only made him even more bewildered, “What was that?”

Not quite meeting his eye, Octavia blushed, “I uh… I wanted to get Raven something before I told her how I feel.”

“Ah. I see,” Bellamy mused, a grin growing on his face.

“What are you smiling about?’

“Oh nothing. I just didn’t know that my little baby sister was such a sweet, mushy gushy romantic.”

Octavia blushed harder, “I am not!”

“Oh really?”  Bellamy smirked, “And what kind of gift are you going to get her? Flowers?”

“No! She doesn’t deserve something as thoughtless as that. I need a gift that really means something. A gift that can say everything I feel without me having to say it. A gift that makes up for all the stuff I’ve put her through so she can finally see that I love her!”

Bellamy smiled knowingly, as Octavia realized what she had just said. While she was busy staring at the floor in shock, he pulled his wallet out of his pocket, “How much do you need?”

“What?”

“For your gift. How much money do you need for it?” He asked patiently.

Octavia thought for a moment, her brow creased, “Oh uhhh, I don’t know.”  

“Is 20 good enough?”

Shifting back and forth from foot to foot, Octavia looked guilty, “Maybe I should justtakethewholething”

Bellamy opened his mouth to respond, but Octavia had snatched his wallet right out of his hand and darted toward the door.

“Octavia!”

“Thanks! Bye!”  Octavia called over her shoulder as she reached the car, “I promise I’ll make it up to you, but I have to make this a night we’ll never forget!”

With a sigh, Bellamy shook his head as he smiled, “I’m definitely telling this story at your wedding!”  

 

ooo

 

Octavia impatiently strummed her fingers on the counter, “So do you have them?”

Not even looking up, the old cashier shrugged, “Probably. I’ll have Jerry look in the back. JERRY!”

From somewhere in the store a voice came booming, “WHAT?”

“CHECK IN THE BACK ROOM!”

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!”

With a smile the old woman turned back to Octavia. Pushing her glasses further up her nose, she looked her up and down, “So what do you need all this stuff for in the middle of the night? Apology? Proclamation of love? Just a surprise?

Octavia let out a light chuckle, “Is it bad if it’s all three?”

“Oh sweetie no! That just makes it more exciting.” She assured, reaching out to steady Octavia’s anxious hand.

“Well that’s a relief.”

“Young love is always exciting. But tell me, are you nervous?”

“Oh don’t even get me started,”  Octavia sighed, resting her elbows on the counter, and dropping her chin into the palm of her hand, “I’m terrified. I just realized that I’m in love with the person who has been my best friend for basically my whole life. And now we might be more, but I don’t want to blow it, so I thought I’d do something special.”

“I’m sure this will be very special.”

“I really hope it is.”

Giving another smile, the old woman took off her glasses, “Well it must be a nice young man you’re doing all this for.”

“Oh _she’s_ the most amazing girl in the world.”

For a moment, she looked taken aback, and Octavia was worried that she probably shouldn’t have added that detail. But as quickly as the look appeared, it was gone,  replaced by a knowing wink.

A few minutes later, a grouchy looking old man came out from behind the counter carrying a box, “You’re lucky it’s the last one we have.”

“Oh thank god!” Octavia exclaimed, genuinely relieved, “How much for all this?”

“Oh nothing dear.” The woman cooed, giving her hand another squeeze, “This one’s on the house. Young love shouldn’t cost anything.”

“But Ruth! We’re running a business,” the old man protested, looking even more annoyed.

“Oh can it Jerry! Let her be young and in love! I don’t see you doing things like this for me!” Leaving the man speechless, she turned back to Octavia, “That’s what I thought. Now here sweetie, you take this and go get your girl.”

The old man looked look positively dumbfounded, which only seemed to fuel Octavia more as picked up her box and headed for the door.

 

OoOoOoO

 

Raven sighed.

Here she was lying in bed with her great girlfriends, watching her favorite Disney movie, and feeling pleasantly full after eating nearly half a pizza. She should be in heaven, but for some reason she just wasn’t happy. Something wasn’t right.

Luna seemed to notice her inner turmoil and cuddled closer to her, wrapping her arm around her waist, but it didn’t help. Somehow it made it worse. Those weren’t the arms she wanted holding her.

The movie continued, but Raven wasn’t paying it any attention.The only thing she could even think of, was the last time she watched Aladdin. More importantly, who she had watched it with.

 

 _“Shhhhhh!_ This is the best part!”

_Raven smiled at that. ‘No the best part is hearing you sing your heart out to these cheesy songs’ she thought to herself._

_At their first sleepover when they were 6, they stayed up way past their bedtime to watch Aladdin, and it soon became a tradition to watch it  at least 4 times a year. And now ten years later, after hundreds of sleepovers, and over 50 times watching it, they still got just as excited._

_Both of them knew all the words to all the songs (they may or may not have not have done a kickass rendition of Friend Like Me at their middle school talent show) and could recite every line, so when they watched it it was never a quiet affair, but whenever it came time for A Whole New World, they had a mutual agreement._

_Octavia would sing her heart out, dancing all over the room, and Raven would chime in if Octavia ever felt like sharing the spotlight. But if she was being honest, Raven was perfectly fine with just admiring her as she did her thing._

_She had been doing a lot of that recently. She just couldn’t help it. Everything that Octavia did was just so… wonderful._

_As the music to the song started, Raven grinned ear to ear while she watched Octavia’s eyes start to glimmer in anticipation. They were always gorgeous, but when she got really truly excited about something they were the most dazzling things in the world._

_Raven expected her to just do her twirling and dancing in front of the TV, but as she began to sing, Octavia smiled down at her,_

_“I can show you the world_ _  
_ _Shining, shimmering splendid”_

_Raven melted when the younger girl still hadn’t taken her eyes off of her, and gently touched her cheek, continuing to sing,_

_“Tell me, princess, now when did_ _  
_ _You last let your heart decide!”_

_By now Octavia had pulled Raven to her feet, and was sharing her remote microphone as they spun around together, Raven gleefully doing her duty as the echo._

_“A whole new world_

_(Every turn a surprise)_

_With new horizons to pursue_

_(Every moment, red-letter)_

_I'll chase them anywhere_

_There's time to spare_

_Let me share this whole new world with you”_

_For some reason Raven was breathless, but she didn’t know if it was because she was singing, or because Octavia took her breath away. And honestly in that moment it could have been either. As Raven spun her around, her hair trailing through the air, Octavia looked stunning._

_“A whole new world_

_(A whole new world)_

_That's where we'll be_

_(That's where we'll be)_

_A thrilling chase_

_A wondrous place_

_For you and me”_

  _As they finished the last line together, they suddenly realized how close together they were standing. Breathless, they both stared at each other for a moment, neither one seeming bothered by the fact that Octavia’s arms were around Raven’s neck, while Raven’s haands rested on her hips._

_For a split second, Raven thought they might kiss. All she would have to do is lean forward a fraction of inch and their lips would be touching, but before she could, Octavia had pulled her in for a hug._

_“That’s us Raven. Just me and you against the world.”_

_Knowing the moment was gone, Raven was a little crushed that she’d missed her chance, but she knew Octavia didn’t feel the same way. Forcing a smile, she chuckled trying to lighten the mood, “Don’t you mean you and me?”_

_She could feel the girl stiffen in her arms. Worried that she was upset, Raven was greatly relieved to see that she only raised an eyebrow, “Did you really just quote the song we just sang to me?”_

_Raven smiled bashfully, hanging her head slightly. “Maybe.”_

_Letting out a boisterous laugh, Octavia brought their foreheads together so they were staring into each other’s eyes, “You’re such a nerd.”_

_“Yeah but I’m your nerd.” Raven said almost proudly._

_Octavia only laughed louder at that._

 

“Haahaahhahahahahaha!!!!”

Raven was jolted back to reality at the sound of Anya laughing next to her, but rather than join in, she frowned. That wasn’t the laugh she wanted to hear.

Letting out another sigh, Raven rolled over, moving Luna’s hand in the process. Lying on her side, she stared out window, envying the stars, as they got to shine in the sky light years away.

But her staring was soon interrupted by a faint sound of something hitting the window. Sitting up, she turned back to Luna and Anya, “Did you hear that?” But they were too preoccupied with the movie to notice or care.

“What? No.”

“Hear what?”

“I think something hit the window,” Raven said, scrutinizing the glass for a mark.

“I didn’t hear anything.”

Then it happened again, and this time Raven was sure she heard it. Slipping out of bed she started to make her way to the window, when something else hit the it. Now she was sure it was a rock, and she was sure it was on purpose.

Not quite able to see through the dark, Raven threw open the window. Sticking her head out, she looked down to see, “Octavia?”

“Raven!”  

Confused, she furrowed her eyebrows to see Octavia hold a boombox over her head, blasting some old sounding song.

“O What are you doing?”

Setting down her boombox, Octavia looked up hopefully, “I-I need to tell you something.”

For some reason, maybe it was the look in her eye, or just because she wanted it to be true, Raven knew exactly what she was going to say.

Pushing past Anya and Luna who she hadn’t even realized were standing next to her at the window, Raven ran to the stairs. Now anyone who knew Raven, knew she didn’t run unless something was incredibly important. Sharing a look, they both followed her immediately, knowing that something was about to happen. But they couldn’t quite tell if it was going to be good or bad.

Making quite a commotion, Raven nearly sprinted to the front door, but by the time she got outside, Octavia wasn’t alone. In front of her, stood Lexa with her arms crossed, looking rather intimidating, but Octavia was too determine to let it phase her. And when she saw Raven starting to approach, her entire face lit up.

“Raven I-”

But when she saw the two girls trailing after her, her heart stopped. In all the excitement and emotions she had been feeling on her part, she had completely forgot that Raven wasn’t exactly available right now.

Sensing the complete shift in her demeanor, Raven was the first to break the silence, “O? You wanted to say something?”

Octavia rubbed the back of her neck as she stared at the ground, “I um… I-”

Feeling incredibly small under all the eyes glaring at her, Octavia couldn’t find the courage or ability to string to words together. But that all went away when Raven stepped in front of her and put her hands on her shoulders.

Instantly grounded by the chocolate brown eyes, Octavia felt like nothing else mattered in the world.

“O?” Raven pressed, giving her a little shake, “Come on you know I get anxious when I’m kept waiting. You can’t just draw me to my window with pebbles and stand outside with a  boombox like in a rom com, and then not talk to me. What were you gonna say?”

Still worried about the presence of the four girls right behind Raven, Octavia took a deep breath, “This is probably just going to be a really long rant rather than some romantic speech, so I just need you to listen to it, before you say anything okay?”

Unsure if she was actually allowed to respond, Raven just gave a reassuring nod. Which seemed to do the trick as Octavia relaxed a little more.

“Raven, I know we’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember, and if there’s one thing in the world I don’t want, it’s to lose you. Last year when I had to leave was the worst time of my life. It sucked. I was miserable without you, and I didn’t realize how much I actually loved you until you weren’t there anymore. And I know you said you didn’t want me to apologize, but I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for being a terrible friend, I’m sorry for leaving, but most of all I’m sorry for making you feel like I hated you. Because I didn’t. I don’t, and I never could. You mean so much to me, and I don’t know how I would survive without you. You’re my everything. And this speech has probably been a long time coming, much longer than I’d want to admit. Because if I’m being completely honest I don’t know what I am. I never really thought I was gay, but with you I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to be labelled. I don’t want to- No! I do know what I want! I don’t want to lose you!  I want to be with you! I want to be yours! I want you! I want to laugh with you! Hell I’ll even cry and be happy about it as long as I’m with you Raven. I want to go on dates. I want to go on adventures. I just want to live my life with you by my side.” Pulling two tickets out of her back pocket, Octavia pushed them into Raven's hands, “I want to go watch Halley’s Comet with you at the planetarium and listen to you talk about all your weird nerd facts about space. Because I love the way you get so excited when you talk about your passions. I love the way your forehead creases when you’re doing some really complicated math thing. I love the way you sing your heart out when we watch Disney. I-  I love the way you… are. Because Raven, I love you. And I understand if you don’t feel the same way, I just can’t keep it in anymore. I can’t be your friend and see you every day without knowing you know how much I love you. Because I do love you. I’m in love you Raven Marie Reyes.”

A beat passed.

And then another.

And just when Octavia was going to give in and go home, Raven spoke up, “Octavia I- I Where is this coming from? Where was this last week when I thought you hated the idea of even being gay?”

Octavia felt crushed at the look of hurt on Raven’s face, but her sympathy was soon replaced by anger, “What do you mean where was this? Raven, it just took me a minute to process, I wanted to tell you last week but you had gone upstairs or something. So I told… Lexa… but then you wouldn’t talk to me all week”

Both girls turned to look at Lexa. Raven with a confused expression, and Octavia  with one of rage mixed with disbelief.

But Raven’s confusion soon morphed into anger as well, “S-she told you she loved me and you didn’t say anything?”

Looking guilty, Lexa reached over to turn off the boombox, leaving them in an awkward silence, “Rae I just wante-”

“Wait you never told her?” For the past week Octavia had really believed that Raven rejected her because she didn’t like her, but knowing that she just never knew about it, hit  her with an overwhelming rush of feelings, but for right now anger was winning. “How could you do that? I trusted you!”

“I was just looking out for Raven!”

“How is that looking out for me?”  Raven demanded, “How is letting me think the person I love hates me, looking out for me?”

Octavia froze, “Y-you love me too?”

But Raven was too busy yelling at Lexa to hear her, “I can’t believe you’d do that to me!? You knew I liked her!”

“That’s why I did it Raven!” Lexa protested, voice rising as she turned to Octavia, “She was horrible to you! I was there when she left you in tears! I was there when she made you feel like shit about yourself, and I wasn’t about to let her do it again!”

“I don’t like your tone,” Octavia snarled, “I will never forgive myself for what I made her go through, but she’s forgiven me, and you have no right to tell her what to feel.”

With that, Octavia and Lexa were standing face to face, both seething. The murderous looks in their eyes didn’t bode well for anyone, and even Anya was starting to get nervous.

Trying to step between them, she slowly pushed them apart. “Hey, hey, hey. Why don’t we break it up and go cool down for a moment. Come on.”

Reluctantly they pulled apart still glaring daggers at each other. And after a minute of very tense silence, it was clear that neither of them were going to calm down anytime soon. So after a nudge from Clarke, Anya spoke up again, “I think it would probably  be best if you two were not near each other right now. So Octavia, since Lexa lives here, would you mind…”

Scoffing, Octavia turned without a second glance, “Fine. I can tell when I’m not wanted.”

“Octavia wait!”

Raven started to follow the fuming girl, who was nearly running away, but Octavia was too preoccupied with her thoughts to even hear her shouting.

“OCTAVIA! STOP!”

It was only when she heard the desperateness in Raven’s voice that she finally turned around. And when she finally turned around it was just in time to see the bright lights coming right at her.

Standing frozen, Octavia had completely embraced the fact that she was going to get hit by a car when she felt herself being pushed out of the way.

As she hit the ground, feeling the concrete bite into her skin, Octavia heard the screech of tires followed by a sickening thud. Taking a moment to steady her vision from when she hit her head, she suddenly realized what happened. Partially because the wind was knocked out of her, and partially because she was in shock at the scene before her, Octavia struggled to breathe,   
  
“RAVEN!”

 

They say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes. But as Raven slowly slipped into unconsciousness her entire world flashed before her eyes. And all she saw was Octavia.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Cliff Hangers!!!!! (sorry not sorry)  
> But I am sorry that this took so long to write, I've had a long week and lot's of writers block, so it took a little time get this going. But isn't there a saying about being at your most creative at 3am? because that's what happened here. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy (and don't hate me for the cliffhanger) Thanks for all the kudos and comments! Let me know what you think! I really love hearing from you guys!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¡WARNING!   
> So yes since Raven just got in a car accident this kind of a graphic chapter. Not super gory, but there is lots of medical description, and a character does CPR. 
> 
> (Disclaimer)  
> While I have seen all of Grey's Anatomy like twice completely, and I'm practically a paramedic, I am not actually a medical professional. So some of what happens might not be 100% accurate. 
> 
> Enjoy anyway!

 

“RAVEN!”

Pushing herself up, Octavia winced as she felt a sharp pain in her wrist.

“RAVEN!”

Breathing shakily, she brought a hand up to steady her head, allowing her vision to refocus.

But she really didn’t like what she saw.

As if the world had stopped turning, all Octavia could make out was a lifeless Raven sprawled out in the middle of the road, her leg bent at an impossible angle.  Her eyes were closed, almost like she was peacefully sleeping, but she looked anything but peaceful. From what she could see, her face was pretty badly cut and blood was pooling beneath her head.

Growing increasingly worried as the bloodied brunette continued to lie unmoving, Octavia forced herself to stand, ignoring her dizziness and stumbled towards Raven. By then, the other four had reached her side and were frantically trying to make sure she was okay.

“Raven!? Come on Raven, wake up!”

Lexa was a sobbing mess.

When Octavia finally made her way to the middle of the road she fell to her knees next to Clarke. “Is she okay?”

Clarke didn’t look up. Taking that as a bad sign, Octavia felt tears start to form in her eyes. Sitting back on her heels she buried her face in her hands, ready to accept the worst possible scenario. Until Clarke breathed a sigh of relief.

“She has a pulse! It’s weak, but it’s there.”

Lexa let out a grateful cry as Luna and Anya clung to each other, but Octavia wasn’t convinced. Clarke still looked worried.

While the other three were distracted, she turned to the concerned blonde. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“No, yeah! That’s good. It’s just…”

“Just what?” Octavia croaked, trying to remain as calm as possible.

“I can’t tell if she’s breathing or not.”

Octavia froze. “But if she’s not breathing…”

Clarke shot her a look before lowering her head to Raven’s chest, listening for any signs of life. Her brow furrowed in concentration, but that same look of terror remained.

For the first time since she knelt down, Octavia realized that Clarke’s hands were shaking. Everyone knew her as the mom friend of the group who was always level headed in an emergency. And with her mom being a doctor she had more than the average person’s first aid knowledge, but here in the moment she was just as scared as the rest of them.

After a few seconds of not hearing anything, Lexa started crying again, which only stressed Clarke out more. “Shut up! I can’t hear anything if you’re crying!”

Tears were falling down Clarke’s face as well, and when Octavia saw how her whole body was trembling, she stepped in. Not even trying to stop her voice from shaking, Octavia put a hand on her shoulder. “Clarke I need you to call 911 and get an ambulance down here. And then call your mom, she’ll know what to do. Okay? We can do this.”

Clarke nodded frantically, scrambling up to get her phone as Octavia took her place.

Looking down once more at the body beneath her, Octavia choked back a sob knowing she had to be brave. She had to be brave for Raven. Taking a deep breath she lowered herself down just centimeters away from Raven’s mouth, begging, willing, _praying_ for her to breathe. But after ten seconds of nothing she knew there wasn’t anything there.

Straightening herself up, Octavia looked up at the worried eyes staring back at her. Not able to stand the desperate sadness in their gazes she focused her attention back on Raven as she tried to roll her onto her back. “She’s not breathing, I need to start CPR.”

Trying to be gentle, she carefully began to move Raven when Anya spoke up. “Wait! Aren’t you not supposed to move people after car accidents in case they hurt their spine and you hurt them more?”

Octavia ignored her, continuing to flip her over, when Lexa finally spoke up. “SHE”S NOT FUCKING BREATHING AHN! JUST LET HER HELP!”

Startled, Octavia looked up gratefully to see that Clarke was on the phone with 911. But as much as she just wanted the professionals to come and make everything okay, she knew that Raven needed her now. _Now._

Hit by a wave of motivation, she managed to get Raven flat on her back and position herself over her. Arms straight, she laced her hands together over her chest, and after a wavering breath she pushed down.

With every compression her wrist screamed at her to stop, but Octavia didn’t care. She didn’t care if she was hurt. She wouldn’t have cared if it had been her to be hit that by that car. All that she cared about was the fact that Raven wasn’t okay, and that she had to do something about it. 

Trying to remember her lifeguard training from years ago, she hoped that thirty compressions was enough. It sounded familiar. Either way it would have to work. But then came the hard part. At any other moment in time, Octavia would faint at the idea of being so close to Raven’s lips, but this was life or death. Almost mechanically she pinched Raven’s nose shut and tilted her head back, crashing their mouths together to blow air into her lungs.

But as much as she wished that she could give Raven all the air in her lungs, it wasn’t enough.

Immediately going back to compressions, Octavia was relieved to find Clarke sitting next to her, phone pressed to her ear.

Meeting Octavia’s gaze she gave a halfhearted smile. “An ambulance is on its way, and my mom is on the phone right now. She said you were right to start CPR. Yeah she seems to know what she’s doing mom… Okay I’ll tell her.” Pulling away from her phone for a moment she watched Octavia as she gave another two breaths. “She says to regularly check to see if her breathing has changed.”

Octavia just nodded, moving her ear down to her mouth. “Still nothing.”

Fighting back tears she started the compressions again, pushing down harder and harder trying to force the life back into Raven.

And then they heard a crack.

Lexa screamed, and Octavia immediately stopped her hands. Mortified, she started breathing erratically worried that she had only made it worse. Even Clarke was scared. “I- I don’t- I don’t know it was just a crack! … It is? Are you sure?....” Wiping away her tears Clarke looked immensely relieved. “No no guys it’s okay, sometimes the ribs crack it’s okay. Just keep going O, the ambulance is going to be here soon.”

Biting her lip to stop herself from crying, Octavia turned back to Raven’s lifeless body. Each time she looked at her, she lost more and more hope, but she wasn’t giving up yet.

As she started up again, Clarke held the phone up to her ear. “Hi, Octavia? It’s Doctor Griffin.” When Octavia just sniffled in in reply, like Abby had expected, she continued talking not waiting for anymore responses. “I know you’re probably scared, but you’re doing amazing sweetie. I promise you didn’t hurt her. You’re keeping her alive right now.”

Octavia whimpered at that. “But she’s not- she’s not breathing!”

“I know sweetie, but you’re doing everything you can right now. The ambulance is going to be there any second and they’ll take it from there, but what you’re doing is really important. It could end up saving Raven’s life.” Even though she couldn’t see her through the phone, Octavia nodded in response. “Now you just keep doing what you’re doing, and I’m gonna stay right here on the phone with you, okay?”

“Okay.”

Given new hope, Octavia continued with vigor. She was getting tired, and her wrist was throbbing by now, but not even a single part of her was considering stopping.

The other four, well five including Abby, stayed with her, voicing their encouragements until the familiar sound of sirens could be heard coming their way.

Octavia sighed in relief as the sound came closer and closer, but she still didn’t stop.

She didn’t stop when the ambulance pulled over to park. She didn’t stop when the paramedics came running out. She didn’t stop when a gurney was wheeled up next to them. She didn’t even stop when the paramedic kneeled next to her and offered to take over.

Tears were pouring down her face by now, and it was clear she was exhausted, but she didn’t want to let Raven out of her sight. It wasn’t until Abby’s soothing voice, combined with Lexa nearly pulling her off that she finally relented and let the paramedic take over.

They transferred Raven to the gurney with a practiced ease and took off for the ambulance, all five girls trailing after them.

While one of them continued administering CPR, the other got ready to shut the ambulance door while trying to keep Octavia from getting in. “Are any of you family?”

Lexa jumped into the ambulance without waiting to be told no. “I am!”

“Okay well then you can ride with us to the hospital, the rest of you will have to meet us there.”

Nodding resignedly, Anya and Luna turned to leave, but Octavia didn’t move. The paramedic didn’t seem to notice, since he was too busy grilling Lexa. “What’s her blood type?”

“I uhhh.” Lexa frowned. “I don’t know.”

Gripping her injured wrist, Octavia stepped into the ambulance as well. “She’s O negative… Just like me…” Adding the second part low enough that only she could hear it, Octavia couldn’t take her eyes off of Raven.

The paramedic still hadn’t noticed that the person who just answered him wasn’t Lexa.  “Alright that’s good. Any family medical history issues?”

Not even hesitating, Octavia immediately answered for Lexa. “Her grandpa had a heart attack two years ago.”

Lexa stared at her questioningly. How could she not have known about that?

Sensing her confusion she quickly added, “It was on her dad’s side.”  

 “Allergies?”

Thinking for a minute, Octavia was a little surprised she remembered this at all.  “Penicillin. And she um had a bad reaction to anesthesia once. Ketamine I think?”

The paramedic working on Raven just nodded, but the other that came to shut the doors looked skeptically at Octavia. “What are you still doing in there?”

Realizing that she would probably have to leave know, Octavia earnestly turned to the other paramedic. “I don’t know if this is important, but she used to take Celexa. I- She might not be taking it anymore but I thought you should know.”

At that, the doors slammed shut and the other paramedic ran up to the driver’s seat. Looking back at Octavia through the rear view mirror, he sighed. “Just sit down and don’t break anything. We can have someone look at that wrist when we get to the hospital.

Not needing to be told twice, Octavia sat down right next to Raven, and reached out to hold her hand.

 

OoOoOoO

 

When Octavia and Lexa were finally ushered into the waiting room, Clarke, Anya, and Luna jumped from their seats, nearly sprinting over to the duo.

“What happened?”

“Is she okay?”

“Is she gonna make it?”

That last question made them all wince, but it was the only thing on their minds. It was all that mattered.

Lexa wiped away her tears, but Octavia looked positively subdued. “They revived her.” The other three looked greatly relieved but knew that wasn’t the end of the story. “They shocked her and managed to get a heartbeat, but then she went straight to surgery, so we won’t know how she is until they’re done.”

Clarke pulled her into a reassuring hug while Octavia stood awkwardly next to the two couples. On the inside she was a crying mess, but she didn’t want to cry right now. She didn’t think she deserved to. It was her fault that Raven got hurt. If she hadn’t tried to talk to Raven or gotten in a fight with Lexa, Raven would just be spending a normal night at home. And Octavia had ruined that.

She always ruined everything.

The group continued to wait, Luna and Lexa standing as Clarke held her hand, Anya paced anxiously, and Octavia just sat quietly. No one spoke until a nurse started heading their way, making them all jump to their feet.

“Is there any news?”

The nurse just shook her head, showing no emotion. “No I’m sorry nothing yet. She’s still in surgery. But the police wanted to come talk to you and take a statement. You were all witnesses, correct?”

“Yeah we saw it.”

Octavia instinctively cradled her wrist, remembering exactly what happened with the car, and Raven pushing her out of the way. None of the others noticed, but the nurse gave her a concerned glance. “Do you want us to take a look at that wrist?”

“Huh?” Snapping too, Octavia didn’t like all the eyes on her. She really didn’t want to be away in case any news about Raven came, but she could tell that she wasn’t exactly welcome company. “Um yes please.”

Giving a comforting smile the nurse quickly ushered her over to a bed and went to find a doctor. Octavia sat down with a sigh, kicking her feet as she waited impatiently. She was too far away from the waiting room to see or hear anything that was happening, but she did see a policeman make his way through the doors, probably towards the girls.

Eventually a doctor came over poking and prodding her wrist, overall making it hurt a lot worse until he started to put it in a splint declaring it was just a sprain.

Meanwhile Lexa had been giving a detailed account of what happened to the very helpful policeman.

“Alright so Ms. Reyes pushed Ms. Blake out of the way of the car, subsequently getting hit, before they drove off. Did you happen to see a make or model of the car? What color it was? A license plate?”

“It was ummm- I want to say a pickup truck.” Lexa rubbed her temples growing slightly overwhelmed at all the questions. “It was blue? Maybe black? I don’t really remember it was all happening so fast.”

Clarke gave her hand a squeeze, before confirming. “It was definitely a pickup truck. It wasn’t going super fast but I didn’t see any plates. We were all a little more concerned with helping Raven.”

“Of course.”  The policeman nodded, writing something down on his pad. “Now this might be a long shot, but did anyone see the driver? Or see enough to give a description.”

It was quiet as they thought for a minute, until Luna perked up. “Yeah I kind of caught a glimpse of him. He was white, I think our age. Brownish hair.”

“Okay that’s helpful. Anything else?”

“Wait!”  Anya looked as if a lightbulb had just gone off in her head. “I knew I recognized that car! It’s Murphy’s! Remember? We saw him getting out of it at Roan’s party when we left earlier tonight. He was probably drunk!”

Explaining more to Clarke, Lexa, and Luna, the policeman cut her off. “Excuse me, who is this Murphy?”

“John Murphy.” Clarke quickly responded. “He’s a senior.”

“Well that is very helpful.” The policeman mused. “If there’s nothing else, I think we’re good here.”

Lexa shook her head. “I- I think that’s everything.”

Tipping his hat slightly, he put his notepad away. “Alrighty then. Thank you girls. You’ve been very brave. I hope your friends make it out okay.”

Offering a halfhearted smile, Lexa shook his outstretched hand. “Thank you.”

As he turned to go, he nearly bumped into the freshly splinted Octavia, drawing the girls’ attention back to her. She just looked stunned. “M-Murphy did this?”

“No.” Lexa growled, pulling away from Clarke to stalk over to the brunette. “ _You_ did this. If you had just left Raven alone like I said, none of this would have happened!”

Octavia’s heart dropped. She wasn’t wrong. Not even trying to defend herself, she just hung her head in defeat. She wouldn’t even care if Lexa hit her. She deserved it.

But no punch came.

Octavia looked up expecting to see a fuming Lexa ready to fight, but instead she was met with another heart breaking sight. The usually so tough and threatening Lexa had melted into Clarke’s arms as she cried.

“What if she doesn’t make it!? It’s all my fault!”

“Hey it’s nobody’s fault.”  Clarke soothed. “If it _was_ anybody’s fault it would be Murphy’s. Not yours. Not mine. Not Octavia’s. Not Anya’s.” If she was being honest, Clarke kind of thought if anyone was to blame it was Anya. Sure Lexa was the one who riled her up, but Anya was the one to make her leave, and run into the street. But even then she didn’t really think anyone was to blame, it was just an accident. “And don’t you worry. My mom is one of her surgeons and you know she’s one of the best. She won’t let anything bad happen to her.”

As if on cue, Doctor Griffin suddenly opened the doors and started walking over to the girls as she pulled off her surgical mask.

All of them looked up hopefully at her, desperately needing some good news, but Abby kept her face steady, not giving anything away.

“Raven made it.”

Those three words sounded like a miracle. Octavia let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding in. It felt like an immense pressure had been lifted off her chest, but she still wasn’t convinced. Dr. Griffin wasn’t smiling. And neither was Clarke.

“So she’s going to be okay?” Lexa asked, looking relieved but still unsure.

“She’s stable for now, but she hasn’t woken up yet. Have you notified her parents?”

“Well I called her mom but she’s out of the state right now, and Raven’s living with us.” Lexa explained, growing worried that she hadn’t gotten a straight answer. “And my mom is at work and hasn’t picked up yet. Why is something wrong?”

“No nothing like that.” Abby assured, squeezing Lexa’s shoulder. “It’s just customary to inform the parent or legal guardian of her condition. But right now you _are_ next of kin. Do you want me to explain now or would you rather wait for your mom.”

“Now! Please now.”

“Alright.” Abby nodded, having expected that answer. “So the surgery went well, no complications. We fixed all the damage we could find, and hopefully she will make a full recovery. She broke some ribs from the impact, and her left fibula was broken as well, but luckily it wasn’t too bad of a break. She most likely has a concussion but we won’t know until she wakes up.”

“Okay.” Lexa gulped. “None of that sounds too bad, is that all?”

“I’m afraid not.” Giving them all a moment to brace themselves, Abby paused before continuing. “Our biggest concern right now is with her spine. It took the brunt of the force from the collision, particularly in the lower thoracic and lumbar spine, but we were able to fix that damage. We decompressed the nerves and reduced the pressure, but the damage in L2-4 was a little more severe and we won’t know if there is permanent damage until she wakes up. None of this is life threatening but she is in for a long and painful recovery.”

They all looked shocked. “W-will she walk again?”

Trying to hide her concern, Abby looked at her watch. “Like I said, we won’t know the full extent of her injuries until she wakes up. The lumbar spine is responsible for most of the lower leg movements so that is a possibility. But her surgery went well and we were able to fix it pretty quickly, so she stands a good chance at recovering most if not all of her mobility. Physical Therapy will definitely be needed, but Raven is a fighter. It might be a little difficult since she has to wait for her leg to heal before we can see if she can walk, but it’s not something you need to worry about right now.”

Now more informed, Lexa had calmed down a little, but she still wouldn’t be completely assured until she saw Raven with her own eyes. “Can we see her?”

“She hasn’t woken up yet, and even when she does she will need lots of rest, so not right this minute.” Abby felt bad not letting the girls in right away, but she knew that seeing her awake would be much easier than having to see her looking so beat up on the hospital bed. “I’ll have a nurse let you know when she wakes up.”

“Thank you so much!”

Lexa wiped away the millionth tear of the night before throwing herself into Abby’s arms. Being the mother she was, she couldn’t help but hold her close, knowing everything she’d been through that night.

But when Lexa eventually pulled away and went to go sit down with the rest of the girls in the waiting room, Abby noticed that Octavia still hadn’t moved. She was craning her neck trying to see into rooms, looking for Raven. Kicking herself for not realizing how much more Octavia had gone through she immediately pulled her into a hug as well.

Octavia stiffened at first before completely melting into the embrace. She had had a long night. Abby had been a doctor for over 30 years and she couldn’t imagine having to administer CPR to her best friend’s lifeless body, and Octavia was just a kid. She didn’t deserve this. She must have been so scared.

Finally letting her emotions catch up with her for the first time that night, the adrenaline wearing off, she started to cry. Abby felt the wetness on her shoulder, and only held her tighter, rubbing up and down her back in an effort to soothe her.

Eventually her tears stopped, but Abby didn’t let go, knowing she needed to be comforted. They stood like that for what seemed like an hour, until a nurse hesitantly walked up behind Octavia to talk to Abby.

“Dr. Griffin? She’s awake.”

 

OoOoOoO

 

Within 30 seconds all five girls were right on Abby’s heels as she led them to Raven’s room. Lexa was the first one by her side, holding her hand as Raven blearily came to.

“Rae!? Oh my god Raven! Are you okay?”

Taking a moment to adjust to the harsh hospital lighting, Raven blinked slowly before looking up questioningly at Lexa.

“Wh-who are you?”

Lexa froze. Staring disbelievingly at her cousin. “Raven it’s me, Lexa!” Abby frowned, amnesia usually meant significant brain trauma. “I’m your cousin, do you really not remember me?”

Seeing tears start to form in Lexa’s eyes, Raven started coughing. But after a minute it sounded a little more like laughter. Everyone in the room looked utterly dumbfounded until her chuckling made her groan in pain. “Fuck! I was kidding, Lex I remember you.”

Too relieved to be mad, Lexa wiped her eyes again. “Well I guess not even surgery can make you less annoying.”

Raven gave her a pained smile before wincing as she moved once more. Abby stepped in at that.

“Raven, it’s good to see you again. How are you feeling?”

“Pretty terrible.” She groaned, shutting her eyes as she dropped her head back onto the pillow.

“Well that’s to be expected.” Abby explained, taking out her pen light to shine in her eyes. “Hmm.”

“What?” Raven asked slightly worried.

“Your pupils are reactive but slightly larger than normal, you definitely have a slight concussion. But nothing too bad. Are you dizzy at all?”

“Yeah a little.”

“Again, normal. I just need to do a little examination and then we can get you some more morphine to help with the pain.”

Raven sighed, letting out a long wavering breath. “Okay.”

As Abby started to examine her leg, Raven looked down at her cast. “So umm what exactly happened to me?”

Anya frowned. “Do you not remember?”

“No?”

Continuing to examine Raven’s leg, Abby was relieved to see that she was responsive. Ignoring her questioning frown, Abby asked her own question. “Sweetie can you feel that?” Octavia nodded as she felt a tool scrape up her foot. “Great now can you wiggle your toes for me?”

With great concentration Raven managed to wiggle the toes on her right leg before lying back quite satisfied with herself until Abby moved to the other foot. With most of the leg covered in a cast, Abby settled with just prodding the toes. “Do you feel _that_?”

Raven frowned. “No. What’s going on?”

“Can you wiggle your toes?”

Abby had lifted the blanket slightly so that Raven wouldn’t be able to see her foot as she tried to move them. After a minute of struggle and no movement, Abby smiled, and patted her thigh. “Alright all set.”

Still frowning, Raven was only more confused. “Can someone please tell me what happened?”

The four girls standing around the bed shared a look before turning to Dr. Griffin who nodded understandingly. “Alright Raven what was the last thing you remember?”

“Ummm we were watching a movie in my room?”

Octavia winced from the doorway. She hadn’t wanted to intrude and be in the room if Raven didn’t want her there. But apparently Raven didn’t remember anything that happened. Not the confessio of love. Not the argument. Not the accident. But she wasn’t sure if it was a fresh start, or a missed opportunity.

“Okay.” Abby said calmly. “But nothing after that?”

“No.”

“Alright that’s okay. After traumatic experiences sometimes your brain tries to block out what happened, so it’s not unusual to forget any events leading up to it.”

“B-but what was the traumatic experience?”

Abby turned to Lexa since she wasn’t actually there herself. “You got hit by a car Rae.”

“What?”

“Octavia was leaving our house and ran into the street, but a car was coming, so you ran out to push Octavia out of the way and got hit yourself.”

Raven blinked, absorbing all the information. “Is Octavia okay?”

Octavia froze. Had she really just asked that? Did she really care?

“She’s fine.”  Abby reassured.

Nodding slowly, making sure she understood everything, Raven turned back to Abby. “Am _I_ okay?”

“You had to have surgery, but that went well. You broke some ribs and your leg. And you also had some spinal damage that most likely weakened your legs, and may cause some pain. But you should be okay.”

“O-o-okay.”

Abby could tell that she was overwhelmed, and probably exhausted, so she moved over to her IV. “Are you in a lot of pain right now?”

Raven just nodded her head, letting out a small whimper at the movement.

Upping the dosage of the morphine drip, Abby was relieved when Raven looked much more at peace. “That should help for a while. You need to get some rest, but the girls can stay here if you’d like.”

Raven nodded again and nestled back into her pillow as Abby turned to Lexa. “These are some pretty heavy painkillers and from the anesthesia she was on during surgery she might be a little out of it, but she should be fine.”

“Thank you Mrs. Griffin.” Lexa sighed, not taking her eyes off of her cousin. “Thank you so much.”

Not saying anything else, Abby just gave her a final hug before leaving. As she walked past Octavia she gave her a small smile, but the brunette was too busy staring at Raven to notice. They all were.

Raven was indeed out of it, but she seemed content to snuggle into her pillow, and since she wasn’t in pain, none of them cared. But after her third yawn, Luna turned off the lights and went to hold Raven’s hand.

“Babe why don’t you try to go to sleep?” But Raven shook her head. “No? Why not?”

Looking up at her with wide eyes, Raven yawned once more. “Need cuddles.”

Not one to deny her girlfriend affection, especially when it came in the form of such cute demands, Luna carefully climbed in from the other side of the bed, slipping an arm under Raven and letting her cuddle into her shoulder.

Letting out a sigh, Raven looked perfectly content. Smiling she rubbed her forehead on Luna’s cheek, humming happily. “Mmmmm Octavia.”

                                                                                                                   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally up!   
> I know this took foreeeevvveeeeer. But I had a lot going on, and then when I did have time to write I kind of had writer block. But I finally forced myself to sit down and write this, so that I can keep the story going. 
> 
> I just got back from doing a bunch of college tours this weekend, but for the rest of the week I’m on spring break!!! (yay!) So hopefully (no promises) I will have extra time to work on writing and planning the rest of this story!
> 
> I tried to make this chapter as accurate as possible, but like I said I’m not a doctor, so ignore any inaccuracies. I was going to end it on “she’s awake” and post this last night but I feel like I’ve been cruel enough with the cliffhangers… even though this has one too. Oh well. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Thanks for any comments and kudos! 
> 
> And if anyone actually cares I managed to get an A- on my mid semester exam in math.   
> Life is good!


	21. Chapter 21

“Did she just-?”

All eyes turned to Octavia as her own widened comically. 

Clarke and Lexa were genuinely confused, the betrayal in Luna’s eyes was evident, but Anya’s anger was palpable across the room. 

Sensing that things could turn ugly real fast, Octavia tried to retreat farther out of the room, holding up her hands as if trying to prove her innocence. “I’m sure she didn’t mean anything. She’s completely out of it, those are some pretty strong pain meds.” 

Of course there was nothing she wanted more than to push Luna off the bed and hold Raven in her arms until all of her pain went away, but with Anya still glaring at her like that, it clearly wasn’t an option. Part of her was overjoyed that Raven thought she was Luna and found comfort in her, but she knew that those feelings were just from back when they were friends. Raven didn’t remember anything she said. 

But Anya sure did. 

“Don’t act like you’re not thrilled.” She snarled, getting up from her seat and stalking towards Octavia. 

“She doesn’t even know what she’s saying.” 

“Yes she does!” 

At Anya’s outburst, Lexa jumped to her feet, trying to stop something before it even started. “Anya calm down, don’t wake up Raven.” 

“How can I calm down when my girlfriend, would rather be with- with her!” 

Octavia couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. She wasn’t that bad. Was she? She knew she had caused Raven a lot of pain in the past, but they were starting to move forward now. They were friends. And as much as it killed her to be “just friends” with someone she loved so much, Octavia would do it if that’s what Raven wanted. 

“Anya, I’m sorry for what I said back at the house.” Octavia started. “I meant every word, but she doesn’t even remember any of it. Okay? She probably only said my name because the last time she was in a hospital I was there for her. That’s it, I swear!” 

Anya turned back to look at Raven who was completely passed out on the bed, head right over Luna’s heart as its steady beating kept her asleep. It was a sweet sight, but when Anya pictured Octavia having been in Luna’s position in the past, her expression soured once again. 

“What you really think she doesn’t have feelings for you?” 

“Ahn don’t.” Luna cut in, moving one hand to cover Raven’s ears in case Anya actually exploded. 

“Why not?” Anya chuckled dryly, no humor in her tone. “I think she deserves to know.” 

“Don’t cause any more trouble.” 

“Oh there’s plenty more where that came from.” Anya sneered, getting more and more worked up. “Trouble just follows you around, doesn’t it Octavia?” 

Concerned, but even more confused, Octavia frowned. “What are you talking about? Raven forgave me for all that!” 

“Please.” Anya scoffed. “She never held anything against you. She never could.” 

Octavia was starting to get defensive. After all the shit that she had put Raven through, and then went through herself, she wouldn’t stand for Anya not realizing her struggles. “Yes she could! And she did!” 

“NO SHE DIDN’T!” 

Whining at the loud noise, Raven stirred slightly, burying her face into Luna’s hair, as the older girl glared at her enraged girlfriend. 

“Ahn, you need to stop talking. 

Ignoring the warning, Anya’s voice only got louder. “She never hated you! She’s been in love with you for years!” 

“What are you talking about?” 

With a sad smile, Luna spoke up not wanting Anya to continue yelling. “After the first time we told Raven we loved her, she told us that she loved us back, but that she wasn’t sure if she could, since she still loved you. She said she wasn’t sure if she’d ever stop loving you.” 

Octavia stood frozen. Her brain not even capable of processing what was happening. 

“She fucking loves you, and since you finally realized the same, I hope you two will be very happy together. Because I am DONE!” Anya growled. Yes growled. Octavia was sure that if they weren’t in a hospital, Anya would have ripped her apart and sent her to one. But even that thought couldn’t snap her out of the daze she fell into. 

Anya was fuming, when Octavia finally found her voice again. “You can’t just dump Raven like that!” 

“The hell I can’t! I can tell when I’m not wanted. Now I won’t be anyone’s second choice.” With a final glare, Anya pushed Octavia to the side as she marched to the door. Luna called out to her, which finally made her turn, but she still wasn’t done. “Luna tell her I’m sorry, but it’s for the best. And if you have any self respect, you’ll leave too, she’s never going to love you the same way she loves her.” 

With that, she stormed off down the hallway, leaving four very shocked girls completely speechless. 

The silence remained for another minute, the only sound being Raven’s heavy, almost painful sounding breaths, and the mechanical hum of the various machines in the room. 

Luna was the first to speak. 

“I um… I better go calm her down before she gets on the road.” As quietly as possible, so as not to disturb Raven, Luna slipped out of the bed, wincing as the brunette grimaced at the movement. 

“I’m also gonna go home and get some sleep, it’s late. But I’ll be back in the morning. You guys should get some rest too.” 

Clarke was the only one to acknowledge her as she left, since Octavia and Lexa were too busy watching Raven. With a sigh, the blonde ran her hand up and down her girlfriend’s back in a soothing motion before moving to stand. 

“I’ll go see if my mom will get someone to set up some cots for us or something.” 

“Thanks babe, that’d be great.” 

Octavia watched wistfully as Clarke and Lexa shared a quick kiss. She wished she could do that to Raven. She wished they could just move past all the shitty parts and just be happy together. Happy about the little mundane things. Start a life together. 

“She’s right you know.” 

Lexa’s voice was quiet, but Octavia could still hear it from across the room. 

“Who?” 

“Anya.” 

“About what?” 

“About Raven.” Finally looking up, Lexa met Octavia’s eyes for a moment, to make sure her next words were really heard. “She loves you.” 

Not able to hide her surprise, Octavia’s voice wavered. “What makes you say that?” 

“Because she’s loved you for a while now. You should see the way she looks at you.” 

Octavia was glad that Lexa was no longer staring at her with those piercing green eyes. She was sure the confused look on her face was rather dumb looking. “What do you mean? She barely even looks at me anymore.” 

If Lexa could feel Octavia staring at her quizzically, she didn’t let on, she just continued staring at her cousin. “Well maybe not when you’re watching, but when you look away she looks at you the 8th wonder of the world.” 

“I- I-” 

“Do you love her back?” 

At the blunt question, Octavia choked on air. Not getting a response, Lexa looked back up once more, eyes intently reading the flustered girl across the bed.

Regaining her composure, Octavia sighed. “Of course.” 

“Good.” 

“Good?” 

“Yeah, you make her happy… most of the time. I mean let's be honest, the truth is the real reason she hasn’t been happy is because you two haven’t been together, even as friends.” Lexa took a breath. “I just want her to be happy.” 

“Me too.” 

“Good. Now don’t make me regret letting you stay here. You better keep making her happy.” 

“I’ll do my best.” 

Lexa gave a little nod, and both of them seemed to understand that the conversation was over and the more important task of watching Raven was at hand. 

When Clarke came back with a nurse and small cot with extra blankets, Lexa instantly collapsed onto the rickety old thing encouraging the blonde to lie down with her, but Octavia stayed put, content to just sit next to Raven, holding her hand.

Within minutes the couple on the cot was out cold, not that Octavia could blame them. It was just past five in the morning and they had all had a long six hours, Raven especially. 

But for some reason Octavia couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was because she felt the need to watch every breath Raven took to make sure she didn’t stop. Maybe it was because she needed to keep holding her to make sure she really was right there, and that the car hadn’t taken her from her. Or maybe it was because her heart was feeling to full, and beating too fast to even let her think about calming down or even going to sleep. But nonetheless, one thing was clear. Octavia definitely wasn’t leaving Raven’s side. 

She stayed perfectly still for who knows how long, until a nurse came in to change Raven’s IV bag. 

The nurse went about her job quietly, seemingly a master of not disturbing patients as she worked, and within two minutes she was ready to leave until Octavia stopped her.

“Excuse me, I just… She’s been moving around in her sleep a lot, and it looks like she’s in pain.” 

Before she could even finish her thought, the nurse gave a reassuring smile and grabbed Raven’s chart from the end of the bed. After quickly glancing over the information she went back to adjust the drip of the IV bag. 

“That should help.” 

“Thank you so much.” 

As the pain washed away from Raven’s face, Octavia really was grateful. Seeing Raven sleeping peacefully brought some sense of calm over her, and knowing that she partially made if happen, made her feel a little better. She might have been the reason Raven was in a hospital bed, but Octavia was determined to make her recovery was as smooth as possible

OoOoOoO 

When Raven woke up three hours later to harsh lights coming in through from the windows, she was even loopier than before. 

It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to the bright white flooding in from all directions, but when she was finally able to see, her gaze was drawn towards a hopeful looking brunette sitting to her right. 

The girl seemed to be happy to see her, but that only made Raven feel worse. Before she could help it, tears started streaming down her face as she released soft sobs.

At the sudden outburst of tears Octavia immediately sat upright and took Raven’s face in her hands. Using her thumbs to brush away the tears, she tried to calm her down, but Raven continued crying.

“Am I- am I- Am I dead!?” 

“What?” 

“I don’t want to be dead!” 

Clarke and Lexa stirred at the sudden noise. Upon seeing her cousin’s state, Lexa jumped to her feet and was at her side in a minute. 

“Rae, you’re not dead. Why do you think that?”

“B-b-b-because, she’s an angel!” Raven muttered, eyes locking on Octavia. “A-and angels only live in heaven. Am I in heaven? Am I dead?” 

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at that. Lexa had looked so terrified, and finding out Raven was just completely high, was of course incredibly relieving, also kind of funny, but mostly annoying. 

“You idiot! I thought something was wrong!” 

“But there is!” Raven protested sluggishly waving her arms. “Someone needs to call God and tell her she’s missing an angel!” 

Octavia was blushing like an idiot by now, which only made Clarke laugh even louder. “God’s a girl?” 

“Yes!” Raven said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I saw her.” 

“You saw her?” 

“Yes but then my angel took me away from her.” 

The other three in the room shared a glance, but Raven wasn’t bothered by it. She was more concerned with the angel in front of her. 

“Can you touch my hand so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?” 

Octavia bashfully stepped forward, and gently put her hand on Raven’s face, as Clarke and Lexa smirked. Based on the strangled noise she let out as she nuzzled into Octavia’s hand, Raven seemed to be happy. 

After a moment, Raven blearily looked up at Lexa and grinned mischievously. “Look Lexy, I’ve been touched by an angel!” 

Lexa just rolled her eyes, and grabbed Octavia’s other hand. “Big whoop. So have I!”

Raven pouted at that and pulled Octavia closer to her. “NOooO! She’s my angel!” 

“Yeah Lexa, she’s only Raven’s.” Clarke smiled, slowly pushing her girlfriend from the room to leave them alone. 

Once the couple was gone, Octavia sat back down next to Raven who clung to her hand as she settled back down. 

Octavia was content to sit and laugh as Raven continued babbling cute pick-up lines to her. She didn’t mind at all. She hadn’t even realized how long they had been alone, until Clarke and Lexa came back an hour later after eating, now accompanied by Indra. 

Sensing that it was probably family time now, Octavia decided to go get her own food, despite the protests of Raven who was now slightly less loopy.

Reluctantly, Octavia aimlessly wandered down to the hospital cafeteria, and sat by herself at a table. For a few minutes she just sat lost in her own little world, until she nearly fell asleep and realized that eating would probably be very helpful. 

After a really crappy stack of pancakes and half an apple, Octavia was feeling slightly less tired and hurried to get back to Raven. 

But when she made it to the room, she frowned to see Clarke standing outside the door by herself.

“Where is everyone?” 

Clarke startled at the sudden voice, and quickly whipped her head around. “Huh?” 

“Why are you out here by yourself?” Octavia tried again. 

“Well Indra and Lexa went to go call Raven’s mom and give her an update, and then Luna showed up. She’s inside talking to Raven right now, so I thought I’d give them some space. It sounded serious.” 

Octavia’s face fell. Moving to the door, she watched as Raven stared intently, listening to whatever it was Luna was saying. 

After a few minutes, Octavia watched with a frown, as the two hugged for what seemed like an eternity, before Raven lied back down, and Luna sat and ran her fingers through her hair. Once the brunette seemed to be asleep, Luna stood up and started walking towards the door. 

To seem like she hadn’t just been watching them, Octavia quickly darted away from the door and stood next to Clarke, ignoring the blonde’s questioning look.

With a sigh, Luna stepped out of the room and made eye contact with Octavia. “She’s all yours.” 

Octavia wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that, but she wasted no time in getting into the room, desperate to be with Raven again.

Alone once more, Octavia held Raven’s hand, eyes carefully watching every feature of her face, in case she woke up. But just as she was becoming used to the silence in the room, the door opened again and Clarke quietly stepped inside.

“They broke up.” 

Octavia perked up at that. “They broke up?” 

“Yep.” Clarke nodded. “She told her about what Anya said, and how they both just wanted what was best for her. So they decided to call it off, so she could pursue whatever makes her happy.” 

“Oh.” 

Clarke rolled her eyes as she watched the younger girl become lost in her own mind. “Oh? Only oh?” 

“What do you want me to say?” 

“How about how you feel about her for starters?” Clarke asked incredulously, growing a little tired of the two of them dancing around their feelings.

“But what if I can’t tell her?” Octavia asked, her voice small.

“Why couldn’t you tell her?”

“I’m scared.” 

“What are you scared of?” 

Closing her eyes for a moment, Octavia blinked back tears. “I know that I love her. She’s amazing. It’s just- She deserves the world, but what if I can’t give it to her. I just want her to be happy.” 

“Yeah well sweeping her off her feet would probably make her pretty happy.” 

“But I’ve hurt her so much… What if she doesn’t want me?”

“Then she doesn’t want you, and you have to deal with it.”

Shocked by her friend’s bluntness, Octavia felt a few tears slip down her cheeks. “I just… I love her, Clarke. I don’t even want to think about that. I love her.” 

“Well then you should tell her.” Clarke said simply. “The worse she could do is not love you back, but we all know that’s not the case.“

Octavia took a minute to wipe her tears, before looking up gratefully at the blonde. She wanted to say something, but she was just a little too choked up to form actual words. 

Sensing her predicament, Clarke just leaned in for a hug, holding her tight for a moment before leaving the room. 

Left with just Raven, Octavia felt a few more tears slide down her cheeks. Upset with herself for crying so much, she furiously rubbed her hands over her face, until a raspy voice made her look up. 

“I love you too, you idiot.” 

Unsure if she was hallucinating or not, Octavia moved closer to her favorite pair of brown eyes, as they blinked open wearily.

“You what?” 

Smiling as she rolled her eyes, Raven blushed slightly. “I love you, dumbass.” 

Octavia just stared at her, their faces inches apart. She couldn’t believe her ears. "I love you too." Subconsciously she had started to lean a little closer, until their lips were mere millimeters from touching, and then Raven’s warm breath as she spoke, spurred her to life. 

“I can’t really sit up, so if you want to kiss me you’re gonna have to lean down.” 

And she did. 

When their lips connected, both girls gasped. It was something they had both built up in their minds for years, but the reality surpassed all expectations. 

Before either of them could pull back, Octavia was climbing onto the bed and straddling Raven’s waist, while the girl beneath her threaded her fingers into her hair to pull her closer. 

The kiss only grew more heated until Raven suddenly yelped when Octavia brushed against her leg. Octavia quickly moved so she was lying next to the pained girl as she spewed out apologies. 

“Rae! I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” 

Raven just smiled through her grimace. “Don’t be, it was worth it.” 

Put only slightly at ease by her words, Octavia lied down on her back, as Raven moved to give her room. They cuddled together like they used to, but it felt different this time. After the abrupt end to their kiss, neither of them seemed to want to say anything, Octavia was afraid of doing something else and accidentally hurting Raven, while Raven was just trying to breathe through her pain, so they opted to simply be in each other’s company, finally safe in one another's arms. But as Octavia stared at the ceiling, Raven stared at her. 

“You look upset. Was it not good?” 

“No! I’m not! It was amazing!” Octavia quickly assured, rolling over to face Raven. “I’m just a little surprised.” 

“Surprised?” 

“Yeah this wasn’t exactly how I planned any of this happening.” 

“Oh you had a plan?” Raven questioned, eyebrows raising slightly.

Octavia blushed. “It was nothing.” 

“Of course it wasn’t. Now you have to tell me? What were you gonna do? Were you going to woo me with a walk on the beach? Because that plan’s fucked now.” 

“No, it wasn’t that. Where’s there even a beach near here?” 

“I don’t know.” Raven shrugged. “Just know that I’m not easily wooed.” 

“Oh I know.” Octavia smiled, bashfully tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

“So what was your plan? I’ll tell you if I would have approved.” 

Octavia took a deep breath and averted her eyes from Raven’s lingering gaze. “Well when I was at your house last night I planned to very romantically reveal my feelings for you, and if that had gone well I was going to give you the tickets I got to the planetarium’s viewing of Halley ’s Comet. I was kind of banking on you still being into space.” Seeing no signs of disappointment when she looked up, Octavia continued. “And then once we kind of got a look at it through the planetarium’s telescope thing, I would have had chairs and a little picnic set up on the roof of school so we could get a good look of the sky when the comet actually came. And then later that night when you were talking about how amazing it was and how gorgeous the sky looked, I was going to tell you that you were even more spectacular, and lean in for a kiss.” 

Breathless, Octavia looked hopeful yet still wary as she tried to read Raven’s expression. 

Raven just looked at her in awe for a moment, before her lips curled up into a familiar smirk. “Wow O, that’s sappy as shit. And people think I’m the romantic one?” 

Octavia blushed. “Shut up, no I’m not.” 

“You’re a romantic little nerd!” Raven sung, poking the younger girl in her sides, making her jump away. 

“I’m not a nerd, you asshole!” 

“Yes you are.” Raven grinned, eyes twinkling. “You’re my romantic little nerd.” 

“Oh fuck you!” 

Octavia’s face was bright red by now, but there was no malice in her words. Instead her dopey smile almost matched Raven’s own. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you.” 

“Oh my god! You’re impossible.” Octavia groaned, burying her face in Raven’s neck, trying to hide her embarrassment. 

“Yeah well you love me.” Raven mocked, pulling her tighter into her arms. 

“Nope. I changed my mind. I hate you now.” 

“No you don’t.” 

“Yes I do.” 

“No you can’t, that’s impossible.” 

“Well I do.” 

“No you don’t, you looooooove me!” 

Octavia huffed, not able to hold her smile back any more. “ Fine, I guess I do.” 

“Not good enough. You have to say it.” 

Rolling her eyes, Octavia sat back up. “I love you Raven Reyes. I love you and your entire dumbass self.” 

“Aww babe! I love you too!”

Raven was beaming now, and in that moment Octavia decided she would do anything in her power to make sure she always stayed like that. But after that rush of emotions, and being up all night, Octavia felt her adrenalin start to wear off, and all she wanted to do was cuddle up and fall asleep. She was sure Raven wouldn’t mind. 

Relaxing back into Raven’s chest, she felt two arms wrap around her waist. With a sigh, she curled up under the thin hospital blanket and clung to Raven like she was scared to let her go. Scared that if she wasn’t holding on tight enough she might leave in the middle of the night. But Raven didn’t mind.

After letting her get comfortable, Raven placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as Octavia settled down between her shoulder and chin. 

“You know I’d never hate you right?” 

If they weren’t so close, Raven would have been able to hear Octavia’s mumbling, but aside from the soft beeping of some machine, they were so entangled in each other's worlds that they could probably read one another’s minds if they really tried. 

“Of course you wouldn’t. I’m awesome.” 

As she felt Octavia smile against her neck, Raven couldn’t help but smile too. 

Maybe falling in love with your bestfriend isn’t so bad after all. 

Eventually Octavia’s breathing began to slow, and Raven was sure she had fallen asleep, until she took in one last deep breath. 

“I love you.”

Raven smiled to herself herself as she heard Octavia’s soft snores, having drifted off right after saying it. Still smiling, she kissed her forehead once more. 

“I love you too.” 

Despite the fact that there was a person lying on her very broken and painful ribs, Raven couldn’t be happier. Octavia’s heart seemed to be beating in rhythm with her own, and her slow steady breaths slowly lulled Raven to sleep as well. 

But before she fell into a deep sleep with the girl of her dreams in her arms, Raven squeezed her tighter to savor the feeling forever and make sure she wasn’t dreaming. 

Now this, Raven was sure was the best feeling in the world. 

She was wrong, of course. But she wouldn’t find that out until many years later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I finally wrote this freaking chapter!!!!! If it feels like this chapter moved really fast it’s because it did. I wanted to get something out, so I could be done with this, so this isn't really my best work. As you’ve probably noticed I’ve been MIA for like months so I thought you all deserved something. So this is the product of me finally sitting down to write it. I’ve been in the car for the past four hours (still 6 more to go) and I’m posting it at a rest stop, so I hope you enjoy it! I know it’s probably not what anybody expected. I didn’t even expect this. It's kind of sloppy and goes super fast, but I tried to make it somewhat good. 
> 
> As of right now I’m kind of putting this on indefinite HIATUS. I left the ending like this so if I feel motivated to do so, I could just continue writing from this spot and get into all the cute Octaven love the world deserves. I know this seems really abrupt to just end it here, and I agree, this isn’t really how I planned on doing this (when Octavia described their first kiss and date that was how I was going to make it actually go down) but this is what I’m going with. I’ve kind of just run out of motivation with this story. I love writing, but I just feel so stuck with this story. I started it almost a year ago, and I’m really proud of how it turned out for the most part, I’m just kind of done with it (at least for right now). I’ve had a kind of crazy year. First of all I finally got the courage to actually put my writing out there for other people to see, and then my chronic pain got a lot worse and I went to rehab, and then I got diagnosed with depression, and then I got another concussion and messed everything up further, and then I couldn’t go on an amazing trip to Chile with my friends, BUT i joined my school’s softball teaM (yay stereotypes) and I almost got a girl to go out with me! (she got a girlfriend before I could ask her, but I flirted with her so I count it as a win(not that you care)) so basically what I’m saying is I’m a very different person from when I started writing this, and I don’t feel like I can write it anymore, but I thank you all for reading it so far, and if I ever do feel like picking it back up I’ll let you know. I'm sorry if you're a little disappointed by this "ending" (if I do leave it this way) but this is kind of all I could come up with for now. 
> 
> But now that I’m not writing this anymore, I have lots of other things I want to write!! I have an entire word doc that is just a list of nearly 200 ideas I have for stories or one shots, that I really want to write, so be on the look out for some Octaven or Clextaven oneshots. I also have a couple favorite story ideas that I’d like to do, so probably tomorrow, I’ll update this story again with their summaries so you guys can decide which one you want me to start writing. 
> 
> Okay wow this is a really long note, so I think I’ll stop rambling now. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been here with me for this my first fanfic experience! I love you all! And thank you for reading! <3<3<3


	22. New Stories?

So my list of ideas in general (includes one shots, and long and short stories) is reallllyyy long, but this is the condensed version of the top 5 stories that I think could be interesting. I don't want to give anything away about the stories, so these are kind of bare bone descriptions.

 

1\. Clexa Kidfic

Octaven are parents to a 3 year old Clarke who they adopted when she was young, but they've always wanted a big family. When fate literally bumps into them in the form of Anya and her little sister Lexa, who are on the run from an old foster home, they can't help but take them in. It's a tough road, as Lexa and Anya try and fight their instincts to trust no one, but Octaven and Clarke might be the family they need to change their minds. 

WARNING!: Will be freaking adorable and include lots of puppy Lexa and cute Clexa as kids! But there will also be mentions of past abuse. 

 

2\. Octaven wants a baby!

After Clarke and Lexa have a baby, Octavia falls in love with the idea of having her own kid. Raven is against the idea for many different reasons, but she can never say no to Octavia. Will she give in? (the answer is yes she will, obviously)

 

3\. Then There Were Two (Octaven and Clexa)

Set in an Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamic AU, Clarke is the only omega sent to the ground with the 100. Being the nervous mother she is, Abby convinces Raven to help her build the escape pod but when Abby can't go down, (semi canon) Raven goes down to join Clarke, making them the only two omegas in the alpha dominated 100. Tensions rise as animal instincts get the best of everyone, and Octavia feels a needs to protect Raven. Clarke proves herself to be the best leader of the 100 despite her status as an omega, but what will happen when she meets a certain  irresistible grounder alpha? 

 

Edit: Will be G!P Octavia 

 

4\. My Brother's Girlfriend

17 year old Octavia has a major crush on Bellamy's girlfriend (Raven) and is kind of terrible at hiding it. It really doesn't help that Raven is always around the house, even when Bellamy isn't, and something about her personality just makes Octavia fall harder, even though she's off limits.  Clexa make an appearance as Octavia's best friends who try to encourage her as she struggles to accept her sexuality, and totally ship Octaven.

It will be kind of a slowburn (but not as slow as this story was) and it will have a lot more Octaven moments before they actually get together. 

 

5\. Mafia AU? (Octaven)

Raven Reyes is the youngest of 6 and the only daughter of the Reyes Crime Family. Her older brothers and dad would do anything to protect her, but when their father dies, everything starts to go down hill. Their father secretly borrowed money from the Blakes (another crime family) to keep the family afloat, but when Marcus (Kane) Blake shows up to collect, they don't have enough to pay him off. Despite their promise to always protect their sister, when Marcus demands Raven to marry his oldest child as payment they can't help but say no. 

WARNING!: Would be Octavia G!P and have crime under themes including, drugs, violence, death, and torture

 

Let me know what you think! I'm always open to ideas!

Again, thanks to everyone who read Secrets, Secrets Are No Fun, and I hope you find some of these interesting enough to want to read!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So these are the ideas that I am excited to write about, if you like any of them and would really want to read a full story of them feel free to comment below, on my instagram (theworldneedsmoreoctaven) or email if you want (kaercosl@gmail.com)


	23. It's Up!

Alright the new story is up! You should go check out Then There Were Two!

 

You can read this in the end note of the new story, but basically what I want to know is if people would also like an intro chapter to My Brother's Girlfriend to decide which one they like best. The vote was really close with TTWT winning by only one vote, so to be fair I thought I should give a little intro chapter of each to see if that sways people's minds.

 

Either way, I hope you'll go read it and let me know what you think! 

 

Thank you!!! <3<3<3


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